Boys today have access to super-stimulating porn that may lead to erectile dysfunction, social anxiety, and other problems.
About five years ago, limitless quantities of free, shocking, explicit videos became widely available to savvy Internet users with high-speed connections. Alas, some of the planet’s most talented computer wizards are youngsters (or their buddies). Passing around outrageous pornographic video clips is now a popular social activity.
Such videos are often so extreme that they dumbfound even the most free-thinking parents. According to psychiatrist 
Norman Doidge in The Brain That Changes Itself, porn grows more shocking because today’s porn users tend to habituate to material viewed. That is, today’s super-stimulating porn, instead of satisfying more, numbs the brain’s pleasure response. Then the user needs something even more shocking to get aroused—which the porn industry readily delivers. Who’s gonna get excited by Pac-Man when he has been playing Grand Theft Auto or Halo 3?
Increasingly, extreme porn is a problem. The more novel, startling, forbidden, or disgusting a video is, the cooler it is to pass around, and the more it excites a viewer’s brain (specifically, the reward circuitry). Climax then reinforces the “value” of the material that produces the climax. So, kids’ brains are now rewiring to value brain-jolting material, for which nothing in their (or most anyone’s) experience has prepared them. The constant flood of novel material keeps dopamine levels in the reward circuitry high while viewing continues, reinforcing the lesson that these images are valuable and important. Norepinephine released in response to shocking images also appears to reinforce this learning.
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While video games also flood the brain with dopamine, it’s evident that sexual content activates additional aspects of the brain’s reward circuitry. As kids mature, sexual reproduction signals trump video-game thrills.
The brain changes that follow repeated stimulation can have surprising effects. Young men report that their sexual tastes sometimes morph in unexpected directions, and that they become less responsive to normal flirting.
Since I began sharing the correlations men are discovering between heavy Internet porn use and symptoms like erectile dysfunction and social anxiety, I’ve been hearing from younger and younger guys struggling with such symptoms. (As an aside, users who manage to avoid extreme stimulation do not seem to report unusual erectile dysfunction problems.) Here’s a sample:
I’m hoping to recover and get aroused more around girls. I have been going insane thinking that my sex life is over. I am 15 years old and I’ve been masturbating since I was 12. It started out as just simple videos but now I have been getting into more extreme stuff. … Can you explain to me the basic steps I need to take to recover please? … I have to ask this so that my mind can rest and I can feel confident. Is there any permanent damage done to me? If I successfully quit porn will my limb stay up when I become sexually active in the future? Or will I have ED issues?
Science has not investigated or verified the answers to his questions. First, who can find porn virgins of a suitable age to test? Second, who deliberately wants to expose kids to hyperstimulating, abnormal, erotic videos to see what happens in their brains, or how it alters their sexual response? No one is measuring the ways in which extreme videos may subtly be changing brain sensitivity, thereby altering libido and sexual tastes over time.
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Again, it’s likely that the missing insights revolve around an ancient mechanism found in all mammalian brains: the reward circuit. It has long been known that overstimulating it with drugs can cause increased cravings. Now, research is revealing that non-drug, “natural” things, like junk food, can alter this part of the brain like drugs—numbing the response to normal stimuli.
If a guy has been viewing porn videos since puberty, how would he know if his (lack of) response to potential sweethearts, his kinky tastes, or his masturbation cravings are normal for him? He has nothing with which to compare. Sexologist Jakob Pastötter gives an example of how porn shapes perception:
When Kinsey did his studies in the ’40s, not even gay men practiced anal sex frequently. The first changes occurred during the ’70s in the gay scene and then, especially under the influence of the so-called gonzo pornography, also in heterosexual circles. Suddenly, anal sex seems to have become quite a common practice. And accordingly, sex counselors report that not too long ago the first boys inquired, “How can I persuade my girlfriend to have anal sex?” Then, a few years later, came the first girls: “How can I dissuade my boyfriend from anal sex?” Now, the girls come and ask the sex counselors, “What pills can I take to prevent it hurting like hell?” All this in a period of only fifteen years, which began when anal sex was introduced in pornography as a common sex variant, in the mid-’90s approximately.
Today, it is not unheard of for boys to become hooked on autoerotic asphyxiation, bondage, or rape porn. Psychologists have published accounts of otherwise straight boys who developed unsettling obsessions when desensitized to vanilla imagery—and then felt such intense, pervasive anxiety that their real-life relationships were compromised.
