Raymond Bechard pays tribute to the men who hardly received any while they fought for our country.
Lately, I’ve been watching the much-deserved reception of American soldiers returning home from war. I was a media embed in Iraq a few years ago. In Baghdad and surrounding areas I saw up close the dedication, professionalism, and difficulties faced by everyone serving in hostile environments. It was inspiring to see people half my age taking on enormous responsibilities and making lonely sacrifices so far from home and for such long periods of time. They have a courage I’ll never know. There is no way we can thank them enough.
But I’m old enough to remember when soldiers came home from Vietnam. I remember how they and their experiences were shunned and ignored. Like cowards, we loaded our shame unjustifiably onto them. Then we tried to put them and our defeat behind us, or more accurately, beneath us. We didn’t thank them. Didn’t welcome them. Didn’t heal them. And certainly, we didn’t understand them. We never tried.
The lack of respect and gratitude we gave our returning Vietnam Vets 40 years ago seems even more deplorable when compared to how deeply we embrace those returning from Iraq, Afghanistan, and all other places of military service around the world today.
Were they heroes? Yes. Did they sacrifice their lives for others? Yes – over 58,000 of them.* Did they serve with honor, bravery, and courage under impossible circumstances? Yes. Did war change, even destroy, their lives, their families, their careers, and their dreams back home? Absolutely. And all this can be said of our soldiers for the past 236 years.
But Vietnam Vets are a different kind of hero than the rest. In many ways they are heroes above the rest.
♦◊♦
Here’s why. In 1910 a very soft spoken woman named Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu was born in Skopje, today the capital of the Republic of Macedonia. From the beginning it looked like Agnes was going to have a very mediocre life. Then she decided to become a Roman Catholic nun. That’s when her life got much more interesting – and complex.
From the moment Agnes decided to dedicate herself to God, she faced a very serious problem, one she would hide from the world for the rest of her life. This note, which she wrote to a friend many years ago – and revealed only after she died – illustrates the terrible dilemma Agnes faced. “I call, I cling, I want – and there is no One to answer – no One on Whom I can cling – no, No One. Alone. Where is my Faith? Even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness and darkness. My God. How painful is this unknown pain. I have no Faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony. I am told God loves me, and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.”
This poor little nun had lost her faith in God. And from her letters we know she questioned the very existence of God for over 50 years, until her death in 1997.
Did her lack of faith in the God to whom she had devoted her eternal soul kill her dedication to her duty as a nun? Nope. In fact, at the time of her death the order of nuns she built had over 4,000 sisters, an associated brotherhood of 300 priests, and over 100,000 lay volunteers, operating 610 missions in 123 countries. These included hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, soup kitchens, children’s and family counseling programs, orphanages, and schools.
Yet, along with having won the Nobel Peace Prize, Agnes – known to the world as Mother Teresa – didn’t believe in God.**
And that’s why she is one of my greatest heroes. Not because of her religious devotion, or her work, or the countless lives she saved. No. It’s because even though her faith in God faded away, she did the work anyway. She put herself aside and did the job that had to be done – no matter what hardships she was facing. She did it anyway.
And for the same reason, Vietnam Vets are our greatest heroes. They were thrown into the worst shit imaginable then they got shit thrown on them when they came home. But, they did it anyway.
♦◊♦
The Vietnam War was a mess. It was initiated by and fought for reasons only the most cynical Washington politicians could understand or justify. It divided America unlike any issue since the Civil War. It destroyed at least one generation’s faith in the worthiness of our government. It not only left permanent scars on our nation, but especially on those who rotted away in the jungles. No one really wanted them there in the first place; poor leadership let the entire conflict get completely out of control. Then, no one could figure out how to bring them home without losing our precious global standing which, by that point, had been lost. It was a filthy proxy war with Russia that could never have ended in anything but tragedy, loss, and humiliation.
Yet, despite all the wretched inevitability and with everything telling them not to go, those young men went and fought. Unlike all our other wars, the American men who sacrificed themselves in Vietnam carried the added burden of fighting and dying in war without faith. Our national heart was not in it. We didn’t believe in the fight. We were never willing to win, only to throw young, expendable bodies at an enemy who eluded us.
It is not difficult to imagine one of those lost soldiers, waiting through the night and rain in some far off swamp, uttering the same words as Mother Teresa, “there is no One to answer – no One on Whom I can cling – no, No One. Alone. Even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness and darkness.”
Yet, he waited there anyway. He desperately held onto his gun while his friends back home called him a baby killer. He went on endless patrols while Americans protested in anger against him. He got trench foot and diarrhea while his classmates got degrees. He looked into the dying eyes of his buddy while his high school sweetheart avoided the eyes of the next nameless guy she was banging.
