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There was a rape at a nearby California university. Three men and a woman left a bar and walked to a nearby park. The men forced her to the ground and raped her.
And then I read something a woman friend posted on Facebook.
So a girl was raped by UC Davis last night, the cop said “rape is rape, it’s never the victims fault.” I agree, but could it possibly be followed with BUT FEMALES SHOULD PROBABLY REFRAIN FROM LEAVING A BAR AFTER A NIGHT OF DRINKING AND PARTYING WITH THREE GUYS TO WALK TO A PARK?!
The shame of personal responsibility … just another arrow in culture’s quiver.
I know many women who’ve been raped. Each of them found themselves in a situation robbed of their voice, will, and flesh. Long after their physical wounds healed, they were left struggling the emotional wounds—ones that can’t heal because the scars have manifested biologically, their brains incapable of processing the rape and moving past it. The trauma ricochets inside their mind causing unconscious suffering that they grapple with daily in he waking world.
These are women I love, tried to love. Family. Friends. Lovers.
Predator men walk, free of conscience and consequence, and good men are left struggling to love the women and the wounds the wolves left behind.
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Drugged.
Beaten.
Molested.
Doubted.
Judged.
Shunned.
Predator men walk, free of conscience and consequence and good men are left struggling to love the women and the wounds the wolves left behind.
So when you shame them, even by an ignorant sliver of degree, I rage inside. And then I am shocked numb when some of you who know the nightmare of rape point a critical finger too.
How can you? Where’s YOUR personal responsibility?
Women need to always make good choices. They need to dress conservatively, be careful with their words. They need to subdue their sexuality, not draw attention to themselves. Then rape will stop.
Bullshit.
We need to educate women, empower them, weaponize their bodies. We need to tell them to watch out of each other, to never be alone. Then rape will stop.
Bullshit.
Women need to be incessantly vigilant. Men are to be feared, questioned. Men are inherently aggressive, perpetually horny, manipulative. It’s just their nature.
Bullshit.
This is how rape must be handled. If you don’t do these things, you allow rape to happen. Even though a vile and brutal act has been committed, you share some responsibility.
Epic bullshit.
It is you who shares responsibility. Stop feeding the damn wolves.
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It is you who shares responsibility. Stop feeding the damn wolves.
You are wielding blame and shame with blind righteousness. Don’t you think a woman who was raped is regretful? And then you heap your bullshit on her? Shame on them for putting themselves in that situation, they should know better…and then you wonder why rape victims don’t talk?
You gave up.
I am a potential victim. A woman’s life is a battlefield where monsters roam the countryside. They always have, always will. That’s just life.
You have decided it’s acceptable, that’s it’s easier to treat the symptom than the illness. You curse the fruit as you water the root. Aggression and violence against women thrives with your defeat.
Men and women deserve better than capitulation to a culture that breeds and nurtures monsters.
Fight.
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Photo credit: John Hain/Pixabay
I get your point, but like most things in life it’s a little more complex than that. There is one person missing from this conversation. She is the woman who hasn’t yet gone drinking with three men and decided to go with them to a park. She’s the woman who hasn’t been raped yet, but may still engage in behaviors that increase the risk of being raped. How do you or how should you get this information out to her or do you? Should police not tell people that some people are posing as X to scam you out of… Read more »
John, women don’t need to be told to be cautious. It’s a reality we grow up with. Every day of our lives. But consider the reality of what a completely safe life looks like. We never go out with our friends. We always come home before dark. We never go to a bar and drink. Do you honestly think that’s a realistic scenario for most women, especially those who are just coming into adulthood? It seems a bit ridiculous to me. Let’s instead focus on dismantling a cultural climate that views women as sexual objects and possessions, and excuses violent… Read more »
I’m sure they do except when they don’t. Just like the guy who gets scammed. He already knows that if a deal is too good to be true, it isn’t. No one is going to get rich over night. I was asked by a woman for help. She was in her 40s / 50s. I’m sure she’s been around the block so to speak, yet she wanted me to help her provide her bank information to a Nigerian Prince or something like that. I told her that I wouldn’t help her because it was a scam. People have human needs… Read more »