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What’s a parent to do?
Most parents cross their fingers, remind themselves that they survived encounters with Playboy, and hope their kids will figure things out for themselves.
But today’s porn is nothing like Playboy. It’s video, so the viewer can more easily imagine himself in a role—especially in modern, envelope-pushing “gonzo”-style films, where the actors hold the cameras. It’s always novel, and there’s no limit to how much can be viewed. In other words, not all masturbation is equal.
Masturbation based on imagining affectionate contact with a real potential mate is stimulating enough, especially for a teenager. But masturbation based on shocking stimuli, by gradually numbing the brain, can shift the user’s priorities away from real potential mates.
Should caregivers shame kids or imply they are bad people for watching today’s porn? Certainly not. But caregivers should tell kids to avoid Internet porn as much as possible, and why. Even if science is lagging behind in reliable research, anecdotal evidence of Internet porn’s risks is increasing. It’s also becoming clear that there are unmistakable benefits from leaving it behind.
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So, what do you tell kids?
1. Find a balance. Tell kids that masturbation is normal, and that it’s beneficial to work out a schedule that doesn’t escalate. Tell them to experiment with different intervals of say, once or twice a week, or even less. Point out that sometimes less frequent masturbation actually results in less overall frustration. Sticking with a schedule will require some self-discipline, a skill kids will use throughout life. Consider teaching your child one of the many ancient techniques for redistributing sexual energy.
2. Understand the escalation problem. Point out that our brains are generally calibrated for genitals achieving normal degrees of stimulation and arousal. Once we move to new thresholds of stimulation (today’s super-porn or sex toys), we risk making our brains temporarily less sensitive to subtler, ordinary stimuli.
3. Stick to natural stimuli. Tell kids to masturbate based on their own imaginings of real potential mates and realistic, affectionate sexual encounters. If that isn’t getting them to climax, it’s probably because their brains haven’t returned to full sensitivity since their previous climax. Nonetheless, it is better to wait than to turn to today’s porn to get the job done.
4. Porn is unrealistic. Point out that a partner’s satisfaction is not dependent upon the huge, unflagging erection or other characteristics of a porn star. Nor is a man’s pleasure dependent upon the hairless genitals, breast implants, or degradation of his partner. Paint a mental picture of normal sex for your child.
5. Masturbation is not the ideal mood medicine. Because climax offers temporary relief, it seems like a cure for anxiety. Kids can easily get in the habit of masturbating to regulate mood. Unfortunately, too frequent climax can make tension worse over the following days. Kids need other ways to regulate mood. Vigorous exercise, friendly interaction with others, trusted companionship, time in nature, affectionate touch/hugs, doing something creative, singing, time with pets, meditation, and service to others have all been shown to help reduce stress and/or regulate mood—probably because they improve brain balance.
6. Avoid threats and shaming. Risky activities release extra adrenaline and dopamine into the brain, and are therefore paradoxically perceived as more “valuable.” (The brain’s primitive reward circuitry assesses value based upon how much exciting dopamine is released in connection with an activity.) Threats of future punishment and warnings against “sin” therefore increase porn’s power to overstimulate the brain, making subsequent porn binging more likely.
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If you cannot think of a good way to open the porn discussion with your child, you may want to watch this free YouTube series together: Things You Didn’t Know About Porn. It helps kids distinguish between the urges coming from the reward circuitry and the self-control available from the analytical part of their brain.
Research shows that a strong, supportive parental relationship can protect kids against risky behavior, even in those who are genetically vulnerable. So, whether or not you find the above suggestions helpful, do find a way to discuss today’s gonzo-porn videos with your child without shaming or threatening. Encourage your child to ask questions. Accept that ultimately he will have to make his own decisions. All you can do is offer solid information, your loving support, and a healthy example. That may be all your child needs to steer toward sexual balance.
About Marnia Robinson
thanks for this important article Marnia. it’s a topic that we as parents don’t talk about enough but is very real and accelerating.
Tell a kid to limit masturbation to one time a week? Marnia, were you ever a teenage boy?
*smile* I believe in aiming high. Actually, the more I learn about the brain, the more I wonder what constituted “normal masturbation” for our hunter-gatherer ancestors. It may be that the stress/isolation of modern life, combined with increasingly extreme sexual stimuli, has led to habits that are more extreme than they generally were throughout history. See “Masturbation, Fantasy and Captivity” http://yourbrainonporn.com/masturbation-fantasy-and-captivity The significance of this point isn’t that our current habits are “wrong,” but that our brains may not have evolved to handle the neurochemical bombardment of constant stimulation.