The Vietnam Veteran is our greatest hero because he fought two enemies: the North Vietnamese and us.
♦◊♦
Even though we blamed him for something that was our fault, like Agnes, he carried on because of something greater; some need to help where and when no one else was willing to. He served because he was noble. He sacrificed because of the friends next to him in the trenches. He did his duty because his nation – a nation he so badly wanted to believe in – told him to.
And just like that little nun, he struggled every day to wade past all the obstacles and do the right thing. In the face of disease, death, and defeat, he somehow put aside the petty selfishness of the world – along with his own doubts – and fought the good fight.
* For a list of fascinating list of statistics on Vietnam, go to: http://www.mrfa.org/vnstats.htm
** I know that’s a tough fact to swallow. You don’t have to believe me. Read the words of the great lady herself in the book, “Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light – The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta.”
—Photo TTVo/Flickr
My dad was a Vietnam veteran. I’m proud to call him my dad. He is my hero. When he got older he ended up with kidney cancer from agent orange and for almost 2 years I watched him suffer in pain and slowly die. He was my greatest hero and always will be. I’m so very proud of my Father. He was a great person. Very outgoing and happy person. I miss him very much every day. When he passed away I couldn’t get any one to give him a 21 gun salute.
There seems to be a LOT of anti war liberal academia types on this post. These folks really are not worth hearing from. If you haven’t served in country then it really did no affect you at all. All the ranting’s that I have heard all my life since coming back to the world is meaningless bullshit from a bunch of stinking hippie bums!
We did it because at the the time, ‘it was the right thing to do’, I believed in fighting Communism wherever it was destroying people. It was a noble cause. I did not enjoy being spit on or the so called ‘flower childern’ offering me ‘peacenik’ flowers. The ‘tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree’ after the Desert Storm-Desert Sheild war was a catharsist for me….a real welcome home. When known to me I will always tell a fellow RVN vet, ‘welcome home’. For some of those it is the very first time. Shame on you America for… Read more »
I really do appreciate the sentiment about respecting people who’ve gone through hell and back, and the call to find some respect for people who made it through life without respect that they deserved. I can’t find too much fault with the motives. But the exaggeration and simplification here is rubbing me the wrong way. To me, the moral complexity of it all is what is so compelling and actually an even better reason to be compassionate. Many of the people sent to Viet Nam were drafted, not sent there by choice. Everyone sent there was sent there with the… Read more »
The Vietvet is no more a hero than the veteran of any other war. Getting dumped on by a bunch of ignorant and malicious sillyvillians doesn’t make you a hero. Except for the forebearance required not to do to The Kids what they deserve. THAT was heroic.
As one who served during that time, I will say this country is fortunate that the military took this abuse personally and not corporately.
I think what the kids are not aware of here is that Parents of Vietnam era veterans were themselves “heroes” of WWII. Almost everyone’s father had served his country when I was a kid. When YOU were a kid? I know. It’s laughable. My husband was thinking of using his “surfer’s knots” for a deferment(look it up). His father threatened to disown him if he tried to get out of serving. His father was a flame thrower combat marine on Guam. My father was a Ball turret gunner. Incredible manly men. My husband was assigned an administrative job known at… Read more »
Pursuit.
You may have something there. About Korea, I mean. The North was only trying to reunite the country. So the UN and the US and the South were wrong in resisting the effort.
Sarc.
So there are no heroes in the military, since all of the wars starting with Korea have been illegal.
Marcus. Couple of points: First, you seem to have missed my point about Fulda, the Rhineland, and what happened or didn’t happen. It appears your view of “unjust” war is lacking in historical perspective. You are right in one sense. It would be hard to find anybody who admitted doing this shit to Vietvets. Not that they wouldn’t be pleased with themselves anyway. During the Gulf War, it took about eight seconds, talking to anybody putting up the iconic symbol, a yellow ribbon, to find they wanted to get ahead of those goddamned hippies so the same crap didn’t happen… Read more »
Good grief, you’re angry! Look again at my first post that stoked your anger: I only know of this book from a quick google search, so maybe it’s been thoroughly discredited by other research backing up the legend of Vietnam vets returning to spit and scorn. Are you aware of any that confirms this spat-upon Vientam vet legend that we’ve probably all heard many times since the early 80′s? Do you not see that as an invitation to be contradicted and set straight by “the more informed” you scold me for not listening to? Do you not see how it’s… Read more »
Marcus. If all you know is google, the proper follow up is to understand you don’t know enough to approach the keyboard. You didn’t answer why you felt Lembcke’s idea that if it didn’t make the papers it didn’t happen was dispositive. You referred to the Iraq war as “unjust” without the slightest evidence of any evidence at all, except you went to a protest. The reason I provided the sources was not to convince you of anything except one thing; we know better already. Quit wasting our time. After I got out of the Infantry, I was in Air… Read more »
I grew up in rural Oklahoma, which was NEVER in on the hippie movement.
