A self-proclaimed overachiever gets a lot of flak for being close friends with a stripper, but she explains why they get along so well.
During my short visit home last month, a former classmate bombarded me with a series of aggressive questions:
“Why do you want to hang out with Lauren? You’re a successful writer in New York and she’s a Hollywood stripper. I know you were best friends growing up, but why associate with someone like that now when you could have just had a clean slate?”
You don’t need any context to see that my classmate was being unfair. As you can imagine, there are perks to having a stripper friend—wild stories and free drinks at the strip club—but there’s a lot more to gain than dancing lessons and laughs. I’m frequently asked how a traditional young lady like myself could connect with a stripper, so here are some reasons why we mesh well together:
She doesn’t care what people think
To make it as a stripper, you can’t let the stigma of working in that field bring you down. It’s not a profession for the faint of heart.
Thankfully, Lauren handles criticism well and is unafraid to call others out. While others see her as the High School Goody Too Shoes Turned Stripper, I see the girl who confronted my bullies in middle school at the cost of her own reputation, which seems invaluable to most pre-teens. Some view her as the tattooed 22-year-old whose job stints have historically been shorter than Kim Kardashian’s marriage, yet I’ll always remember her as the pint-sized brunette who socked a guy in the stomach and lectured another young man for turning me down. These moves didn’t do wonders for her image, but taking care of friends was more important to her than being well liked.
We don’t talk about work
In the world of young professionals, social gatherings turn into dreadful networking sessions. Everyone ends up discussing work, so I’m thankful she is more interested in hearing about my personal life than my career when we get together. We say a line or two about our jobs before laughing about childhood memories or bringing up what is actually on our minds. I love unplugging with her and not having to worry about answering questions pertaining to my professional goals or milestones.
Nothing weirds her out
Unfortunately, crazy-exciting adventures are few and far between for me now that I’m out of college, but on the rare occasions I have one, I know I can share every detail of the story with her. Unlike some of the folks I know, she wouldn’t look down on me for having a one-night-stand, moving across the country without a job lined up, or relocating to New York on a whim. Because there’s little she hasn’t seen or experienced, she welcomes my stories with an open ear and free of judgment.
Guys gravitate towards her
Lauren doesn’t dress provocatively, but she has a way of attracting groups of men before they even learn of her line of work, which also serves as the perfect icebreaker. All she had to do on New Year’s Eve was stare bug-eyed at a pack of dapper men for them to approach our circle of friends. Thanks to Lauren, who exudes confidence and has become quite the male magnet, I had arm candy on New Year’s Eve. It’s important to have friends who force you to live a little and have fun, and Lauren always has this effect on me.
She’s not pretentious
The worst part of moving from the bay area to the east coast is bumping into pretentiousness left and right. One week of listening to old money Ivy Leaguers at a stuffy club was enough to make me support Occupy Wall Street, so she is a much-needed escape from the pampered, snooty crowd pervading NYC. Though a former honor student and avid reader, she chooses her friends based on character rather than academic background or social status. She’s a breath of fresh air as well as a willing dive bar wingman, so I’m lucky to have her.
She’s full of life
Too often, I am consumed by work responsibilities and push my personal life to the backburner. While this is great for establishing a career, it’s no way for me to spend my twenties. Whenever we hang out, her vibrant personality inevitably rubs off on me and I allow myself to let loose for a change. We may not talk nearly as much as we did as kids or see each other very often, but as long as I’m friends with her, I can count on a thrilling night out on the town.
—Photo the_toe_stubber/Flickr
I have a close friend who became a naturist in his early 20’s. Some other “friends” suggested that I should shun him, but I felt it was unfair to do so just because of a lifestyle decision. The first time I saw him naked was in his house and I freaked out and politely left. However, the second time was very different because there was nothing left to surprise me, and since then I find it strange to see him wearing clothes. So, I wanted to ask you what did you do the first time you saw your friend? Was… Read more »
Great post. As a former nude stripper from Waikiki (1987-1996), I agree on all the answers here. I learned a long time ago “what other people think of me is none of my business”. That phrase has helped me when I worked the pole for 10 years – and even now, so many years later. I’ve had the same great friends for decades and not once did they judge me by what I chose to do for a living. They expressed concern for my safety, and we talked about my self-worth issues (not saying all strippers have low self-esteem), but… Read more »
It always gives me a chuckle when I read anything where people try to harbor a negative idea towards someone just because they are a stripper. As if someone’s job reflects their total character. In some cases it does in part , and even then it may do so in ways that are not obvious. I’d hate for someone to judge me on the basis of my job. Nobody would ever want to talk to me. My cousin used to mange strippers. And those ladies were no different in variety of character than any other women I meet. Less judgmental… Read more »
mange = manage.
