20 Things a Father Should Tell His Son

Dork Daddy’s recommendations apply to sons, fathers, men

1) Learn to dance with a partner. Nothing is classier than a man who can walk his partner onto the dance floor with confidence.

2) The only time it is appropriate to use your fists is to defend yourself from someone else using theirs on you.

3) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.

4) That woman in that picture, or in that movie, or on that stage is someone’s sister/daughter. Treat her the way you would hope someone else would treat your sister/daughter if she was in the same position.

5) Learn to filter. Before you say anything, think about how the words you plan to use will sound in the ears of the person you are speaking to.

6) Learn to disagree with someone without taking personal offense – if for no reason other than the fact that you can’t expect something from someone that you aren’t able to deliver yourself.

7) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.

8) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you won’t have to “fit in.” People will come to you.

9) Never relax when your spouse is doing chores. Though she may say it’s “okay”, you never want to be “that guy.”

10) Hold open the door, pull out the chair and give her your coat. Chivalry is not sexism. Hold open the door for anyone. Respect is not sexism.

11) Respect the woman you are with. No matter how badly you want to, don’t make your move until she tells you that it’s OK.

12) A real man knows crying is okay, but doesn’t overdo it.

13) There is no football game more important than a Sunday date with your wife.

14) Never lose sight of the fact that no matter how much you believe, no matter how convinced you may be that you are right — you might just be completely wrong.

15) Learn early to tie a tie.

16) Know your way around power tools.

17) You don’t have to like their music, but be able to identify Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin when you hear them. Again, classy.

18) People will judge you by how you look. It isn’t fair, but that’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind when you’re picking out your clothes in the morning.

19) Learn empathy. In all situations be able to put yourself in the position of the person you’re interacting with.

20) When picking a wife, you can never do better than your mother.

 If you liked this, check out its sister piece “20 Things The Same Father Tells His Daughter.

—This post first appeared on dorkdaddy.com

—Photo andrijbulba/Flickr

 

About Dork Daddy

During the work week the author is a mild-mannered dentist, but after work and on weekends he transforms into DORKDADDY!! When time allows he writes about raising two... wait, no three healthy, well-adjusted kids, while passing on a love of all things geek. His blog can be found at www.dorkdaddy.com

Comments

  1. 21. Whenever someone intimidates you, imagine that person on the toilet. Yup. They’re human. No one has power over you.

  2. Great list….Exercise, be transparent meaning no adgendas, embrace challenge. Get out in nature often. Cultivate men friends, not drinking buddies.

    Not sure about 20 though.

    • Well, 20 is ment to be more of an example of how a man should love his wife. It’s a leap to connect those dots, I know, but I think the best thing a man can do for his kids is love their mother. Kids need to be secure in the relationship between their parents so they can focus on other things. If they know how much I love their mother, if they see how I put her above all others, they also learn what it means to love a spouse unconditionally.

  3. And two more that Dork Daddy missed, but really needed to include.

    http://www.triplethedad.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-letter-to-sons-and-daughter.html

  4. #22 “Choose your love. Love your choice.”

  5. #20 really? I don’t really think that’s entirely accurate. Your mother will choose who is best for Her, not for you. So if the girl in question knows how to make the best Mac n Cheese, and that’s your mother’s favorite meal, then definitely mum will pick her….even if your favorite meal is, say, chips…..think about that Dork Daddy..

  6. 1. I love you

  7. Firstly, cheers to the understanding that science and the arts can and should coexist in the same space and in the same brain. They do need each other as they both offer pure knowledge, just in different forms.

    These sentiments each genuinely appear to be an honest and pure attempt by the author, also a father, to make his son’s life a little easier than his was. These pieces of advice may have been passed down from his father and so on. The effort of sharing knowledge is completely admirable in almost any form and I am not looking to poke holes in that, but a few other thoughts popped in my brain, seeming legit enough to share.

    It seems, based purely on content that Dork Daddy is a Caucasian, very straight acting, sports loving, and beer drinking middle aged man with some standard and slightly indoctrinated “white man beliefs.” He expects his son to be a heterosexual, want to and actually get married, cry only as much as a men are allowed, drill holes in stuff with manly tools and marry a younger, non-family version of Mom. Hmmm.

