This heartbreaking text exchange with an emotionally abusive partner will feel all too familiar to anyone in a relationship characterized by domination and control.
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To an emotionally abusive partner, no doesn’t mean no. Refusal is an opportunity to employ intimidation, bullying, guilt, and emotional blackmail to force a response of yes. Emotional abuse takes many forms, but it is always a recognizable pattern of communication in which one partner ignores or dismisses the other’s needs in favor of his or her own and will stop at nothing get his or her way. Emotional abusers make the pain of drawing your boundary greater than the pain of giving in, and they don’t care about your suffering. They may frame their need as your need, but they only care about themselves.
Photo—Mariah Wisner/YouTube
I can’t take this anymore, it’s been two years of this…
His last text:
“You’re full of shit and you can go fuck yourself… We were never together… I was never your boyfriend and so like you I did nothing wrong and so for you keep claiming other wise, especially when you’re the single most unaccountable lying whore on the planet just goes to show how shameless you are. You don’t care that you look like such of a piece of shit saying all the things you say…I hope you choke sucking some guys dick!”
I think it’s important to recognize that this video isn’t trying to depict an entire relationship, it’s merely demonstrating emotional abuse that can happen within relationships and does a great job doing so in just a few minutes. Of course the abuse is going to escalate very quickly in the video because, as I said, there’s not much time to make a point. Also, the premise of the video is that the person we see texting is trans, so assuming the gender of either person is pretty presumptuous considering there is no obvious indicators either way. This video is well… Read more »
As for the comments about what I relayed about myself, I have not commented on other articles but this is what I was getting at. Did not mean it to sound self-centered. I was agreeing with this messaging that it doesn’t discriminate and is in many homes in America you would not guess.
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/this-guy-makes-your-abuser-look-good-gmp/
For others that happen upon this page, here are more articles on this topic:
https://goodmenproject.com/tag/psychological-abuse/
The video on the article “Inside a Violent Man’s life” is another really great use of video to shine a light on these terrible issues. Very impactful.
I have a therapist. My point was to share some info that was beyond teen or college dating. I have also done much reading on the topic and was really interested on what the article stated on Facebook. That was my point to see a glimpse into what is considered verbal abuse on text versus someone just being short or moody. As another person pit it more articulately than I did later in the comments. It just wasn’t what fb advertised to get a click through. And I thought what was advertised would be a very interesting video to make.… Read more »
Where in the title does it say that this is going to be about you? That video clearly demonstrated many various aspects of what emotional abuse looks and feels like. As someone who has also been through years of, and also as someone who is well and truly over 30, and also as someone who has worked in technology making high six figures for the past 20 years, I would say that you are completely self absorbed and from the way you have communicated are likely to be an abuser at an emotional level. You began by seeking sympathy for… Read more »
There is a difference between emotionally abusive and physically abusive. While emotionally abusive can be non violent it can still be just as traumatic to the victim. Therese are different types of abuse. The comment anonymous left was referring to her experience and the title, which is in emotional abuse, not physical.
To this comment: anonymous says: November 6, 2014 at 5:12 am yes, that is what I meant, the title and concept of emotional and verbal abuse, threats, etc. used in text messages. It can be discreet and start small and turn larger. also agree with the other comments that it’s good to teach people young, so that is good that a piece was created for college / young people. I did not get that when I read and saw the first time that it was made for college student as you said, because most of the content I read here… Read more »
To anonymous – this video was geared towards young people, so it centered around young peoples’ forms of communication (texting) and issues (school). It’s supposed to raise awareness about abusive relationship types and how to spot them. Obviously being married with children, you would have a different abuse experience than a college student. They’re both valid, but just different. And I agree with the previous comment – it’s important to teach kids about abusive relationships while they’re still dating – BEFORE they’re married with children and find themselves in an abusive situation.
It’s sad that anonymous thinks this is not talking abuse. It only gets worse from there. To say that their perspective would have been better, I shake my head. You cannot even say your name. How would you tell your story. Abuse starts well before someone ends up in the hospital
It’s time to acknowledge abuse from the beginning so no more lives end in violence.
This is all too true.
This was really dumb. As someone who has been emotionally and otherwise manipulated and abused I was so interested to see what someone else has happen to them. I am married with a child. Could gave been a more realistic or usable situation instead of young people dating games. Kind of confusing anyway as he started off saying what are we doing tonight and then immediately said he was too just and then let’s take a break. Maybe get real peoples abusive texts. I would love to see that just to understand more and compare to what goes on in… Read more »
It’s an ad for university students if you watch to the end
I would agree with anonymous. It appears that the guy is playing games when he asks what are we doing tonight and then breaks it off because he says he’s too stressed about school to see her. I think its a very poor example of emotional abuse because it could easily just be an example of distancer pursuer relationship and ignores the poor communication and emotional baiting from the guy. I would be suspect if my partner was acting in such a manner and then wanted to dump me after that. It would upset someone emotionally and easily cause someone… Read more »
Thanks, you explained much better what I was trying to get at. There are other videos on this site that are like this that have been very interesting and the examples a bit more useful. Like you I get the girl is using manipulation to reveal his secret, but that was my point calling it “dumb” – bad choice of words at the time. But it just is a funky example to use. For reasons like you outlined. THe headline and other copy I very much agree with. It is a real issue. Showing it going on as texting was… Read more »