Emmy Award-winning actress Cady McClain offers a raw, insightful look at the dark underbelly of Hollywood—its brutal objectification of women.
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Los Angeles can turn you into many things. Among them: A desperate 42-year-old “cut-to-look-like-Jessica-Chastain” ex-model turned “actor/director” all hopped up on injections, festooned with obvious hair extensions, known for crashing publicity events to which she hasn’t been invited.
She also regularly has photos of herself in a bikini taken. Right now I’m looking at one where she’s spread-eagled on the sand with a little mound of earth covering the only thing she doesn’t want us to see.
In her desperate desire to please, to never grow old, to stay media relevant, to remain “employable in L.A.” … she drives herself to be something she isn’t: young, successful, and “hot” as defined by show business.
I’m struggling. And before you ask: The picture above this article isn’t her. It’s me.
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I was first exposed to this woman’s photos as they were in a mass e-mail from Image Collect—a photo-sharing site I sometimes use to purchase pictures for articles I’m writing. When I saw her pictures, I immediately recognized something very disturbing: a nightmare-ish version of myself.
I was first exposed to this woman’s photos as they were in a mass e-mail from Image Collect—a photo-sharing site I sometimes use to purchase pictures for articles I’m writing. When I saw the featured photo, I immediately recognized something very disturbing: a nightmare-ish version of myself.
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Trust me, I have nothing against a woman’s right to show herself sexually, get plastic surgery, or seek attention. Like her, I am an “actor/director.” I’ve directed two short films (both of which have accepted into festivals) and won awards for my work as an actor. I’ve survived being a child actor to having a long adult career. Yet despite the recognition of my artistic merit, I now feel a keen pressure to accommodate the media machine. Last year I even took a photo of myself in a bikini (my first public one ever since I was 16, when I wore tights under my suit), but I also did so again recently—a busty shot of me looking saucily at the camera. My friends applauded my 45-year-old courage and said “You look great!” but I feel torn about it. On the one hand, fashion wunderkind Sophia Amoroso says that “selfies” are “the” new way to show self-respect; on the other hand, I really did it for the same calculated reason as this woman, to get attention from my social media followers so I could remain relevant as an actor.
I hear the voices in my own head that say, “Hey, it was your choice. No one held a gun to her head or yours,” and I would agree absolutely. Yes, you’re right. I hear you, but my real question is this: What drives a person to this level of attention seeking?
Why do I feel I need to keep posting photos of myself on social media? It certainly doesn’t sum me up as a person. I have worked really hard to reach a level of ability in my profession … and I have a life outside it that doesn’t suck either. However, this woman doesn’t seem to be pursuing a career that is based upon her ability. She seems to be pursuing a career based upon how much attention she can get, like a modern day equivalent of the Los Angeles ‘80’s icon Angelyne. Why do women like this exist? Does she exist within me? Perhaps, like me, she was withheld encouragement at a vital age and now she strives to fill the void. It could also simply be that she is trying to exist as something larger, something that mostly exists within the world of show business: a “star.”
I am not writing this to judge her or to “hate on” her. Every person I know who needs an audience to buy their product is now being told that they must submit to doing whatever it takes on social media in order to get attention in order to sell that product. This gal is only trying to hustle what she has to make a living. I do the same thing.
No, I am writing this because I suspect that the main difference between this woman and myself, media-wise, is that deep down I am aware that what I am doing is subtly compromising something important in myself. And I am suffering because of it. I am suffering because I am objectifying myself in order to sell my art, and because I am being told that I have no choice. That if I want to have a career I have to objectify myself.
Yet I am resisting the endless chanting of self-proclaimed “social media experts” that I have to be this submissive to the machine. I have a choice … and this woman, and all women, have a choice, too. Bikini selfies—when used as a desperate grab at power instead of something personal, casual, and fun shared with friends and loved ones—come with a price tag that only the subject of the photograph can truly appreciate.
I know we can all feel desperate at times. Full of fear. Aching for recognition or respect. But hopefully there is a moment when we realize that there is a line in the sand we must not cross, that we must not compromise ourselves in ways that will feel shameful. People who inherently understand their own limits are happier people, I think. They understand that sometimes they have to let go of a goal if achieving it compromises their self-respect.
Today the media makes a blood sport out of what happens when a person makes a compromise one time too often, the tragic “train wrecks” of human carnage created by years of doing so. We shouldn’t be surprised that self-objectification often ends up with people addicted to the surgery that promises a return of youth, booze, pills, drugs, bad relationships, eating, spending … the list of ways to numb oneself is endless. Then addiction becomes a perpetual loop: you keep participating in a shameful action and then drink to numb the fact of what you did. Again, I’m not here to point fingers or judge. There were years when a drink after a particular work experience was the only way to wash away the creeping feeling of shame. I get it.
