Chris Anderson knows it’s scary to talk about tough subjects like racism or sexual abuse. But in calling them out, we start disrupting their systems.
“Talking about racism and prejudice is disruptive. But things that are disruptive are not necessarily harmful – especially when the alternative is silence.”
When it comes to seriously controversial and multifaceted issues we have two common responses. Some people openly acknowledge that these issues exist and seek to dismantle them through education, awareness, and compassion. Others seek to disprove the existence of the issue itself and call into question the motives of those who continue to raise the issue.
If we are ever going to find solutions to complicated social issues like racism, prejudice, sexual abuse, and other highly controversial topics we cannot afford to deny the existence of these issues, and others, that a substantial number of people speak out against. Simple denying the issue is not the answer.
Let’s leave the issue of prejudice and institutional racism for a moment and look at something we should all be able to agree exists: sexual abuse of boys by female teachers. In much the same way, this is an issue that some people claim is not a problem and that those who would raise it are needlessly creating discord and controversy to advance their own agendas (I’m looking at you Tucker Carlson and Bill Maher).
I would submit that not only is there ample evidence that boys are targeted for sexual abuse by some female teachers, but also that this behavior can cause significant and grievous harm. Therefore it is important for us to talk about this issue, to raise awareness of the ways in which cultural assumptions reinforce the practice, and how uninformed and non-compassionate responses in the face of this problem can actually multiply the harm felt by victims. I also want to stress that in talking about this issue, we are in no way seeking to draw attention away from sexual abuse of female students by male teachers (or female teachers), nor make any comparisons as to the frequency of these crimes or the harm caused to survivors. We are merely pointing out that this crime does, in fact, happen.
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Now let’s step back into the murky waters of racism. Yes, there have been significant advances made – slavery is banned in this country, we passed the Civil Rights Act in the 60’s, and a Black man has been elected president. However we could also just as easily say that there are laws barring teachers from engaging in sexual activity with students, so there’s no need to continue discussing this issue to the extent that we do, and that doing so only increases the problem.
However, I can prove to you that female teachers (especially “pretty” ones) are very often not punished, or very lightly punished when they abuse male students, and that therefore the existence of a law does not, in and of itself, mean that the culture has changed. Similarly, just because I can point to the existence of one female teacher who has been appropriately disciplined, that does not mean that we have turned a corner and can now turn our energies and attention to other, more pressing, issues.I would submit that discussions about racism and prejudice are just as important to have.
Now there are some important points that are often raised when talking about racism as well that I think should be acknowledged and addressed:
Claim: There are no white-only colleges, newspapers, social groups, scholarships, or incentives to hire, and the list goes on and on and on
I respectfully, and emphatically, disagree. To cite a few examples:
Here’s a list of pro-white social organizations.
A Texas based non-profit that offers $500 scholarships to white students.
Research showing that resumes with perceived “Black” names are less likely to get called back than the same resumes with non-ethnic sounding names.
Claim: Inherited wealth makes a hell of a lot more difference than inherited color:
I agree that inherited wealth does change the rules for many people. However, there is no way to know for certain whether any random person you meet is wealthy or not. It’s very difficult to not notice a person’s skin color. And there is ample evidence that a persons skin color does impact their chances of, for example, being pulled over while driving.
Claim: If we stopped teaching our kids that race was an issue, it would stop being one.
Here is where I go back to the point that was originally made. Insisting that X is no longer a problem is not a way to ensure that X is not a problem, especially when the persons claiming X is a problem have ample evidence to back up their claims.
Claim: Discriminatory treatment by police may be attributable to certain behaviors or beliefs held by many OF a certain race, but it is not due to race itself.
This is perhaps the hardest point to dissect. To this extent I will agree with people say race is not, in and of itself, the singlular cause of maltreatment in some cases. We cannot automatically say that those who hold prejudiced beliefs against persons of a certain ethic group are more or less likely to be a member of a particular ethnic group, nor can we say any group is inherently more violent than any other. It will always be a source of controversy to argue in any single instance that a person who was harmed was a target of racial profiling and/or prejudice. However the behavior of institutions and groups, such as law enforcement, or other public agencies, over time and many instances will manifest trends that are often times indicative of a racial bias favoring one group over another.
When discussing the role that race plays in cases of police maltreatment, it is supremely important that we understand that we are dealing with a correlative factor, and not – oftentimes – a direct cause.
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If we are going to meaningfully address the issues that are at stake here, we need to get out of the habit of trying to assign causes to everything and thinking that if we identify the cause of X, we can eliminate it from our society. Problems such as racism, or sexual abuse, are extremely multifaceted and do not have a single cause (or small group of causes) that can be identified and rooted out.
Instead, I suggest what we need to do is look at the many manifestations of the problem and respond with compassion to those who have been hurt. Telling the families of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, or the millions of other blacks, latinos, Asians, Arabs, Native Americans (feel free to insert other groups as you wish) who have been unfairly targeted, incarcerated, and/or punished that the problem isn’t racism is, in effect, silencing them. It’s no different than telling a survivor of rape to remain silent because maybe she shouldn’t have worn such a short skirt, or because maybe a real man would have protected himself.
The only way to meaningfully move us towards a society where these challenges are effectively addressed is to give individuals the respect that, when they feel abused, we honor the truth of their experience, and ask how can we act differently to help them, as individuals, move forward. Talking about racism is disruptive. But things that are disruptive are not necessarily harmful – especially when the alternative is silence. Abuse thrives on silence. We cannot allow ourselves to respond to abuse by telling those who have been harmed to remain silent.
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Resources and support for male survivors of sexual violence are available. Visit MaleSurvivor.org for more information.
Photo: Flickr/Two Cups Studio
This Is An Outstanding Post!
Thank you Kelly and Edmond for your kind words.
A very important perspective. Indeed, we must stop minimizing and overlooking sexual abuse of men and boys. All survivors of abuse, regardless of gender, deserve our support and encouragement in telling their stories so they don’t have to be re-victimized by shame.