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This graphic from Imgur shows how deeply sexism stings both men and women and offers a path towards more respectful relations.
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Top photo—Andy Bullock/Flickr
Graphic—Imgur
Most of those examples stem from the fact that men believe it is shameful to be a woman. Being like a woman is shameful for men. If men respected women, then having womanly attributes would not be seen as a sign of weakness or dishonour.
Both sexes are image bearers of God and therefore deserve respect not only as males or females but as unique individuals. I do want to point out that many of the “insults” directed toward men (weak, pussy, emotional) are at their core attacks on feminine sexuality. That doesn’t mean they don’t hurt men, but it does mean it comes back at females x2.
One of the moves that might shift the entire feminist movement forward for people of all genders is to start repeatedly, in very public ways, pointing out that every single human, regardless of age or genital shape, comes equipped with the SAME sex hormones! Sadly, for WAYYYYYYYY too many generations, we’ve been taught/been teaching that estrogen and oxytocin are “female hormones”, while testosterone is a “male hormone”. WRONG! Every member of the human species is designed to be an ongoing generator of ALL of the sex hormones. They range in levels, tremendously, over our life spans, as well as, throughout… Read more »
Sexual dimorphism still exists though.
I just want to throw in my two cents. I’m gay, effeminate, weak, fat, so many other things that society hates. Also Latino. I have always rejected most of the things that society has told me I was supposed to be. I hated the “Macho Man” song, when the boy down the street loved it. I hated GI Joes, I hated football, I hated almost any game or sport that involved only boys. I almost always played with just girls, and if I played with boys, it was with girls too, co-ed. I rarely only played with just boys. Yes,… Read more »
I meant he wasn’t my hubby at the time
Sorry three yr old climbing on me!
Our ex friends who loved belittling everyone told me my husband (wasn’t at the time) was gay because they saw him cleaning the kitchen with a gay friend. My husband isn’t a big man, he’s quite skinny. He is better at cooking than me, he is tidier than me. The way they associated him cleaning with being gay is ridiculous and small minded. it angers me that we have to label people
I’ve also had strangers belittle my parenting skills as I let my 5 yr old boy wear nail polish. What is wrong with people
Our ex friends who loved belittling everyone told me my husband (wasn’t at the time) was gay because they saw him cleaning the kitchen with a gay friend. My husband isn’t a big man, he’s quite skinny. He is better at cooking than me, he is tidier than me. The way they associated him cleaning with being gay is ridiculous and small minded. it angers me that we have to label people
I’ve also had strangers belittle my parenting skills as I let my 5 yr old boy wear nail polish. What is wrong with people
You just had to call it a “sting,” didn’t you. Not “suffering” or “pain” or “hurt” or “devastation” or “wounding,” but “sting,” like it’s a minor inconvenience that may bring slight tears to the eyes. I have been a loyal reader and contributor for years now, but this is one of those little but extremely irritating things I notice once in a while. I have to ignore the paranoid part of me and just assume that the slight was entirely unintentional. “Sting” sounds like one of the thousands of little dismissals of men’s feelings that men experience all the time.… Read more »
There are always somebody who jump in with some taurine excrement on whos to blame, who has to get all the attention and the usual ‘ man up’ and ‘ suck it up’ written between the lines. Ending with the egocentric ‘ I dont care ‘ and the tyrannical ‘ I tell you what to do ‘. In heavens name, so arrogant that is boring. Old trick to alleviate a attention deficit from childhood. Kenneth please….this is not facebook, this is the GMP. Dont forget that
There is nothing wrong with men and women who identify with classic gender roles either! My husband is happy with providing and fighting and he is not afraid to share his feelings. He is very well rounded. I am very emotional and very feminine. I love being a stay at home mama and I love serving my man. We take care of eachother in the ways that are natural for us.
