Katie Baker is sick of the whistles. Guys, if you really want to get a pretty girl’s attention, here’s what you should say.
Hey, sexy mama! How’d you get so fine?
Jesus, look at those legs.
I’m used to ignoring the terms of endearment yelled at me by strange men on the street. Like most women I know, I treat street harassment like unpleasant weather—a common occurrence I silently endure by drawing my coat tighter around my body and walking briskly ahead with a stiff neck. But, thanks to this piece, I’d been promising myself I’d take the plunge for weeks, and on this particular day I finally snapped.
“I want to know why you think it’s OK to talk to me like that,” I heard my five-foot-two, small-boned self saying in a voice I wished was less shaky.
“I just appreciate a beautiful woman,” the man said back with a smile.
“OK,” I said, “if you appreciate me, you can tell me I’m beautiful in a respectful way. But you’re treating me like I’m not a human being. No woman likes that, and it doesn’t make me feel beautiful.”
The man looked confused. “I’m really, really sorry,” he said. “I have sisters, and I understand where you’re coming from.”
After a few more seemingly genuine apologies I walked away. I was pleased, slightly cynical (could I really have gotten through to this man in less than 30 seconds?), but most of all shocked that this was my first time talking back to a street harasser. I consider myself a feminist, and am widely known as someone who’s never afraid to speak her mind. Why, then, am I inherently hard-wired to ignore every whistle, lip smack, or holler?
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Some men may wonder why I care so much, why I let street harassment get to me. Maybe you think I’m overreacting by lecturing strangers who only want to compliment me, after all. “I’d be thrilled if a woman on the street told me I was sexy,” a male friend once said to me after I expressed my frustration.
I’m happy to address those questions (and will, later on)—and I understand that it can be difficult to understand how threatening a seemingly harmless “Smile, beautiful!” can feel—but let’s get one thing straight. Go ask any woman in your life whom you respect—mother, sister, cousin, lover, or friend—how it makes her feel when she’s loudly and publicly objectified, the recipient of obscene comments like “suck my cock,” or followed down the street. I promise you that it doesn’t make her feel good or beautiful or respected.
Street harassment has a negative effect on us all. No single man wants the actions of a few to be attributed to his entire gender, but studies show that male harassers impact victims’ perception and reaction to men in general. Still, most street harassers aren’t “bad men”—they don’t fully realize why their actions are hurtful or disrespectful to the female population. Sometimes they don’t even realize they are harassing women at all.
That’s why it won’t end until both men and women start engaging with harassers.
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New York City lawmakers are considering an official catcalling ban, but I’m not sure how successful that could be. Is it really possible to prevent people from talking or calling out to others on the street? More importantly, do we want it to be? While passive objectification can be just as hurtful as the aggressive kind, monitoring it can be much more complicated.
Hollaback!, a group “dedicated to ending street harassment using mobile technology,” encourages women to, well, “holla back” by sharing stories and photos using social media. Hollaback! is a wonderful movement, and definitely a step in the right direction in terms of drawing attention to the cause. But it can only be so effective when the harasser has no idea he’s being “hollered back” at.
I believe reacting online is an approach too detached to make a significant impact. The more I safely challenge my harassers—and see how they almost always step down—the more I realize that we can’t depend on lawmakers or our cell phones to do all of the work for us. So I have a radical idea: Instead of thinking of all street harassers solely as criminals who deserve penalization and public ridicule, we need to communicate with them about how it feels to be the target of their actions.
I know some will be angry with me (hi, Mom) for proposing what may seem like a dangerous idea. Confronting street harassers is not always possible in every situation or for everyone. To be sure, it’s a very bad idea to engage with those who have truly harmful intentions, and if even a small part of you feels threatened, you should walk away.
But (according to Hollaback!, interestingly enough) studies show that those who “respond assertively” to harassment are less vulnerable. It’s possible—if your harasser or leerer seems more ignorant than dangerous, and you’re in a well-lit area with people nearby—to succinctly and calmly explain why certain actions are disrespectful.
I want to challenge all good men to step up. Men, please say something when you witness street harassment, even if the harassers are your coworkers or friends. I’m not saying all men are responsible for their street harassing ilk, but they owe it to the women they respect to set an example and encourage others to do the same.
