Katherine Klaus lists fifteen reasons men should be downright enthusiastic about the feminist movement.
As someone once said when they were misquoting Field of Dreams, “If you build it, they will come”. In my experience this is true, if by “build it” you mean “write anything about women on the Internet” and by “come” you mean “post sexist and regressive comments”. While my commenters are mostly respectful and awesome, the same cannot be said for certain of those at The Age or news.com.au, or indeed any site that has a wider readership than mine. While I’m no stranger to the internet and get that trolls will be trolls, I’m still genuinely puzzled by many of the average men who seem actually threatened by talk of feminism, apparently concluding that women, at best, are unfairly competing with them for jobs, or at worst, intend to usurp their place in society completely.
It seems to me that while we’re pretty good at letting women know about the benefits of feminism, a lot of these arguments are being lost on, or ignored by, some guys who seem to think our movement doesn’t affect them, or worse, is out to subjugate and disenfranchise them.
May I present, then, 15 upsides of feminism – for dudes. (And no, not one of them is ‘basic fairness’, although you can have that as a bonus #16 if you want.)
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At work
#1. Did you know that the minimum wage for men was originally set with reference to the fact that he was expected to support a wife and three children? That sounds like a lot of responsibility and stress. With equal pay resulting from feminism, your partner can support herself, and together you could have six children, or, more likely, buy a plasma screen!
#2. Hate opening doors for people, or standing awkwardly at the front of the lift while you wait for the women from the back (always so slow in their high heels) to exit? Feminism says you don’t have to because we’re all generally able to handle the strength of a door. I open doors when it’s convenient for others, and I’m grateful when others hold it open for me. With feminism, courtesy can be a thing for both/all sexes.
#3. With feminism, you earned that promotion by being the best person for the job, not because of societal oppression of others. Hello to a clear conscience! And getting the best people for the job is better for business, which is ultimately better for keeping you employed, or so the capitalists tell me.
#4. More women in the workplace means more of them to check out, while being treated as equals means the ladies may be checking you out too, instead of worrying that a lecherous boss is going to feel them up in the lift.
#5. Don’t want to work? Feminism says that your partner can be the breadwinner while you embrace your inner domestic god.
In the world at large
#6. Feminism doesn’t buy into the silly gender stereotyping of alcoholic drinks, so go ahead and buy that pink cocktail with an umbrella that you have always secretly wanted to try.
#7. Sick of men being normalised as nonstop horndogs (oh god, how dated does that sound) who will sleep with anything in a skirt? In an equal society, your sexuality has no bearing on your perceived “manliness”, whether you are gay, straight, bi, questioning, lacking libido or any combination of the above.
#8. Ever been denied entry to a bar because they “need” more women, even though you’re just trying to have a drink with your friends? When women aren’t used as a tool to sell more drinks, bouncers won’t be tools to you.
#9. As friend of the blog Jacky puts it, “The patriarchy is bad for EVERYONE – men, women and children. It robs women of their autonomy and humanity; devalues the lives and wellbeing of men; and places unnecessary stress on everyone in the process.” With feminism, it’s cool for you to be whoever you want to be, without having to try and perform your gender “correctly” 100% of the time. (That sound you can hear is a collective sigh of relief from every dude who doesn’t know how to change a tyre.)
In sex & relationships & everything in between
#10. Women who don’t believe in feminism can be so frustrating to date, amirite? While they may make the effort to look stunning on dates, they also have this idea that they need to be treated like princesses, which largely translates to “spend a lot of money on me and you might get laid”. Given, pre-marriage, these women often earn much the same as you, this might seem unfair. Feminists, on the other hand, will split the bill with you (or take turns paying) and will sleep with you when they god damn feels like it, not because you’ve approached some magical monetary figure. And this could very well be on the first date/a one night stand, because (sex-positive) feminists understand that sex isn’t shameful, or a transaction, or somehow devalues them.
