Trey Malone took his own life in in June 2012. His last wish was that his voice finally be heard and listened to.
Editor’s note: We want to open this article with a warning: we are reprinting, in full, the suicide note left by a young man named Trey Malone, who killed himself when he was unable to cope any longer with the sexual assault he had suffered as a student at Amherst College. To say it might be triggering for those sensitive to issues of suicide and sexual assault is an understatement.
Trey’s family support the publication of his final words. They have provided the text of the note to us, and we are publishing it with their approval. More importantly, we are publishing it because it was written to educate. In his last words, Trey speaks of important issues that go unexamined, important voices that go unheard. He writes to a society that, in the end, couldn’t help him enough. He wanted the things he was saying to be heard, and so, in accordance with that wish, we are publishing his words.
♦◊♦
I suppose, in a lot of ways, this was how it was meant to end. The water tried to take me once and I’m drawn back to this day. Especially on a day like today.
There is a certain sense of irony involved in choosing to end my life in the one thing that’s always pushing forward. Even in this awful polluted bay, the water licks the seaweed and barnacle-covered pieces of rock. There’s some tortured metaphor in everything isn’t there?
When I was in elementary school, I often wondered if I’d get to be like Dad. I spent hours imagining my own reconstructed version of those stories. Initially, the base of these dreams was King Arthur. Endeared by months spent on that bed reading back and forth with mom, then it turned to Zelda, a black and white Gameboy game. The landmarks of St. Maarten all became transplants from that 2” by 2” screen. By the end of 2nd grade, however, it became your stories dad. All those years reading and imagining developed into that one strong fanciful King Arthur of New York. There is a special level of humility to all those tales. The triumphs and failings of a damaged man, certainly no less broken than the rest of us, but human, none the less.
My dreams and hopes have shifted since then, but that base has always been there. King Malone in the Volvo P1800 (with the broken headlights). These days, I’ve become more tired of remembering the past and wondering about the future. I’ve slowly watched that future collapse in on itself whether by my own actions or those of others and now I’m simply tired. My future is rubble and while below that rubble, there is still a foundation, my arms are weak and my tools are broken. My job is gone, relationships strained, and mugshot posted. Entropy is a funny thing I suppose. A house of stone may take a millennia to collapse, but it will collapse. Unfortunately, it would appear the imaginary building blocks of my future were far less sturdy.
Even absent that natural collapse, the sexual assault was too much. There was no adequate form of preparation available for that and no repair afterwards. What began as an earnest effort to help on the part of Amherst, became an emotionless hand washing. In those places I should’ve received help, I saw none. I suppose there are many possible reasons for this. But in the end, I’m still here and so too is that night. I hold no ill will nor do I place an iota of blame upon my family. I blame a society that remains unwilling to address sexual assault and rape. One that pays some object form of lip service to the idea of sexual crimes while working its hardest to marginalize its victims. One where the first question a college president can pose to me, regarding my own assault is, “Have you handled your drinking problem?”
My story is far from exceptional in this regard. Every two minutes there is another victim. 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. 1 in every 6 woman in the US has been a victim of rape and 1 in 33 men. Despite this, every awful myth about rape persists. Society will continue to blame women for the clothes they wear (despite hard evidence showing no link) and continue to say, “You shouldn’t have been there” when 73% of rapes are committed by non strangers and more than 50% take place within one mile of the victims home. (4 in 10 take place at their home) Sexual crime is viewed as inconsequential unless the fabled “dark alley with a gun” assault occurs and even then, women face the eternal, “why were you there? What were you wearing?” badgering.
To hear men and women speak of our culture as some Feminazi PC nightmare is embarrassing. To act as though we are not to be held accountable for our words and language is even worse. Free speech has never nor will it ever mean immunity from criticism. Words and languages have meaning. If you don’t think what you say or how you phrase it matters, look up Frank Luntz. The next time you carelessly use the N-word or any other derogatory term, the next time you call some man a bitch or a pussy, try to think about the repercussions of casual slurs. If you’re angry about political correctness or whatever other worthless phrase you feel is necessary, ask yourself why you feel not only entitled to the usage of slurs but compelled to. Read some real freaking feminist literature and stop listening to Rush Limbaugh too. “Feminism is for Everybody” by bell hooks is a good start.
Sorry I ranted a bit, but please have someone read the last two paragraphs to whomever comes to say goodbye. I love all of you and I know this will hurt you more than anything else I could have done, but I’m tired and the water looks beautiful. Pithy a statement as it may be, “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” is certainly accurate. I’d take my own advice, but I stopped listening nine months and six days ago.
