10 Delivery Room Survival Tips For First-Time Dads From a Cocky Father of Three

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About Jason Greene

8 years ago, my family made the choice that I would be the one to stay at home with the kids. 3 kids later we still believe it was the best choice. I now navigate my days helping with homework, running kids around, coaching sports, and doing chores. Read more at TheJasonGreene.com and follow Jason on Twitter @TheJasonGreene.


  1. I wish I had read this towards the end of last week when my buddy Marc was freaking out about the arrival of his son. It would have come in handy for him :) I’ll be sure to hold on to this for the next baby in my circle of friends… or in the event that I find myself preggers at some point. Thanks!

  2. Joanna Schroeder says:

    I’m sorry, but this cracked me up. I’ve given birth twice and I can attest to the fact that most of this is true.

  3. I would also add that you should be prepared to change your first diaper before the kid is born in the event your partner opts for the epidural. She will be numb from the waist down and feeling random “pressure” and sometimes that is not from the baby coming.
    If she is less than thrilled asking a nurse to clean her backside after the inevitable bm be ready to take that on yourself. The hard part is not the actual clean up, it’s in trying to not show any signs of disgust while doing so.

  4. 11- Do not let the anesthesiologist cross the threshold of the room, if the baby was born without his assistance- I really and truly had a “don’t come in” fight with one after the birth of the second child- much to the amusement of the nurses… got so bad I announced aloud “you will have to sue me to see a dime and all these people are witnesses”
    12- Check the bill and use the overcharges as leverage to get your deductible reduced- or offer to ask your insurance company for a share in the savings.
    13- If men had to give birth, dinosaurs would rule the earth.

  5. And don’t forget to tell all men not to invite their mom and dad and male visitors in the room when she is pushing and breastfeeding. Protect her privacy. You don’t want her to be angry later when she finds that, you sneaked your dad in there while her va ja jay was uncovered, baby or not!!

  6. I liked this article a lot, some really good advice in there and packing a nurse should be allowed. However, I want to nitpick on a couple of things. I know you ate cocky with good reason but the bit at the end about it not happening without you, is only applicable to your situation. Loads of women give birth without that help so desperately needed. Also, I know it is a joke but every often I read an account of a man remarking about how much tougher their wife is compared to the others in the room but that isn’t fair in the least. If you went through it, you wouldn’t be judging how an individual copes with a situation. I don’t like that smug ‘my partner can handle it better than yours’ attitude that sometimes crops up , even in jest

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