As a 35-year-old man, I can attest to the possibility of abstaining at any age. In may case, I did not abstain as a teen because nobody talked to me about it. It was my secret and I had free reign to indulge in my senses. And yet even at that age, when I did abstain for even a week (which was hard) I felt amazing things in my mind and body. I actually wished that someone would talk to me about this subject so that I could control my life even more. Unfortunately, whenever I brought it up with my dad, he would change the subject. I went back into my lonely cave. (!) I have not discussed this with anyone else.
To the original poster, I suggest that you or someone else talk to this young man. Let him feel it is first of all not wrong to masturbate. But show him alternatives and discuss what is a healthy relationship to sex. This page is a great jumping off point for information.
Marina, I cant say enough. This is an amazing article and I am glad to see it online. Thank you.
Well, after 35 years of trying I finally got it down to a good schedule – once a day. Plus sex with my wife. Except those relapses where it goes to 3, or 4. Or maybe 5. A day.
So good luck with the teenage jerk-off scheduling.
The genie is already out of the bottle. They’re doing things I never thought about. Good luck on the child rearing.
Fantastic and important piece, Ms. Robinson. It should be required reading for any parent of a teen or tween boy. (…and I agree with TO above, once a week is probably unreasonable!)
I’ve heard all this before… from another lady. I am 45 and I can tell you from experience that it doesn’t work that way. I would play PacMan before many new, state-of-the-art video games simply because the later completely missed the point about what makes a good game. To compare PacMan with Halo 3 is not fair because Halo is new and good. Quite often, my boys would go back to some really old game, ignoring many new ones. Same thing about porn and real sex – one can watch hours of senseless pounding and screaming and get no reaction and yet, be completely aroused by a touch from their partners. Once the novelty fades, people go back to “proven” ways of sexual intimacy. That being said, we do evolve socially and that includes sexual habits. Just because some teenagers expressed their fear over “too much masturbating” to porn doesn’t give any credentials to this type of claims. Boys have always had all sort of fears related to masturbation and that’s not going to change.
There seems to be a lot of judgment in this article. And I will always have a problem with any article that asserts what’s ‘normal’ and what isn’t.
I enjoyed this article, especially because of the reasonable, rational things (except for the frequency argument) that a parent can do with a child.
What I find somewhat distressing is this line – “Today, it is not unheard of for boys to become hooked on autoerotic asphyxiation, bondage, or rape porn. Psychologists have published accounts of otherwise straight boys who developed unsettling obsessions when desensitized to vanilla imagery…” This implies to me a judgment of those desires. Yes, some people are attracted to the extremeness of those activities. But some are genuinely kinky and find themselves turned on by rape for many other reasons. Bondage has become an almost vanilla image in itself; ask almost any couple and they’ll mention some small interest in being tied up. I also worry about the use of “straight” boys. I’m giving the benefit of the doubt and reading “straight” as “good, reasonable kid on the straight-and-narrow,” and not “heterosexual,” because if it were the latter, that would constitute an incredible leap that only “not-straight” boys are interested in these extreme images, and that any good, respectful, het boy would never possibly be turned on by overt displays of power and domination.
This site has never professed to being Kink-friendly. It may be hard to sell that to the mainstream populace while trying to talk about being Good Men. To many, it seems somewhat irreconcilable; it’s really not. Statements like the one I referenced make me worry about the men who do have kinkier fantasies, and still see messages where if they are considered “extreme,” they are always wrong. Where is the man who loves his wife, but still wants to play out a consensual, organized, SAFE rape scene supposed to turn? If even the best place I’ve found for good advice on being a healthier man won’t accept you, where else can your self-worth turn?
I think you are missing the main point. The article is not moralizing on “good” versus “bad” types of sexual practices, it’s really about alterations in the reward circuitry. It really comes down to escalation – one sign of a numbed pleasure response. A decreased pleasure response is due to a decline in dopamine receptors and less dopamine released in response to the same old stimuli. Individuals need more and more stimulation to get aroused, or to get off. The two ways a porn user can escalate are:
1) Increase time spent watching
2) View more extreme sexual activities – way beyond what you describe
This second method of escalation is often quite troubling to the user – and that’s the important point. It’s not yours, or mine, or society’s view of the “kink,” it’s the users view. So if a young man is heterosexual (and really knows it), yet can only get it up for transsexual porn, it’s very disturbing for him. Key point – for him.
