Encouraging princess culture—however innocently—contributes to the sexualization of girls. Men can be part of the solution to the ‘princess problem.’
This may surprise the readers of the Good Men Project Magazine, but we’re part of a problem: the princess problem.
More and more experts recognize that “princess culture” does great harm to girls. I don’t know how many GMPM readers also read Redbook, 
but it’s worth checking out this story: “Little Girls Gone Wild: Why Daughters Are Acting Too Sexy, Too Soon.” In it, Peggy Orenstein (the author of the new and important Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture), makes the case that a lot of the prematurely sexy behavior and dress we’ve all noticed is actually rooted in something we think is very innocent: the world of princesses.
You may balk—what’s sexy about a little girl in a pink princess costume? But sexy, as it turns out, is not the same thing as sexualized. Sexualization is not just imposing sexuality on children before they’re ready and viewing girls as sexual objects, but also valuing a girl for her appearance over her other attributes. “Princesses are just a phase,” Orenstein writes, but they mark a girl’s “first foray into the mainstream culture. … And what was the first thing that culture told her about being a girl? Not that she was competent, strong, creative, or smart, but that every little girl wants—or should want—to be the Fairest of Them All.”
This may be true, but how is it our problem as men? Many—maybe even most of you who are reading this—don’t have daughters. A lot of you aren’t dads at all. Whether you think little girls dressed up as Snow White are cute or not, what does the problem Orenstein describes have to do with you?
Well, for starters almost every man has—or will have—a little girl in his life. If not a daughter then a niece, a little cousin, your buddy’s kid, your son’s friend from playgroup. And if you care about the well-being of these girls, this issue of princess culture and sexualization matters to you. The bad news is, you may be part of the problem; the good news is, you can be part of the solution.
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Thankfully, most men aren’t sexually attracted to prepubescent girls. But it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a very strong response when we see a 6-year-old dressed up as cute as can be. For men, complimenting older girls and women for their looks is often sexually charged and likely to get you in trouble. But as fathers, uncles, and others notice, little girls of princess age rarely have the same caution and suspicion about older men as their older sisters. Often transparent in their eagerness for attention and validation, they light up at praise. And no compliment is easier to give than “You’re so pretty.”
Five-year-olds in princess costumes are cute. But the problem is that the compliments we give as fathers, uncles, and coaches have an impact on the self-esteem of little girls. As they grow up, they realize quickly (certainly by age 8 or 9) that Cinderella costumes won’t cut it anymore. If they want to sustain the same level of attention that they had when they were adorable first-graders, they’re going to need to employ a different strategy: sexiness. And that sexiness gets our attention all over again.
Wait a minute, you’re thinking. I don’t leer at 10-year-olds in miniskirts. I don’t tell my niece that she’s hot. I wish girls would wait longer to be sexy! How am I part of this problem?
As Orenstein and others point out, little girls take their cues about what is desirable by looking at how boys and men respond to older girls and women. The father who lavishes adoration on “Daddy’s little princess” but ogles high-school cheerleaders is sending his daughter a clear message. The message is that the princess phase won’t last much longer, and if you want to grasp and hold adult male attention, you need to be sexy.
This sexiness has very little to do with sex, and everything to do with the craving for validation and attention. While all children want affirmation, princess culture teaches little girls to get that approval through their looks. Little girls learn quickly what “works” to elicit adoration from mom and dad, as well as from teachers, uncles, aunts, and other adults. Soon—much too soon—they notice that older girls and women get validation for a particular kind of dress, a particular kind of behavior. They watch their fathers’ eyes, they follow their uncles’ gaze. They listen to what these men they love say when they see “hot” young women on television or on the street. And they learn how to be from what they hear and see.
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This doesn’t mean that good dads shouldn’t let their daughters dress up as princesses. It doesn’t mean that good dads, good big brothers, and good uncles should never, ever tell a little girl that she looks “cute” or “beautiful.” It does mean that those good grown men need to make sure that they’re also giving her plenty of compliments that focus on her other qualities, like her intelligence, her kindness, or her athleticism. But something else matters just as much: how we look at and talk about other girls and women.
