Mike, the Sunshine Dad is the father to four toddlers. This makes him a frickin expert in all things toddler. He lately has observed some key advantages they hold. Here they are.
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Rules apply differently to toddlers, as anyone with a toddler can attest. They regularly say and do the most unexpected and socially unacceptable things. Often it’s humorous and innocent since they are just beginning to develop their understanding of the world. As it turns out, they can get away with things that an adult simply cannot. As I’ve watched my kids grow I’ve taken note of several things they (mostly) get away with that I would not be able to.
Announce potty trips
It’s not a big deal for a toddler (especially a recently potty trained toddler) to quit whatever it is they are doing and make a loud proclamation that they are going to the bathroom. They could be in the middle of a game, puzzle or the grocery store when all of a sudden they realize they need to go. They will just drop everything and boldly shout out “I need to go potty.” Then if they should happen to pass anyone on the way to the bathroom they will make sure to give them a heads-up too in case they missed the initial announcement “I’m going to the potty.” Can you just imagine if in the middle of checking my e-mails, grocery shopping or hanging out with friends I just stood up and yelled out “Hey everyone I’m going to the bathroom.” “Hey, you sir, I’m not sure if you heard me a moment ago, but I’m on my way to the potty!” On second thought, this sounds incredibly fun. I might need to give it a try!
High-five everyone after said potty beak
After said bathroom break my children often feel the need to announce what happened in the bathroom and give high-fives on their way back to whatever it was they were doing. “I made a giant stinky poopy!” *High-Five* I’m telling you what, if some dude comes out of a bathroom giving me a run down of what just happened with his hand up in the air, there is zero chance he’s getting a high-five from me.
Ask any question they want
Much to the embarrassment of parents everywhere, toddlers have not quite developed a “filter” for what they say yet. As a result toddlers will say and ask some of the most honest (if not brutal) questions. “Why is that man so hairy?” “Why did she get those ugly tattoos on her neck?” “Is she pregnant or fat?” I suppose there are adults who haven’t quite developed their filter either. These people usually aren’t pleasant to be around and it isn’t a great way to build friends. For a toddler though, it’s almost to be expected.
Take their clothes off anywhere
Thankfully I don’t have any streakers in my house but I know a few parents whose kids seem to find any excuse to take their clothes off. If a two year old drops their pants in a grocery store aisle it’s sort of funny. If I do it, I’m looking at jail time.
Fondle people accidentally
Toddlers haven’t fully grasped the concept of personal space and privacy yet and as a result their hands sometimes end up in places they maybe ought not to be. If a toddler is giving you a hug or trying to get your attention he/she is likely to grab, squeeze, hug or pull whatever they can get their hands on. You know they are innocent so it’s not a big deal. If I went around grabbing people in their private parts asking for an apple juice I might get punched in the throat.
Invade your personal space
In sticking with the theme of toddlers not grasping personal space, I regularly get visitors dropping by to say hello and ask me for milk or snacks while I’m sitting on the toilet. My response is almost always the same: “Really? Really? You don’t see me sitting here on the toilet? You couldn’t wait 4 minutes until I walk back out? You needed goldfish that bad?” Recently I actually found myself asking the kids if they needed anything because I was going to the bathroom for 5 minutes and I didn’t want to see or hear any of them during this time. If my memory serves me right, 3 of them followed me to the bathroom saying they needed to go too. Can you just imagine if a bunch of adults did this? I can just see the ridiculousness now: One woman stands up and says she needs to go to the bathroom and all the other ladies she is with say they will go to the bathroom with her too…
Wait what?
Originally appeared on the Sunshine Dad.
Photo: Flickr/Jeff Moreau
Our twin toddlers don’t yet speak (they’re two), and we’ve just started doing the potty training. They’ll say “pee pee!” and run into the bathroom. Then two minutes later, they’ll run back around the corner, stark naked, excitedly shouting “pee pee! pee pee!” Dutifully, I go look and sure enough, they’ve done it.
If I did anything like this, they’d lock me away in a padded cell.