Jeff Jackson writes an open letter to Hannah Rosin about “The End of Men.”
Ms. Rosin,
How are you? I’ve been better.
I’ve read your article, “The End of Men,” and I found it intriguing. Incomplete, but intriguing. Your conclusions, which may be understandable to a degree, are perhaps one-sided.
Let me tell you a story.
One of my three-year-old sons asked me, upon awakening the other day, “Where did my dreams go?” I, of course, said the only intelligent thing I could think of, “They went bye-bye.”
Very quickly the question hit me hard. So, where did my dreams go? Here I am, a middle-aged white guy, with an MBA no less, and I am woefully under-employed and living paycheck to paycheck. My wife out-earns me. Both of my cars have over 100,000 miles on them. I have no IRA.
After connecting to a slew of high school classmates on Facebook, I realize that even though I was 17th in my graduating class, I am probably the worst off for having changed careers and moving and divorcing and re-marrying and then being laid off and then having kids. My kids are great, and I thank God for them everyday. By the way, thank God for my job. At least I have one.
I go to work, and I see a bunch of other guys who are basically in the same boat I am. We’ve all come from different backgrounds, ethnicities, religions, cultures, locations and here we all are, struggling.
And then I read a lot of articles by women saying how easy life is, or was, for men and how we (men) just expect it to be so, how society is (or has) definitely worked in our favor, and how the “old boys’ club” looks out for us. And I wonder, am I missing something?
I’ve read how patriarchy has ruled the world for generations, and I guess it has, but I haven’t met a guy, to this day, who hasn’t admitted to his wife being the boss at home.
I read about how much better women are at relationships and how much more mature women are than men, but who is buying all the women’s magazines that publish articles like, “How to drive your men crazy in bed” or “How to get him to commit.”
And then some idiot male public figure will do something stupid, like sleep with a hooker or maid or neighbor, and then all the women say, “All/every/any man would do that.” (And I can feel all the women denying it, but it certainly feels like all of them say that. And no, I’m not being paranoid. If you don’t believe me, ask the guy next to you).
Nevertheless, what really drives me crazy (aside from all of the above) is when a woman says or writes or thinks, “Where is the equality for women?” Hey, I admit it. Opportunities have been scarce for women in the past. Discrimination was so rampant it was considered normal at one time. And, as far as I’m concerned, violence, in any form except self-defense, against a woman is cowardly.
Yes, women should be politicians or CEOs or chemists or soccer players or programmers or mothers or wives and/or whatever they want. Would things be better? I have yet to see anything anywhere that leads me to believe that society/culture/the world would be better with women leaders or whatever. Different maybe, but better? Yes, no, maybe, who knows?
So, I’ve done some research. It’s breath-taking. Staggering. Dare I say, unbelievable?
OK, in previous posts, I’ve admitted to being a numbers guy (MBA remember?). So numbers don’t tell the whole story. However, what story do these numbers tell you, Hanna Rosin?
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Let’s start first with school. These figures—and a lot of the figures to follow—are taken (borrowed? stolen?) from the proposal for “A White House Council on Boys to Men.”
Boys are 43% of college students, 42% of college graduates and 39% of the Masters recipients.
So, where are the rest of the boys? Where did their dreams go? More importantly, where is the equality? Do these stats really signal “The End of Men,” or are they a wake up call for the grounding of feminism? Grounding, meaning if feminists were really after equality, shouldn’t everything be 50-50? Read on, it gets worse.
By eighth grade, more than twice the number of girls, compared to boys, are considered at least proficient in writing. In reading, more than a third of girls are proficient vs. less than a quarter of boys. More boys drop out of school each year than girls. By sixth grade, boys are over 50% more likely to have repeated at least one grade. Three times as many boys vs. girls are expelled from school each year. Lastly, two times as many boys vs. girls are diagnosed with ADHD.
Somebody, somewhere has to ask the question: What’s going on? How are these numbers possible? Does the modern, postindustrial society Ms. Rosin talks about, which she hypothesizes as better suited to women, start at targeting boys in school?
Boys have almost TWICE the risk of developing learning disabilities as girls. Boys receive a minority of A’s and the majority of D’s and F’s. In the National Honor Society, only half as many boys are members. In student government, music, performing arts, student clubs and other academic clubs, boys are much less likely to participate.
The delinquency rate of boys is almost THREE times that of girls.
Men’s employment prospects for the future seem to be getting dimmer. Women dominate, by 3 to 1, health and education industries, which are more recession–proof. Computers and the Internet jobs, which are held mostly by men, are being outsourced overseas. Never mind the fact that computer-related jobs are boring, monotonous, technical and not at all life-balanced, hence women don’t want them.
The latest “mancession” was so named because men held over three-quarter of the jobs lost. What industries were those jobs in? Cars, steel, coal, machinery, and construction: industries that were predominantly male. Is it because those industries are predominantly male that they laid off millions? Or was it because technology or other sources, or countries, could manufacture faster, stronger, cheaper? Or was it because the U.S. has moved away from manufacturing to services for the bulk of its economy? If the men in those industries developed their “feminine side” better, could they have saved those jobs?
Just a year ago, September 2010, men’s unemployment rate was over 20% higher than women’s, which is one of the largest gaps in recorded history (or since the Bureau of Labor Statistics began collecting that data). One of every five men ages 24-54 is unemployed. This picture is even bleaker for minority men and male blue-collar workers without a college education. Where did their dreams go? Where is the equality?