Mom, I’m sure you will blame yourself for any number of things, but I want you to know it is not nor was it ever your fault. If it were not for you, dad, Dan, Callan, and everyone else, I never would have lasted this long. I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you. Please go to Costa Rica. You deserve every minute of it. Besides, I hear they pack your lunch for you in heaven.
Dad, I imagine this will hit you the hardest . I want you to know that I still have that dream. Even if I’ll never get to see it. Please take care of your health. Callan will need you and so will everyone else. I love you dad.
Dan, Sorry about the $300. I’d pay you back if I could. You were right about most of the things you told me and I’m sorry that you’ll have to buy a ticket down as well. Take a break please. Find some way to spend time with everyone. I love you I’m sorry.
Callan, What happened over the last week has nothing to do with this, if nothing else, it was one helluva way to end it. Please study and work, You’re every bit as capable as I ever was. You can finish what I couldn’t. Spend the time you need to, please get A’s. I always wanted to name a son after dad and if you could for me, I’d be thankful. You are by no means required or even expected to. Do what you want to. Pet the dog too, she’s very nice. I love you Callan. You’re a beautiful girl and going to be a stunning woman. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Listen to dad and write down his stories cause I never could.
Sheng, Sorry I fell out of touch dude. You’re a great guy and I’m sorry that I’ll miss the parties. Make them count for me and even if it annoys you, try to take some Women and genders study classes. Tell nick I say hey (or bye I guess) as well. I’m not drunk enough to rant about politics right now, sorry. Either way, it meant more than you will ever know that you were such a good friend to me when I got back to Amherst.
Nathan- Freshman, you’re far too nice for your own good. No one dude, should be so willing to listen and talk. Sorry that I can’t give you the full story now, but I imagine the police report is funny as hell. Keep reading and do something important. Do me a favor and tell Sara Simonsson that my fake ID came in as well.
Everyone else, I’m sorry, my hand is falling off. If we were friends, remember me for at least a week or so. Please listen to what I said about sexual assault. There are millions more just like me that need help and no, someone who is drunk cannot give consent, fuckers.
Remember me however you’d like. I hope it’s a positive memory. If not, I swear to god I will haunt you. I don’t know how that works, but I figure I’ll have plenty of time to figure it out. Lead a good life, everyone.
The water looks beautiful.
♦◊♦
Thomas Francis Malone, III (Trey)
December 19, 1991 – June 17, 2012
Trey was born on St. Eustatius, Netherland Antilles. He spent his first 7 years swimming in the sea on St. Eustatius and St. Maarten. In 1999, he moved with his family to Sarasota, Florida and joined The Out-of-Door Academy community. Trey was the Valedictorian of the ODA class of 2009. An avid musician, he played the violin in the orchestra and in all of the spring musicals. As a varsity athlete, he competed as a member of the Varsity Swimming, Soccer, and Track teams. In 2009, his 4x800m relay placed 8th in the State track meet. He attended Amherst College. He was known for his wit, his intelligence, his ease, his thoughtfulness, and his kindness. For this, he will be missed by all.
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If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK
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Related Posts:
Trey’s Mom on Why She Published the Letter
Trey’s Grandfather Speaks Out on the Lack of Campus Leadership
GMP Founder on the Ethics of Publishing a Suicide Note
An Amherst Student on Saying Good-Bye to Trey
Project Unspoken: Emory University Students Respond
David Foster Wallace’s “Water” speech at Kenyon College
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About the Editors
Thank you to the family for publishing this note. This is a subject that is far to hidden in our society. As a child I was sexually abused by my step-father. As I grew into a young man, I dealt with the chaos of my broken life and broken relationships by delving deeply into drugs and alcohol. When I could go no further I too took the permanent solution to a temporary problem. After 25 each Prozac, Ambien, and Adavan, followed a Prayer “God, I am finished. Do with me as you wish.” I woke up three days later in ICU. It was at that point I knew God had something else in store for my life. It is now, after reading this, I know I have not shared my story enough. Prayers from my family to yours and all other victims still hidden in the darkness.
The Heritage that is handed to you is not necessarily the Legacy you have to leave behind…
Richard……that was a beautiful response to Trey’s published letter. I am proud of you for seeing God’s “wake-up” gift to you. You are special, you are loved, and you are meant to go and advocate thru any means possible for any victim of sexual assault but for some reason I hope you advocate for men the most. They seem to take this the hardest of the two sexes. My heart just breaks for Trey that he could not quite get over the hurdle. He sounded like an amazing young man. But his message is heard here and I will keep my ears and eyes opened for any person stuck in this cave of guilt. I will also help to free their heart. God Bless you Richard.