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In Platus’ Mercator, written around 200 B.C., Demipho turns away the beautiful slave girl bought for his mother by his son Charinus. “She is hardly the proper sort of person,” says Demipho. “Why not?” asks Charinus (who is secretly in love with the girl, as is—naturally—his father). “Because it would cause scandal if such a beauty were the attendant of a wife and mother,” Demipho replies. “When she passes through the streets all the men would look at her, leer, nod and wink and whistle.”
This is the first known recording of a form of bullying that, thousands of years later, the vast majority of women experience on a regular basis. Today it has evolved into a variety of behaviors, often arranged by severity from physical contact and verbal abuse to stares and whistles. Other forms include exposing, picture-taking, groping, masturbating, threatening, intimidating, stalking, and attention-seeking behavior like flattering and honking.
As a woman, I’ve experienced almost all of these variations more than once. There’s no doubt that some street harassers are more dangerous than others; gropers, for example, trump picture-takers any day. But I’m not as interested in discussing why rapists, stalkers, or “dick-flashers” do what they do. I’m more intrigued by the watchers and callers.
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In Beth A. Quinn’s workplace-focused study, “Sexual Harassment and Masculinity: The Power and Meaning of ‘Girl Watching,’” she notes that “no man discussed girl watching in initial accounts of his workplace”:
I suspect that they did not consider it to be relevant to a discussion of their average workday, even though it became apparent that it was an integral daily activity for some groups of men.
It not only shows how second-nature street harassment is to some men—hello, it’s been going on since at least 200 B.C.—but how it often isn’t about the interchangeable female targets as much as it is about male bonding, defining one’s own masculinity, or collectively—even if subconsciously—asserting men’s inherent physical power over women.
“As embarrassing as this is to admit, I feel like the main reason my friends and I objectify women is to let each other know that we’re straight,” a male friend of mine told me. Later, a man I confronted on the street told me I was his “dream girl” and asked me to let him prove himself to me in more obscene terms. “This is just what guys do,” he said. “We’re just joking around. No offense!”
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Let’s take a look at the etymological origins of the most common slang terms for street harassment. While “wolf-whistle” does have a predatory connotation—wolves have been symbols of male lust since the Elizabethan era, and the specific use of wolf for “sexually aggressive male” was first recorded in the mid-1800s—most other terms are more similar to “girl watching” in the sense that they are not as much aggressive as they are critical or male-exclusive.
For example, the first documented “catcallers” were theatergoers in the 1700s who whistled and jeered to express disapproval for actors or actions onstage. It wasn’t until the 20th century that the word took on a sexual meaning, but the basic idea is the same: the catcaller’s right to vocally judge the catcallee. He’s an audience member expected to give feedback to a performance.
“Hubba hubba” caught on during World War II when Marine Harry H. Miller used the phrase—commonly used at his military camp to mean “double time” or “hurry up”—to draw his friend’s attention to a group of beautiful women, using a term “he knew only his buddy would understand.”
Catcallers and hubba-hubba-ers aren’t, for the most part, women-haters. They catcall because they’re taught by their elders, peers, and effectively by the women that ignore them that street harassment is a fun, inoffensive social activity. For centuries, more or less well meaning men have gleaned that it’s acceptable, even funny.
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Am I saying men should never talk to women in public? No, not at all.
There’s a huge difference between harassing a woman and trying to start a conversation. Here are some tips: talk to her, not at her. Treat her with respect: be aware of her personal space, ask her how she’s doing or what she’s reading instead of commenting on her body parts, look at her face instead of her chest. If she ignores you, drops eye contact, or walks away, back off. It wasn’t rude of you to approach her, but she’s not being rude if she doesn’t want to keep talking to you, especially if you initiated conversation while she was running an errand, waiting for the bus, or on her computer at a coffee shop.
Let’s say you’re not interested in having an actual conversation, but just want to let a woman know she’s beautiful. Go ahead, it’s a free country; just do it respectfully. Don’t be threatening, don’t make animal sounds, don’t follow her. Most women I know wouldn’t be offended if someone told her she was looking great or had gorgeous hair or a beautiful smile. But don’t expect the woman in question to feel the same way, and don’t act aggressive if she rejects your advances.
Studies suggest that 80 to 100 percent of all women face at least occasional unwanted, harassing attention in public places from men they do not know.
Many men (like my friend, quoted above) insist they’d be “thrilled” to be shouted at on the street. So why don’t women feel flattered? Because we live with the threat of rape—the knowledge that one in every six American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Even if a man has “innocent” intentions when he yells “Hey sexy!” at a woman, he has a good chance of making her feel uncomfortable, angry, or frightened. She’s likely to automatically connect the moment with other negative street harassment experiences she’s had—or, worse, with memories of more serious assault.