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But there is another reason so many actors and “celebrities” and people who put them selves out there in the public eye become addicts:
The criticism of those who try is ruthless, and it’s not just the criticism of the public. It’s criticism that can exist within the hallways and backrooms of your own job.
Today the media makes a blood sport out of what happens when a person makes a compromise one time too often, the tragic “train wrecks” of human carnage created by years of doing so. We shouldn’t be surprised that self-objectification often ends up with people addicted to the surgery that promises a return of youth, booze, pills, drugs, bad relationships, eating, spending … the list of ways to numb oneself is endless.
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For example: because of my interest in directing, I’ve luckily been able to sit in various television control rooms to watch the process of shooting. There, I’ve overheard directors and producers speak with complete contempt for the actors with whom they are working. We aren’t talking about fair or reasonable criticism of young actors who needed to go back to class and learn their craft. The people being mocked and ridiculed were hardworking, experienced, adult actors. Actors who may have had their issues, who may have been a bit too insecure on a certain level, but most people in the arts know some emotional sensitivities can come with the territory. In my opinion these actors certainly didn’t deserve contempt. Patience, yes. Contempt, no.
Then there is the age issue. It’s almost a joke how ruthless anyone (show business or not) can be to a man or woman over an age deemed by some random idiot as “the limit.” When I was 28 years old and had a lead role in a film at the Hampton International Film Festival, a film that was one of five nominated for the highest honor, I was asked my age by some guy standing next to me at a party, a guy whose only credit in his brief life was that of the director of one short film. When I told him my age he said, “Oh then it’s too late for you to make it in films. It’s over.”
Really? At 28?
Now it’s one thing for the general audience to have a bitchy opinion, but when my colleagues and those who have the power to make decisions in show business rule any actor out at any age, when they mock us, objectify, and over-sexualize us, when they reward those who continue to seek attention in a desperate manner and minimize the hard efforts of those who seek reward based on merit, they send a continuous and painful message:
“Your worth is not in your ability. Your worth to us is measured in your ability to generate attention that we can make money off of. Your job is to be a product, and your greatest value to us will be when you become a train wreck for TMZ or some other hack site to capitalize on. Why? Because everyone stops to look at a train wreck.”
I experienced this phenomenon myself when a certain media TV show boiled my memoirs, “Murdering My Youth,” (a book that took me five painful years to write) down to it’s most salacious moment. In fact it almost followed the formula of a well known news channel edict, “if it bleeds it leads.” I was interviewed for over an hour and my life story got summed up as, “Daddy molested me and I’m all f-ed up about it.” Where were all the insights I gave on the other issues the book touched on? Has TV become as desperate as an aging actress? Is this what we as an audience are going to be subjected to as we proceed into a future that seems to promise an overload of media entertainment and news sources? Endless tortured women, dead children, and drug addicts? “Forensic Files” on 24/7 rotation?
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In conclusion, if there is one lesson I got out of seeing the photos of this exposed woman, it is a realization that I don’t want to play this tragic game of “look at me” any more. Even if audiences are shrinking and there is less money out there I am and have been for a long time (and I don’t think I am alone) interested in a deeper conversation. If I am desperate for anything, it is that.
Ironic PS: You can follow me on Twitter at @cadymcclain.
More GMP focusing on women instead of men. Why does this website not take the problems that men face more seriously?
Professional athletes have an issue with age and harmful practices (taking pain killers or performance enhancing drugs) to extend their careers. I wanted to point out one particular athlete, Michael Jordan. In his youth he could jump over people to clear his shot. As he got older, he couldn’t get the elevation so he reinvented his game. He developed a turn around / fade away jumper, which achieved the same goal of separation. I believe something similar was said of Phil Niekro (It may have been another pitcher though. That was many years ago). He had average stuff so he… Read more »
Men are objectified and held to impossible physical standards … I don’t see many fat ugly Hollywood men … and when I turn on the TV there is a stream of muscular chiselled men on the screen.
But that said, I think that women are more objectified than men and that society is out of balance. There should be more focus on women’s brains and hearts than their bodies.
I think there is a growing pressure on men to look more like Chantum Tatum than Jack Black. But, there are way more over-weight Hollywood men that are popular and beloved then women. And as soon as a woman gains weight, she’s on teh chopping block in a way that just doens’t happen to men. Also, there are many roles for older men in Hollywood while their female contemporiaries are pushed out for younger co-staring female leads. Seriously, most of the time, the male lead is pretty much always older than the woman. Though I don’t argue that there is… Read more »
Erin,
You truly have no clue what the lives of men are like. Not everything is harder for women.