I’m deeply moved by Trey’s letter and story and by the courage of his family in allowing us the honor of reading them.
One thing missing from the comments so far: We must do better in helping our young men — and yes, us older men as well — become better grounded in our manhood and what that means. I’ve sat with a number of men in my community who have spoken of being raped &/or sexually abused and almost inevitably, questions of their manhood arises.
Rape is not a reflection on the victims. Rape is a reflection on the lack of humanity of the perpetrators. All too often, those who have suffered this violence look within for answers as to why. The answers are to be found elsewhere — in the perpetrator, in our society’s lack of consciousness around what it means to be a man, and society’s perverse way of holding sex and sexuality — as if sex is what one does to another rather than what we give to each other, as if sex is something to be used to sell cars and beer rather than something to be mentored in our young people.
Men tell me often that there is a disconnect twixt their heart and their genitals. “I get my intimacy over here and my sexual needs met over there.” Our pornography, tho’ ubiquitous, doesn’t help at all.
Let’s not forget Trey and those others who have experienced sexual violence. Let’s unite to hold and heal them, to confront the culture of sexual violence that runs just beneath the surface of our society, and to pressure our universities, churches, and other institutions to stop placing institutional loyalty over those they are responsible to protect.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I don’t know you, but I am deeply touched by this. May God bless you and your family.
Trey, I’m so sorry it came to this! I’m so sorry for your family. Your point is taken. I didn’t know you, but in reading this beautiful letter, I can see that you are an incredible person. You will be sorely missed. What a wonderful young man you are! I’m just so sorry that you went through this travesty of sexual assault in a society, that provided no support. With love…
I am both a victim of sexual assault, and a mental illness social work administrator. I appreciate the sentiment in Trey’s letter, but I went through a very similar situation where nobody helped me, yet I found the strength to carry on because I independently sought treatment and therapy.
I feel that it’s dangerous to use this suicide note as an example or message to anyone, other than as a warning to people dealing with severe depression. I realize we’re trying to change society’s perspective on sexual assault, but you’re listening to and taking advice from a man who was just about to kill himself, and went through with it. Just think about that. There’s fundamentally something wrong with that. A healthy person would find another way out, difficult as it may be.
His message could have been heard without the pain his decision brought on so many others – and yes, it was his own decision. Suicide is, in many cases, an act of power. It’s the only great sweeping gesture many feel they have left. Much like self-mutilation victims often believe it’s the only way they can feel. But it’s more a symptom of mental illness than anything that has happened to them.
To his family, I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m sorry Trey was in such great pain. But there was help. There was therapy. There were all sorts of avenues that Trey could have taken that would have helped him put this behind him. He made this escape because he had no coping mechanism. Depression is a serious illness, and his goodbye letter tells me far more about what mental illness does to a person than what rape does to a person. There is strength in building yourself back up from being a victim, yet strength is the one thing people don’t have with severe depression, which I believe Trey suffered from far more than his sexual assault.
For all those attempting to reform society’s views on sexual crimes, I’m not downplaying the importance of that whatsoever. I am, however, asking you to help reform society’s views on mental illness as well.
JJ –
Thanks so much for your comment. We agree, mental health issues are absolutely central to the tragic story of Trey Malone’s suicide. Ultimately, Trey’s suicide was prompted by multiple factors. As outsiders, all we know about those factors are what he has told us. In this letter, he tells us what mattered to him. Because it mattered to him, it mattered to us to simply let him speak. But in no way do we take a position that anyone was responsible for Trey’s death. That is not for us to say.
We never positioned this letter as an attempt to raise awareness of any particular agenda. For us, this is the loss of a young man full of potential, who had a message he wanted people to hear. The message is profound and multi-faceted. We also considered exactly what you’re saying before we printed it and chose to let the letter speak for itself, with no commentary or context aside from the trigger warning above and a summation of the reason we were printing it – which is just to raise the issues Trey wanted heard.
We also very seriously considered the impact of publishing a suicide note. First and foremost, we believe that Trey could have done MORE good if he’d stayed on this Earth, and we wish we had the opportunity to work with him. No doubt he would have been a force for good in the world. But being as that option is gone, we consulted foremost suicide support resources to be sure that publishing the note was a responsible choice.
You can learn more about that here, in the words of our Founder Tom Matlack.