When a woman catcalls a man, it’s far more likely to be considered “charming” or “flattering” because there’s usually no chance that the woman could force the man into a dangerous situation by sheer physical force or intimidation.
Men: would you find it complimentary if it were commonplace for other men to yell out “I’d like to take that home with me” or “Why the sad face? I’ll give you something to smile about” while following you down the street? Men who could, hypothetically, force you to go home with them if they wanted? Think about it. I suspect most of you would feel uncomfortable, threatened, even scared.
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What about the most passive of street harassers, the ones who don’t say anything outwardly insulting or objectifying—or maybe don’t say anything at all? They’re harder to confront without feeling like an asshole. I had a cold last week, and one morning stumbled and sneezed my way to the supermarket in pajamas and a messy bun to get some soup. I was reaching for the Campbells when I turned around and nearly bumped into a man who was standing less than an inch away from me, staring at me intently. “You are so beautiful,” he said, feet firmly planted in my personal space. “Why aren’t you smiling?” I had to literally step around him and make my way down another aisle before he stopped leering at me.
Afterward, I was furious—not just because of the way that man made me feel, but because I’m honestly unsure if it’s OK to feel such anger in similar situations. The man didn’t say anything objectifying, make any animal sounds, or gesture at me inappropriately. But even if he didn’t catcall me, so to speak, he made me feel like I was on stage—and, especially in my sniffling state (and trust me, although this is somewhat irrelevant, I did not look my best), I was resentful that I was made to feel intimidated when all I wanted was a can of soup.
Plus, why should I have to smile? In a post expressing her own frustration with being hit on while running errands, blogger Almie Rose laments that “as women, we’re subliminally taught to be polite under duress. Because if we say no, or reject any sort of advance even if we do it kindly, we’re labeled a bitch.” It’s true: many women I know say a “smile, beautiful!” frustrates them more than an obscene come-on. It all comes back to the same point: woman aren’t performing for you.
What about the women, like “Subway Badass” Nicola Briggs, who respond creatively to street harassers? Briggs became a folk hero for frustrated women everywhere when a video of her yelling at a guy for “dickflashing” her on the subway recently went viral. In 2008, an Israeli tourist became so fed up with construction-worker catcallers while visiting New Zealand that she actually stripped in front of them in exasperation.
Frustratingly, society tends to punish, not congratulate, those who speak up. Briggs hated the fact that TV stations blurred her face when airing her video—it gave “the wrong message to women” by making her into a victim instead of a victor. The Israeli woman was similarly victim-shamed when told by police that her behavior was “inappropriate”—”She’s not an unattractive looking lady,” one policeman told the press—while her catcallers probably enjoyed the best workday of their lives.
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The bottom line is to treat others with respect. If you approach a woman, be aware of her personal boundaries and talk to her as if she is a person, not a sex object. If she’s clearly disinterested, know when to back away. And, for God’s sake, don’t whistle. She is not a farm animal.
I’m loath to say that respect works both ways in these situations—it’s hard to treat street harassers kindly. (If I were confronted by someone who clearly has serious issues—like Briggs’ flasher—I’d go ahead and yell my head off.) But I’ve personally found that speaking calmly and clearly is more constructive than yelling (which, trust me, I’ve also done).
These days, when I’m harassed and feel that I’m in a safe enough situation to communicate with my harasser, I think about Platus’ slave girl. I remember that I have just as much a right to go about my day without being harassed as does anyone else. And I remember that unless I do engage, nothing will change. Should we have to explain why “I’d like a piece of that” is demeaning? No—but if we make a habit of it, fewer will need the lesson.
—Photo Ed Yourdon/Flickr
I have always found interesting the “I would love it if done to me” arguement from most men, specially how they react when a gay man or an ugly woman does it to them. They asume that such comments would come from beautiful women begging for their attention. For a moment look at the men who do this behavior, and now place them in drag. Yeah, that’s the female counterpart. I am a man, and I have delt with this in my younger days. It is not amusing. In my teen years, I went to an All-Girl school for an… Read more »
What are you talking about?; “The vast majority of women” do not experience catcalling “on a regular basis.”
I wish I was “catcalled” but men are not seen as such nor are they seen worth the effort.