I used to make protest speeches in my speech class, and was totally hated and reviled for “not being patriotic”. People were outright hostile toward me.
As it turned out, I was the first women from Creek County OK to enlist in the military. Ever.
When I went back to my High School class reunion imagine my shock to find out…me and one other guy were the ONLY ONES to have enlisted and served.
Two out of a class of 500.
…so much for True Patriots.
True Patriots stop unjust wars, rather than signing up to fight in them .
Gee, Copy. You are bringing tears to my eyes.
Glad to hear it! I just love it when knee-jerk jingoism acts like it has exclusive title to the term “patriot.”
It’s so very easy to expose and humiliate such ignorance.
Copy.
It may be easy, but you’re not even close. Calling something “kneejerk” and “jingoism” is throwing labels complretely without a single idea.
Which is the best you can do.
Nice to hear you’re working to get rid of the War Powers Act. Thanks.
So, copy. Are YOU signed up for Selective Service, or are you too cool for that? Even though if you don’t you are breaking the law and facing stiff fines, prison time, the loss of your driving priviledges and many job opportunities. If you ARE signed up for Selective Service, don’t be hatin’ on the “HERO” stuff. We know that’s all just a ruse so somebody else’s son goes instead of you. If they didn’t get those suckers to sign up voluntairily, you just KNOW what comes next. It’s not looking good that women can continue to weasel out of… Read more »
Marcus. You DID insult them.
Be happy someone else is doing the dirty work and let it be.
I wrote about this below before I saw this exchange about the Lembcke book. It is a deeply flawed book because he has such a huge axe to grind, but the central idea still stands up: try to find when and where this hippy spitting on a vet actually happened, and the story evaporates right before your eyes. It’s always a brother of a friend of a friend whose sister met the guy that it happened to. It is correct that one will never prove that it never happened, because you cannot prove a negative like that. But, a lack… Read more »
Marcus. I understand impatience, but, trust me, this stuff would go over better if you waited until all the Vietvets and their families were dead. Less contradiction then.
Richard. I don’t know what you meant there. Patience didn’t have anything to do with it, I wasn’t insulting vets or their families by expressing skepticism, and I invited contradiction.
Marcus You missed my review on Amazon of Lembcke’s book. Several years ago, there was a long kerfuffle at a law blog called Volokh Conspiracy. Eventually, it boiled down to Lembcke deciding that if it didn’t make the papers, it didn’t happen. See Bob Greene “Homecoming”. Also, Jack Schaffer of Slate tried the same thing. Claimed the same thing Lembcke did, that if it didn’t make the papers it didn’t happen. I mean, he was forced back to that by the comments of guys to whom it happened. When my brother was killed and the death notice hit the papers,… Read more »
First off, sorry about your brother, Richard. I mean that sincerely. Did you notice the part of my post where I admitted only being google-informed about this and asking if there were other sources debunking Lembcke’s findings? It would appear you’re aware of some, so why not just share your sources instead of acting like I’m disrespecting you and other vets by even doubting the prevalence of those bad homecoming stories? Let’s say Lembcke was completely wrong and had it all backwards, and 3% of returning Vietnam vets found their homecoming friendly, and 93% found it unfriendly. (I guess the… Read more »
Very well said, Marcus. A lot of vets seem to skip over the fact that the Vietnam War was, in fact, WRONG. It was a war crime. It was illegal. Americans opposed it for very, very good reasons.
So where does that leave those who were yanked into it against their will? They were victims. They deserve our sympathy. But that doesn’t make them heroes.
And those who knew it was illegal and eagerly signed up to go anyway and kill some gooks? They’re not even in the running for “hero” status.
All war is “wrong”. WWI was wrong. WWII was wrong. The Civil war. The war of Independance.
All wrong, wrong, wrong.
Lucky for you there are lots of people willing to be wrong so you don’t have to.
Ahh, so all military operations are automatically justified and deserve our unquestioning, unqualified support. Got it.
Not in America, though. We’ve had a few too many experiences with unjust wars to blindly believe that every military action is “defending our country.” That’s jingoism, not patriotism.
Copy – there are LOTs of “True Patriots”, and “non gullible” ones who would never dream of getting their hands dirty with “wrong” wars.
They are really, really the cool guys. You know – the ones who collect comic books instead of playing yucky football.
Everyone knows that.
“They are really, really the cool guys. You know – the ones who collect comic books instead of playing yucky football.” Well that’s nice, way to bring in your overtly wrong views of masculinity into play in a conversation about veterans. Not every person who doesn’t grab a rifle is automatically less masculine than someone who does. That’s the kind of thinking that gets kids riled up and ready to go to war to prove their “maniliness” or some other screwed up version of masculinity. I should know, I was one of those kids. Drop the “real men go to… Read more »
On the whole 100%cotton football vs. comics thing:
Take a look at the daily lives of men serving overseas from World War II onward. You’ll find G.I.s playing football AND reading comic books.
