Michael Colombini on what it means to be a man from the viewpoint of someone who leads them into battle.
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The never ending question of male teens everywhere: What does it mean to be a man? Granted they usually phrase it in the format of: Why won’t my parents treat me as an adult? Nevertheless the answer is the same. As a married 23 year old man and a Sergeant in the U.S. Army, I hope to enlighten the young men of today’s generation as it relates to actually being a man.
It is imperative in the order of things that you gain the respect of your elders. How can you expect to be on the same level of the adults around you without first gaining their respect? Of course, you will subconsciously think that you are already on par with the adults to the left and the right of you, but what really matters is what they think and not what you think. Until they respect you as an individual you cannot expect to be on the same level. Is that necessarily fair? No, it is not. However, it is the way society has worked for a long time, and like any hard and swift current, you are just going to be swept along with it.
Take the good things and emulate them by becoming a better leader and therefore a better man.
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Secondly, you need to gain the respect of your peers. I will tell you the same thing that I tell any new soldier: Be confident without being cocky. Know you are the best but do not say you are the best. Show others by your actions and knowledge that the authority you carry is well founded in experience and wisdom not in an over inflated sense of pride. Be a follower before you are a leader, but in being a follower do not add the poor judgments of those over you into your book of experience. Take the good things and emulate them by becoming a better leader and therefore a better man. By being humble you will gain the respect of your peers of your elders. Take pride in being the “go to guy,” gain self-esteem and with that your public speaking will be enhanced. Know that those you teach want to know what you know and eventually they will be saying words that are very similar to your own.
I see a lot of immaturity in the Army from people usually older than 18.
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No matter your age, whether 13 or 18, immaturity is never a desired trait; it breeds disrespect. If you do not think about what comes out of your mouth before you say it how can you ever desire to amount to anything? I see a lot of immaturity in the Army from people usually older than 18. It most likely means that they never had someone to form them when they were younger and that the older they got it turned into habit, and with habit it became part of them. Eventually, they did not recognize it as immaturity but instead as a mannerism and a part of their character. If your conscience is well-tuned you will be able to recognize immaturity at a fairly early age. If you say something and then suddenly feel embarrassed by what your loud mouth emitted it was probably immature. On a side note… everyone says stupid things from time to time, no matter your age. A perfect example of an older person who says things when he should not would be Joe Biden.
Be a thinker and a philosophizer before you start running for Student Council and eventually public office. In today’s society it is hard to be considered wise either by your elders or your peers. Prove to them by your actions and your thoughts that you are more than just an immature teenager. Facial hair is not the only thing that makes you into a man and neither is your legal age. It is where your heart and mind are that place you in the endless category of the great men throughout history.
Make a difference!
One small step here and one little word there is how you make a difference. Be the man that God created you to be and not the one that society tells you to be. You can be, as Frankie S. puts it, “Young at Heart” and still be the best. In making a difference you need to live your life on the basis of a creed. How can you be a man well founded in principles without having a set of ideals and beliefs that you follow to the letter?
Do not grow up faster than you can manage. Be taught, listen, and re-teach what you know in a way that is both influential and instructive. Listen to your parents no matter how much it pains you, learn from them by understanding why it is that they tell you what to do. Once you know why and understand it, you will grow rapidly into the man that both they and the good Lord intended for you to be. They will respect you and along with their respect and the knowledge that you are armed with, your peers will respect you as well.
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This article first appeared on Michael’s Blog.
Photo Credit: Alexandre Dulaunoy/flickr
You would be better served to look more at the right since they were more responsible of your perceived problem. Where were you during the Reagan Administration, Bush, Sr., and Bush, Jr., Administration for the last 35 years? You also need to look at Florida, Wisconsin, Illinois, and Kansas, where right wing republican governors and legislators have ruined those states in a very short time
“Hard right wing conservatives in the Republican Party and in Corporate America have captured the control of many governors offices, many state legislature houses, ……” May want to talk to your hard left about these issues, if you didn’t know much of he power has been in the Democrats hands. Where were you during the Clinton Administration, where have you been in the last countless years that Democratic Governors who controlled States that are now in financial ruins? Where were/are you in Cities like Chicago that contribute to a cities financial crisis? Yup, there are some new governors who have… Read more »
Mr. Brechlin, I will say the USA is turning into a fascist state like it was before the Great Depression of 1929 where corporate power merged with state power. Hard right wing conservatives in the Republican Party and in Corporate America have captured the control of many governors offices, many state legislature houses, Congress and state and federal Supreme Court and are stripping the people of their right to unionize, denied them access to affordable medical care, free/affordable education, stripped people of their pensions, denied them the right to sue corporations. In addition, many post 9/11 laws have been passed… Read more »
So what is your point Mark, considering how the adults don’t really care about young people?
G, I will say this … we have raised a society of “entitled” youth. And given the fact that we have gradually transitioned into a Godless politically correct liberal society, maybe you’re right. I guess we’re getting what we deserve … More dollars going to illegals, refugees and alike, Medicare, which the elders all paid into, losing benefits/services … yeah.
We have also raised a society of “entitled” old people particularly business people and wealthy people as well and we are transitioning into a religious, politically conservative society. More dollars going to wealthy people and corporations while in the meantime, they paid little or no taxes while they have full access to government services and then they complain how corrupt government is when they are the ones that made it corrupt in the first place..
Boy g, is that absolutist or what? You’re citing specif individual examples as your proof? What’s up with that?
Yeah, Mark that is absolute and it is the truth and my proof which is something that you can’t handled.
Respect for elders? Why should kids have respect for elders when the elders have been screwing the world for the last 35 years? You tell kids to stay in school, keep their noses clean, and get good grades, but then you turned around and tell them that the world doesn’t owe them a living considering the fact that none of us asks to be brought into this world. Sometimes, these kids know more than the adults and are more morally straight than the adults are and then the adults mock and despise them for it. The elders have no respect… Read more »
I could not disagree with you more.
You are entitled to your opinions just as much as I am entitled to my viewpoints.
good article, though… I dont think so – I would say more that ‘being a man’ means having respect-for and control-over yourself regardless of what others think.
I have seen too many older people from their late 20s through their 80s who have never matured at all and did not bother to earn the respect of their peers, their workforce and their family members and many of them are our top business and government leaders. One of the problems is that some of these people get promoted too fast and despite the fact that they have been in management positions for many years, they have failed to learn the basic of good leadership and use the old fashioned American style of leadership of fear and intimidation.
Since life is seldom if ever anyone’s concept of ‘Fair’, If I could add one thing to the Sgt.’s excellent article, don’t dwell on what’s ‘Fair’ , just stick to doing what’s ‘Right’.
Great article … Thank you.