Ultimately, you are exactly right that mental health issues MUST be addressed, and as we often discuss here, we live in a society where men are told to toughen up, suck it up, man up, sack up and shut up. We tell our boys this from when they are very small. There is no way for us to support boys and men who are struggling when we believe that their struggles make them weak.
Trey was not weak. But he needed help. He asked for help, and he felt he didn’t receive enough. For those of us in a society that shames men who are struggling with mental health issues, WE are the weak ones for being so afraid of the emotions of men. WE are the failures for not recognizing and placing the utmost importance upon mental health issues for both men and women. And in turn, it is up to ALL of us to create a new societal view of mental health.
We wouldn’t shame a person for having Cancer, and we shouldn’t shame anyone for having the disease of depression or for having been assaulted. By publishing Trey’s letter, we only hope that his words remind us of how precious each person’s life is. We hope that it serves as reminder to all of us that shame has no place in any aspect of mental health—be it supporting those with depression (or other emotional challenges), suicidal thoughts, or in talking with survivors of sexual assault or abuse.
I hope this has addressed some of your concerns. Believe me, JJ, we are on the same page with you and are doing our very best to try to make the world understand.
And man, we wish we Trey were still here so we could have walked shoulder-to-shoulder with him on these issues.
His depression was caused by the rape. You really do not know what you are talking about. Everyone is different and are effected differently. So you were able to tough it out. Good for you. This young man was not mentally ill, he suffered from depression as I said, caused by the rape. You need to learn empathy.
JJ
I too was sexually abused by my Maternal Grandfather while my Mother was in andout of Hospitals with colon cancer in the early 60′s-Our family was broken apart and I lived with my Grandparents-My father worked day and night topay the bills-Later after my siblings and I were back home with Dad-My middle sister older than me must have been experimenting with her i dentity and would drag me into a closet and make me breast feed from her–I was threatend with the usual stories. I was able to block things out untilI was about 25 no onger about to suppress them after OPrah began to talk about ti I felt free to at least divulge to a best friend whoused it against me the shame and mixed up mental thoughts all re surfaced. I was in several years of therapy, lost countless relationships over it and continue to build walls with friends co workers and potentional lovers- It is know that depending on how old you were where you where in your psychological development and how long the abuse as well as other trauma going on lasts. Some people never find a way to overcome it–Beleive me I have done everything I can to overcome eating disorders-OCD with spending as well as closeness and trust–Its not a cut and dry illness–Mental trauma invades every single inch of your life–Im an RN not a psych expert take it from one who lives everyday with isolation saddness regret anger and thoughts of suicide. You were lucky you were helped This is the most perfect letter I have ever read from someones soul crying out for help -help that never comes and is often too far gone in your damaged personality-self esteme and relationships-I applaud Treys family for putting this out there It can help Millions not only get help but also realzie they need help or there are others suffering as much as they are–this is still a very tabboo subject.
Thank you Treys Family I am 52 I finally was able to get this down on paper my life has suffered so much-I dont consider my self a victim I only wish there were more help-You may get the much needed help for todays youth and stop this silent killer-God Bless You and Your Family MayTrey rest in peace He is quite a champion
Thank you for sharing this intensely personal note from your son, Trey. I am so touched by his words and at the same time so traumatized with the end result. I didn’t know him, but somehow feel like I do. I hope the family can find some comfort in knowing that by sharing this note, you are sharing your son with us. He was and still is a shining star in the sky. What a tragedy you have had to endure, what a tragedy he had to endure. I too love the water and can feel why he went there – he was looking for comfort. I hope he can rest in peace now.
I am moved to tears by this young man’s words. Such a young life to feel such hopelessness, such pain. We do not do enough to educate young boys and girls about sexually based crime and that it is never acceptable. The hidden acceptation by institutions is unforgiveable and should be brought to justice. How I feel for his family, his friends, those who tried, in vain, to comfort this torn young mind and body. Thank you to his family for allowing his words to be published so that others may find a haven where they feel free enough to talk and seek help. What sorrow he must have felt in leaving his life and dreams behind due to some other person’s thoughtlessness and violence. Such a waste of young, admirable, ambitious and intelligent life.
Enough of this. Name the rapist.
I am with you. After my initial reaction of terrible sadness that this young man took his own life because of the terrible violence done to him, I felt so unbelievably angry at the perpetrator(s?) of this sexual assault. If this person or persons were students at Amherst, it is to be assumed that they should be top students—what is wrong with this picture?