If we can stick with what’s occurring in the user’s brain, and stay away from projections of morality, we can see the problem more clearly.
*So if a young man is heterosexual (and really knows it), yet can only get it up for transsexual porn, it’s very disturbing for him. Key point – for him.*
I agree with this point. However, once a person realizes what is going on, understands and accepts it, the problem could evaporate.
I am a woman who had, from a very early age, been turned on by rape fantasy. Even as a teenager exploring my very first erotic images and writing, vanilla porn had no appeal. Consistent with the escalation principle, as I got older, some of the scenarios I read began to border on torture rather than just reluctance.
And yes, I spent years wondering if I was normal, sane or a good person. I read a great deal on fantasies and eventually learned that as long you clearly divide fantasy from reality in your mind, it’s fine. My anxiety about the nature of my fantasies stopped and I am even learning to share them with my loved ones. I really enjoy vanilla sex with my partners. And when I am alone, I masturbate to scenarios that I would not wish on the worst criminals in history and now, I am okay with it.
I hope that if you are claiming that fantasizing rape scenes is normal and healthy, that you are the on the receiving end of that rape-and thus in control of the progression of that fantasy. If not, I’d be interested to hear how you think that the desire to hurt and violate someone is normal? Do you fantasize about raping two year old little girls? Four year old little boys? Physically disabled women? Is that normal too? Or is it only normal to get off thinking about violating, hurting and humiliating adult women? While no one has a lock on defining normal, caring, sensitive men who truly respect women and see them as their equal, do not fantasize about hurting women, or get off watching women get hurt. They find it repulsive. This would be because they are intelligent and sensitive enough to know that millions of women around the world and throughout history have suffered extreme and despicable acts of sexual violence at the hands of animals (men who rape) and would rather not be associated with those vile acts or vile humans.
Dead on, Ingrid.
Desert hiker, so ingrid’s not-uncommon rape fantasies are responsible for the history of sexual violence worldwide even though she pointed out the separation of fantasy and reality? Interesting, sounds like you must being speaking as someone without a modicum of self control…
Great article!
I had a lengthy response written to the commenters here. I thought it was pretty good. Then the page autorefreshed and it’s all gone. Lol.
Short of it…. Just because it’s available doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. Far too many young boys lack the guidance of a strong male role model in their lives to be able to help navigate the fringe, fetish and filth the internet has to offer. Brings to mind the old adage, “Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.”
I have sons.
“Far too many young boys lack the guidance of a strong male role model in their lives to be able to help navigate the fringe, fetish and filth the internet has to offer.”
I think this attitude misses how good the internet has been for people with less mainstream desires. I think it’s wonderful that people of all tastes can find porn and likeminded people on the internet. No matter what you’re into there’s a community out there to help you find it, help you accept yourself if you need that, and form community values and safe boundaries, as with BDSM.
It’s normal for young people to experiment and try out different things, it’s healthy. They’ll work out what what works for them – it’s not up to some ‘strong male role model’ to tell them what their sexuality should be, or which desires are legitimate. People don’t get to choose their orientation or kinks, and nor do their parents, they discover them.
Young children trying to figure themselves out are vulnerable to perversions as well that they may not have otherwise gotten involved with, yet were exposed to and found themselves unable to control. Just like junk food, sometimes the most unhealthy things look attractive and though they may not be good for us, they fill some need/void which could/should otherwise be filled by something healthy and nutritious. Heck, impulse control in many males isn’t even fully developed in the prefrontal cortex until around 25 years of age.
Your response makes it appear as though we are slaves to our more primal instincts and I just don’t subscribe to that. I’m the one in in control of my penis, not the other way around. I’m so sick of people, regardless of orientation living out this “the heart wants what the heart wants” garbage and just using that as a scapegoat to a lack of self-control and personal responsibility.
