Why are male students still disrespecting female authority figures? Haven’t we solved the problem of the double standard in society already?
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I really don’t want to write this post.
More accurately, I really wish that I did not perceive the necessity to write this post.
Coming from a male perspective, these observations and the ensuing rant to follow should not be taken to suggest that the existing double standard needs me to vanquish it. I am not some knight saving the damsel in distress—personally, I don’t think she’s in distress nor does she need my defense; I really do respect her too much to assume she needs me to save her. That in and of itself is a double standard incarnate.
No, more to the point inappropriate behavior needs to be dealt with. Especially when that behavior results in an institutionalized lack of fairness exacerbated by public discourse that lacks balance, equity and respect.
My classes have been in session for about a week. Not every college goes back at the same time. My wife starts back tomorrow. For me preparation rituals have gone unchanged for several years: syllabus revisions, book orders, course websites updated and content uploaded. That’s pretty much it. My wife however has other concerns, her main one being able to set a tone that establishes her authority in the classroom.
Having spoken with a number of female colleagues I have found they face a similar problem as of late. Chief among them, the clear disrespect by male students. It seems that some male students feel that can blatantly challenge a female professor. Over the past year I have heard more anecdotal evidence suggesting that some men, no matter their stature, seem to hold themselves in higher regard that they should.
Would they act that way if she were a man?
One female professor I work with shared a story with me last year that I found astonishing. She teaches art history and after a “vigorous” debate during one class several students gathered around the podium to clarify some points. A male student who during the discussion became disgruntled at his opinion not reining supreme, picked up the professor’s slideshow “clicker” from the desk and began flipping through her Powerpoint presentation. She asked him to stop, and when she reached out to retrieve the clicker he held it away from her as if it were a game. She grew stern and he finally gave the clicker back.
When she finished the story I said aloud without thinking, ” Do you think he would have done that if you were a man?”
Her answer, “No.”
My wife had a similar encounter last year with a male student who questioned everything from her book selection, to quiz/exam content, to classroom activities. In no uncertain terms the student made it known that he respected neither her nor her approach to the subject matter. Deans and department chairs got involved, all of whom supported her position, but in my opinion far too much license was afforded to the student.
True—perhaps I remain less objective here because it involves my wife, but when I think about it rationally I arrive at the same conclusion: every female professor is my wife; every female professor is my daughter; and my sister (if I actually had one).
This disrespect of female authority and expertise extends beyond the teacher. I had a student tell a story involving her own experience. She’s originally from India and according to her she faces innumerable stereotypes. First, she’s studying math and computer engineering. Second, she’s very tall. Third, she is very smart, driven and prefers to work independently.
While enrolled in a math class the students were paired up towards the middle of the semester. Due to her scores on certain assessments, the professor paired her up with an equally bright male student. They did not work well together mainly because the boy was lazy. They were given a very challenging problem and when it was graded the professor called them into his office. Brilliant work, he said and looking only at the male student he asked, How did you solve it?
Problem here was the boy did not solve it, she did. Her lab partner had decided to go out drinking the night before and forgot to email his calculations. She took up the slack. This happened twice more until on the third occasion the female student spoke up and said, “Actually, I did most of the work.” From that point on the professor realized who the brains of he operation really was. This same female student also spoke of how in a math competition her chief male rival said the only reason she won the competition was “because she was a lesbian.”
“As if,” she added, “being a heterosexual female precluded me from having the ability to do math.” She laughed and the class laughed with her until she added that the statement hurt her deeply. We all, in that moment, realized that this was happening in the safety net of a college environment. I mean, what will this young woman face in the “real world”?
Why are female authority figures disrespected so much?
Recently, a number of very high profile lawsuits and cultural challenges have been facing tech firms in Silicone Valley regarding the very issue of sexual harassment in the work environment. Female engineers in some firms face harsh working conditions that include intimidation in hostile work environments in the chiefly male dominated professor of computer engineering.
