Richard Jeffrey Newman on why he is a feminist.
I am a feminist because feminism is the only politics I know that commits itself explicitly to a world without sexual objectification and the personal, cultural, socioeconomic and political violence — mostly, but not only against women — that comes from it;
I am a feminist because it was in feminism that I first found the language to name what the man who lived on the second floor of my building did to my thirteen-year-old self when he forced his penis into my mouth, pushed my voice back down into my throat and filled me with a silence that made any words I spoke afterwards feel simultaneously untrue and unreal;
I am a feminist because that silence left me voiceless when the second man who presumed that my body was his to do with as he pleased did precisely that;
I am a feminist because, like both those men, I was raised in a culture where men are taught that it is our right sexually to objectify those who are weaker or are perceived as “less than” we are, starting but not ending with women;
I am a feminist because I do not want that right, because I never want to stand on the same side as my abusers;
I am a feminist because, if I am honest with myself, I cannot deny that I am, as a man, always and already on that side, because to be honest with myself is to recognize the changes that “my side” needs to make;
And so, since feminism is the only politics I know that commits itself explicitly to a world without sexual objectification and the personal, cultural, socioeconomic and political violence that comes from it — mostly, but not only against women — I am a feminist.
Women & any inequality that they face is only a part of other inequality some people face ( men & women ), feminism might had a positive outcome to men in the beginning but were it stands now & since a fair number of feminism advocates are pro laws & provisionsthe that at best are unabashedly anti-male , it seems more & more men & women whom their male family , friends & mates are being affected negatively are realizing the adverse affect it has on men, women & children in particular boys.
I understand your argument Richard, it’s something I’ve struggled with myself – I’m willing to bet that you’ve been told in the dusty halls of academia that men can not be feminists, only pro-feminist. That said, Feminism has given us men the language to speak up and out about our experiences, which have until recently been steadfastly silenced. We’re all oppressed by the system, and owe the feminisms a great debt. At the same time, Feminsm is, at its core, for women. I didn’t always understand what that meant, but it’s more than shared experiences, it’s also about women claiming… Read more »
Hi Rowan, Thanks for your comment. I would agree that men need to develop a language and a space and politics of our own with which to change things. I don’t think–and I’m guessing you probably don’t either–that this is an either/or proposition in terms of men’s relationship to feminism. I am sensitive to the whole feminist/pro-feminist issue when it comes to men’s relationship to the movement, and I respect the position that says men cannot be, and ought not to be, feminists, since feminisms should be by, about and for women–though I honestly have little patience for how that… Read more »
It’s odd. The labor movement in the US at its peak was actually a movement of traditional families and communities, especially in its heyday 1936-1973. It took much of its power from the family unit and community in which the workers lived. Nixon began wrecking the gains labor had made by insuring that tariffs went from 14% to about 3% in 1973, insuring the internationalization of production (not good because it offloaded labor to countries that did not support unions and that took advantage of ultra-cheap labor.) There was similar but not as serious offloading in the US due to… Read more »
“I, frankly, do not see feminism vs. Marxism vs. any other progressive political ideology as an either/or proposition, nor was I suggesting that in my original post, and I think it is very telling that people continue to read me as if that is what I was saying.” Do you find it telling of the views of others, or a place to improve how you convey this? I, personally not challenging an either/or, I’m challenging the perception you have that feminism is the only way through which to combat inequality. As I’ve said from the start, I’m fine with all… Read more »
My challenge is just on your perceiving feminism as the only political/ideological theory that promotes equality via freedom from sexual objectification. From Merriam-Webster: Definition of FEMINISM 1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2: organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests Definition of EGALITARIANISM: 1: a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic affairs 2: a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people ——– Both are separate beliefs/theories. I was wondering if you felt egalitarianism did not also promote the same tenets for which you… Read more »
Richard,
Sorry for the duplicity in my comments, due to the constant refreshing & moderator timing in releasing the comments on the thread chat.