And as a father to two sons, a man with a great passion for cultural antrhopology and some other “ologies” IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL that men of wisdom and character are there to guide sons through the murky waters of their sexuality. And notice, I said “guide” just as I did in my first response. Never did I say that we should tell them what to think or do but guidance is absolutely necessary. It’s no less necessary than the guidance many people need to learn how to be married, or to be effective CEOs, or to be…. counselors. Do you see the common thread here? People, need guidance to deal with people. It is not innate. Just watch toddlers play with each other. Not all, but many, will hit, bite, scratch, etc just because they want what the other has. Humans learn the better parts of their humanity by interaction with other humans. Same for men learning to be men (in their culture) and women. I’ve never observed a wolf learn to be a wolf by becoming part of a lion’s pride.
‘sex counselors report that not too long ago the first boys inquired, “How can I persuade my girlfriend to have anal sex?” – a few years later, came the first girls: “How can I dissuade my boyfriend from anal sex?” Now, the girls come and ask the sex counselors, “What pills can I take to prevent it hurting like hell?” Here we have a great example of how you cannot ‘treat’ dominant sexual practices (porn) by isolating an individual, and their brains for that matter, from the culture that produces and condones those practises. This article shows just how sexuality is contigent on historical and cultural shifts and is therefore constructed (because sexuality is something that is never static) so we wont really change these dominant version of sexuality until we examine why it is that our culture produces them. You cannot just look at the effects of boys without looking at adult men and ask why do they want to produce images and try and persuade women to do things that really hurt them? We need to ask: why do men want to pay women to appear in films so they can be aroused by humiliating and hurting them. Why do men get off on women being hurt (real or fantasy) or degraded, dominated and humilated? This is as much about men as it is about protecting boys. I’m sometimes really shocked at mainstream mens mags nowadays who promote prostitution, lap dancing and all sex industries who often deal in the misery of poor and ethnic migrant woman and girls. From my experience, most men simpy are not interested to hear of what really goes on behind the scenes in porn and the sex industry. Why?
Nice point. I’d argue that porn itself isn’t the causal problem, but a product that simply mirrors the already existent misogyny that came not from porn but centuries of normalized subjugation. The images are produced because there’s a market for it, not the other way around.
The sex industry in all its forms needs to be legalized and regulated the hell out of. Just like with the food industry, consumers can enjoy a service while being conscious of the ethics of production. The more we view the sex industry with shame, the easier it is to ignore the basic human rights of the industry’s workers, many of whom are looking for a way to more safely do their jobs—not a way out. In the same vein, we shouldn’t conflate fetish with abuse.
Many aspects of the industry function with a clean conscience. We can vote with our wallets.
The author doesn’t like male sexuality. That’s cool. No problem. She apparently doesn’t like the fact that women are losing some control over the expression of how and when men have sexual pleasure. The argument isn’t new, actually. Naomi Wolf made the same argument, but argued that porn was bad for girls’ self-esteem (http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/index1.html). But, as has been said before, “If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent’s intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you” (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/279126743.html). I would talk with a grain of salt anything said by a person that advocates telling post-pubescent boys to maintain a masturabation schedule.
The woman is obviously insane.
First of all, turn of the damn autorefresh. It’s messing up people’s comments.
Second, I wanted to say exactly this.
As soon as I read “Passing around outrageous pornographic video clips is now a popular social activity.” I knew the entire article had to be bullshit and the author probably doesn’t know anything more about social media than what television tells her.
Kids know some of that porn isn’t ever really going to happen to them, they’re fantasies and the people making the movies are doing their job. A job. It’s not real. Kids aren’t stupid. They’re probably more wise about the ways of the internet than you are, Marnia.
Penn and Teller did a great episode about this. I couldn’t find a link to the first half of it ( War on Porn ) but here’s a link to the second half: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDYZOaTaK2A
Watch it, learn from it, love it.
What it comes down to: There are no conclusive studies, at all. NO, CONCLUSIVE, STUDIES.
Also telling a teenage boy to masturbate only once ( or less! ) a week is simply cruel and will probably lead to more “weird” behavior and sneaking around and doing it anyway than him being able to masturbate at will.
Lastly, it always seems to be the guys fault. When guys want or do something with sex and women ( read: this author ) doesn’t want to have anything to do with it, it must mean that guys are weird and are getting numbed by internet porn.
I have a lot more I want to add to this, but the autorefresh is probably going to delete it all again so I’m just going to hush up.
I agree with magdelyn, this woman is insane.
magdelyn says: The author doesn’t like male sexualityActually magdelyn, the author does like male sexuality. I’m her husband and you are so mistaken.