Too many men do everything they can to protect adored daughters, nieces, and little sisters—while making little attempt to disguise their longing for other young women who aren’t all that much older than the child they cherish. Girls who are raised to see compliments as currency quickly learn that if they want to keep their praise flowing in, they’ll need to do more to “earn” it. And too often, they learn exactly how to earn it from by listening to the words and following the eyes of the men they love and trust most.
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More From Our Special Marriage Section:
Even stellar relationships lose their spark over time; here are the ingredients of a lasting, fruitful partnership, and techniques for weathering the the stormy times: What Your Marriage Needs to Survive
When Tom Forrister transitioned from female to male, his same-sex marriage became a federally recognized, “traditional” marriage. The one constant was the bond he shared with his wife: My Exemplary, Everyday Marriage
As Gabi Coatsworth’s son’s bipolar disorder gave way to full-blown manic episodes, she watched her husband slip deeper into drink and detachment: Reading Between the Silences
For all the stories written by and for women on this issue—and there are few—men are more likely to be absent from the public dialogue about intentional childlessness. Why aren’t men’s stories also being heard? Two Is Enough
The nightmare of family court is enough to deter a guy from even thinking about tying the knot: Marriage: Just Don’t
If you’re married and using Internet porn regularly, your sex life—the one with your wife—is probably a lot less satisfying than it could be: How Porn Can Ruin Your Sex Life—and Your Marriage
Men are more promiscuous than women, but that doesn’t mean we should buy the cultural fallacy that men are programmed to cheat; the vast majority of men are happily, naturally monogamous: Are Men Natural-Born Cheaters?
Tom Matlack talks to married men to find out when they knew their wife was “the one”: She’s the One
Monogamy sounds like “monotony,” but it doesn’t have to be monotonous. Hugo Schwyzer explores how we can have the security—and the novelty—we desire in our relationships: Red-Hot Monogamy
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—Photo by Siti Saad/Flickr
About Hugo Schwyzer
I lost respect for anything you have to say after you attempted to manipulate my comments into apologies for child abusers. And why? All because I regconize that both women and men hold responsibility where your main goal seems to be about blaming women specifically. Talking about male accountability does not negate female accountability. It only helps to address one aspect of the bigger picture.
Above you wrote that I need to do more then site sources. Such as what? Pull rabbits out of my computer screen? You haven’t sited one singular source that could stand by your comments. Please feel free to provide some actual data instead of just commentary.
Below you said:
“I wonder if asking men to stop noticing and having hormonal responses when they see a woman flashing mating and fertility symbols just a reversal of and mental version of hijab….”
Not once in this article did it ask men to stop noticing or having hormonal response to women. What it did ask is that men be aware of how their treatment and response to other women WILL affect the little girls that look up to them. You as a man hold a wonderful and special responsibility to your daughter to show her what a healthy relationship with a man is like.If you don’t want her to be treated like a sex object, then you can’t treat other women like a sex object. It’s just that simple.
It doesn’t matter how these other women choose to dress, overtly sexual or not. You as a man are responsible for your actions alone. And your little girl will only see how daddy treats and reacts to other women. So if you want your “hormones” to be a bigger priority over your little girl, then continue to blame women that dress sexually and defending your hormones as a good enough reason to behave a certain way.
Further, if you are a man that appreciates a beautiful woman, you should not berate or stifle your daughters because she might want to play dress up or look pretty. Don’t teach her to be ashamed of herself and her body anymore then to teach her that she needs validation from men through her looks. It’s a fine balance. If you only ever let her wear “practical” clothes, you stiffle something intrinsically feminine and wonderful. Something you yourself enjoy in other women. Unless you are more turned on by a woman in a practical flannel shirts and work boots than a beautiful and impracticable dress and heels.
Below you say:
“I wonder if asking men to stop noticing and having hormonal responses when they see a woman flashing mating and fertility symbols just a reversal of and mental version of hijab….”
So it’s okay for you as a man to have a hormonal response and hold no responsibility for that response but how dare women to have the very feminine and hormonal response to look beautiful? You’re bent on blaming women for your lack of responsibility to your own sexuality and making them soley responsible for something you should be accountable for instead.
“Men like Hugo perpetuate this stuff by refusing to acknowledge female culpability.”
He’s taken one part of the picture and highlighted it. You’ve refused to acknowledge male culpability and have even gone as far has to defend a man’s hormonal response to an attractive woman, taking away any kind of responsibility you should have for your actions, hormonal or not, all the while critizing women for their own hormonal reactions.