The underlying assumptions in this instance are damaging—girls can’t be good at math or anything technical, a man can easily take credit for a woman’s labor, women should not be “tough” because that is “bitchy”.
I have seen this myself in a number of academic meetings over the years. A woman will raise a valid question or concern and authority figures ignore the concern until the identical question is raised by a man. What’s worse is that the authority figure ignoring the female voice is sometimes a female. Additionally, I have seen thoughtful and ethical women raise tough questions only to face eye-rolling by their male counterparts.
Right now 23 (4.6%) of the S&P 500 CEOs are women. In the US Congress there are 108 women in Congress; that’s a record (Congress is 80% white and 80% male) however women are under-represented in political positions of power while demographically women are 50.8% of the population.
But “I love women”
We live in a time when it’s acceptable for men to publicly malign and denigrate women. For Donald Trump to still be alive and kicking following his egregious remarks to Fox journalist Megyn Kelly demonstrates the depth of this problem. You can’t be such a dick and then turn around and say, “But I love women.” I mention this mainly due to the fact that pundits, in attempting to explain Trump’s attraction to facets of the Republican base have said the following: Trump’s just saying out loud what many in this country are thinking.
Really? Then apparently we’re a nation of not so closeted misogynists? To be fair a number of these pundits are not endorsing candidate Trump’s views, but merely are attempting to rationalize his popularity.
However this still troubles me since my wife is preparing to determine how to establish a tone of authority and order in her classrooms this semester, something I was capable of doing by just showing up (and having a penis I suppose). Since she will be showing up without one on the first day of class tomorrow how many Trump-like assholes will be all fired up to challenge their grade because she was “bleeding from somewhere” while scoring their exams. Not unlike the two men from Boston who beat a Hispanic homeless man and then claimed to be inspired by Trump’s rhetorical position.
Again, as a man I will never have to deal with this double standard.
What if for once we just drop the double standard?
What if for once men across the nation accept that some women are smarter, better and more capable?
Maybe then there would be less vitriol, violence and vicious inequality based on gender. That’s a world I’d really like to live in.
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—Photo: HonestReporting/Flickr
This essay originally appeared on The Plagued Parent.
Camille Anna Paglia once stated that men have an innate sense of justice. She spoke of being at a concert when a guy behind her unzipped and started urinating on her seat. She punched him. As she did his friend grabbed her by the neck, ready to pound her. She yelled, “he pissed on my seat”. The man let her go, grabbed his friend and in an angry voice, said, “Did you piss on her seat?” The reality here is that the double standard exists in the opposite direction, especially in our universities. I can count a dozen ways in… Read more »
““Why are male students still disrespecting female authority figures? Haven’t we solved the problem of the double standard in society already?… Why are female authority figures disrespected so much? What if for once we just drop the double standard? What if for once men across the nation accept that some women are smarter, better and more capable?” If you look at the college level, it’s not men spearheading the “safe space” movement. Colleges have made adjustments in how they teach or whether they’ll teach certain things. Mostly female students are dictating to the educators how to teach their classes. Talk… Read more »
Again, it is interesting that rather than acknowledge that a circumstance or condition exists within our given system, the argumentation takes the form of “Yea, well look at what Raven said,” or “Women are a problem too.” This distracts from the issue. The piece was focused on a noticeable dynamic existing in our current socio-cultural system. In our current system men tend to enjoy greater power and authority in far greater numbers than women enjoy. Sometimes small men perceive women in positions of power as threats to their patriarchal assumptions of dominance. To be fair any human can abuse power… Read more »
Again I think you misunderstand. I think part of the argument is that it’s generational. No one has respect for authority. Why is that important? That depends on whether you want to solve a societal problem or simply bash men. If the problem is generational, looking at gender doesn’t solve it. None of the comments nor the article has shown that the problem is gender rather than generational.
