Breaking up is hard enough under normal circumstances. Here’s what can happen if borderline personality disorder is added to the mix.
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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex psychological condition that affects both men and women, and this video in no way represents all people suffering from the disease. It does, however, illustrate the toxic dynamic and twisted communication typical of many relationships involving partners with BPD.
Photo—shrink4men/YouTube
I’ve been there, so been there. Wow, it’s like my recent ex-girlfriend situation to a “T”. Only wish I could have kept my cool like that guy.
Thank you for this video, I really needed to laugh over what was quite an awful experience when it came to discussing anything important and rational. Only wish I could share it with my ex. Debating whether she’d get a laugh or not.
It is a fascinating albeit completely crazy making dynamic.
I’ve had very similar “discussions” with my gf who displays most of the symptoms, so I’d say its not an inacurrate portrayal.
I was married to a woman who I suspected of suffering from BPD. She was studying to become a social worker, and so would often throw around the term “borderline” as a half-hearted diagnosis of some of her acquaintances (and even a few friends). Reading her DSM (IV), it seemed that she exhibited most of the criteria designated for diagnosis. I secretly bought a book on living with a person with BPD called “Walking on Eggshells”; when she discovered I was reading it, she tore it up. I can’t say for sure she had BPD, but angry denial of a… Read more »
Rhi, i agree there are many levels to BPD, but the video isn’t saying all are abusive. The point oof the video is the females insistence that the male is being abusive and she is the victim. When reality he is being very civil and honest but she is being manipulative and refuses to see herself as shouldering any blame what so ever. These are all traits of BPD, so pretty wide spread.
I get the point of the video, but in that case it should just be called ‘breaking up with my girlfriend’, and not labeling the reasons for her behavior. Also being manipulative and not taking blame are not symptoms of BPD. If you look a list of symptoms on the NHS website or Mind it’s not listed. Some BPD people can be manipulative, but this is a reaction to symptoms such as fear of being abandoned. To put it in terms of physical health if you have an illness where you are in pain all the time and this makes… Read more »
I felt bad for the guy. But I guess its easy for someone to hide their crazy until things have gotten serious and emotionally entangled, and now he is trying to do the right thing. You can’t win with the people, the only way is to respect one’s own mental health and choose to be around people who are good for you. There can be no intimacy when two people are not on the same mental level, and if you change yourself to become like them in hopes of finding acceptance, or try to fix them, then that isn’t love… Read more »
Yep, been there and done that. Put up the psychic shields and get distance as far as possible. Change phone, addresses, anything that linked you to her. I pity her therapist, no one works them more than BPD clients and it often ends in a lawsuit. Your example is very true. The more you try to connect and reason, the more abuse you garner. Distance is your only friend in a relationship with a BPD. The sex is wild and good, but not worth the agony to follow.
Hey there So I have BPD and I’m watching this. It was made based on a series of emails sent to his friend by an abusive girlfriend. People can be abusive without having BPD. People are can be good people or bad. People who are good natured and have BPD will not behave like this. Why are you using something so one sided and silly to represent BPD on such a progressive website? I have hardly had any stigma for my mental illness, but seeing this make me feel sick. Depression is a much more understood illness than BPD and… Read more »
Thank you, Rhi. I totally agree with you.
No, not everyone with BDP is abusive, nor would react this way to a breakup. It’s too bad, because BPD is not a condition a lot of people know about and this video (on this website, no less!) gives it a very twisted and unrealistic image.