#11. Feminism means better relationships for all – as proven by science! (via)
#12. Do you find your girlfriend sexy as hell, but find your mates are dicks about it because she doesn’t look like (Google’s “sexiest woman on earth”) Miranda Kerr? Maybe she complains about her looks, too, and whines that no one could ever find her attractive. Not only does that make you seem like a terrible judge of partner, but it means you have to have sex with the lights off. With feminism, your mates and your girlfriend would be exposed to a more diverse range of shapes and colours and levels of hairiness and even, god forbid, personality traits that are portrayed as “attractive”, giving your woman lights-on confidence, and stopping your mates from trying to make you feel as if your attraction to non-Miranda Kerrs is abnormal.
#13. A feminist girlfriend will go buy beers for both of you at a soccer match (see above re: not needing to be treated like a princess) and you will be the envy of other soccer-goers. (This has actually happened.)
#14. She will also teach herself the offside rule while you get to concentrate on the game.
#15. Finally, even if you’re a more traditional guy who wants his wife to stay at home, and have dinner on the table when you get there, you can still have that. It’s just with feminism, you’ll be able to find a woman who actually wants to do it, instead of one who resentfully does so because she wasn’t allowed to be an astronaut.
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So there you have it, a bunch of little reasons why feminism can make men’s lives more awesome. Sure, none of them are as groundbreaking as the movement can be for women, but I hope you will take away that feminism doesn’t hate you and won’t actually bring about the end of your sex life/career advancement/bro-ness as you know it. Turns out, when everyone gets treated like people, everyone wins.
RESULT: Come over to the dark side. Actually, we’re definitely the Jedi, but regardless, you should come over because this side has drinks and I’m buying.
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This article originally ran at Can Be Bitter.
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What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
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Stock photo ID:1181383139
Feminism is great in Theory just like Marxism/Communism.
Sadly, it is biased in practical.
“To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.” -– Valerie Solanas. ‘Inspirational’ feminist. BEWARE guys.
Well this is what happens when you write having a giggling audience in mind. Many points are just too damn boring common places that we’ve heard a bazillion times, some reflections are OK, but in general this is a crowd pleaser article. A bit chauvinistic a bit hipster a bit nice a bit dumb, appealing to everyone, right? Not me. Well I’m neither a hard core feminist not a Stepford wife wannabe, I just appreciate good writing and smart thinking, this makes an OK reading while queuing for the loo.
These supposed perks of feminism are just plain awful. I do believe in the premise—that feminism (or certain brands of it anyway) are or can be good for men—but this serves mostly to disprove that. It tears down roles for men and women which, believe it or not, are important, not because one gender is better than the other but because men *do* need a place in society. Men feel threatened because they feel their role has been usurped. This brand of feminism on display here does do that. Men *are* needed in society, but not in the brand of… Read more »
Very funny list. I’ll take a serious reason as to why I’m a feminist though. It is because of my 6 year old daughter. I want her to have the same opportunities that my boys have. Also, right or wrong I want her to make her own decisions that impact her life.
You realize your boys are in more danger of violence right, and if they live in the U.S have to sign up for selective service? Many may cough at that idea thinking there won’t be another conscription but the one constant thing in the world’s history is war, big, bad, brutal war which has forced many men into conflict. Your daughter has some areas where her life is better than that of a man, your boys don’t share the same opportunities she is afforded.
Well said. Violence is always touted as a ‘woman’s issue’. Fact remains if you are a male and young, you will be kicked to sh*t several times in your life.