My God you people are long-winded! (kidding, sort of) 🙂 Hopefully, I can take the time to finish reading some of these comments, because they seem very intelligent and insightful. I just wanted to say that. Also, Erin, I hope I’ve never been too defensive or dismissive with some of my comments in the past–because I can sometimes be clueless and defensive–but I do appreciate your commentary as intelligent and necessary. I also appreciate your (anyone’s) willingness to share personal information, and I sincerely hope you are well. I know why so many men who feel harmed by traditional society… Read more »
the boy’s ‘er, whoops caught’ face in the ‘girly interests’ cartoon, always me chuckle.
caught his expression so perfectly
Maybe this toon will help me sort things out because I believe in feminist ideals (that gender roles need to be done away with) but then again, I have a problem with words like “male privilege”, “patriarchy” or even “feminism” itself; it assumes that sexism is a situation where someone wins and someone else loses while in fact everyone loses.
Those words have become counter-productive to the very causess they want to further. Think for one second; if you tell half the World that what oppresses you is their privilege, then why would they want to lose the said “privilege”?
Theirs and ours. Us and them. Talking about one group’s issues doesn’t mean we’re belittling the others. Talking about one group’s issues might belittle another’s. Erin said “So many of us feel belittled for simply seeing the other gender acknowledged and given attention to their feelings and hardships. I see this *ALL* the time.” Validation is a personal, not a collective act. Forgive me, but I will never understand why some people seem to view gender there like it’s some kind of team sport; Do you yourself feel such a collective notion identity and commonality with all those people… Read more »
Mostly, yes, I personally do identify and have commonality with other women by nature of our gender and certain shared experiences. That doesn’t mean I can’t have commonality with men or that I have commonality with *all* women but there are certain shared experiences I do have that are very much gender based on a broader spectrum. Just as there are people of different races and sexual preferences that have shared experiences built around those factors as well. Put me into a room with all men and I will not have the same social experience as I will being in… Read more »
I appreciate you articulating your perspectives there too Erin, thank-you: I thought you wrote very candidly. I agree with what you said about the call for greater compassion, understanding, kindness, tolerance, and support for everyone, because yes, everyone needs it sometimes; and in the end we’re all better people for giving and receiving it, as best we can. There’s nothing wrong with taking pride (but hopefully not inordinate, excessive, overreaching, or undue pride) in the things that define ourselves, including in those broader groups we all see ourselves affiliated with. But it’s worth remembering too: Not everyone shares the same… Read more »
“Because talking about one group’s issues doesn’t mean that we’re belittling another group” But doesn’t it? So many of us feel belittled for simply seeing the other gender acknowledged and given attention to their feelings and hardships. I see this *ALL* the time. “Sexism isn’t “us vs. them” it’s “us vs. our lack of mutual understanding”” and “Because if we work together, we can end sexism that hurts both women AND men” AND “Because listening to each other helps all of us” These are the keys to the kingdom right here. Do we try to understand the other side? Do… Read more »
@ Erin
For a while there I thought you were going to take Kenneth McGrath to task for bringing up female victimization on an article about sexism against men. I forgot that was OK because it brought up women.
John Anderson: I forgot that was OK because it brought up women.
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Try to keep up.