Let’s face it, a man with little/limited/no earning potential is less likely to find a wife. Plus, he is more likely to divorce and then, once divorced, be more alienated from his own children. As the Council points out, “Unemployed men commit suicide at twice the rate of employed men. An unemployed man is everyone’s loss.”
Boys and men account for over 80% of all suicides. As boys get older, their suicide rate soars compared to girls. After 10 years of age boys suicide rate relative to girls skyrockets from twice as high from ages 10-14, to four times as high ages 15-19 and then to five times as high for ages 20-24.
After divorce, a man is ten times as likely as a woman to commit suicide.
Where did their dreams go? Where is the equality? Is that “The End of Men?”
Randolph Nesse, Professor of Psychology at the University of Michigan states that, “Being male is now the single largest demographic factor for early death. If you could make male mortality rates the same as female rates, you would do more good than curing cancer.”
In 1920, women lived just one year longer than American boys and men on average. In less than a century, American boys and men now live five fewer years than women. If men’s risk of dying was as low as women’s, then approximately more than 375,000 American lives would be saved.
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Are men in crisis? Absolutely! Is it The End of Men? Absolutely NOT! Ms. Rosin, you can throw all kinds of research and data and stories at me and to tell you the truth, no matter how and what you present, I don’t believe any of it regarding the demise of men. Men are resilient, resourceful and consummate survivors. We will come through this time like all the times before us.
The question you have to ask yourself, Ms. Rosin, is: are you part of the solution or part of the problem?
Thank you. Have a nice day.
—Photo Nina Matthews Photography/Flickr
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I just keep having a disconnect about the articles here on Rosin. Your data fit in with what Rosin is saying. She claims that men have now fallen behind women in our economic and educational system.
Rosin specifically says that this isn’t a good thing. She doesn’t identify a solution, but isn’t this kind of shooting the messenger?
Rosin does not simply say, “men have fallen behind women,” she goes on to say, “men have fallen behind women and they do not care to do anything about it,” as if men are NOT the victims of the predominant culture and are totally responsible for their own predicament–truly, as if men are “inherently worse.” Her tone is not one of empathy, or even sympathy. Often, it is positively TRIUMPHANT. In one paragraph Rosin writes, >>>As we recover from the Great Recession, some traditionally male jobs will return—men are almost always harder-hit than women in economic downturns because construction and… Read more »
That was a formatting nightmare. Let me re-post: Rosin does not simply say, “men have fallen behind women,” she goes on to say, “men have fallen behind women and they do not care to do anything about it,” as if men are NOT the victims of the predominant culture and are totally responsible for their own predicament–truly, as if men are “inherently worse.” Her tone is not one of empathy, or even sympathy. Often, it is positively TRIUMPHANT. In one paragraph Rosin writes, >>>As we recover from the Great Recession, some traditionally male jobs will return—men are almost always harder-hit… Read more »
Third time is a charm: Rosin does not simply say, “men have fallen behind women,” she goes on to say, “men have fallen behind women and they do not care to do anything about it,” as if men are NOT the victims of the predominant culture and are totally responsible for their own predicament–truly, as if men are “inherently worse.” Her tone is not one of empathy, or even sympathy. Often, it is positively TRIUMPHANT. In one paragraph Rosin writes, —As we recover from the Great Recession, some traditionally male jobs will return—men are almost always harder-hit than women in… Read more »
Thanks for responding and for taking the time to fix the formatting. I hate it when I have to fix my comments. It’s helpful to see why you object to her piece, but I think she’s more of a messenger about a social change than someone trying to promote it. She does say that it’s not a good thing and it’s not good for women. 1. Is Rosin happy that men are falling behind? This piece came out about a year ago. I don’t remember the order of things, but around that time, it was in the newspapers that the… Read more »
Sorry, I’m not buying her as just the messenger. Her tone was definitely inflammatory. Her examples were meant to provoke instead of “what are we going to do about it.” If her article were entitled, Men In Crisis, perhaps I would be more sympathetic to her viewpoint.
Here is a paragraph which I left out of my submission to GMP: “At this point, let me throw in one thing here. That is, I realize you are not the voice for all women. You are one woman with a viewpoint. My understanding of your viewpoint is simply that you dare ask the question about the status, and/or progression, of the woman’s place in society/the world/everything relative to man’s place and summed it all up neatly with: is this The End of Men? I perceive that article has clear feminist overtones which lean heavily to creating opportunities for women.… Read more »
“As for Ms. Rosin’s comments about the passivity and muteness of men, I am truly confused. I’ve never met a guy who’s like that. Every guy I know is confused about not only what is expected of them today, but if they are appreciated for what they bring to the family, job, societal tables.”
Well said.
Thanks, Michael. I appreciate your comments, too. Plus, I’m glad you got the formatting to work.
Sorry, I don’t buy that Rosin actually thinks what she writes isn’t “a good thing.” She might say that because it’s the right thing to say, but I don’t for one second think she truly believes it. Watch her TED talk on this topic, she’s cracking jokes, making fun of the men who have been left behind, blaming them for their own misfortunes. In her article, how many actual men did she interview? As I recall, none. Also, this is the same woman who forced her barely adolescent sone and daughter to debate “which sex is better” filmed it, then… Read more »
Thanks for the comments. Her attitude is definitely reflected in her writing. I appreciate your real world examples of her real intentions.