    Whether due to his age, upbringing, DNA, or finding comfort in sharing real life solutions to real life struggles, it is obvious dad has found truth or solace in some of these words. Again, kudos for passing along solid (yet situational and individual) advice to anyone to assist in navigating life. We all need assistance from time to time, but the relationship that should exist between father and son seems to call for fatherly advice that consist less of generalities and is geared more towards the specific child’s situation at hand. I understand if a similar list was presented by any random twenty fathers there would be as many differences as similarities. These particular twenty pieces of wisdom may wind up being the only ones a particular child ever needs to hear. Again, everything is relative and situational for those involved, making it slightly easier to offer a different viewpoint and perspective.

    Unfortunately, numbers 7 and 8 both seem to strongly contradict 18. The entries at both 7 & 8 both encourage being ok with yourself as is, trusting your instincts and not changing to fit in. To some degree, # 7s “Never letting anyone do your thinking for you” includes removing personal concerns of public opinion and outside influence. ‘Listen to yourself at all times’ is essentially what I read, and that would seem to include dressing in whatever clothes one may choose. Maybe even having the gumption to incorporate some styles and uniqueness that showcase some true individual flavors. But oh my, what will people think?

    14 is key. Sometimes we do not have all the answers. This humbling insight is a nice reminder of the fact we do need help and answers from others from time to time. Also, it speaks to the fact that we really should never believe the hype, not even our own!

    90% of this is solid and legit help-to-survive advice offered from one male to another. I think the age of the child has a lot to do with the specifics of the advice. Relationship stuff doesn’t come around until around the teen years and I wonder if presenting too much info at too young of an age could become somehow detrimental to the child. I do not know, but sensitivity and adaptability related to the father’s advice are also important keys in presenting the best and most timely advice for the son.

    Really, thank you for the article and suggestions. Your list is a great reminder of the beauty, authenticity, pureness and simplicity of a healthy parent/child relationship. It just so happens that we are seeing a bit into your personal parent/child relationship and it largely belongs to only you two. You want what is best for your child, and brother believe me, I have your back through and through. Although I do not have any children, it is easy to find respect for any parent who has made the decision and found the dedication to ‘do it right.’ Your son will appreciate this advice and find something to help him through a tough spot or when making decisions along the way.

    If I may add a few:

    You will always be welcomed and safe in our home. Come when and as you ever may need to,

    Doubt the status quo.

    Understand you must ask the right questions to find the answers you seek.

    When in doubt, call a cab.

    Be careful to never project your own insecurities, doubts and expectations onto anyone else.

    Fall in love as many times as you must.

    Finally, I’ll include two favorites from my dad he passed along when I was around 14:

    Don’t go to prison.
    Don’t get a girl pregnant until the time is right.

    Shoot, 1 out of 2 ain’t bad…

    • Great point, Ryan, “everything is relative and situational for those involved, making it slightly easier to offer a different viewpoint and perspective.” Advice lists are like dollar bills from the regular at the bar: Take some, leave some.

      • Any list with a finite number of entries is sure to garner some opinions…

        Certain ideas, thoughts, beliefs, favorites, opinions, etc. are shared by a large section of the population. Luckily, we each arrived at, continuously interpret, and modify those commonalities based on personal situation. I believe this speaks to how important fostering individuality truly is. We need to explore and test ourselves in order to find our place in it all. Tricky indeed.

        It’s all “take some, leave some” in the end, yah?

    • [[numbers 7 and 8 both seem to strongly contradict 18]]

      Respectfully, I disagree.

      #7 is all about religion. Since I have friends and family who read my writings, for whom religion is of paramount importance, friends and family with whom I would like to maintain a positive relationship, I couldn’t just straight-up say it. But since you called me out, there it is.

      #8 is all about adolescence, when the desperate need to fit in can override sound judgement.

      #20 is all about cultural competence. There is a real world that my children will have to function in, and there are roles that they will have to play depending on their circumstances. In my life I am a husband, father, teacher, doctor, boss… all of those roles have different tolerances for behavior in the eyes of the people I interact with. If I want to be successfull in those relationships, I can’t say “screw it. This is who I am. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem”.