Personally, I have a bigger problem with men who either get into my personal space or follow me than those who catcall from a safe distance. I’m not fond of catcalling for the simple reason that I don’t like loud noises or people (of any gender) involving me in any capacity while making an ass of themselves. However, I don’t usually find the behavior threatening so long as it’s from a reasonable distance. I think most everyone, regardless of gender, would feel somewhat threatened if a stranger who is much stronger than them get into their personal space.
“Guys, if you really want to get a pretty girl’s attention, here’s what you should say.”
So I read this through, only it doesn’t say.
One of the most empowering things I ever did was drop the finger to a bloke cat calling me as he drove past. I used to freeze, or smile nervously, or ignore it. But by letting the guy know he was being inappropriate and I wasn’t happy with him, the cat calling wasn’t so scary any more. Communicating displeasure when it’s inappropriate makes me feel much less vulnerable, and more able to respond to positive attention. A guy saying ‘I like your smile’ or complimenting an outfit, in a respectful way, especially if they’re not doing the ogle, and if… Read more »
”Let’s say you’re not interested in having an actual conversation, but just want to let a woman know she’s beautiful. Go ahead, it’s a free country; just do it respectfully. Don’t be threatening, don’t make animal sounds.” Or, here’s another idea: keep your thoughts to YOURSELF! I really, really, don’t need a guy to come up to me and disrupt my day, even if just for a few seconds, just to tell me what he thinks of my appearance. I’m not interested. One of the causes behind street harassment is the lack of respect we have for women’s personal space.… Read more »
A good man’s guide to catcalling: THOU SHALT NOT. Once upon a time I was transporting a mildy troubled younger man (I was mid-20s, he was very early 20s) to whom I and my church group had been ministering. (That’s evangelicalese for lending a helping hand with a dose of gospel mixed in.) This guy had terrible attitudes toward women, far beyond what can be ascribed to his troubled state, much of which was self reinforced if not actually self created. Neither my feminist aquaintances, nor my good old fashioned conservative self, could deal with it. I tried to get… Read more »
HAHAHAHA. I want you to take a trip to Latin America. Then we’ll talk. This article has made me realize the difference in points of view of women in America vs. in Latin America.
I will admit though that there are times when you’re just not in the mood for a comment. The article has some credibility. I think we women should “fight back” (whatever that means) by hitting on men.
I’m Brazilian and I have the same pov as the article. What did you mean by your comment? That we Latian American women would enjoy this horrible behaviour? Most men I know also hate other men that act like this.
I’ve been catcalled on a couple of occasions. The first, I was honked at as I was walking to a bus stop, and then the guy yelled out something like “Nice ass”. It scared me more than anything – I, like many women, have been told of the dangers of being raped or assaulted, and then having a strange man comment in a very forward and sexual way about me immediately makes me assume he is a potential rapist. And I don’t like this because it taints my view of men. I like men and I want to like men.… Read more »
There’s this man who stand on a street corner that I often pass by, selling newspapers for the local homeless community. Every time I go by, he asks if I’d like to buy a newspaper and then tells me that I either have a beautiful smile or that he likes my outfit or something. When he does this, it is non-threatening and makes my day. He first addresses me as a regular human being, and then pays me a compliment. He makes eye contact with me the entire time, such that when he does toss out the compliments about my… Read more »
He was blind the whole time.
Without trying to judge what other people should or shouldn’t find offensive, I can say that some types of out-of-the-blue comments don’t bother me. Basically, don’t be crude (you don’t know me well enough to have that right), make sure it sounds like an observation and not a proposition, and don’t ask/tell me to do something non-sexual like smiling either – it may seem more innocuous, but it’s really annoying. If you blurted out something like “You’re beautiful” or “Nice hair” and left it at that, I’d be flattered.
I’m glad you said that D. I like to give compliments and I will sometimes say “That’s a pretty dress” or “You have a nice smile” as I pass a pretty girl on the street who catches my eye. It makes me feel good to give a compliment and I hope that the lady feels the same way to receive it. I often say this as I pass by with no expectation other than that the compliment is heard and hopefully brightens someone’s day. Sometimes they smile back or say thank you, and sometimes I am ignored. Sometimes they might… Read more »
The most troubling part of this article is the aside that “(although this is somewhat irrelevant, I did not look my best)” upon being harassed by the man in the supermarket. You were especially put off by this man judging your attractiveness at a time when you did not feel you should have to bear his scrutiny. But this itself evidences a deeper problem: there is no time when such scrutiny (and the attendant catcalls) is ever appropriate. Yet your statement implicitly acknowledges a performative aspect to your everyday appearance. Normally, you do expect to be judged and catcalled-at, and… Read more »
I for one play it safe and just don’t approach women. Too easy to offend or get yourself into trouble, if you ask me.