John, as I saw this article, it was addressing how sexism is harmful for ALL of us, highlighting the unique ways it’s also harmful for men but it was not specific to just men. Taken right from the points of the cartoon: “Because the same sexism that hurts women also hurts men” (That means both of us) “Sexism isn’t “us vs. them” it’s “us vs. our lack of mutual understanding”” (That means both of us) “Because if we work together, we can end sexism that hurts both women AND men” That means both of us) “Because listening to each other… Read more »
@ Erin I’m a flawed human being. I recognize that. I won’t be right all the time, but I do try to be fair. I hope you find I’m very consistent with my thought process. I would hope that consistency of thought would counter balance an emotional response and many times I can both see and argue nuance. I am a flawed person and there are times I take things personally. For example, much of the resentment I feel for feminists stems from the way I was treated when I initially considered feminism and entered their space. Maybe it was… Read more »
John, based on your post I get the impression that you believe yourself to be the voice of reason and logic amongst emotional responses. In other places here, you’ve attempted to paint my own responses as “emotional”. Painting women as “emotional” and men as “rational” is an old trope. The reality is that each person on GMP is an intelligent individual who has formed their opinions based on a combination of facts, life experiences and emotions. You’re opinions are not based purely out of facts. My opinions are not based purely out of emotions. It is a combination of these… Read more »
” I have never received a word of sympathy or support from any of the guys here. I have rarely received any acknowledgement that I even shared those parts of myself. ” You’ll notice that is common for men too though, when I’ve seen offers of sympathy I’ve seen it more from women. I don’t think it’s because men feel less sympathy, but are unsure of how to offer it. Also there is reluctant to comment with just sympathy, could you imagine say 50 comments saying “Sorry to hear that”? Sure it’d be great to see the sympathy but it… Read more »
Well it has gotten out of hand, all these stereo types are one of the many problems. when dumb shows like duck dynasty hide under “good ole values” but call people sissy boys and belch out yuppies and not to mention it is fake and racist , this is media and power it is time to take the rich white money away they had it for long enough. Drop the b.s. and enjoy being here for a hundred max years whilst having some damn respect for everybody. You want to be mean to people fine be mean to the real… Read more »
Because boys are made of “snips and snails and puppy-dog tails.” When my sisters told me that as a kid it made me ashamed of my gender. Boys are made of nice things too.
Yeah, so we’ve been oppressing and marginalizing women in everything from religion, politics, business sports, since pretty much the beginning of time but we should feel stung because of some backlash? I don’t think so. We don’t need a men’s “movement” unless that’s focused on improving things for women and the planet we live on. I don’t feel like an apologist for being honest with myself about it either.
Kenneth, Insulting a man’s masculinity isn’t backlash from feminists. It’s something women to do men and men do to each other. Also, I believe a positive, constructive movement supporting women is not one that puts down men.
And if you look at most of those sources that oppress and margnalize women you’ll see similar treatment to men as well.
Thinking that all men need to do is work on helping women is a great disservice to men.
And in addition to what Thomas points out silencing male rape victims isn’t “backlash” its something that has gone on for a very long time for its own reasons.
@ Kenneth McGrath
And yet, how many women today have benefited from past male violence? Nearly everybody who owns property in the U.S. if history is to be believed. How many feminists would return that to the Native American? Men are overwhelmingly the casualties of war. Women got the benefit without the cost. Darn oppression.
Too Bad that in those instances you are talking about women weren’t allowed to be in the military. Men complain that women never fought for their country or had to deal with the draft, but you can blame law makers who created the draft for men (and not for women). Those law makers were mostly men so don’t blame women for not being included in the draft, or historically their lack of military service .
@ Lady nut
Women are 53% of the electorate, they haven’t as yet voted en masse for politicians who would make women eligible for the draft. Women aren’t restricted from joining the military nor now participating in combat. I don’t see feminists demanding reduced physical standards for women in combat as they had for police departments. Probably something about the military not paying as much as the police. Funny how that works.
Just because something benefits women doesn’t mean its the fault of women that its happening. There are male privileges that benefit men but were not the fault of men.
Lady nut, except that most men, in times of conscription and the draft, weren’t allowed to be OUT of the military. They had no choice: It was IN the military, or in PRISON. Avoiding the draft was, and I think still is, a crime. To me, that’s not really fair on the many men who actually don’t want to die prematurely as a result of having the government use them to fight its wars. Not all men want to be fighter droids.
Poor dear Kenneth. You didn’t understand one word of this piece did you? It’s not a “backlash,” it’s from the root of the exact same oppression, and it didn’t just happen. “Sexism” is a system that has had the benefit of both women and men supporting it, largely because it maintained a status quo that benefitted both men and women, usually at the expense of men who couldn’t fit into the box. Don’t worry about being “an apologist” for anything—you’re nowhere near being qualified.