I’m here to tell you from first-hand experience that it made a difference when I resolved to keep the masturbation and massage-parlor trips confined to those days when my daughter is with her mother. Now, if only I could get her mother to see how unhealthy it is for the kid when she moves in with a man six months after she meets him.
Why are the men on here always running to say…. BUTWOMENSHOULDDOTHISWEHAVENOCONTROL…
Dude, STOP… just stop… This site is for men. An article on here is geared and directed towards men…
Its not going to have an article directed towards women or telling women what to do to end this culture b/c this site is for MEN.
Why can’t you just appreciate this article for what it is… a guide for fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. on how to end the princess treatment and give girls healthy self esteem so later in life they don’t have mental daddy issues, etc.
Um, Hugo is the name of the author… not a woman. Could be one, but I don’t know many ladies with the name ‘Hugo.’ Look at the author again, ok.
Secondly, all of your responses show a total disregard to take any ***responsibility*** for anything. Who cares about what women are doing? You have no control of it. You only can control what you are doing. You seem to either 1.) Be a forum troll or 2.) Be one of those jaded anti-feminist screed woman-haters.
You’re the one labeling this feminist. If you put it that anything men do to help women is feminist… well… what is the alternative? A world where men do nothing but try to tear women down. That is fucked up, man, Just sayin’.
The point I was making is… As an uncle… or a father… or a male figure… I don’t want to do something that is going to psychologically damage young girls so that later down the road we wonder why things are so raunchy yet unsatisfying and gender conflict continues. What I took from the article is… we have a tendency to compartmentalize the women in our lives… into two groups: women who are related to us hence (pure and needing to be protected) and outside women (sexualized usually, if they are attractive to us). How we behave when we see these ‘other’ women affects those women we are related to. Get it?
Take relating to boys… as an example… if all I do is encourage sports in the young boys and not allow them to express emotions or have interest in non-traditionally ‘masculine’ things we will just have ‘another generation of men who suppress all their emotions and feel confined or badgered by society’s expectations. The same dynamic happens for women… if they are told they are only worth their sex… growing up… why wonder why they grow up with major hangups.
Why are you so fixated on feminists?
Re: women control everything… I disagree.
Most advertising execs are men… directors… producers… Hollywood etc. All men. Most top CEOs, most top companies run by men… even women’s product company are almost all run by men. On the government side… men control most everything there too… Way more than half of Congress and every single President.
Where do you get this idea women control everything? You sound really paranoid. You sound threatened by women. I am not threatened by women. I am not threatened by feminism. My masculinity has not taken a blow because women have advanced. I am the only person who can make me feel emasculated.
You have serious issues with feminism… that much is obvs. But you are in denial if you think everything is controlled by women. Women don’t make as much money as men do on average… they are mostly in jobs that pay less ie. teachers, social workers, etc. The reason they come up as big consumers is because they do most of the purchasing of things in the house that are needed on a daily basis… like groceries/cleaning products/childcare stuff. You don’t buy a lawnmower every day but many men who are married give wife the checkbook or credit card to go buy them food.
I get it… I am pissed off by men being portrayed by the media as idiots and buffoons. Look at all the ads during the superbowl and most sitcom dads. But those people who make those ads and make those sitcoms are other men. Why? Because they know it sells… Why does it sell? Because there are plenty of men who use ignorance or the appearance of it to their advantage. We would have more dignified images of ourselves if we took the time to realize that its other men who are abusing us and laughing all the way to the bank. Directing all your anger at women or feminists is moot. They don’t control the media… nothing will change. Plus, if you take time to figure out what they want, they don’t want idiot men… women respect powerful, masculine, intelligent men… and I am happy to oblige.
Whatever man, rail on about feminists… how does that make you a better man? Whatevs… obvious troll is obvious.
How right you are. And that is why Portugal, Ireland, Iceland, Spain, Greece and soon to be the USA are bankcrupt. Because baby needs a new pair of shoes.
I didn’t get that impression at all from this article. There was a paper released a few years ago that studied the affect of various types of praise on children’s development (‘The Inverse Power of Praise – http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/); similarly this article cautions about unintentional messages that can be sent when you tell your little girl she’s cute.
