A Single Man’s Adoption Story

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About Brian Tessier

Brian J.Tessier Esq. is the Founder/CEO of We Hear The Children Inc. (Wehearthechildren.org). Tessier is the father, of two adopted sons and the author of “The Love Creates Family” series of books. He's a long-time advocate of single parent and LGBT adoptions, and sits as a member of the Human Rights Campaign's All Children-All Families Foundation.

Comments

  1. This is a really wonderful story–I am so happy for you and your sons, and not only to you sound like an amazing parent, you sound like an amazing advocate for single dads.

    You should send out this story to feministe.com, feministing.com, and jezebel.com to get the word out about your services. I have run into some men on those sites that would be interested.

    Thanks again. I will be sure to refer people to you.

    • Brian Tessier says:

      Thanks so much! I think as a father you lear to advocate! Getting the word out that the path to parenthood is possible. While I may be excellent at dealing with the stomach bug and monsters in the night ut as far as other posts I am a dummy! Thanks and let others know we are here to support their dreams!

  2. Celia Brown says:

    Brian- you are a role model for all parents, thank you for sharing your beautiful story!

  3. Thank you for sharing your journey, Brian!

    My partner and I have talked many times about adoption, but have allowed ourselves to succumb to the “what-ifs” like being too old, not being fully prepared, not having enough money, not making it through the process. Your story gives me a sense of excitement that it’s well worth the effort to see it through.

    Thanks again for the story and the information.

  4. Brian Tessier says:

    Michael, My pleasure! “If” is the biggest word in the english language and we can be dissuaded by those records that play in our head that tell us we can not do something. These things cause us to forgo dreams and wonderful possibilities, a few things, for any parent:
    1. You are never too old
    2. You will never be fully prepared, it is trial by fire.
    3. You will live by your needs and not your wants and kids don’t care about money and there is financial assistance in the process, depending on your state.
    4. You can and will make it through the process and we are hear to help.

    It is all worth it!

  5. Michael says:

    Brian, your story is winderful, gives me hope, but also scares me to an extent. I am partially adopted and it is something I have always wanted to do. As the years have passed and life changes, I decieded about 8 months ago that I was going to start the adoption process on my 37th birthday. Giving me two years to get things ready and hopefully within that year find a the child I am ment to adopt. Thank you for giving me hope.

  6. Edgar M says:

    Brian,
    I am so glad I ran into this article makes me really not want to give up wanting to be a father. Most of my friends would say that I am crazy for wanting to be a father, but I think that is one of lifes greatest joy. You are a true beacon of hope that a single male can in fact adopt.

    • Edgar, thanks so much! Never give up hope!

    • Hear, hear! Edgar, your entire comment expresses exactly what I wanted to say, too.

      Though I’ve been single for a while, I still hope to find a wife one day and adopt several children. Obviously I’ve considered the possibility of adopting as a single male, otherwise I wouldn’t have found this article. :-) I always assumed this would be effectively impossible, but this is encouraging. I’ve long felt my primary role in life is to be a dad. My heart burns the longer I go without the means to fulfill my purpose. This beautiful story renews my hope and refreshes my spirit. Brian, thank you for sharing.

  7. marline louis says:

    i want to adpot

  8. I was looking for articles about adoption and then I came to your site. BTW, I am 21 years old and has a stable job and good financial condition. I was really moved by your story. It inspired me to be a good father to my future son (or should I say sons). I am a filipino and I am Bisexual and I think I will not be able to get married that’s why since I was 16, I was already thinking of adopting a child. I want a boy because I really think that I will be a really good father to him. All the things that my father wasn’t able to show or give to me I will give it to my son. But all in all, THANK YOU! You inspired me a lot! I want to buy your book! Is there any possible way to do it? Btw, while I was reading your story I was crying especially in the part where your agency called you and told you they “found the one”. I am very happy for you and for your sons! I hope to hear from you soon! Any advice? :)

    • Bryan,

      Thanks for the comments and I appreciate the fact that you felt some sense of connection with my story. The best advice I can give you is to hold fast to your dreams and to never give up on them no matter what you are told you can make them happen. Being a father is the greatest role a man can play in this life.

