Jamilla Rosdahl reminds us that no boy or man can ever uphold all requirements of masculinity.
By Jamilla Rosdahl, University of the Sunshine Coast
So far, much of the media response to the spree killing that took place in Isla Vista, California, late last week has focused on the sole perpetrator of the attacks, 22-year-old Elliot Rodger. His rantings, where he eviscerates women and promises retribution, are available on YouTube for the world to see.
Mass shootings are becoming increasingly common in the United States and at a glance they appear to be random acts of violence. In explaining the perpetrator’s act, the media often focuses on the individual’s psychology. References are sometimes made to mental illnesses such as Asperger’s syndrome or depression, or a failure to treat these illnesses through medication.
But we continue to miss one crucial, much larger social factor: these crimes are almost always committed by men. What’s more, many of these men are well-spoken, white, educated and many are heterosexual.
Prior to the shootings, Rodger wrote in a chilling “manifesto”, since posted online, that he was going to kill all the blonde and beautiful girls because they had rejected him sexually:
Women have more power in human society than they deserve … There is no creature more evil and depraved than the human female. If I can’t have them, no one will.
Police are examining Rodger’s disturbing online messages, where he spoke about his revenge as retribution for the loneliness and pain he felt because “girls … had never been attracted to me”.
In his writings, Rodger also spoke of years of being bullied. He described himself as a dork who no-one liked and he was jealous of other guys with good looks and blond hair. He also felt physically inferior because he was shorter and less muscular than other guys.
As he became increasingly withdrawn, Rodger’s rage towards women grew:
If I can’t have you girls, I will destroy you … I’ll take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you. You will finally see that I am in truth the superior one, the true alpha male.
Dangerous and narrowing definitions of masculinity are seeping into men’s lives, impacting on how some young men compare themselves with other men and this has negative effects on how they experience life. Rodger’s manifesto read:
There were two groups of cool popular kids … they all seemed so confident and aggressive. I felt so intimidated by them and I hated them for it but I had to increase my standing with them. They were obnoxious jerks and yet somehow it was these boys who all the girls flocked to. They flock to the alpha males … to the boys who appear to have the most power and status.
But no boy or man can ever uphold all requirements of masculinity because masculinity isn’t real. In some men, hegemonic masculinity generates a sense of wronged entitlement that can lead to violence. Social theorists such as Michael Kimmel explain this as a process that makes some men routinely feel as there is no other way out other than violence. Kimmel argued this is:
…a gendered emotion, a fusion of that humiliating loss of manhood and the moral obligation and entitlement to get it back.
When feelings such as these aren’t dealt with and when no other option appears available, mass killings and often suicide can result.
Rodger clearly articulated a sense of what Kimmel calls “aggrieved entitlement”. In his videos he made numerous references to his expensive taste, glasses, clothes and car. He couldn’t understand why these powerful attributes weren’t appealing to girls.
A cumulative effect of images and ideas from advertisements, fashion, movies, peers, video games and men’s magazines creates the belief that masculinity must be important and real. Rodger writes extensively about how he became obsessed with feeling inferior. It was only when he was playing video games like Halo that he felt a sense of belonging.
Unrealistic images of idealised sexual bodies (often expressed and reinforced via social media sites such as Facebook) create further problems, generating a population of young people who potentially become identity-focused, insecure and anxious.
With rising pressures on young men to be competitive – both physically and sexually – it isn’t surprising that we are seeing increased violence and brutality by men.
Men are bombarded with sexist and altered media images that portray women as oversexualised, youthful, blonde, slender, beautiful and alluring creatures. This leaves no room for alternative interpretations. As a result, men are trained to objectify women. It can also make some men fear women because men are told by society that they should be able to attract a woman.
When men, like Rodger, don’t get the attention they believe they deserve, they experience rejection as failure. This can lead to social isolation, depression and anger. For Rodger, his sense of failure as a man resulted in increased hatred towards women.
What is alarming is that Rodger is not the only man who experienced feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness around women. Rodger has followers on YouTube and some even agree with his declarations.
Heterosexual masculinity – that a “real” man is muscular, dominant, sexy, authoritative and all women should fall at his feet – limits men’s capacity to live fulfilling and creative lives. Ideas about how a man should act leak into men’s psyches and shape what they think love, sex and romance should look like.
Some men are drowning in ideas of masculinity, leaving them anxious and angry. This stops men like Rodger from seeing women as intelligent equals. Dominant masculinity doesn’t teach men how to deal with deeper emotions, empathise or show vulnerability.