It’s not a problem if you tell your daughter she’s your princess. The author is just observing/speculating that a culture that tells every girl that the way she knows people like her is by telling her she’s cute may cause some identity problems when she’s becoming a young woman. My daughter is a tremendous fan of princess stories and costumes right now, and along with telling her that she’s very cute in that Snow White dress, we sit down and read stories about princesses who are brave and resourceful and clever.
I’m not sure what axe you have to grind with this site, but most of the articles here are about things a guy can do to make life better for himself or the people around him. This particular article is a bit heavy-handed, but maybe someone who has a little girl in their life will read this and think about the subtext of the messages they’re sending… praise is powerful stuff, you definitely want to get it right.
If it’s all about a girl wanting to be cute and special and how this may carry over in life, why do so many women give up on those cues and head straight for the refrigerator, like a cow to the feed lot, after they have a wedding ring on their fingers? What goes so udderly wrong?
True, women will do anything so long as they can say that a man overroad their mind and he is therefore responsible for everything she has done or failed to do. It may come naturally for women to blame men because everywhere they look, from the glasses on their faces, to the high heeled pumps they use to depress the accelerator on their bmw convertible, to the road they race about on, under the streetlights to the store, to the aisles of items they browse, it was all conceived of and invented by and constructed by MEN. So, of course we are to blame for all the benefits and faults…
Yet nothing you say has anything to do with men…
No advice for men… no suggestions… no critique of men…
It was all about women and how much you loathe them.
Well answer me… what did you post that said what men should do. It was nothing but whining about women. Nothing. Nada about men.
I refuse to believe that I am the only woman who had a healthy, functional relationship with her father. I am not an anomaly.
Not once did my dad ever make a comment about my body, my clothes, my appearance or make a sexual reference about another female in front of me. He never ogled cheerleaders when I was around or any of that other crap. If he had porn, it was well hidden, and he didnt ogle my friends either.
There are several points in this article I’d like to address:
1) “Thankfully, most men aren’t sexually attracted to prepubescent girls. But it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a very strong response when we see a 6-year-old dressed up as cute as can be.”
***This sentence is powerful not for what it says, but for what it implies. The author can be technically correct in saying that he never stated that all men are pedophiles. He doesn’t. He actually, very cleverly pre-negates is impact statement by saying ‘Oh of COURSE not! Of COURSE MOST men aren’t attracted to children!” But then he says men have a strong response to 6 year old girls. Thanks to clever prose the message delivered is: [All] men have a strong [sexual] response to [little girls].
They don’t.
2) “For men, complimenting older girls and women for their looks is often sexually charged and likely to get you in trouble. But as fathers, uncles, and others notice, little girls of princess age rarely have the same caution and suspicion about older men as their older sisters. Often transparent in their eagerness for attention and validation, they light up at praise. And no compliment is easier to give than “You’re so pretty.””
*********But, this is a very different KIND of attention. hearing my dad say to me as a child “you’re adorable” didn’t ever make me feel that I was anything other than a child whose father just told her she was cute…there was no sexual charge to it, I didn’t even know what that was ffs. Sexual attention is different from parental attention. Mothers tell their sons they look handsome all the time and we don’t see thousands of articles bemoaning boys loss of self esteem because they feel their only worth is in their looks…actually, THAT would be an interesting discussion….
3) “This sexiness has very little to do with sex, and everything to do with the craving for validation and attention. While all children want affirmation, princess culture teaches little girls to get that approval through their looks. Little girls learn quickly what “works” to elicit adoration from mom and dad, as well as from teachers, uncles, aunts, and other adults. Soon—much too soon—they notice that older girls and women get validation for a particular kind of dress, a particular kind of behavior. They watch their fathers’ eyes, they follow their uncles’ gaze. They listen to what these men they love say when they see “hot” young women on television or on the street. And they learn how to be from what they hear and see.”
*******Getting validation for the right clothes and the right kind of behavior etc is not intrinsicly linked to sex and sexual knowledge, it’s utterly different. The next bit which describes little girls as constantly on the lookout for their fathers wandering eye and desperate pre-occupation with sexual imagery is utter nonsense. If allowed to be, kids will be kids, not sexually obsessed toddlers.
