Why Fear Is Your Friend

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About Dave Kaiser

David Kaiser, PhD, ACC is an Executive Coach and Relationship Coach. His areas of expertise include Time Management and Productivity, Managing Conflict, Leadership, Innovation and Creativity, Living a Passionate and Spiritual Life, and Personal Branding and Marketing. His clients are typically either executives at small consulting firms, or female executives who are tired of being "men" at work and want to recast their career to better match their lives. You can learn more about him at www.DarkMatterConsulting.com or follow him at @DarkMatterCon,  FaceBook.com/DarkMatterConsulting or GooglePlus.


  1. Wirblewind says:

    Fear is a useful tool for survival, but it can undermine your entire progress sometimes, especially so if it rules you.For example: when you try to talk with a girl from your dreams you suddenly stutter like hell, when you speak with your boss- you can’t remember anything useful and too boot you panic and it shows.
    Fear is useful, I admit, but usually in fight or flight situations (like, running away from a group of guys with a matchette).
    I know it’s easier said than done but try to overcome your fear when it comes to more… normal, social situations.

    • Maybe there’s a way to categorize different types of fear by situation–physical versus social, for example.

      Fear of a charging rhino: physical, survival-oriented, and entirely reasonable and healthy. This is a good one; keep it!

      Fear of expressing your opinion in a group setting: social, acceptance-oriented, and possibly deserving of questioning and re-examination.

    • I liked this article. I would like to have seen more on the other half of that equation, which I think equates to courage. Without courage to confront that fear, or the courage to stick to values despite fear, then fear ends up driving onward with a slaver’s whip, rather than dare us to rise to the challenge. Fear, and its sibling, anger, are great motivators to action, or to blame others for out choice of inaction. Making the choice based on values may be the only dividing line.


  1. [...] Why Fear Is Your Friend — The Good Men Project Lots of people give you advice on getting past fear, suggesting that if you can break free of the shackles of fear, you will be unstoppable. OK, all well and good. It is important to master fear in order to feel free and to get things . [...]

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