      If my son loves Star Trek so much all he wants to do is dress up in full Klingon garb and speak nothing but Klingon to everyone he passes — if that’s his bliss, so be it. But he needs to understand that there are compromises that come with that. On the other end of the spectrum, my daughter could be Mother Theresa on the inside, but if she walks out of the door dressed like a hoochie-momma, she can’t be surprised if people she doesn’t know relate to her like one. And she can’t be surprised if she misses out on certain opportunities closed to her based on someone else’s prejudice about people who “dress that way”. I’ll use myself as an example. I would much prefer to walk around all day in shorts, flip-flops and superhero T-shirts. But if I did that at work, every single new patient that came into the office would turn around and walk right out.

      Every decision we make opens some doors and closes others. The key here is to know yourself well enough to know what doors you want opened in life, and which ones you don’t mind closing. Once you know where you want to go, make sure that the decisions you make move you in that direction, rather than work against you. I see that as being “true to yourself” every bit as much as #8.

    • > “It seems, based purely on content that Dork Daddy is a Caucasian, very straight acting, sports loving, and beer drinking middle aged man with some standard and slightly indoctrinated “white man beliefs.” He expects his son to be a heterosexual, want to and actually get married, cry only as much as a men are allowed, drill holes in stuff with manly tools and marry a younger, non-family version of Mom. Hmmm.”

      I think this misses the point. This list is easy to adapt to children/families who are non-Caucasian, non-straight, and don’t care for sports. Considering 90% of all boys will grow up heterosexual, I don’t think it far misses the point to assume when those boys are 7 or 8 that they’ll be heterosexual. I have three sons and I’m assuming that. If they’re not, so what? Adjust the list as necessary. Change “wife” to “partner”. The rules still apply. Should a partner not hold the door for his partner, pull his chair out, help him with the chores, turn his back on a favorite pasttime to devote attention to a partner? Of course he should.

  8. Thanks for the list.
    I disagree with 13. Even though family is important & essential, you have to put yourself first sometimes.

  9. The list for men: 20 ways to say ‘You are a monster. Control yourself!’. It is a list about tearing boys down.

    The list for women: 20 ways to say ‘You are precious. Ignore anyone who says different!’. It is a list about building girls up.

    That anyone would take them seriously is laughable. Victorian prudery against men. Progressive enlightenment towards women.

    • Aah. You have to expect the anger to come from somewhere when you post a list like this.

      The best any of us can do is offer our children advice to function in the world as we understand it. The alternative is to tell them nothing. That, surely, would be worse.

      • There are a lot of things to tell a kid, but this is all stick and no carrot. And yes, too much of this does come from the assumption that males are inherently ‘bad’.

        Tell him that you’re proud of him. Tell him to be the best he can be at whatever he chooses to do. Tell him that he’s good, that there’s nothing wrong with being who he is. Do not teach him to put women ahead of himself just because they are women; his wife and his daughters, but no one else. His mother’s job is to protect him, not the other way around. Tell him to be true to himself — to make his own choices and to trust those choices, not to allow his parents to run his life (because they will. They won’t see it that way, but they will try to hard to protect him that they will run it all if he lets them). Tell him that the first duty he has — that we all have — is to himself. The duty he has to others must flow from that. Tell him to be kind, but not to let that kindness shade into weakness. He should never take advantage of others, but he shouldn’t allow himself to be taken advantage of, either (and no, not even by women). Tell him that his emotions are valid, that anyone who tries to tell him otherwise is not his friend, his ally or his mentor. Tell him that ‘Goodness’ is not obedience. It is not loyalty. Tell him that goodness is standing strong for the things he believes, but that’s all it can be.

        Part of what you say resembles this. But your list teaches him to be a good little boy to his parents, a good little worker to society and a good little servant to his wife. It does not teach him how to be a good man.

  10. “When picking a wife, you can never do better than your mother.”
    What’s the rationale behind #20? My main fear about getting married is that I’ll make the same mistakes as my father, and get stuck in a relationship with an abusive woman who makes life a hell for everyone around her, but be unable to leave because the law won’t let me take my children with me, and I dare not leave them alone with her.

    • I’ll repeat my response to Will:

      “Well, 20 is ment to be more of an example of how a man should love his wife. It’s a leap to connect those dots, I know, but I think the best thing a man can do for his kids is love their mother. Kids need to be secure in the relationship between their parents so they can focus on other things. If they know how much I love their mother, if they see how I put her above all others, they also learn what it means to love a spouse unconditionally.”