IME, its the mothers that primarily buy the clothes, room decor and accessories for the daughters; its the mothers who enter the little girls in beauty pageants and put padded bras on 7 year olds….not the fathers. The princess state begins and ends with mom.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the article were written by a female friend of the person who was supposed to be submitting the article. It is a strange article indeed for a man to have written. Aren’t little girls taking their cues from half naked teenage pop princesses they see on tv?
Natasha, I read this and have a completely different sense of his meaning than you do. Men (for the vastly most part) are NOT attracted to little girls, nor is telling a little girl that she is beautiful/adoreable/cute wrong (clearly stated in the article). What IS wrong is that these girls are watching men’s reactions to OLDERgirls/women, and sees that THOSE reactions are sometimes sexual. THIS is what leads to sexualization, because it has been reenforced by constantly complimenting a princess on her looks and not her athletic skill, artistic talent, or intelligence. He states that ALL of these compliments must come into play, and that men should NOT openly leer at 19 yr olds in miniskirts when little girls are watching them. That is all. And there is nothing inherently wrong with his suggestions. A strong response does NOT equal a sexual response. Women like to look at cute children too. Babies, children…they are cute, they make me smile, they make me feel happy…I can feel all of these things in the absense of sex. Sexualized children (I was shopping for my toddler and saw a dress made for a 3 yr old that had ruching at the chest to give the illusion of breasts. THAT is INTOLERABLE. Abercrombie and Fitch is marketing a padded, push-up style bikini for 8 yr olds. The sexualization of our children is coming from so many sources that it completely overwhelms them. He is simply asking that one small part of this, the part men CAN control every day, be examined and hopefully implemented. And, just because my name seems to confuse people, I am female.
FOR PETE”S SAKE: ” I get it… I am pissed off by men being portrayed by the media as idiots and buffoons. Look at all the ads during the superbowl and most sitcom dads. But those people who make those ads and make those sitcoms are other men. Why? Because they know it sells… Why does it sell? Because there are plenty of men who use ignorance or the appearance of it to their advantage. We would have more dignified images of ourselves if we took the time to realize that its other men who are abusing us and laughing all the way to the bank. ”
This is a really profound point made, about the reason poor images of men sells because there are men who “use ignorance or the appearance of it to their advantage”. I’ve heard too many men say: “men are just dogs”, with a wink wink shrug attitude. Why? Because these men wanted to escape any responsibility they have for the way they act. Men aren’t dogs at all. But it’s easier to say they and live up to a low standard then to set the bar higher.
FOR PETE”S SAKE!: “Plus, if you take time to figure out what they want, they don’t want idiot men… women respect powerful, masculine, intelligent men… and I am happy to oblige.”
FOR PETE”S SAKE! I couldn’t agree more, to this and to everything else you’ve said. And as a woman, I doubly appreciate it because you’re a man so it’s nice that you can recognize that it’s an issue both women and men hold responsibility in.
Women don’t want idiot men at all. We totally want honorable, strong men we can count on and trust. We don’t want the man in the beer commercial that is oggling other women while the shrew wife/gf looks on jealously. We don’t want to be the shrews or the jealous gfs on the sidelines while a man oggles other women or is show doing stupid things. It’s the reason why romance novels in general show men as the heros, show strong male characters that respect and care about the female lead in it. The romance novel industry is obviously heavily dominated by women and the male lead interest is portrayed as solid, heroic, intelligent and caring. And in all honesty, I don’t know one man that wouldn’t rather be seen as solid and heroic vs. womanizing and dominated by his sexual desires.
SOme say that there are plenty of gay men in the industry who are responsible for the pathetic portrayals of straight men. I wouldn’t be surprised if I were to see a tire commercial in which a man sits at the curb crying uncontrollably while his 4 year old daughter ties his loose shoe lace, his wife changes the flat and his 12 year old son holds the family’s pet dog while sucking his thumb.
right, so it’s the gays now. gays are in charge of football ads. gays are in charge of writing commercials that rip all straight marriages. it must be the gays! if it’s not women, it must be the TERRIFYING HOMOS with their HOMO AGENDA. could never be another man, doing this to you. if you had to consider that reality, it would be…..insane, right???
or….would it??
