Good Porn and Evil Do-Gooders? Good and Its Many Shades of Gray

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About Roger L. Durham

Roger L. Durham is an ordained Presbyterian minister, a former business owner, and is currently working as a client development manager for Summit Energy.

Comments

  1. Tom Matlack says:

    Roger thank you for this thoughtful piece and for you continued friendship.

  2. One of my issues is how much we keep focusing on porn. Shouldn’t we be looking at real human interaction and sex rather than an industry that is purely based around making as much money as possible? Have we all gotten so porn obsessed (on both sides of the debate) that we’ve actually stopped talking about real sex and lost ourselves to a capitalist industry? Whatever your views are on porn, pro or anti, for whatever reasons, we all have them, i really do feel we’ve gotten so far removed from sex it’s crazy. Let’s talk about the act of sex, of pleasing another human being, of satisfying someone else, not just ourselves for a change? No money involved, no abuse, no objectification, not sitting in front of our computers and masturbating etc etc, but real SEX!!! It would be a refreshing change and perhaps a shift in thinking that is long over due. I’m so bored of porn and the constant bombardment of it everyone we turn, for MANY reasons. Isn’t everyone else??!! ;)

    • Lou, you have some really good points. I think there are probaly a number of readers of this site who are agnostic about porn, if not bored by conversation about it. I would count myself as one of those. But for others, it is an important topic, for a number of reasons. So, to be authentic, to be real, there has to be room for conversation about porn, alongside discussions about other topics that are important to others. Thanks for weighing in on this. I hope you find some articles on this site that come closer to the treatment of sex that you would find appealing.

  3. Henry Vandenburgh says:

    I decided to do at least a month without using porn. This is a sacrifice because I am on Effexor, which made it difficult to ejaculate without extra stimulation, so I’d often need to masturbate after sex with my wife. I’m not missing the porn, though. Masturbation worked without the porn sometimes, but it was a good guaranteeor…

  4. I agree with the concept of a porn diet. But while we are at it lets do a TV, radio, newspaper and internet diet. If we do I am sure we will all be happier, saner, smarter and wiser.

  5. Objectification is not an absolute negative. The idea that it is inherently bad to “objectify” someone is ridiculous, yet amazingly common. If I go jogging without a shirt and a woman shouts something approving, there’s no way to deny that’s inherently objectifying. She’s not responding to me as a person, certainly. So how do I react? I’m pretty happy with it. She’s pretty happy with it. What’s the problem?

    The stigma associated with objectification is based on a context in which objectification is used as a tool of dehumanization in a system that oppresses the objectified. The problem isn’t the objectification itself. The problem is objectification in the context of patriarchy. Porn may be inherently objectifying, it certainly isn’t inherently dehumanizing OR inherently patriarchal.

    The idea that women in porn are being “exploited” is about as misogynistic as anything I can think of. It infantilizes women and perpetuates conceptions of women as sexually vulnerable and men as sexually threatening, the same BS stereotypes that come into play when female sex offenders are treated more lightly than men.

    Are male pornstars being exploited? No? Gay male porn stars? If not, why not?

    It really comes down to whether you see women as weak, and in need of being protected from male sexuality, a position shared by both misogynists and anti-sex feminists.

  6. Unca Woofie says:

    Every business is based in large part (if not “purely”) on making as much money as it can; look around you…one of the top reasons for the #Occupy movement is that too many businesses, large and small, have followed the “make as much as you can” philosophy to the point where the American Dream has been hijacked & the country is filling up with empty houses, wrecked savings, service-sector jobs that don’t pay worth a damn, and last but not least, college graduates so deep in debt just to get their education in the lousiest job market since the 1930′s.

    Using the “money-grubbing” paradigm as an admonishment concerning dirty, bad, nasty ole porn is naive.

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