  11. Nice list.

    Did someone actually disagreed with #13 – sometimes a date with your spouse is less important than football? seriously? Good luck.

    I see nothing contradictory about 7+8 and 18. I work in a profession that is very, very much about appearance. When I chose to dress very well or look very good for a particular situation, that’s me having the people skills to know how the world works and the intelligence to put that to use for me — not me caving in to the peer pressure to dress a certain way. There’s an important, nuanced difference between knowing how to use your appearance and behavior to grease the wheels of social interaction and conforming out to fear.

    I don’t get the idea that this was meant to be a definitive, all inclusive, flawless list of everything we need to know. It’s food for thought and a jumping off point for conversations about being men and fathers. Bravo, dorkdad.

  12. Fantastic list. I kind of went “Merh??” at #20 but then realized you’re talking about unconditional love, not finding a partner just like your mom.

    I think the “hater” comments to this article (not the ones who are disagreeing, but the ones who are genuinely going off on a rant) have missed the point. This list is about breaking boys down? Hardly. How is “respect other people”, “disagree without flaming”, and “be yourself” breaking someone down?

  13. jo oldale says:

    Love them all apart from number 20. We can’t presume that everyone is from a functional family where the mum has a healthy relationship with their son/daughter. And a man needs to individuate…. leave his mother’s house. Part of that is choosing his own mate imho. If your mum happens to like your choice, then happy days. Love number 4.

  14. The only thing that leaves a bad taste in my mouth is the casual assumption that the boy will grow up to want a female partner. In cases like this, when you’re talking about a boy who’s too young to know about his sexuality, it’s very important to keep language as gender-neutral as possible. You don’t want to blur the line between “the norm” in the statistical sense (most boys will grow up to have opposite-sex relationships) and “(ab)normal” in the ethical sense.

    • From a statistical sense, it’s safe to project that my American son will grow up to be an American adult. There is a chance that he may become an ex-pat someday, but I don’t see a problem with choosing your language to comport with the most statistically significant likelyhood.

      The key is not to set a stigma on anything that falls outside those statistics. If my kids want to be Canadian, who gives a rip? Just so long as they call home once in a while.

      The key is also not to overcorrect and make a problem where there isn’t already one.

      • The problem is that the world isn’t just for the majority, and inclusive language costs nothing. Heterosexism isn’t a remotely trivial problem if it actually affects you as a kid, when you’re confronted with thousands of publications, films, tv programs and so on, that contain couples that look nothing like the relationship you want, use gendered language that’s wrong for you, etc. etc., just because it’s “more convenient” to cater to the majority, rather than to risk upsetting the bigots who would rather gay people didn’t exist.

        Creating an expectation, even a subtle one, that a boy will grow up to be straight, can be extremely stressful to him if he realises that he isn’t (and this is the voice of long, bitter experience, it’s not something you get to dismiss with accusations that I’m making the problem up). The take home message is that you don’t need to be a Fred Phelps style raving homophobe to make gay kids feel unwelcome or uncomfortable.

  15. Apparently, the number one lesson is ‘Don’t be gay.’ What year was this list written?

  16. Apparently, the number one lesson is ‘Don’t be gay.’ In what year was this list written?

    • Wow. That’s the #1 thing you got out of this? I can appreciate being attuned to a particular social issue that’s close to your heart, but I don’t see anything wrong with projecting my children will grow into a scenario that 95% (or more) naturally find themselves in.

      My gay colleague regularly refers to his partner as his “wife”. It generally gets a good chuckle from everyone around the table, his partner included.

      Take a deep breath. Release your anger. Not everyone is attacking you. Not everyone is judging you.

  17. “11) Respect the woman you are with. No matter how badly you want to, don’t make your move until she tells you that it’s OK.”
    Actually, this is a lesson in nice-guy-itis. I cannot tell you how IRRITATING it is (not to mention mood-killing) to have to be the one to initiate _everything._ And given that guys wanna be intimate with girls, that a guy now practically expects girls to initiate, using this “respect” as the cop-out line, is a real let-down. To be desired by one you admire is the only aphrodisiac. If you turn the desiring into another thing women have to _do,_ you kill it.