I really wish that TLC would stop airing Toddlers & Tiaras. They are in serious denial if they think, sickos aren’t watching that show. It reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from Little Miss Sunshine. The dad is in the audience waiting for Olive to go on stage, and he flips out seeing how they’re sexualizing the other girls in the pagent.
It’s not cute having your daughter go on stage made up like a 20 year old. If Toddlers and Tiaras show anything, it’s how these girls are pressured to live out their parent’s fantasy. Why is child abuse such a draw for raitings? These girls are being emotionally and possibly sexually abused, and that’s fine by the people at TLC.
I have no idea where you got this notion from. I guess this is just a boys club, and women aren’t allowed.
Toddlers and Tiaras is one of the most disgusting things on television. I saw it once or twice in it’s first season…just because I wanted to see what everyone in my office was bitching about. Mothers screaming at 4 year olds to “pop [their] ass more” when dancing to J-Lo and screaming at them and shaking them because they were scared to sing in front of people is nothing but abusive. These narcissistic bitches are deluding themselves only when they squawk about how much their daughters “love” the pageants. There were children telling the camera guys that they did it so mommy would love them. How fucked up is that?
I don’t think there is a single feminist who thinks Toddlers and Tiaras is cute. COMMENT FAIL.
You are illogical.
Feminist hate the mainstream media.
What evidence do you have that corporate media is self described as feminist? Really, Rupert Murdoch and his ilk are feminist… Not a chance. Not a milli…
I bet you can’t proffer a single example of a mainstream media king describe himself as feminist.
Yes.
Hello,
I just wanted to say that sexualization seems to be becoming a very serious issue in our modern-day society with both psychological and physical effects on women and men, but especially on the more impressionable and vulnerable girls and boys.
I would recommend this video on the topic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU2WzCjTkF4. It is informational and entertaining. It includes relevant modern-day examples of sexualization, and research on the consequences of this trend as well as suggestions on what to do.
I would also like to say that I am not a parent nor am I a conservative, but I too feel strongly about the subject of sexualization and feel that it is our responsibility, as members of this society, to be active in doing something about this issue on a larger social scale.
Don’t forget that the flipside of the “pretty princess” is the “knight in shining armor.” Men should watch out for the whole princess fantasy because it could put totally unrealistic expectations on that little girl’s relationships with other men in the future. The Princess habit can make life hard for men as well as women.
I associate the ‘pretty princess’ act with someone who’s dependent, superficial, anti-intellectual, constantly starved for attention, incapable of acting or thinking independently, and looking for a man to be a savior. That’s bad for the little girl but it’s also bad for the men who will come along later. Not to mention that princesses tend to annoy the hell out of other girls and other women!
Actually, this video shows that WOMEN advocate and perpetuate the sexualization of minors.. and women are doing all the talking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plkeKMTDM9g
Sandra- there are plenty of creepy women out there.
Obviously you have the mental capacity of a carrot stick if you can’t grasp her point.
She said “here is a video that shows women rewarding princess culture.” That shows that women also participate in this structure, as women receive secondary benefits (i.e. benevolent sexism) when they comply with the culture that says women exist to be looked at.
That video did not say that men are not at all responsible for the objectification of women at all ages. That video did not prove that all, and only, women are responsible for it. Now, do you have less of a mental capacity than I, a carrot stick?
Exactly; how is it that men are responsible for the inappropriate conclusions that little girls draw? If a girl sees her divorced father checking out a store clerk’s cleavage and she draws the conclusion that her forty year old father likes cleavage, what the hell is that to her? If she feels like she can’t cut it cause she doesn’t have the same cleavage at 7 years old, well, maybe she’s got her wires crossed to begin with. Why would she be thinking about competing with a 30 year old clerk for her father’s attention in the first damn place? Children should know there place. They used to say that children should be seen but not heard. Now someone seems to be saying that in her opinion, childrens thoughts should dictate the actions, thoughts and behaviors of adults. The tyrany of the child is upon us all.