It’s time to provide better tools for young men. Let’s begin by providing healthier and alternative ideas about maleness before more innocent people are hurt or killed.
Jamilla Rosdahl does not work for, consult to, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has no relevant affiliations.
This article was originally published on The Conversation.
Read the original article.
Stop which part Esther? Clarity is a virtue. And the liberal notion of doing away with guns is a childish and simplistic idea. A few crazies get guns so ban all from having the ability to protect onesrlf if you choose. I can guarantee if you were in this situation, unarmed, and someone with a carry permit pulled and stopped this situation you’d be forever grateful even with a full load loosened in your pants. Don’t be so smug about having all the answers.
I won’t debate overall about gun control as it’s a loaded topic.
The fact that the first 3 dead where stabbed (IIRC) has to have some bearing as to contributing factor, and weather it should be discussed at all. I’m not sure either way in this case if it would have stopped any violence. Perhaps stopped some I suppose???
The majority of child homicide and child abuse is committed by women, almost always their mother, and far exceeds the number of deaths that come out of these shooting sprees. Why is no one is crying out for a rethink of traditional femininity? Why do we attribute these crimes to the individual women that commit them but want to attribute crimes done by men to the whole sex, all 3.5 billion of us. Once again this unnamed author is callously using a tragedy for their sexist political agenda. htey don’t care in the slightest about rhe 3 men and 2… Read more »
Stop. Just stop.
1. Because it’s not a trace of traditional femininity. At all. If you think it is, prove it. Show us the groups/communities filled with women, online or not, that keep encouraging one another to abuse and kill children, keep talking about how it should not be considered THAT bad, et cetera. Do it. 2. Because it is the crime committed by an individual. 3. People are talking about the culture. We can find PLENTY of groups filled with men hating women online. I’m not even American and know plenty of them. And the number of men who follow and agree… Read more »
The majority of child homicide and child abuse is committed by women, almost always their mother, and far exceeds the number of deaths that come out of these shooting sprees. Why is no one is crying out for a rethink of traditional femininity? Why do we attribute these crimes to the individual women that commit them but want to attribute crimes done by men to the whole sex, all 3.5 billion of us. Once again this unnamed author is callously using a tragedy for their sexist political agenda. This generalisation to all men is nothing more than the perpetration of… Read more »
People know more mothers than fathers kill their children under 5 years of age because women have much more contact with kids than men. If the contact was even, it would be more men killing children under 5, naturally. Even so, child sexual abuse still is committed overwhelmingly by men… interesting.
People are blaming the culture.
@Wellokaythen: I don’t think you realize how common Rodger’s hateful rhetoric is. He was a member of multiple forum communities, like PUAHate, full of men who objectify and denigrate women. These men are angry and often threaten to rape and kill women. Rodger acted out a horrible fantasy that an alarming number of young men share, some of whom have already started lionizing him for his actions. If we want to stop copycats before they start, we better not write him off as a lone madman. Most people wouldn’t claim a White Supremacist acted out of paranoia in a vacuum,… Read more »
A few things I’ve learned in more than 40 years on this planet:
1) Jerks and Jocks are sexy for a good reason. They set and follow their own agenda, and they are ‘successful’ (as defined by Rodgers) because they do not lose sight of their goals.
2) Neediness is a turn off to both genders. He was needy.
3) Generally speaking, “More guns, more problems”. Why is it America continues to allow any and everyone to get their hands guns is a mystery and a damn disgrace.
He was probably a rampage waiting to happen, and his feeling rejected by women was the excuse, not the cause. Paranoids will always find something to rage against, whether the ideas are delusional or not. If he had more success dating women, he probably still would have snapped someday.
We cannot stop people from having mental illness all together. We can change toxic cultural messages that they receive which may exacerbate the intensity of that illness. Blaming it all on someone being a nut is just a way of advocating for complacency and inaction.
That is the core of the issue justin. Complacency and inaction, which many on the left, particularly on the far left commonly participate. But they are really good with hi falutin theories and words of wisdom for all. Well said.
He was not paranoid wellokay. He was misogynistic to the max, which then filled him with rage against one particular source. To him they were the sole cause of his unhappiness, and the more he brooded on it the stronger it wove into his mind, which by then had become delusional. This article was well written thay took a holistic approach as to how some men get that way. It’s not one thing that will do it, but a simple message endlessly repeated in various subtext. But the message is subliminally clear-you as a man aren’t cutting it. He clearly… Read more »