Nothing prepares you for what you’ll experience.
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One of the happiest days of my life was finding out that my wife was pregnant. I couldn’t believe that I was going to be a father. The realization that I would be a special part of another human being’s life was mind blowing.
I always pictured the doctor like a quarterback under center waiting there for hours until the baby was born.
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You want the day to come, but you never feel there is enough time to prepare—there is a ton of books to read. People all around you are giving advice. There are still so many things being left out, especially on what happens in the delivery room. I watched Grey’s Anatomy and ER, so I thought I knew what to expect. Wrong!
I know everyone’s experiences are different, but here are seven things that no one tells you about the delivery room.
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1. Hey Doc- where are you? – For most of the delivery, the doctor isn’t there. There are other women who are having babies. I always pictured the doctor like a quarterback under center waiting there for hours until the baby was born. That wasn’t the case.
When my doctor showed up, he asked the nurse how my wife was doing. My wife was breathing heavily and pushing. Before the nurse was able to respond, he said, “I’ll be back.” Be back? I looked around nervously as if my daughter would pop out at any moment. That didn’t happen, of course, but I was always nervous once he left the room. It’s not like we were completely alone. The nurse is with you the entire time, and only towards the end will the doctor come and steal their glory.
2. Epidurals – My wife tried to give birth without an epidural, but it was too painful. Once it kicked in, she barely noticed she was in labor. This just might be my wife, but during her labor, she started a conversation with her nurse. When a contraction came, she would scream and start to push. Once the contraction subsided, she continued the sentence she was saying prior to the “interruption,” the nerve of the baby! I kept quiet. I didn’t want to be rude and interrupt.
3. There will be blood – No, the movie isn’t playing while your wife is giving birth. But, you will see things that you didn’t think would come out of a person. I am very squeamish and get light headed at the site of blood. My recommendation is to not point and scream, “Oh my Gosh!” Relax and take a deep breath. I don’t know if it was nerves or being over-tired, but I was able to tough it out. I knew I had to be strong and supportive for my wife. She was doing all the work, not me.
4. Is that a Dyson? The doctor arrived and my baby was crowning, which means that you can see the top of their head. The doctor was yelling, “Push!” My wife was screaming and pushing as hard as she could. Then, all of a sudden, I could hear a flick of a switch, and a loud whining, sucking sound. I looked to see what her doctor was doing. He had a vacuum on top of my babies head!
As my wife is pushing, he’s pulling—I was shocked. Once my daughter was finally out, he turned off the vacuum, which released it from her head. There was an indent of the suction cup from the vacuum on her head. “Is that going to go away?” I asked. The doctor said, “Yes, in a minute or so. Don’t worry, you’re a father!” I saw my daughter for the first time. As I was looking at her, I noticed someone walking into the room. I looked up; it was the janitor pointing to the vacuum. He asked the doctor, “Are you done with that?” I kid. I kid.
5. We’re not done yet – The placenta and all of its glory still need to come out after your baby is born. It’s like an encore performance at a concert that you don’t want to be at. All my wife wanted to do was hold our daughter, but she had to keep pushing. It didn’t take long, but it was just annoying. No, we didn’t take the placenta home with us, but we did ask.
6. You are never the same – Once you see your baby, and you lock eyes with them, you are never the same. There are no words to describe the joy I felt. They are now your world. You just met them a few seconds ago, but you would do anything for them. They put my daughter under a heating lamp to control her temperature. There she heard my voice, looked up, and grabbed my finger. It was a great moment, one that I will never forget.
7. Simply amazed – The range of emotions throughout this process is insane. When it’s all over, I simply couldn’t believe what my wife had accomplished. Yes, there are millions of children born every day, but once you actually see what they go through, you are in awe. You are utterly and totally amazed. All I wanted to do was wheel her around the hospital and tell everyone that I was the proudest husband/father ever. For the record, the medical staff frowns upon this.
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Take in the moments that will run through your mind for the rest of your life.
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Emotions run wild, but the end result will astonish you. As a husband, and a father, it’s important to remain calm and supportive. During the labor it’s not the time to give your opinion about what your wife should or shouldn’t do. Just be. Take in the moments that will run through your mind for the rest of your life.
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Flickr/ 天仁 包
Badge of honor? What inthe world gives you or any other male, the idea that aman hasabything to do with this woman’s childbirth? There is no “badge of honor” relating to childbirth? When a pregnant woman gives birth, that woman, does so clearly without the need of a man. The doctor is there for protection, in case a woman has complications. But women give birth automatically without any human being. That baby will emerge without the man’s help. It may be painful, but she can and will deliver her baby, without anyone’s help. Men need to get out of the… Read more »
This comment is so rude and selfish! The man is just describing his experience of being present during delivery. That’s it. True, men are not physically involved in childbirth, but emotionally are. Since I can never be a woman to know what it’s like in delivery room, I want to know what it’s like to feel as a man.
I remember the birth of my first-born like it was yesterday, even though it was over thirty-three years ago. My wife was only in labor for about seven hours, so we never made it past the labor room. The doctor wasn’t ready when mom and baby were, so I “caught” my baby-girl. Yes, it was messy, but I wouldn’t have been anywhere else. Even though my scrubs were a mess, and the nurses would have been happy to give me clean ones, I wore them for the rest of the day as my “badge of honor”. I was there for… Read more »
I am glad that I didn’t have to catch my daughter. If I had, I would have worn my scrubs as a badge of honor as well. I would have walked around the hospital so people would come up to me and ask, “What Happened?”
Thanks for the comment.
#3 . I didn’t get past the videos they showed at lamaze class. Now keep in mind that blood guts and gore doesn’t bother me. Due to some serious medical issues with my wife when we first got married, these things don’t bother me. BUT, when I saw the episiotomy … light headed was an understatement. 1st born was an emergency c-section, second was a planned c-section and I was in there for the entire event. All was fine while I was assisting the nurse with cleaning my son but when I turned and looked at my wife, I asked… Read more »
Fortunately, my wife didn’t have to have a c-section. Usually I see a drop of blood and my face goes white. I don’t know what I would have done if I saw her uterus. Sorry to hear about your wife’s complications. I hope all is well with your family.
I am glad you enjoyed the article. Thanks for the comment.