You can always tell the men on here who hate women. My husband would agree with me on that, he knows how it is. Try sympathizing with woman and loving them and not hating them and then maybe you won’t be single and bitter.
I’ve seen plenty of men who are sexist, hate women, treat women like shit, and are dating/married to women. Hating women doesn’t really stop some men from dating some women.
Well written and accurate, though you may have under stressed the main point:You compromised your own sense of integrity.
Never do that. That other woman may not have your sense of integrity.That’s on her.
But you never sell yourself out for anything ever.
I think it is interesting when people choose a career path that generally excludes people who aren’t extremely attractive and then are surprised when attractive people slide in to replace them as they age. I understand that there are exceptions to this, but for the most part, everyone on TV or in movies is extremely attractive. If she wants to have a career, she doesn’t HAVE to objectify herself, but if she wants to have a career in an extremely small field in which only a very few have an opportunity to succeed, and even fewer actually succeed, she might… Read more »
“I think it is interesting when people choose a career path that generally excludes people who aren’t extremely attractive and then are surprised when attractive people slide in to replace them as they age.” Very relevant observation there Jester- Of course, when one is convinced that they are clearly and cleanly disadvantaged by gender, and thus, at the mercy of those who would discriminate by it, one then would not be apt to garner much sympathy by drawing attention to alternate groupings, collectivizations, or configurations of power where they themselves were empowered and thus apt to be the discriminators, and… Read more »
Bless you Cady you speak the truth.
“Women are sugar and spice and everything nice.” Sorry folks, that old adage is seriously false. Hollywood objectifies women? No, dear. Women objectify women. If sex appeal is your one skill… Women: (1) Hold the majority of US wealth (60%). (2) Are the majority of high school, undergrad and graduate student graduates. (3) Collect 98% of alimony and child support. (4) Collect the majority of federal payouts for SS, Medicare, health, education and welfare. (5) Represent a tiny fraction of suicides, work place and combat deaths when compared to men. (6) Pay cheaper health care costs than men in relation… Read more »
Hi The Truth
I am more than willing to read the research report ( a recent and reliable one) that show us that women own 60% of the wealth in US in 2015.
I think he might be referring to household spending where women spend more money, usually because women are in charge of the family finances more often. Pretty sure the majority of U.S wealth is with a majority male, minority female group of 1%’ers.
The Truth yes I think you may be ritght, that the wealthy women are widows…. I read online that it US it it women 50+ that has this wealth and that mean NOT “women” in any age group. And as long as many men prefer to marry women 10-20-30 years their juniors , and we know men with money often do so,then the result will be that men die and wife lives on, and old women with money is one of the reasons why women on paper have more wealth in some age groups. But is it a problem that… Read more »
I think it’s easy for the opposite gender to downplay their privileges and accentuate their struggles. The truth is, you don’t know what it’s like to be a woman, and I don’t know what it’s like to be a man. I do know that more man are jailed in America than women, that women do receive child support, and that we are outdoing men in education. However, I also know that women make up the majority of rape and sexual assault victims, that women are more likely to raise children on their own, and that women are struggling to obtain… Read more »
“We will soon be the breadwinners, and you can sit back and relish in our accomplishments.”
…Because of course women aren’t more likely to divorce a man who makes less money than she does, or anything.
The Truth …. you get a big thumbs up with me.
Actually, more women live in poverty than men, across all ethnic groups, even white women. And actually The Truth, you’re own information actually supports this. Who else would collect more welfare but the group of people that were more likely to be in poverty? Typically, women especially are left with children to support while the father steps out on them. The percentage of rich windowed women is not as big as the percentage of women living in poverty. Especially young women and older women. The reason women fall into these traps can be found in this article: https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/report/2008/10/08/5103/the-straight-facts-on-women-in-poverty/ And yes,… Read more »
Men are more objectified in the media than women, so can’t really care about this.
Not a helpful attitude. Media sucks for both genders bigtime, and we need to work together to fix it.
Well said. Let’s not get into a competition over who’s more oppressed. We liberate all the genders together, or none. Not out of some abstract notion of fairness, but because it’s not going to work any other way.
How on earth do you reach that conclusion? Are you trolling?
Avern, it’s not that you *can’t* care about it, it’s that you simply don’t want to care about what women face in the world. Lets be very clear about that distinction because it’s more honest for you to outright say you could care less about women vs creating a language as if something or someone else is stopping you from caring about women. The only one who is stopping you from caring about women and their objectification is you. Don’t blame some unknown entity for your inability to have empathy for another group of people. Because whether you care to… Read more »