“Why are male students still disrespecting female authority figures? Haven’t we solved the problem of the double standard in society already?… Why are female authority figures disrespected so much? What if for once we just drop the double standard? What if for once men across the nation accept that some women are smarter, better and more capable?”
What would this article look like if it didn’t premise itself on loaded questions, informal fallacies and hyperbolic extensions?
Yes, I believe that disrespect is often always there. But why does that stop us from discussing the unique challenge of male students refusing to respect females in authority positions? The author has a unique perspective based on his life experience and seeing situations his wife has dealt with. This is from the position he comes to this issue at. I almost feel that there is this general sense of refusal to address issues that negatively affect women on this website. And the common response is, “well that happens to everyone so there is no need to ever specifically address… Read more »
My experience was simply that I (as a woman teacher) had fewer issues with some male students than my male colleagues. I suffered more disrespect because I was white, as some Asian students definitely had a chip on their shoulder about that (British Empire issues!)
I did not intend to try to shut down the conversation but to express my own observation. I think the students saw me as ‘mumsy’ and would respond accordingly, so my experience was different.
Interesting. I’m not sure what happened to my first post, but hat would be my observation also. Many of my male professors had colossal egos. Even those that professed to be feminist acted more like a rooster in a hen-house then a man willing to take direction and education from women. I like all my female professors. Seemed that all of us did. They seemed to be able to relate better to us, and that exclusionary female style.. Maybe it was a competitions with the men. Maybe we saw the females as more of that motherly role. Heck, maybe we… Read more »
Should have read: Inclusion female style. Apologize for the lack of clarity and grammar in some areas. I’m dealing with a varying delay of 5 to 15 seconds, and screen freezes that are going to land me in therapy if I can’t correct them.
I am a former history teacher in the UK and have noted similar experiences as those you mentioned. However, there is the flip side. Often, male students had this ‘macho’ approach some of them adopted and saw male teachers as a challenge and became confrontational as a result. There was also disrespect along racial lines sometimes, too. So my conclusion is that disrespect is always there but in different forms.
Feels good to hear it from the other side of the wall.
It’s not just boys or men and it’s not just women, but I think there are those who’d like to believe it. There is little respect for “authority” and you know sometimes the liberal / progressives are good with that. It just depends on what you’re talking about. http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/10/28/raven-symone-slams-south-carolina-student-cop-video/ You could talk about police shootings. Let’s get away from whether the use of force was excessive. Many of them started with the suspect disregarding a police order. Talking about police, here’s something else that might be interesting. “The lawsuit filed by more than three dozen female and male deputies argues… Read more »
if I could find the same amount of female professors and teachers who actively (and in many cases, proudly) discriminate against their male students (and I can) and in most of these cases, facing no real repercussions for their views, what sort of conclusions can I then draw from that (anec)data?
In other words, I’m glad you teach literature and not statistics.
Why don’t you write that article and we can talk about it there. This article is about men not respecting female authority figures. What are your thoughts on this? In the examples given, is it okay how these young men decided to treat women in positions of authority? Is it okay to assume that math work was done by a man? As a woman, I’d love to hear your thoughts on *this* topic.
@ Erin “This article is about men not respecting female authority figures. What are your thoughts on this?” Seems to me the question was already answered, but you need to infer it. You’re looking at this as a one way street where only one person (the boy) is to blame. The other people (female teachers) are utterly blameless and without prejudice or double standards of their own. Are the female teachers somehow contributing to this dynamic by discriminating against the boys. If boys view these teachers as being unfair, does that impact their view of whether their authority is legitimate?… Read more »
I am with you Erin. Jax is diverting from the issue. Those who wish to argue the statistical integrity of any circumstance or condition, in my opinion, typically seek detail of the existence of said problem/circumstance/condition (think George Will suggesting campus rape isn’t an issue). Bottom line is that female professors on my campus have been escorted to their vehicles by security officers because of threats made by male students. In my 20 years teaching college I don’t know of any male professors having to do the same. I don’t need a degree in stats to suggest that this is… Read more »