Yes, the rapist should be revealed.
Hi!
This is so sad, and so sad that another person has to die because “society” did
nothing.
Trey’s message is loud and clear. Someone “in power” needs to stop brushing
important issues under the table. In other words, “society” needs to step up to
the plate and do something about it.
He needed validation that someone “in power” cared enough to deal with the
sexual assault that he endured. Same thing with bullying.
During these difficult times, Trey needed support from the right places (society such
as the college that he attended), and it is apparent that he got it from his family but
that was not enough. He didn’t mention the word “society” for nothing. It meant a
great deal to him.
“Society,” pay attention, will you?
“Society,” stop this BS. Do something for those who are suffering and need assistance
during their crisis.
My love goes to the family and friends of Trey. Suggestion: write a book about Trey’s life
even if you have to self-publish it, and let us know about the book’s arrival. There are plenty of self-publishing organizations out there.
I am a former licensed clinician, and I have dealt with this issue time and time again.
Love to all.
I am so grateful that his family let you post this note. The word needs to be spread to the ENTIRE world. There are so many beautiful people left behind in this world that just need to help. Suicide is taking over in this world, and no one seems to care. When someone needs to talk take the time out of your day and listen. It is not that difficult. You could possibly save a life that day. When someone comes to with evident information of illicit activities call the proper people to have it handle and get justice! Never let someone go unheard.
Such a heartbreaking loss, a tragic end of a wonderful and talented young man. My thoughts and prayers are with Trey’s family and friends who will hold him close to their hearts for the rest of their lives. The people in charge who did nothing in regards to the crime are, in my opinion, just as guilty as the criminal. Rest in peace Trey and may God Bless You always and forever. We live in such an evil and uncaring world in this day and time; I hope the uncaring people will read Trey’s letter and maybe, just maybe some will turn their lives around and like Trey said “lead a good life.”
silence is not golden it is deadly. If you see someone hurting reach out. If you see an injustice being done speak out. One pebble has a ripple effect. One hug, one smile, one word can change a life forever…
I wish I had the chance to talk to or speak to trey, or the million others withholding the pain and lurking deep in the darkness. Victims of rape are greatly taken off guard by this trauma, and society’s lack of appreciation to such insult and victimizing results in the self inflected guilt & pain, and ultimately the dysfunction and/ or the suicidal idealizations in these victims.
There is no crime as huge in proportion as sexual assault, not as being robed of materialistic things, or being held under a gun point, its rather an invasion of ones own boundaries, security & believes. thats once broken, are never easy to re-enstate. I am deeply sorry Trey we couldn’t reach you in time, even not as a society but as individuals, you seem like an excellent brought up young man, intelligent and bright with great potentials. I hope you found the peace your tired soul seeked for. and as for the others as Richard one of the commentators said ” The Heritage that is handed to you is not necessarily the Legacy you have to leave behind ! “. Suicide though may seem like a solution but its nothing but your next defeat, there is always a way out, a next door to open, and a new day to live .
May you rest in peace Trey.
Davi
I was so very touched by Trey’s story. I too was a child of sexual abuse from the time I was a toddler until my early teens. By several men and 2 uncles. It had nothing to do with my clothing or substance abuse and everything to do with those mentally ill men. I had no one to tell, until I was older and when I confided in a family member his response was “Well, you are overly friendly!”. Really? A toddler being overly friendly?? My only peace is those men are all rotting in hell now and I have finally realized that I was not put on this earth for men to use my body.
I will pray for your family Trey and I wish I had met you in life. As for your loved ones, stay strong and do not blame yourselves. Thank you for sharing such a horrific yet loving event in your lives.
TC
Such a beautiful yet sad letter. I hope Trey has found peace in his after life and his family has found peace knowing how many lives this letter has touched. I was raped in HS by someone I knew and as Trey said, this person will never see a jail cell because of it. My fault I guess since I didn’t speak up til years later. I kept it inside hoping that if I didn’t speak about it then it never happened. By holding it in I became a very nasty, rude person because the hurt started to eat away at the good person I was. I seeked therapy and up to this day, 11 years later i still want to see a therapist. I was suicidal and did not succeed thank God. I am sorry Trey endured this and understand the feeling of being alone. Such a young soul that I hope will forever rest in peace.
A google search brought up another heart breaking story. When will this end?
http://amherststudent.amherst.edu/?q=article/2012/10/24/personal-letter-president-martin
This is such a sad story and I thank his mom for letting it be published. While rape is normally done to a woman it also happens to a man and there is no help for men to talk it out and they feel bad because it is a thing that normally happens to women but there are a lo of sick people in this world and life is short and so precious and for some sick person to ruin it for someone is something I can never understand. May God be with Trey and hold him close to let him know it was not his fault.