Kenneth, you are making the same argument here that men often make against feminists: “These other people have bigger problems, therefore your problems are insignificant.” I shouldn’t have to explain what’s wrong with that kind of thinking. You also seem to have never considered the possibility that the problems for men which are illustrated in this comic are symptoms of the same sexism that hurts women and that feminists are fighting against. Believing that men have real, significant problems doesn’t make you a misogynistic MRA, as long you understand that what is causing these problems is patriarchal gender roles, and… Read more »
“Believing that men have real, significant problems doesn’t make you a misogynistic MRA, as long you understand that what is causing these problems is patriarchal gender roles, and you’re willing to work with feminists to help break them down.”
Some male issues are created or maintained by feminists – the fact that we still get treated as “success objects” for example. You don’t need to be a misogynistic MRA to see and appreciate that.
Believing that men have real, significant problems doesn’t make you a misogynistic MRA, as long you understand that what is causing these problems is patriarchal gender roles, and you’re willing to work with feminists to help break them down.
Hold up.
Why is “willing to work with feminists” a requirement for not being a misogynist?
Thank you for this article. I’m sort-of a tomboy and a lot of my friends men and I feel like this isn’t addressed as often as it should be. Sexism is a disease to be stomped out thoroughly and I am grateful that you would come forward and speak out about it.
*are men. Me and my un-coordinated fingers. Lol.
Kashmir, Thanks for your comment. I hope this article helps eradicate the disease.
I appreciated this article. I have a Social Justice graduate degree, and it’s unfortunate how many times in my classes “male bashing” came up. Every single time I would point out the sexism involved, and how it wasn’t conducive towards the larger goal of understanding gender expectations. Often, I was the only man in the class (or one of two men). It’s difficult to broach a subject like this without being called a “male apologist”. the GMP site is a great example–the vast majority of articles here have people in the comment section who decry the article it’s in as… Read more »
Richard, Thanks for sharing your insight and experience. I’m glad you get that we’re not apologists, and that we’re about fostering dialogue and equality.
My pleasure, sir. It’s part of the reason I read so many articles on this site (and feel obligated to comment on them as well, lol).
You forgot to mention men being considered appliances whose only value is by what they can provide for others. Or to be sacrificed in war.
Because patriarchy has influenced men to believe they must be providers and fighters. The ideas of men from warring cultures on what it means to be masculine has been passed down for thousands of years. Men teach their sons this and girls are taught they can not be fighters or providers, then the cycle perpetuates with men thinking this is their worth and women expecting this display of “masculinity”
Allurielle, I think the roles are evolving and more fluid than ever before. That’s what a lot of the conversation here is about.
I agree with you Thomas, about roles evolving and being more fluid – that much is undenaible. The trouble is that this evolution, in the same way as the evolution of species, is a very slow and gradual process. Which is why I also totally agree with what Alurielle says. Until there is a real seed change and the debate about sexism is torn away from the gynocentric grasp of the feminist movement this evolution shall continue to be slow and gradual. As a result, an end to sexism that we desire so much will never be seen by any… Read more »
Sorry, I meant UNDENIABLE!
“the gynocentric grasp of the feminist movement” ????
Feminism arose because of patriarchy, because women are much more oppressed by the culture than men are. So feminism is focused on freeing women from this oppression. Is that a problem?
The one mistake Feminism made was buying into the same lies men have all their lives. Unless you are at the top of the pyramid like a CEO or politician, everyone else male or female is just a resource
to be used or sacrificed in war. A female President could just as easily send kids off to war. A female CEO could just as easily lay off workers or outsource jobs for profit.
Margret Thatcher didn’t think twice.
Neither would Hillary Clinton, if given the chance. Or Janet Reno, Janet Neopolitano or Dianne Feinstein.
Les you might need to re-read the last 4 panels of the comic. Not sure why you need to bring feminism into this – unless you’re saying that feminism benefits men too by dismantling traditional gender roles.