For what it’s worth: Ideologies, social theories, cultural movements &Entire civilizations that lasted for thousands of years had came and went away the way of the Dodo bird, Sir Basically it’s still about survival & Evolution of humanity in which a lot if the so called patriarchy was just another survival method in which human history proved cultures &the civilizations that adapted it survived, where do we go from here only time & history will tell, nevertheless I lot of wise minds reject the idea that men as a gender alone are responsible for patriarchy or more precisely all the… Read more »
Since I was arguing communism against your idea that feminism is the “only politics I know that commits itself explicitly to a world without sexual objectification and the personal, cultural, socioeconomic and political violence” (emphasis on “only politics YOU know”)
What are your arguments against egalitarianism?
Adam, I’m really not sure what you mean by your question. You are the one who suggests that feminism is not in favor of egalitarianism, not me, and so I don’t have the argument you are asking me for. I stand by my claim, though. You have not shown that Marxism, for example, has explicitly committed itself, etc. and so on. Marxists, as a movement, were not the ones who worked to change rape laws, to name and work against sexual harassment, to establish domestic violence shelters, to name and bring child sexual abuse into public consciousness as something that… Read more »
By the way There’s a new article In the Telegraph.Co.UK, by Sally peck(feminist), dated Oct/18/2012 – called:” feminism means equality between men and women & we are not there yet “, in regards to a survey by Netmums, anyway in it it states :
” 6 out of 7 woman have rejected the term feminist ”
There got to be something more than just patriarchy at work here, Sir.
For what it’s worth: Ideologies, social theories, religions, social cultural movements & Entire civilizations Had came and went away the way of the Dodo bird, Sir I believe in social Darwinism & Evolutionary psychology & human evolutionand in general to be more precise Genetic gender evolution which disapproves & blows out of the water the central tenets of the feminism theory (patriarchy) tenet in particular. Men and women are equal but not the same in many detrimental ways that technology advances can gloss over only to a certain extent, but the difference goes way way deeper then (I hunt –… Read more »
Adam, Marx might have made that statement, but those are only words. There are an awful lot of countries that claim to give equal rights to women; it’s in their constitution. In practice, however, they don’t. And as far as I know, being a Marxist, living in a communist state does not immunize men against becoming rapists–just to take an extreme example, and one that is connected to the specific claim I made in my post, which is that feminism is the only politics I know that commits itself explicitly to a world without sexual objectification. That doesn’t mean I… Read more »
…..and so ending male expendability, if you really want to do that, is not about competing with feminism/feminists over whose vision of equal rights is more equal, it is about ending patriarchy. Sure the desired end result is to make the world a more fair place for all involved I’ll be the first to agree with that. I think the reason things devolve into arguing over whose vision of equal rights is more equal is because at the end of the day, it will be some vision of equal rights that will be applied to the world we live in.… Read more »
One could also make the argument that all feminism, and all you said is just words. I’ll stop there before I stop waxing existentially. As for male disposability, it highlights a total inequality. You forget also that Mr. Farrell is himself a feminist. The problem is feminism focuses on the inequality of women as a whole, by focusing on the power a few men hold (think the 1%). It does not focus on the inequalities faced by the majority of men. Your example that communism does not prevent rape, neither does feminism. You say communism addresses it, but does not… Read more »
Richard, As I said before, people can hold onto whatever beliefs they wish. I disagree with most feminist mantra, since it looks at the men at the top, and not men as a whole. When it talks about men in power, it does not look at men without power. It discussed the glass ceiling without discussing the glass floor (the level which women can’t fall below). It had women fighting for rights, not obligations (women’s right to fight in wars if they wished, not forced to whether they wanted to or not, as was done with men). I would highly… Read more »
John: I also wanted to respond to your point about agency. You wrote: “Funny, as a man, I realize that I’m on whatever side I choose to be. It’s a matter of agency. I believe almost every adult in the United States has at least some agency concerning most things and that’s probably why I’m not a feminist.” Independently of why you are not a feminist, this seems to me a very odd use of the concept of agency. The fact that we can make choices in life does not change the fact that we all come from places, have… Read more »
I disagree. Agency is everything. Agency is the ability not just to make your own decisions, but it’s the ability to affect those things around you. I am half Asian and half white. I grew up in a white neighborhood in the most racially segregated city in the United States in the 70s. We were picked on and were consistently at a numerical disadvantage. Was it fair? No it wasn’t, but we didn’t hide in the shadows. We responded by learning a martial art and /or weight training. We won way more fights than we lost even at a numerical… Read more »
Courage, you wrote, “The implication is that if you are not a feminist you objectify women and others.” Well, no, that’s not what I said, but judging from the rest of your response, I imagine we will have to agree to disagree. Adam: I know that Marxists will say that communism addresses the concerns I talked about, but there’s a reason that Marxist feminism developed, and it was very clearly that Marxism, without a feminist component, was not addressing them. John and Mr. Supertypo: Learning not to hit girls and to help those who are weaker does not, admirable as… Read more »
Disagree about what that feminism advocates for the right to choose to kill the unborn? There really isn’t much to disagree about. Feminism unequivocally advocates for a woman’s right to choose abortion, which is killing an unborn fetus (a more comfortable way of saying “a baby”).