    After a dozen years of kissing frogs, I have come to learn that when girls make the first move, most guys just see an opportunity to take advantage of. So if you’re actually interested, venture to make the move first, and once you’re an item, continue to make moves regularly. A game of tit-for-tat or turn-taking about snogging or more gets old fast.
    Revision: *Don’t make a move if you have reason to doubt that it would not be welcome. And be confident, but don’t be pushy, when you do make your move.*

    And nice guys: sitting there being respectful, being respectful, being respectful, is waiting for her to solve your romantic problems. This is plainly is not commendable, and neither is inexperience past the age of 25. I have had a few guy friends that I wish would have gotten the message that hanging around being respectful is wasting their time and mine, but mostly theirs, and I’m not the one responsible for not saying “I think you might like to jump my bones, sir, but I am telling you that is not going to happen.” I value their friendship, but once one catches wind that months and years later, they’re still pining for what could have been, it does devalue the friendship. If they’d made their move and I turned them down, that should be the end of it. If they never made their move, they sure didn’t show me they could be a good partner, or give themselves the practice of moving and then moving on.

    • Wow, what shaming of passive guys!

      “Guys, do the first move always, because I can’t be bothered to do it, and I’m a universal woman.”

    • Gotta disagree with you there, Jane. I agree that if I want to make a move I should be allowed, but a guy sitting on his hands waiting for me to say some magic words means nothing is going to get off the ground–but that’s not what that point in the article was about. I went on a date last week with a guy who was ignoring my signals of being uncomfortable with canoodling in public on a first date and kept pushing at it. I had a great time otherwise, and if he had slowed the heck down and been more respectful, I likely would be seeing him again. It’s exhausting having to fend a guy off whenever I’m with him, and it makes me uncomfortable to the point where I’ll stop enjoying our interactions.

      I think what it comes down to is that the wording of this point might be vague. I read it as, “Don’t try to HAVE SEX with A WOMAN YOU’RE ALREADY IN A DATING RELATIONSHIP WITH unless she expresses she’s ready to.” Because continuing to try to get in her pants when she’s not ready not only makes the relationship uncomfortable and her feel like she has to have her guard up, but also makes it a lot easier for a guy to unwittingly commit a crime.

    • Don’t over analyze it. When you boil it down to it’s ultimate essence, it’s about RESPECTING a woman more than anything else. Nothing is less respectful than physically pushing yourself on a woman who isn’t ready for or doesn’t want the physical advances.

      However you read the signals, it doesn’t really matter. Just make sure you get the signals right before you plot a course and charge ahead.

      -Dork Dad

  18. The first thing a father should say to his son is: “I love you and I always will. You (and my other children) are more precious to me than anything could ever be.” It sounds mushy but when he grows up he will appreciate it.

    Not that I got any of that from my old man.

    And I am, quite frankly, a psychological mess partly because of that.

  19. When I saw the title of the article, I had hoped that there would be a number devoted specifically (and simply) to telling sons “I Love You.” And there isn’t. Sad. I’m not suggesting that some dads don’t tell their sons this already, but it should really be included in any parental list of “things one should tell their children,” shouldn’t it?

    • You’re absolutely right, and that’s been addressed elsewhere in the comments, but it tends to get lost in the clutter. First of all, this isn’t supposed to be an all-encompasing list… as if to say there are 20 things you should tell your kids and that’s it.

      For me it seemed a shame to waste a line item on a list like this for something so “well duh”, such a no-brainer. But yes! “I love you”. Of course.

  20. “When picking a wife, you can never do better than your mother.”
    Are you kidding? My mother was an abusive drunk, who neglected us and physically assaulted myself, my father, and my five brothers and sisters. This kind of “all mothers are saints” garbage is both ridiculous and offensive. Leave it out next time.

    • I’ve mentioned this before in the responses, but it seems to get lost in the clutter. #20 isn’t about how “perfect” your mother is. It’s about loving someone and holding them above all others so your children can see by example what it means to love someone unconditionally.

  21. Charlie Brown says:

    I believe #20 is slightly off. My mother’s mothering was a train wreck. I probably learned less from her than anybody else in my life. On the other hand, her mother was truly a saint among us. I wish I knew what happened between them.

    • #20 isn’t actually about how “good” your mother is. It’s about loving your wife, holding her above all others, and showing your kids what it means to love unconditionally.