      You can find the books online either through amazon or barnes and noble, but they are distributed and sold worldwide. Thanks again, your comments only help me continue to work toward helping others hold fast and achieve their dreams!

      Brian

  9. A beautiful post, these sterotyped ideas of what makes a parent help no one, men, women or children. I have written many times of the children lost because society assumes that women are born with the ability to care and nurture, the flip side of the sexist clap trap that made you jump through hoops to do something you are clearly cut out for.

    It also reminds me of something one of my partners wrote recently ( I am non monogmous) “Does Mark Kennedy wake up at that point in the night where absent dads in empty houses imagine they’ve heard a child’s colicky whimper?” It made me cry in its honesty and beauty.

    People tend to assume men do not yearn, do not carry that boundless love that is all powerful, and when it comes down to it that love is all children really need.

    Your son is blessed to have such a parent, and I hope you bring attention to the underlying prejudices in the whole adoption process.

  10. Lori Kinkler says:

    Thank you for sharing your story Brian! I am currently conducting a qualitative study on single adoptive dads (and moms) by choice. I haven’t heard from any dads yet (but I know they are out there!). In order to participate, dads must be currently pursuing adoption, or they can have adopted their first kid within the last year. Will you please help me spread the word? I am hoping to give a voice to stories like yours within the scholarly community, to hopefully influence policy change. Please contact me at [email protected] if interested!

  11. Thank you so much.

    Ive struggled with relationships and its refreshing to know that my dream can one day come true.

    I may only be young (21) , but i know i have nothing to be scared of now.

    Good luck to everyone facing this now and in the future, its true inspiration.

  12. I want to adopt so badly says:

    I’m a single woman and I have always wanted to adopt. I’m totally asexual but would love to find somebody who would like to form a family and adopt a child with me.

  13. Brian,

    As a single gay male myself, I have always been deeply motivated to embark on the adoption process. Your story truly gives me hope and the strength to push forward despite obstacles that may face me along the way. I recently had my 29th birthday and I feel more and more each day how much I am ready to be a father. I have wanted a son for as long as I can remember. I am quickly becoming financially stable and feel this is the best time as any to embark on this journey. Do you have any advice on how I should begin this process?

  14. Rafael Torres says:

    Hi Brian! My name is Rafael, thanks for sharing your story. Since little I always wanted to be a dad! But always thought won’t be possible because I’m gay!! Now I’m in that crossroad where I feel I’m ready to start my family. I have a boyfriend we have talked about tiny the doesn’t want to have kids. But I’m so determine to have a so I don’t care to be single. I’ve been reading a lot a About it… And it’s expensive and it seems so hard and such a long wait process! But reading your story proof me I can do it! Do you help single people to adopt? Let me know!!!

    Thanks so much

  15. i’m 25, and not keen on getting married…but i can’t help but think whether i’ll want to have a child when i’m in my 40s…hopefully by that time, society will have progressed enough to allow single straight men to adopt kids..

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Good Men Project Magazine is currently featuring a story entitled “A Single Man’s Adoption Story” written by Brian Tessier. In addition to being a proud parent of two boys, Brian is a member of [...]

  2. [...] Below is my favorite quote from the article. You can read the entire piece here. [...]

  3. [...] Originally Posted by wyverary I always thought that if I wanted children I would stay single and adopt one. Alas, adoption is a long and (from what I have heard) difficult and very, very expensive way to go. Lacking a uterus, it would unfortunately be my only option. While I know single mothers who have adopted, I do not know how much more difficult it would be as a single (though asexual) man–especially considering I would likely opt for a girl. In any case, you are (both) definitely right in that financial stability is an imperative prerequisite. Other thoughts? It might be harder, but single men do adopt. A Single Man [...]

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