People think racism doesn’t exist, that Islamophobia isn’t real, that anti-Semitism is a joke. But, Qasim Rashid explains, they are actually deliberate decisions people make to hate one another.
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This is 2014 Richmond, VA
I left the hospital yesterday after getting my 1 year-old 2 stitches (he fell but he’s fine). My wife Ayesha was with me, she wears a hijab (head covering like Mary Mother of Jesus).
As we walk to our car I can only imagine how intimidating we must have looked, a petite woman wearing a scarf and a skinny guy holding a sleepy baby with stitches. I noticed a red SUV with various confederate flag stickers on the back. The first one made me raise an eye brow but I figured to each their own. It said, “Proud descendant of a Confederate Army soldier.”
The next one, however, was more direct, “Welcome to the South, now go back home!” Ayesha and I stared at the sticker for a few seconds just shaking our heads.
Suddenly we look up and an elderly woman is staring us down. She literally sneered at us out loud as if we were some rodents standing in her glorious path. She looked absolutely furious and terrified of us at the same time. We kept walking and she stared at us until we were a good 30 meters away. Then she got in her car and left.
Unfortunately this isn’t our first experience like this in Richmond, or in the United States in general—and for the record everyone in my family is a US Citizen.
Ayesha and I have our post-graduate educations. We participate in the election process. We volunteer for local charities. We do everything any “real” American is “supposed” to do–not because we want to “look American” but because we believe its the right thing to improve ourselves and our surroundings. But in response, our entire existence was summed up with a stare-down and a sneer.
You see, people think incidents like Mike Brown, Eric Garner, and Trayvon Martin are accidents. They think Islamophobia doesn’t exist. They think that anti-Semitism is a joke. No, these are deliberate decisions of hatred that ignorant people make because they would rather live in fear of the other and perpetuate that fear onto the next generation.
Racism and ethnocentrism is a serious problem in our country. Step out of your comfort zone and get to know your neighbor. If you’re not helping heal this country, you’re helping harm your children’s future. Choose the right side of history. Choose compassion for your fellow human beings. Choose to rise above the bigotry and find a reason to build a bridge. Don’t just sit there. Choose peace before some psychopath pulls a gun and chooses his violent path for you. #Peace
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Such ugly, thoughtless, compassionless treatment. I wish I could say we’re better than this, but the evidence says we’re not. Society’s evolution is accelerating, but most of us still aren’t having the needed conversations (in re privilege, for example) and we humans run MonkeyOS 1.0.1. Tribal instincts run very deep; we are probably hardwired to suspect and distrust (at best!) those who are different from ourselves. It takes a great deal of effort over a very long time to override this. Our slow progress is part of the paper-thin veneer we call civilisation. Take a quick look at the wars… Read more »
Sadly, there’s so much stupidity out there, and one of its ugliest forms is racism. I’m happy to count you as a truly deserving fellow American, and am equally unhappy to have such fellow white guys in my country. You are the true Americans, the way Americans should be.
I agree it is a big problem in the US. I’ve lived in 5 states, and I see it everywhere (some places more than others). Although, the “Welcome to the South, now go back home” isn’t directed at any race, it’s against us northerners moving down south and crowding up the people who have lived here their whole lives. Still ignorance, but not racist. It’s so prevalent in our societt, it happens too often to even try to confront every ignorant, judgmental person we run into. I guess it is best to move on and seek out more polite, decent… Read more »
Ron White said, “You can’t fix stupid. There is not a pill or operation in the world for that.” Even if there was, the idiots who needed it most wouldn’t use it.
“Welcome to the South! Now go back home!” This is geographical. My brother owned a business in the North Woods of Wisconsin. Even though out family, from my moms side of the family were settlers in Wisconsin, our being from Illinois we were still considered “flatlanders.” As though there are mountains in Wisconsin. It’s fine to take our dollars for vacationers but it was clear, we needed to go back to where we came, Illinois. Racism or prejudice? Jen, I’m curious … what do you say to these relatives, if you say anything at all? Do you enable them by… Read more »
@Tom, I do try to confront them about their attitudes but their minds are very set. I try to avoid talking with them about race or social issues. I met a young woman once in Richmond who told me she was dating an African American man and she said she was sick of the racism and the hostility they faced as an interracial couple from both whites and blacks. I told her she should move to California where people are more tolerant (not that we don’t have racism in California but nothing like the South). She said “There are too… Read more »
Jen, do you find that it’s the older relatives or all ages?
Mostly older but you also see a lot of young guys driving pickups with Confederate flags and whatnot. Younger people are maybe more aware that certain statements would be politically incorrect. Older people will happily tell you what they think. Statements I’ve heard ftom older people include things like “The black people were very respectful when I was a child, Martin Luther King ruined them” and “You need to have more babies because white people are going extinct.”
I have family in Richmond and I can tell you the racism there is pretty shocking. I am a white person so I hear the stuff my relatives and their friends in Richmond say. Being from California, I was appalled. They are very proud of their Confederate heritage, believe slavery was “not that bad for Black people” and will tell you that Abraham Lincoln was a war criminal and that the “War of Northern Aggression” was purely economic and had nothing to do with slavery. I have a friend (in California) who is married to an African American man. His… Read more »
I’m so sorry….I am.
“Welcome to the South! Now go back home!”
How awful! I share Madeleine’s sentiment …glad to see that your kid is okay!
My family walked into a restaurant somewhere and were rudely greeted by an ignorant man who said, “Welcome to America!” (we are Asian)…my brothers and I stared daggers at him but refrained from saying any choice words to him (our parents were with us!)….we just turned and spoke in English amongst ourselves….we were kids but we knew better how to behave properly in public…!
I’m so sorry you had to endure that. It’s exhausting & demoralising even when we know how stupid that kind of behaviour is. Glad your son is OK.