I refused to buy a drink for a person in a club and he decided to punch me in the stomach a few times when I was 18. I was scared shit-less even though I was twice his size and could easily put him in hospital or the morgue, yet because I am so big people expect me to be far less afraid. A punch still fucking hurts, I still had fear of whether he had a weapon, still had fear that I’d get my ass kicked. I’ve seen plenty of big fellas like me taken down by smaller people.… Read more »
15 Reasons Feminism is actually good for men too – A response from an Equalist. At work 1. Did you know that the minimum wage for men was originally set with reference to the fact that he was expected to support a wife and three children? That sounds like a lot of responsibility and stress. With equal pay resulting from feminism, your partner can support herself, and together you could have six children, or, more likely, buy a plasma screen! False: We are all actually getting paid less because both parents are expected to work and support 2.5 kids without… Read more »
The problem is that feminist theory might research the destructive gender roles for men, but when this gets applied as feminist advocacy in a “boots on the ground” sense feminist advocacy actually dovetails with a very tradcon perspective. Tradcons seem to believe that help for women is okay because they believe women are weaker. Women only benefits are doled out in a condescending manner as a parent would to shutup a child. Feminists believe that help for women is necessary because women are more often disprivileged (but, the advocates ignore a lot of feminist theory and research to arrive at… Read more »
@ John. – You make some interesting points , which I fear some will simply see as strident. It is a limitation of language in written form that using Jargon requires people to understand the meaning exactly or they are too often mislead – and they go off in their own direction. Jargon that gets people thinking they know the meaning, but which needs study and careful consideration to understand – a few examples: 1) Prison Reform – does that mean making it easier on the cons, or making it tougher and paying a financial dividend? It’s that often deliberately… Read more »
Wow, long response mediahound. Very insightful, thanks for your response. My question to you is this: Your statement that very vocal pundits often mask underlying issues I accept at face value. I’m assuming you’re tying this to my linked story of the assault of Daddy Justice by Ms. Jacobs. However, mixed in with this is going to be people who have faced oppression and are justifiably angry and upset at the double-standards they are laboring under. I would say this was the position of a lot of feminists in the 60’s. It is now the position of a lot of… Read more »
Your statement that very vocal pundits often mask underlying issues I accept at face value. I’m assuming you’re tying this to my linked story of the assault of Daddy Justice by Ms. Jacobs. One aspect can be seen in the Daddy Justice case, but far more worrying and fare more significant is how Wild Uncontrolled Tropes flapping about on banners cause people to go to the uncritical default position of knowing all about the subject and reacting accordingly. A rather good example has been about for over 20 years – a UK advert for the Guardian Newspaper. Have a look.… Read more »
You have to remember that the MRM is still in it’s infancy. The idea that men are vulnerable and/or victims is VERY counter-intuitive. A lot of what the MRM is going to need to do is consciousness raising. The overwhelming majority of men (and women) don’t know, don’t care, or don’t care to know that many more men suffer from certain societal ills than do women. Radical feminists have a 40 year jump on setting the frame of the debate. And there message is that “men have all the power”. They’ve been pointing to the 80-90% lock of politicians and… Read more »
“#11. Feminism means better relationships for all – as proven by science!” This just sounds weird. ” Among the findings: College-age women who reported having feminist male partners also reported higher quality relationships that were more stable than couples involving non-feminist male partners. College guys who were themselves feminists and had feminist partners reported more equality in their relationships. ” So college age women had better (quality) and more stable relationships, but college age men had more equality, but not necessarily better or more stable relationships. I guess that could mean guys benefited, but only if he used to get… Read more »
I love this article! I agree with all fifteen points you made. But I think why so many men don’t like feminism is not because we feel threatened and afraid losing jobs. The reason sometimes I don’t like feminism is just because sometimes I don’t like the way they talk ( and generalizing ) about men. And they think the way they said “majority of men” not ” all of men” somehow will make it us feel less hurt. Its still generalization, and I still see many feminist generalizing men. Again, I’m not against feminism. Instead I like feminist like… Read more »
Collin – I’m not sure that you need to make it about “…ways feminism has been detrimental to men..”. “…ways feminism has been detrimental.[PERIOD]” would be too hard for some to grasp – consider – deal with. For some Feminism is so 60’s it’s Teflon Coated – nothing is allowed to stick to it! Recently I was asked for an example of how Feminism had ever, ever could or ever could have had a negative effect upon anyone. I raised the issue of “Political Lesbianism” – how it promoted sexuality as a “”Choice”” – There was no such thing as… Read more »
I even raised Slutwalk and how it was seen as negative and even pejorative by Black Women and Black Feminists … and to that I was told that Slutwalk was not about feminism or even organised by feminists – Just Students. (Where Is The Smilie For Face Palm when you really need it). I have wondered at how the students involved would react to being thrown out of the F group because they were not old enough or had not passed the requisite exams? I’m still unable to obtain an explanation as to why students are exclude from feminism –… Read more »
… I find it quite interesting that the racial aspect you brought up here got nowhere near the amount of attention from feminists as the praising. Danny – I don’t find it interesting just highly and even shamefully predictable. In many ways it is the most bizarrely back peddled issue I have ever seen. There was a great deal of confusion that anyone should say “Hold On There” – because there was an already defended and entrenched position that anyone objecting had to be male or not with the feminist program. Don’t forget how the Slutwalk meme was linked to… Read more »
How much you want to bet that an article about 15 ways feminism has been detrimental to men would NEVER be published here. I’d consider writing it, but I wouldn’t want to waste the effort.