It’s simply amazing how people project their own nonsense whenever they read an article about Internet pornography.
It would be great if you and others would confine yourself to the content, rather than employ your Fox news style of spin. You might want to read the article before you cut and paste your patented response. Naomi Wolfe did not cover the science of addiction and Marnia did not discuss girls’ self esteem.
Just for the record, we are far-left liberal in our political views, have no religious affiliation, and strongly support free speech – including pornography.
As for Ron saying there are no conclusive studies – there are NO studies on the brains of porn users. No scientist is willing to study Internet porn – undoubtedly in part due to shrill hyperbole such as we see here.
What is safe to study are the effects of natural reinforcers (highly palatable foods, gambling, videos games) on the brain. When consumed at high rates all of these natural reinforcers can alter the typical brain in ways similar to addictive drugs.
The main change is a decline in dopamine receptors (D2) in the reward circuitry of the brain.(“Study shows compulsive eating shares addictive biochemical mechanism with cocaine, heroin abuse” http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2010-03/sri-ssc032310.php)That means natural reinforcers can be addictive if the stimulation is supranormal, i.e., higher than what our ancestors evolved with. (Ever wonder why 65% of Americans are overweight, and 30% obese ?)
Masturbation is far more stimulating to the reward circuitry than sausage or Twinkies – twice the levels of dopamine. So it is biologically foolish to argue one cannot get addicted to internet porn. Especially when the common practice for porn users is to edge for long periods (upping their dopamine) as they click from one novel visual to the next.
And, one day, research will bear this out with respect to Internet porn use. Reality is reality, even before science catches up with it.
P.S. – read my response to nyxerebos below.
From reddit:
“That is, today’s super-stimulating porn, instead of satisfying more, numbs the brain’s pleasure response. Then the user needs something even more shocking to get aroused—which the porn industry readily delivers.”
This is such tired bullshit. It gets debunked again and again, and people who are uncomfortable with extreme porn just gotta keep harping on with this nonsense.
Me, I like sugar in my coffee, and I think one spoon is the right amount, maybe a little honey now and then to switch things up, or some rooibos on a cold day or in a calm mood, or a little camomile at a friends house. I don’t need more and more sugar every time to keep tasting it.
It’s the same with porn – my tastes have been about the same for a decade now, I enjoyed the odd playboy when they were all I could get as a kid, but people generally have some set of fantasies or situations that turn them on most and they keep coming back to.
Some fraction of people have had extreme and disturbing fantasies for a long time now – look at the historical popularity of the Marquis de Sade’s work. That doesn’t mean softcore porn is some sort of gateway drug, just that as pornographers push boundaries they get closer to the fantasies someone already has and would like to see depicted. People have always been kinky, the internet makes this more transparent, more acceptable, and more visible to parents who are already uncomfortable coming to terms with their kids sexuality.
Yes, kids pass around copies of 2Girls1Cup.avi and other shockingly weird stuff, that doesn’t mean they’re fapping to it or become dependent on it to get off. The version of this trope that porn leads to desensitization and ever more transgressive material – leading inevitably to people needing child porn and snuff to get off – is bunk. Reactionary, moralistic bunk which religious conservatives and certain (minority) feminists are eager to latch on to and perpetuate because it suits their existing prejudices against porn. It gives rationale to their prejudices.
tl;dr you can take my softcore lesbian cheesecake when you pry it from my cold dead mouse hand.
nyxerebos – Did you even read the article? Anyhow you seem to need some more education.
Drugs aren’t the only Addictions
It’s common knowledge that dopamine-raising substances, such as alcohol or cocaine, can create addictions. Yet only a minority (about 15%) of humans and rats that use addictive drugs ever get addicted. So, are the rest of us safe from addiction? When it comes to substance abuse, perhaps yes. Yet when it comes to unrestricted access to superstimulating natural reinforcers, the answer may be no, although certainly not everyone gets hooked.
The reason hyper-stimulating versions of food and sex can hook us—even if we’re not otherwise susceptible to addiction—is that our reward circuitry evolved to drive us toward food and sex, not drugs. Today’s high fat/sugar foods (65% of Americans are overweight) and Internet porn (you’re reading this), have the potential to hook even more people than do drugs. Both override our brain’s satiation mechanisms – the I’m done feeling – because calories and fertilization opportunities are your genes top priorities.