Omgawd Harry. You concluded the wrong point. It’s not that the little girl is in competition with the clerk. lol It’s that the little girl “learns” from the father gawking at the cleavage that SHE TOO one day will do as the clerk b/c she “learned” that is what a man wants to see. The father should be explaining to the little girl that the clerk should be “showing her goods to her husband at home”, not to ALL OTHER WOMEN’S HUSBANDS. That is teaching the little girl how she should be when she is a grown woman! Does that make sense??? I hope so. (*.~)
Think about the whole deal behind the strory of “The Princess and the Pea”… The prince has a whole kingdom he is in charge of but he takes the time from his busy schedule to stack a dozen mattresses one on top of the other after having placed a single pea between the mattresses at the lowest rung, at the bottom of the heap; and lo, when the young woman whines, snivels and complains that her nights rest was ruined by some monstrous lump, the prince realizes that he has found his princess… a woman who will bitch about any little thing…
Hey! Have you ever read the story? She has to “prove” she is princess by how sensitive her skin is, because the Prince’s mother does not believe the Princess when she says she is a Princess. Sounds to me like women are, yet again, made to compete to prove their worth.
http://childhoodreading.com/?p=5
I think you just did a really good job of pointing out how misogynistic and reinforcing of divisive stereotypes that story is, as so many fairy tales (and contemporary movies, sitcoms, etc.) can be.
Oops, meant that to Harry, not to reading is fundamental.
People used to not pay much attention to children, to childrens thoughts, perceptions, attitudes, comments, etc.,. Are we now being told that we should take a 4 year olds mental constructs into consideration before we look at the shapely calves on that hot young mama? Usually, when someone tries to use morality on me it comes out of their sheer hypocrisy.
indeed. why should the feelings or development or brain of anyone else in the world get in the way of Harry getting his rocks off? nothing is more important than Harry and his need to constantly eye-molest every female he deems “hot.” certainly we should structure all of our lives around Harry’s constant, all-day need to smear his eyeballs all over every woman who dare leave the house wearing anything other than a full-body parka.
This is the second time I have referred to your article on my site. Love it! We have an issue in Australia with child beauty pageants being introduced (from the US) in June. There are thousands of us protesting about this and we have organised rallies tomorrow, which will occur in each major city on the steps of parliament.
If anyone is to blame for the sexualization of young girls in terms of how they dress, it’s the parent who buys their clothes, the mother not the father.
Thank you, Mr. Schwyzer, for this article. I bitterly wish my dad understood all of this when I was a younger girl. I am 24 now and still struggling with all the ways his behavior has negatively impacted me, both in terms of romantic relationships and my world outlook in general.
I want all men to understand that behaving in the way Mr. Schwyzer describes above raises strong fears and anxieties in young girls, setting them up for all kinds of problems later in life.
Here is an pic that speaks to the very thing this article is talking about….
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/08/what-disney-teaches-our-boys-girls-warning-cynical/
I am the founder of Princess Free Zone, Inc.–a site that offers an alternative to princess for little girls and a blog that discusses gender and gender stereotyping. I recently did a blog, co-authored with Lori Day, for the Huffington Post which is called, “Calling All Men”: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lori-day/calling-all-men-join-the-_b_926078.html Men need to be part of the solution to stop the sexualization of little girls–for many reasons, but most of all because we are all part of the human race. This is not about women vs. man–it’s about people helping each other. I applaud Hugo for understanding the complexities of this issue and hope that others will join the fight.
Men help by calling women out of their slutty behavior instead of passively letting them act a fool pretending they can do no wrong. Men being men and speaking their mind instead of cowering for fear of appearing “too strong” is how do a better job of raising our daughters. Simple things like telling her to go upstairs and change her clothes or telling mom “my daughter is not wearing that outside this house”.
The sexualization of little girls took place on feminist watch because their main concern was women being able to do whatever they want in this sphere without being judged. Well, that did not work out too well. I think in the absence of judgment women stopped knowing up from down and many went way too far for no good reason. Young people copied the behavior and now we have this madness. Women don’t need to remove gender stereotypes they need to stop acting slutty. It’s not cute it’s not good, and it’s hurting both sexes.
Mr Schwyzer, please go back to teaching you women’s studies you have noting to offer men or masculinity. Women are responsible for the way they portray themselves, and it’s is mothers who are abusing children in this way. It is women who want the right to portray themselves as sluts. You go girl do as you please. Yes men will look at women who want to flaunt there sexuality, its a power trip for women. So what? Women should then accept the responsibility and consequences and stop blaming men for their denigrating behaviour.