I think that if it works for you its fine. I disagree with your points like : ” I am a feminist because, like both those men, I was raised in a culture where men are taught that it is our right sexually to objectify those who are weaker or are perceived as “less than” we are, starting but not ending with women;” Im a man to, but nobody ever taught me that. Actually quite the contrary, I was taught to help who was weaker like children, elders, small girls ect. Not considering them less than nothing. “I am a… Read more »
When I was young, boys were taught never to hit girls or people with glasses. I agree. It seems boys were actually taught the opposite of what the author is suggesting.
Why was my prior post deleted?
The implication is that if you are not a feminist you objectify women and others. Maybe I am not getting it but that is wrong. Our constitution protects people to be secure in their persons. Fundamental Judeo-Christian philosophy recognizes the sanctity of the individual. Arguably when it comes to the unborn feminisim is extremely violent, arguing for the premature terminaiton of the life of a person while the person is still in utero. Feminism is not this holy philosophy that respects life universally. Feminism has also argued for and fought for policies that disadvantage men. Now a feminist will say… Read more »
I’m sorry you had to live through those experiences.
“I am a fem¬i¬nist because, if I am hon¬est with myself, I can¬not deny that I am, as a man, always and already on that side, because to be hon¬est with myself is to rec¬og¬nize the changes that “my side” needs to make”
Funny, as a man, I realize that I’m on whatever side I choose to be. It’s a matter of agency. I believe almost every adult in the United States has at least some agency concerning most things and that’s probably why I’m not a feminist.
Courage and Adam: I did not write that the only way to be against sexual objectification and its effects is to be a feminist; I wrote, rather, that feminism is the only politics I know that explicitly commits itself to a world without sexual objectification. There is a difference. If you can name another politics that does this, that puts the politics of sexual objectification at the core of its political analysis, makes it the “motivating moment” of personal, cultural and political change–and I am talking here not about a personal political position, but a politics, a systematic analysis of… Read more »
I quoted Karl Marx because I feel communism does the same without restraining itself by only looking at a single binary (men vs women). The human race is so much more complex than that. Feminism, from a communist lens, would perceive men as the ruling class and women as the proletariat class. I however disagree with the idea behind feminism, and pardon me for simplifying but I don’t feel like writing a 100 page dissertation on feminism, that all men had all the power at the expense of all women (who had none). I felt Courage was unfairly attacking you… Read more »
Ok I am as vehemently opposed to sexual violence, exploitation and abuse of anyone, men, women, children. I am a man, but I am proud to say I am not a feminist. Your premise is faulty. You needn’t be a feminist to be opposed to people who abuse or take advantage of someone weaker than themselves. I find it a bit offensive to presuppose that the only way you can be truly opposed to the mindset that provokes horrendous acts of sexual violence is it to be a feminist. Horsehockey!!
His premise is not faulty at all. Feminism is the only politics he knows that fits what he needed to find strength. His idea of feminism may be different from yours and mine, but his premise is why HE is a feminist, and what HE knows of feminism. When someone mentions they are a feminist, to me it is akin to them telling me what religion they believe in. This is why there’s the old saying of “you don’t discuss politics or religion at the dinner table”, because both are the same; both are matters of belief. Even within the… Read more »