I met a stripper quite by accident oncer. I was sitting at the bar turned around and there she was sitting right beside me. She was in between shows. We chatted a bit, ended up dating and had a relationship for almost a year. The strange thing was, she was a rather shy girl socially and yet she could get in front of a bar full of men and take her clothes off (this was in Canada so it was full nudity). It was a little strange going to watch my girlfriend perform and I did take a lot of… Read more »
My girlfriend currently lives in the US, and having a past where sexual abuse featured quite prominently, wants to work as a stripper through college when she moves here, because she can express herself sexually and deny people’s advances. I come from a background where I previously couldn’t understand someone wanting to be a stripper, but she explained it quite well, and I hope she can find work when she’s here.
It’s a shame that people judge others based on their profession. Thanks for the tips on how we can appreciate all people, and not just those who conform to society.
You forgot the biggest benefit — it saves you a hell of a lot of money.
A delightful piece..!!…er….story…!!! Yeah…thass’ it…story!!! LOL
A little ‘noodling’ on this an’ you got’cher self a “Night On The Town With Thelma ‘n’ Louise” screenplay here…
…a good friend that is an antidote for the ills of even a life well chosen, with character where it counts, and an exotic, alternative profession, is always refreshing to read…!
You did a masterful job of conveying the value unseen by others concerning our good friends, which enriches us all…its why I hang out here…!
Wow, I too am sort of appalled at your former classmate’s attitude towards strippers – as if somehow Lauren would be a bad influence on you because of her profession. Strippers are by no means the scum of the earth. There are worse things she could be doing with her life and her body. Rock on, Lauren! And rock on, too, Laura, for being a good friend. As someone who does pole dancing for fitness and has started coming out of the closet about it, I face the stripper stigma from a different angle. I have absolutely nothing against strippers,… Read more »
Quite a change from being told that any woman in the sex industry is some fragile bullied-by-a-man little girl with no control over her own life.
Oh and btw, your friend has clearly freed her mind of the retarded horsehockeypucks that pass as conventional wisdom. Being able to say “I don’t give a f**k”” with respect to what others think is very very liberating. More people would enjoy more enjoyable and fulfilling lives if they simply cared less about what others thought of them. I was slave to others thoughts for waaaay too long and have not enjoyed life nearly as much as ought to have. Your friend was wise in that she did not bow to such pressures at a young age. On the other… Read more »
Why in god’s name would you get flak for being friends with a stripper? This I don’t understand… Can you elaborate please?
And, just in case I’m in your neighbourhood, where does she work? I may just want to say “Hi” in person and discuss her latest reading material.
Thanks!
The Wet One
That struck me as well. Your “former classmate” is a jerk, and his/her opinion of your friends–or anyone’s opinion of your friends–should count for nothing.
That may be one area where men’s gender conditioning puts them at an advantage socially: I can’t imagine even caring what somebody has to say about my friends.
“One week of listening to old money Ivy Leaguers at a stuffy club was enough to make me support Occupy Wall Street, ….”
It took a week? P^)
I wonder if Lauren would tell us all her side of the story – not the stripping – what you said about “she chooses her friends based on character rather than academic background or social status.” ?
What other side of the story is there when it comes to what she said? I like to think I chose people to bring into my life based more on substance and character than (what may be considered to be) superficial reasons. :]
Lauren – don’t take it the wrong way! I’m just nosy and really interested in authentic characters. I always love to hear what they have to say! They are like a pack of playing cards – 52 in all and even a few jokers included. I like to see the shuffle and how the game gets played all round. P^)
But I’m still surprised that it took a week – stuffy clubs? P^)