    • I felt the same about #20. I’m sure that guy who wrote “A Child Called It” hoped for better than his mother. My own mother was terrible. Everything I learned about being a parent came from NOT doing what she did or doing the exact opposite. My MIL doesn’t impress me that much either. My point is, mothers are not always a standard to aim for.

  22. Dan Flowers says:

    I disagree with one and think the author missed a very important one. Regarding number 2… It is appropriate to use your fists in defense of others who need your help. Real men are protectors of the weak. Standing by idly when an injustice happens because YOU are not being attacked means you are a coward.

    Number 21 – There are principles and causes that are larger than you. They are worth risking everything for. You need to think about it and decide what they are. If you can’t think of anything or anyone who you would not give your life for, that says something about you and it is NOT good.

  23. #8 – Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you won’t have to “fit in.”

    #18 – People will judge you by how you look….Keep that in mind when you’re picking out your clothes in the morning.

  24. Nice list, but not one thing about believing in God, or even in anything higher or more important than yourself. What do you live for? An important question that every man needs to answer for himself.

  25. #14 is about religion too… and politics.

    Frankly, from where I sit, whether or not you have religion has absolutely no bearing on how successful you are in life. It’s a tool that some people use to navigate the sometimes choppy waters of life, but it is by no means critical, by no means necessary and by no means compulsory. Many, many people find truth, value, poetry and meaning in life without any traces of religion.

  26. Great list, and I would emphasize #1. There is nothing I wish I had learned more than to be a confident dancer. Alas, my two left feet are all thumbs.

    To those who question the absence of God or faith in the list: The entire book of Esther never mentions God. Just because you don’t see his name, doesn’t mean He isn’t there. I personally believe, that as men, one of the greatest ways we can honor our God or whatever higher power you believe in is to raise up our children to be solid men and women.

    And I don’t believe that a belief in something beyond ourselves is necessary to make a difference in the world. Some of the most inspiring and caring people I’ve ever met had no faith at all beyond a belief in making the world a better place by helping others because it’s the right thing to do. On he opposite side of that token, I’ve known many “Christians” who have made me ashamed to wear that banner and have pretty much driven me from the church.

  27. I like this a lot DD, but not even necessarily for the specific content of it (though, I do agree with most). I like it because it is about raising your son with thought and consideration. Aside from the individual ideas, the fact that they exist in your mind at all will show your son that such consideration is in itself a valuable way to live. That will be the lesson underneath the lessons.

  28. Begins well enough, but it’s heteronormative and gender-stereotypical, as the list goes on. Meh.

  29. Number 20 reminds me of a line I saw in a coffee table book once: “The greatest gift a man can give to his children is to love their mother.” Great list.

  30. #10. I opened doors, pulled out chairs, would drive 50 miles for her favorite ice cream, and much much more, especially around our daughter so that one her first requirements for who she picked later on would be ” you have to treat me as good as daddy treated mommy.” At first… At the (our) beginning. Things have gotten real bad between us, lots of mutual abuse and mistreatment, our daughter is not blind nor stupid, she sees our mutual rejection of each other. Now what do I tell my daughter and for that matter my son ?

  31. Regarding #3, science doesn’t expand your mind? Please.

    • David J Chisnell says:

      I’ve never understood where that nonsense came from. In real life it always seems like people with science backgrounds come up with the most creative solutions because they spend time solving real problems where you can get objective feedback. (I’m the 3 millionth person say this but it’s still true that feedback is the key to learning).
      I think it comes from the classical college where liberal arts was a general degree in art and literature when most people were illiterate, by the time I went to school the liberal arts were very dogmatic, you had to support a certain set of socially liberal views. I can’t imagine those people thinking for themselves.

  32. 10, 11, and 20 are all good ingredients for creating a frustrated and bitter nice guy who sits on the sidelines while other guys have many relationships with women.

    • Let me tell you something about my boyfriend regarding no. 10 and 11.He was what many would call a “Casanova” or a “Don Juan”. But he did everything while respecting those rules. I think that if he could have many relationships while respecting those rules then everybody can.
      You may ask me how I know this. That’s because I was his friend for quite some time before being his girlfriend.
      Regarding no.20 I will never be his mother. I am his friend, his girlfriend, I may be his wife someday and/or the mother of our children but I will never be his mother.
      If you are asking yourself if he agrees with what I’m typing the answer is yes.

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