In many ways Internet porn can be more addicting:
Certainly easy acces, no cost, and privacy all contribute to Internet porn use. But it’s unique abilty to keep dopamine elevated for long periods make it appealing, and potentially addictive.
Recovery sites often stress the addictiveness of Internet porn is dues to masturbation ad orgasm getting linked to explicit and shocking visuals.
1) It affords extreme novelty – 100’s of new sexual partners per session. Novelty is highly stimulating to reward circuitry. It is not Dad’s static, finite Playboy. Porn users often report that “real sex” is now boring.
2) Unlike food and drugs, in which there is a limit to consumption, there are no physical limitations to Internet porn consumption. The brain’s natural satiation mechanisms are not activated, unless one comes. Even then, the user can click to something more shocking to become aroused again
3) With food and drugs, one can only escalate (a marker of an addiction process) by consuming more. With Internet porn, one can escalate with novel “partners,” and by viewing new and unusual sexual practices. It’s quite common for addict to move to ever more extreme porn.
4) Unlike drugs and food, the brains natural aversion system doesn’t get activated with Internet porn. Aversion is when you don’t like how a drug makes you feel, which is quite common.
Recent research reveals that behavioral addictions (tasty food, gambling, video games) and substance addictions create the same result – a drop in dopamine receptors in the reward circuit. This is a major hallmark of all addictions. With fewer dopamine receptors, it’s a lot harder to stimulate the reward circuitry. This leads to what all addicts experience – a numbed pleasure response.
Unlike nearly all other addictions, the brains of Internet porn addicts have not been study. However, it’s illogical to conclude that Internet porn cannot change the brain, when it’s been proven that junk food can.
Yes, I read the article, and, no, I don’t buy into this notion of porn addiction. I’ve known real addicts – people with real and debilitating substance dependency. Overeating and compulsive masturbation are not the same thing. Your assertion that porn and junk food “have the potential to hook even more people than do drugs” because of how our reward system evolved makes no sense, because drugs act on it directly producing experiences much more intense than occur naturally in response to sensory input. Ask a crack user if you don’t believe me.
When you say “Even then, the user can click to something more shocking to become aroused again.”, you’re implying that more shocking is more arousing, which would only be true if you weren’t looking at what you really wanted to to begin with, or perhaps you’ve somehow fetishised the taboo aspect porn and get off on transgressing society’s boundaries.
To quote this webmd article: http://men.webmd.com/guide/is-pornography-addictive
> Erick Janssen, PhD, a researcher at the Kinsey Institute … disputes that people who look at porn typically progress in such a way. “There is absolutely no evidence to support that,” he tells WebMD.
> “I think of porn addiction as a label that’s used to put down behavior that’s disapproved of socially,” Violet Blue, a sex educator and author of The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos, tells WebMD. “A lot of it is shaming masturbation.”
Since ‘porn addiction’ is not classified in the DSM, and psychologists debate wehter it exists at all, I’m going to assume it’s not a major problem and social hangups about sex are where the real issue lies. The OP wants to limit boy’s masturbation, maybe questioning why that is would be a good start.
Porn addiction is an addiction when it interferes with your regular life, gets in the way of relationships and jobs, and just in general turns your life upside down. You’ve been hiding under a rock if you seriously do no believe porn addiction exists. Porn addiction has been known to ruin marriages because people (primarily men) often prefer porn over the company of their partners and families. I watched an episode of True Life where a woman kicked her husband out because she found porn somewhere in the house and discovered he was still watching copious amounts of porn on the internet—he was allowing porn to interfere with quality time with his wife. Even when he was kicked out, he still continued to watch copious amounts of porn, and it was staggering just how much he watched. He knew it was bad and tearing his family apart, but he himself couldn’t pull away form his porn addiction without proper outside help. If this isn’t considered porn addiction, then I don’t know what is.
You can become addicted to anything. An addiction is generally considered an addiction when it interferes with your life, and though it’s only a small percentage of porn consumers, porn addiction is real and often interferes with the consumer’s life.
nyxerebos – You are simply wrong, as new research clearly shows that both highly palatable foods and drugs cause similar changes in the reward circuitry of animals and humans.
So tell me – which is more stimulating: ice cream, or masturbating to internet porn?
FIRST STUDY – demonstrates you are incorrect.
Intense Sweetness Surpasses Cocaine Reward
PLoS One. 2007 Aug 1;2(1):e698.