Man and boys who read comics are probably more conservative about military policy and more hawkish in their foreign policy than average, I’m guessing. There’s no need to insult people who may agree with you more than you think.
Copy. re. “wrong”. An unsubstantiated opinion does not equal fact. I belong to the Presbyterian Church (USA). Shortly after the Gulf War, the Presbytery of San Francisco submitted a r esolution to the General Assembly to have the Just War Doctrine updated. Terrif. A bunch of preachers who couldn’t get churches were going to fix up what Augustine and Aquinas had overlooked. Humility is not one of the PCUSA’s big deals. I called for a copy of the resolution. The form is to start out with “whereas this” and “whereas that” and “whereas some other thing”, now be it resolved….… Read more »
I think the meaning of “hero” is diluted when used this way. Some Vietnam vets are heroes, no doubt, but simply serving because you were forced to and suffering trauma or death as a result doesn’t make you a hero – it makes you a victim. I’m not saying it’s ignoble or worthy of scorn, just that it’s not heroic. It’s like calling someone who died in an accident a “hero” because of the nature of the accident, as opposed to some voluntary sacrifice or danger that they chose to face. But I’m old enough to remember when soldiers came… Read more »
Could it be Jerry Lembcke is writing of his own returning home experiences? If so, I’d LOVE to know where he returned to find a warm welcome. The “return” I observed was cruel and very blatant put downs of guys who left to serve by guys who stayed home and moved in on their girlfriends. The “return” I observed was College campuses awash with “women’s studies” that preached to beware of “crazed Vietnam vets – ESPECIALLY Marines. You DO know the divorce rate of combat vets was over 80% about 15 years ago? Who knows what it is now. Love… Read more »
“I always love the old clips of Joan Baez exhorting women not to sleep with any guy who didn’t burn his draft card.”
I love them too, although I suspect it’s for different reasons. I love see true patriots in action, defying the government and opposing unjust wars. America’s a great country!
Joan Baez devorced her husband after he went to prison for refusing to pay taxes to support the war.
Who would have thought you could be a spoiled indugent brat AND a “great patriot” at the same time! Whadda country!
I protested the VietNam war by enlisting. I joined the Air Force, a branch of the military entirely volunteer. As a woman, I thought doing my part and serving alongside my brothers would be welcome. Was I in for a rude awakening. Instead of viewing me as a compatriot, I was viewed as a reminder of the inequity and unfairness they were suffering. After all, I could let down my waist length hair, dress in civvies and put it behind me for the night. As “GIs” with the tell tale haircuts, they were scorned and rejected by the local “Townies”.… Read more »
copyleft. You forgot the guys who enlisted. SURprise.
No, I didn’t. Those guys aren’t heroes either, but for entirley different reasons depending on their level of gullibility.
Are you saying they aren’t “heroes” because you werre there, knew them personally, and have decided this?
Or are you saying you weren’t “gulible” enough to be a Hero yourself?
‘Cause I was there. From what I saw – there were a whole lot of heroes.
Sorry, I can’t agree. The Vietnam draftees were victims, betrayed by their own government and sent to kill for imaginary reasons. They were screwed and stuck in an impossible, no-win situation… but that doesn’t make them heroes. It makes them casualties deserving of our sympathy, treatment, and rehabilitation.
Homer: “That little Timmy is a real hero.”
Lisa: “How is he a hero? He fell down a well.”
Homer: Well, that’s more than YOU did!”
Excuuuuuse me, little Timmy. Running off to Canada is falling in a well. NOT running off to Canada or paying off a Congressman was doing one’s duty. You act like you somehow have great insight that our Government lies to us. Now days, declaring your government is lying is a big “Duuuuuuuuh!” Like even the stupidest person isn’t in on the joke. Back in that time, it was unthinkable. It was unusual. Our government was well aware our Dads had guns and knew how to use them. They actually took great PAINS to cover their tracks and hide their lies.… Read more »
“”But I’m old enough to remember when soldiers came home from Vietnam. I remember how they and their experiences were shunned and ignored. Like cowards, we loaded our shame unjustifiably onto them. Then we tried to put them and our defeat behind us, or more accurately, beneath us. We didn’t thank them. Didn’t welcome them. Didn’t heal them. And certainly, we didn’t understand them. We never tried.”” What’s this “we” shit? I talked to some Luftwaffe guys at Ft. Bliss in 1970. It was their view that the Battle of The Fulda Gap was being fough in stinking padi fields.… Read more »