How would you be able to limit it to just 15 things? How do you decide what makes the cut?
How do you decide what makes the cut?
Hell it’s testy enough round here without raising the Circumcision Issue.P^)
Was that testy or teste? 🙂
Eh – the old ones are the best ones! … but I’m sure that it is testy given the crotchety, misanthropic, tetchy, cantankerous, ornery, peevish and irascible bunch you find round here – and that’s just the Dwarves. P^)
I’d gladly forego those 15 things if you’ll take feminism with you.
17) Has provided crowning theoretical jewels such as Patriarchy and Privilege theory and shown us how a thoroughly oppressive system such as Patriarchy can be utterly subverted, and not just that, can be made to fund and support another political system designed to destroy it. A Trojan horse like no other! 18) Has alerted all to the fact that there is an epidemic of gay men sexually assaulting straight women. 19) Has provided multiple canons of postmodern theory hijacked from male French philosophers. 20) Has alerted all to the fact that “women are people too” and reshaped the thinking of… Read more »
Do please elaborate on #17…in your view, how do you define patriarchy and privilege theory, who’s is being oppressed, how is it subverted, and what other political system is it funding?
..and #20 is a choice statement to…
Do tell us more…
Yikes…need to use more emoticons
Please re-read with your sarcasm device turned on
Yeah I wasn’t sure if you were being sarcastic or real.
whoops sorry, given the topic -it can be hard to separate sarcasm from an actual assertion without the formal use of 🙂
I’m most worried about how one hijacks a canon – sarcastically or other wise. Give some folks Irony and they forge it into weapons – but what the hell happens with canon?
Is this some kind of meta-irony, are are we genuinely confusing canon with cannon? This is the most confusing thread ever, -we need proper use of smiley faces people 🙂
Oh my – give um Irony they forge weapons – what the hell do you get with meta-irony? Poe’s Law – Proof of?
As for confusing canon with cannon, it does depend on which one you view as most incendiary and most likely to provoke blasts and ballistics. … and if you cross the two it’s worse. You just get a well armed militant who uses scribbles to justify anything, except their own demise.
16) Helped introduce misandrist implementations of domestic violence law which has harmed male victims, left them and female perpetrators without adequate support. Things like the Duluth model cause a huge problem with this I believe.
I didn’t realize till the end (damn, I am getting old) that this was poking fun at those that say Feminism is good for Men. I thought this was a serious article (of sorts)
I saw the Picture chosen to illustrate this piece and was struck by how it makes so many assumptions that can be so very wrong. “Danger – Educated Woman Inside” Since when has eduction been a measure of insight, knowledge, lack of prejudice, humanitarian nature … etc? So Danger is a warning – and the educated woman is to be seen as dangerous? What happens if you take that educated women and put her in a Burkha? Will the magical educational status suddenly protect her from the Crass Stupidity of some who will start chunnering over 9/11 and Ground Zero?… Read more »
ok….
This was a good topic to actually look seriously at how gender stereotypes and gender discriminations hurt everyone, men and women, instead the one point that touched on this was lost in a barrage of naff ‘humour’ and shallow points. What was expected from writing/publishing this article? Are men supposed to click their heels with joy that they don’t have to open doors? And yeah, I agree with Archy, nothing like sending a movement back five years with a healthy dose of hypocrisy. Hey Good Men Project, if you want to feature a female writer, there are plenty of good… Read more »
So positive generalizations of what feminism brought men is ok, does that mean it’s ok to negatively generalize about what negatives feminism has brought men?