On a somewhat related note, I was catcalled for the first time in my life the other day. I’ll spare the details about what I was doing at work, but it involved me in a cage on a forklift, in a position that emphasized my ass. Several of my female associates, watching me, started shouting about how nice my ass looked, etc. To say the least, it was pleasant.
Is “The Good Men Project” designed by women to tell men how to act? It certainly seems so.
Comment sections make a fun juxtaposition to the issue of flirting vs. harassment. Just as harassers will claim they were just flirting, trolls will claim they were just looking for a respectful debate. An issue like this is going to attract them because all men are brutes the same way all women are sneaks. Compliment something she has done, not something she has. Try to imagine a girl complimenting your father’s wealth. Doesn’t make you feel like a Man, does it? That said, I can empathize with fear of being raped by any of these men. Can women empathize with… Read more »
“Compliment something she has done, not something she has. Try to imagine a girl complimenting your father’s wealth. Doesn’t make you feel like a Man, does it?”
I regularly hear “nice car” used as an opening line from woman. As to complimenting your fathers wealth, that would be like approaching a girl and telling her how beautiful her mother is…
No. Women are never rejected by anyone. Sounds like you are rationalizing male violence against women here.
Rage? No, I don’t know of many women who feel rage at being rejected. But I do know of many women who feel frustration, who have low self esteem, who believe they will end up alone, and that they aren’t good looking enough.
I’m not sure I understand why rage is the appropriate response to repeated rejection.
What women fail to accept and realize is that catcalls, whistles, and sexual comments from strangers on the streets are just free speech. All that should be socially and legally acceptable in a free society unless you start by banning sexy clothing on women. Yes, most women are quick to stand up against “sexual harassment” but no woman ever says anything about the sexual harassment women do to men when going out dressing sexy. Why doesn’t anyone say anything about this? Why do women have the right to dress anyway they like while men have no right to say anything… Read more »
It also means women shouldn’t have to grin and bear it. If you have the right to be a jackass, they have the right to call you a jackass.
I see men going out shirtless (more scandalous than just “sexy”) all the time and I never harassed them because of their choice. It’s about them, not me. Women and men have the right to dress anyway they like and be respected for this. A free society teaches it’s members to be educated and show respect for each of it’s members. Not all free speech is a good coice, it’s about good sense and empathy. I don’t think catcalling females or males would be a good choice, more like invasion. But if you still choose to do this and they… Read more »
“Weak chumps” is just a metaphor for “beta” right? Noticing someone attractive and admitting to them that that is what drew you = treating them like a person. Defining them by their attractiveness (i.e. “Hey Beautiful!”) = crap. Sometimes you will approach someone who just found out their dentist is charging them $500 for a root canal and doesn’t really want to talk. That person might treat you poorly that one time, and it sucks for you, but life happens. Since I highly doubt that your experience is some massive statistical anomaly and you just happen to always approach people… Read more »
“Noticing someone attractive and admitting to them that that is what drew you = treating them like a person. Defining them by their attractiveness (i.e. “Hey Beautiful!”) = crap.” Katie baker disagrees with you: “I hate when a man “starts a conversation” with me by telling me I’m beautiful, because it makes me feel like I’m being judged solely on my appearance.” She doesn’t care how respectfully it is done, simply doing it is unacceptable to her. notice she say’s “telling me I’m beautiful”… not “Hey beautiful” This is what several of us have been trying to say, each woman… Read more »
and weak chump is a metaphor for omega male. the bottom rung… the nerd male among high-school cheerleaders.
This was a great article. Thanks for it! It seems that street harassment is somewhat regional. We don’t get much in the Bay Area, thankfully. For the “guide for guys who want to talk to the ladies”: simple. Treat women like people! We get that you possibly find us attractive (trust me, we find you attractive too!) and might want to see if you have a chance at something. It’s easy, walk up and say “Hi my name is Joe, I saw you and thought you’re cute/pretty and just wanted to take a chance and ask if you might be… Read more »
“Hi my name is Joe, I saw you and thought you’re cute/pretty and just wanted to take a chance and ask if you might be interested in this awesome concert / coffee/ whatever…”
There have already been some women on this thread who have said the “I think you’re cute/pretty” part is insulting. So the questions is, just how respectful do we have to be before we’re going too far and just looking like weak chumps?