This happens far too often and with men it has come too light after the damage is done. For Trey to have to carry this inside and then take his own life is so sad. In this country we have so many people who have mental problems and there is no money to help them so they just lock them up but at the same time our country sends millions to other countries, our government keep giving themselves raises and they do nothing but they refuse to allot enough money for things that are important like mental health and saving lives. May God Bless this country because it is lost and too many young people are choosing to end their life because life is hard and there seems to be no where to turn. Rape is a subject that few talk about either women or men as they feel it is their fault when in fact it is the fault of the sick person who commits the rape.
I see nothing wrong with “taking advice ” from a man who commited suicide. He is not avocating suicide, simply stating that he no longer has what it takes to go on. I understand that. There are moments when things are so dark that you cannot see any way out or summon the energy to even keep on trying. I feel only compassion for those in that situation because I know what it feels like. There are times, perhaps only moments when you simply can NOT go on. Hopefully the person does not choose to end their life and perhaps we need some way of identifying those people earlier and find ways of helping them before they get to that place. Until one has been there, it is impossible to understand. It is almost a feeling of numbness, of a place of having no hope, no future, no way of believing that things will ever change or become any better…and one doesn’t even have the energy to do anything about it, or even wait it out. I was there some years ago and it was a miracle I survived. I had a brain aneurysm that may have contributed to my own black hole, but I will never forget the “nothing and no one matters” sense of utter isolation from everyone and everything. As this young man said in his letter, he did understand the pain his death would cause, and he understood that suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem; but he was utterly INCAPABLE of FEELING any of that. He understood it intellectually, but the emotions were gone. And the water was beautiful. I understand all too well where he was at. I doubt anyone who has not lived through that kind of “beyond despair” could ever understand the place he was in.One is so very very tired and only wants peace and oblivian from the pain. Even asll these years later, I cannot even relate to what was going on in my own head or reconcile the “logic”; but I do remember the utter conviction of the “solution” being my own death. It is not logical, and it is beyond feeling. One simply sees oblivian as the only way out of pain beyond bearing. Unfortunately, one is often compelled to act during that period of pain. It is utterly impossible to summon up any kind of hope or belief in a future or to even desire one while in thta state of being. And one is convinced that suicide is the only solution to a life that is without hope or joy. It is sad. What I learned was that no matter how I may ever believe that this is true, I will never again allow myself to act on my belief. Hopefully I will never again be in such a state. For those that are in it right now, I can tell you to wait…that things will change, your life does matter and you will have light there again. It all takes time. It also takes moving out of yourself and moving into helping others, something you cannot even imagine summoning up the energy to do. Do it in spite of yourself. Do it because you need to do something good with the awful place you are in. Do it because you have nothing else to do and because what is left of your life might as well serve some good, even if you don’t believe it or even care. Make your life matter, if only in this moment in time. Volunteer at an animal shelter, a hospital, a soup kitchen. Force yourself out there. You can always die later, but you can only live now. Give something back before you go and you may discover that the giving is more important than the dying. After all, what do you have to lose? Thank you for sharing Trey’s letter. He is such a beautiful young man and I am so very sorry he is not still in the same world. But his words will resonate in many of us and perhaps some other hurting soul will benefit from them.
Thank you for posting that.
This was a very moving story and Trey’s note moved me to tears…..I cannot even imagine the pain this young man encountered mentally and physically. My love and prayers go to the Malone Family and Friends.
I will be short. I feel a lot of pain for the family especialy Tray’s mother as I lost my son to suicide 5 years ago and I am still going through grief pain to get to the other side when I will be able to smile again. Tray was a wonderful, sensitive young man. His parting was a great loss. He did not die of suicide, he died of depression and the horrific abuse. Permanent solution for a temporary problem, what a joke! My son fought against depresion and pain for 20 years, is that a temporary problem? If you are reaidng this and thinking sucide, please go to the mental health professionals that use Dialectic Behavior Therapy and Mindfulness therapy. It will take time and trial and error, I understand that you are tired of everything, but please try for a litle while longer and talk to your family and friends, adopt a pet, do suzuku, it makes the barrier against painful thoughts. I hope the society will start helping people with mental illness as they are helping cancer victims. Your son loved you. Love him back by healing yourself. Love and Light, Mira