That’d make you a dangerous misogynist, Archy!
I’ve tended to only date liberal, pro-feminist women, and (though this is anecdotal) none of them were particularly pro-men. They fought for abortion, yes, they were concerned about domestic violence, yes, but they still viewed men as inherent sexual threats, expected me to pay for dates (and not just any place, but someplace “nice”), regarded most men’s issues as a result of our biological inferiority, had no problem saying things like “female sexuality is superior to men’s”, and so on. Even as they maintained that “feminism is for everybody”, they attacked men’s issues whenever they came up and steadfastly supported… Read more »
“#1. Did you know that the minimum wage for men was originally set with reference to the fact that he was expected to support a wife and three children? That sounds like a lot of responsibility and stress. With equal pay resulting from feminism, your partner can support herself, and together you could have six children, or, more likely, buy a plasma screen!” Minimum wage and average wages have actually decreased in today’s dollars compared to 40 years ago, as the rich got way richer, and the poor got poorer. The middle class got a bit poorer, not richer. Hence… Read more »
Hence getting women into the workplace was a victory for capitalism, not feminism.
… and when you look at not just Capitalism but Consumerism … and how production costs are cut by shifting production oversees to developing countries, is it the men or the women… or rather is it the adults or the children who end up with the long working days and low wages? Some of course will puff up chests and proudly waffle on about child labour laws and protection. They do like doing that. I would just ask do they know the child labour law age in the country where their purchases were made – and exactly how would they… Read more »
I think many anti-feminist criticism of the movement is its purely gynocentric social criticism of gender roles. Under feminism, the gender dichotomy is framed in terms more appropriate for racial apartheid, where a clear power group extracts wealth from a subjugated group. With the feminist framework, gender equity is narrowly examined by comparing the well-being of women with respect to the well-being of men. Because however, the gender binary is not like racial oppression and does not seek to offer one gender monotonic benefits at the expense of the other, feminism invariably reduces gender analysis to specific “issues” that fit… Read more »
Well said!
That is a fantastic point. I wholeheartedly agree. Elsewhere, you can find some commentators stating that the worst thing about modern feminism, is men trying to be involved. This is even more of a sign that we need to reframe gender discourse. Let’s bring it!
I think there’s a deeper thing that feminism has done for men; and I think it’s something that not all feminists have quite understood. There’s a long-standing tradition in feminism of reading patriarchy as a male conspiracy to control women. And I’ve no doubt that from women’s perspective it works out exactly as if there were a male conspiracy to control women. But men don’t, in fact, have any interest in men *as a class* dominating women *as a class*. What any violent, aggressive, or controlling man is trying to do is *monopolize* women’s bodies at the *expense* of other… Read more »
Hate opening doors for people, or standing awkwardly at the front of the lift while you wait for the women from the back (always so slow in their high heels) to exit? Feminism says you don’t have to because we’re all generally able to handle the strength of a door. I open doors when it’s convenient for others, and I’m grateful when others hold it open for me. With feminism, courtesy can be a thing for both/all sexes. Honestly, I have a hard time assessing where feminists as a whole stand on this. On the one hand, some feminists such… Read more »
The point of feminism’s take on traditional gender roles is not to abolish them completely. It is, instead, to prevent them from being the default or required way of life. So instead of saying every man needs to pay for dates or open doors and every woman must aspire to be a housewife, the culture would say do what you want regardless of your gender. So a feminist can be entirely without hypocrisy when he or she says I don’t want one gender to HAVE to pay for dates, but it would be nice if my date could sometimes offer… Read more »
Could you define, what you mean by “feminism”?
As I understand the common usage of this terms, it means something like:
Movement for the advancement of “women’s rights”. With “women’s rights” not being universally defined, but be whatever this particular person believes it to be. Obviously my definition is very wide and allows many contradicting positions to claim the label feminist.