As another commenter mentioned, there are two issues here. One is of street bullying. Usually it’s groups of men making inappropriate comments as women pass by. The other version is undesirable flirtation, when guys who don’t appeal to you hit on you, especially when they aren’t very good at it. First I’ll discuss the street bullying… (my response to the second issue can be found above, as a response to the first comment made by daddy files “It not only shows how second-nature street harassment is to some men—hello, it’s been going on since at least 200 B.C.—but how it… Read more »
Typical arrogant woman complaining about being complimented at every turn by people who don’t get to spend their lives in those amazing bodies. Stop treating men like shit, try complimenting them instead.
More misandrist drivel from the feminist “good men project.” Vomit.
Most people find it more constructive to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.
Perfectly done Sarah!
I’m sorry, it’s not just a “small group of men”; it may not be all men, but I bet that many, many men have done something similar to this at some point. And if they haven’t, they’ve certainly walked by it happening to a woman and done nothing. When I lived in NYC I took to confronting my harassers (and it is harassment). I would sometimes double-back and follow men back down the street asking them how they would feel if someone did that to their mother or their sister. What I found was that there was something about speaking… Read more »
“Men, if you don’t want to be lumped into this group, then I have some advice for you:1) raise your sons not to objectify women; and 2) when you see something, say something!” 1: Family courts are making that progressively more and more difficult to accomplish. Women themselves also make that difficult, as the behaviour is effective often enough to make it continually a viable options. The phrase, nice guys finish last, and the cliché “women like a bad boy” don’t exist for no reason. 2: Even if the women being spoken to finds it appealing? as my own anecdot,… Read more »
apparently I come from a different planet than Demos and Savfire. They pretend they don’t know what you’re talking about. I can tell you I knew exactly what you are talking about since I was six years old. Any men who wants a woman to provide him with the always sure winner pick-up line is a cripple you should run away from with all deliberate speed. Also any woman who would marry a man who walks up cold and offers a fuck in so many words is settling for a pretty poor choice. I am and have always been ready… Read more »
Jim…as I said, there is nothing wrong with taking specific people to task for their behavior. I know that there are men and women who engage in unsociable and rude behavior. And it is up to us as individuals to check that behavior and present by example the behavior we want to see in others. But that’s not what is going on here. If the article author called upon us as individuals to stand up and demonstrate proper courtesy, then I would be all over this article and would be screaming its praises from the rooftops. I live my life… Read more »
Demo,
Did you even read the article? My main point is that PEOPLE need to speak back to harassers, not solely men. I focus on women, if anything: the piece is mainly about my experience speaking back to men and how I believe all woman should try to do so when they feel they safely can. I also say I don’t think legislation is the way to go, so I have no idea what you’re going on about. Try reading the piece before getting defensive about a point that no one is arguing.
Katie, I’m responding not just to you, but also to the movement that your article supports. We obviously agree that catcalling is rude and inconsiderate behavior. But then, I have to ask why is this “A Good Man’s Guide to Catcalling?” The title of your article alone, places the onus of this behavior on so-called “good men.” I insist that this is an individual problem and should be dealt with by individuals. You word this otherwise: “I want to challenge all good men to step up. Men, please say something when you witness street harassment, even if the harassers are… Read more »
Couldn’t have said it better… not even close. But to add to your assertion that this article is about unwanted attention, each of Ms bakers personal anecdote’s are exactly that, instances of a man displaying unwanted attention towards her, once in a subway (she felt safe enough to stand up to him, so clearly not an empty one), and once in a supermarket. In both cases, the “perpetrator” may have been socially awkward or inept, or perhaps just a lower class of person from ms baker, but none of them were even cat-callers, and certainly not harmful men.
As another note, the title of this article seems as though it’s content would at some point provide constructive tips on the immensely difficult task of approaching a woman you’d like to meet. Imagine the surprise when readers find that, as Demosthenes XXI correctly notes, they’re being taken to task for the actions of a small group of men. I’m honestly a little surprised you have as much of a problem with catcalling as you allege, considering your apparently hostile attitude, sour disposition, and the ease with which you collectively blame ‘Men’ for both the problem and for not being… Read more »
Thank you. That was my initial thought, but got lost in addressing the article that was there (rather then the article implied)
Sour disposition with street harassment and being hostile with rude catcallers? How could one be different?
She said men could also help, didn’t blame “MEN” for anything. Women can also help, themselves and other women.