Magalie Lenoir#, Fuschia Serre#, Lauriane Cantin, Serge H. Ahmed*
Refined sugars (e.g., sucrose, fructose) were absent in the diet of most people until very recently in human history. Today overconsumption of diets rich in sugars contributes together with other factors to drive the current obesity epidemic. Overconsumption of sugar-dense foods or beverages is initially motivated by the pleasure of sweet taste and is often compared to drug addiction. Though there are many biological commonalities between sweetened diets and drugs of abuse, the addictive potential of the former relative to the latter is currently unknown.
Nevertheless, the present study clearly demonstrates in rats–an animal species that readily self-administer cocaine and that develops most of the signs of addiction following extended drug access [34]–[36]–that the reward value of cocaine is bounded and does not surpass taste sweetness–a sensory-driven reward.
The absolute preference for intense sweetness may also point to the existence of brain signaling pathways that are more powerful than the mesostriatal dopamine pathway in controlling reward-oriented behavior and that taste sweetness would activate more vigorously than cocaine
SECOND STUDY – demonstrates changes in the brain that mimic those that occur wjhen addicted drugs – like crack. There are several like this.
Dopamine D2 receptors in addiction-like reward dysfunction and compulsive eating in obese rats
Paul M Johnson & Paul J Kenny
Nature Neuroscience doi:10.1038/nn.2519 28 March 2010
We found that development of obesity was coupled with emergence of a progressively worsening deficit in neural reward responses. Similar changes in reward homeostasis induced by cocaine or heroin are considered to be crucial in triggering the transition from casual to compulsive drug-taking. Accordingly, we detected compulsive-like feeding behavior in obese but not lean rats, measured as palatable food consumption that was resistant to disruption by an aversive conditioned stimulus. Striatal dopamine D2 receptors (D2Rs) were downregulated in obese rats, as has been reported in humans addicted to drugs. Moreover, lentivirus-mediated knockdown of striatal D2Rs rapidly accelerated the development of addiction-like reward deficits and the onset of compulsive-like food seeking in rats with extended access to palatable high-fat food.
These data demonstrate that overconsumption of palatable food triggers addiction-like neuroadaptive responses in brain reward circuits and drives the development of compulsive eating. Common hedonic mechanisms may therefore underlie obesity and drug addiction.
Nyxerebos- wrong again.
The new DSM-5 will have excessive pornography use under hypersexuality disorders.
It’s simply amazes me that you and other that have no experience communicating with porn addicts continue to comment as if you have some secret knowledge. We have been listening to their stories for 5 years and 3 things are clear:
1 – It is an addiction by all definitions – and includes dependence, tolerance and withdrawal symptoms.
2- Many very healthy individuals, who have had no other addiction, are getting hooked.
3- It’s extremely widespread, this I know. I can’t prove, but you can’t prove otherwise – because no one is studying it.
Ok, so what I’m seeing here is an article written entirely and admittedly based on anecdotal evidence. Noting that and saying there should be more study? Legit.
Noting that, and having a particular sample of anecdotal evidence that, by its very nature, cannot be said to be representative, and then encouraging parents to act in certain ways? That’s weird and scientifically irresponsible, not to mention ethically gray.
I’m 24. I’m in the age range where I see this increasingly extreme porn; I’m not all about passing it around, but it’s gotten passed around to me. The appeal for everyone I know who’s seen it is entirely separate from any sexualization. It should probably not even be called “porn”.
The argument you seem to be making is that some people somewhere are sex addicts, and that they may follow a pattern of increasing need, like other addictions. I can go along with that. The conclusions being made frm that, however, are ridiculous. People have different natural sex drives, and I’m really against anyone saying that all people should really probably only masturbate so often. We don’t tend to diagnose other addictions purely on how much alcohol, for instance, is consumed. A big guy can drink more. We look at things like whether the drinking is having increasingly negative effects on a person’s life that are going ignored.
Actually, there’s a good bit of science behind the points made in this article. The anecdotes are just for color and interest. If you have some time, check out this slideshow my husband just put together. http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series
You seem to be oblivious to the hordes of men who are seeking help from counselors and 12 step programs because they have lost (loved ones left them) their lovers, their wives, their kids, sometimes even their boyfriends– due to the inability to control their urge to watch porn. There are some great first hand accounts out there–from college educated, bright, professional men young and old, who would basically confirm that you are full of crap.
“Who’s gonna get excited by Pac-Man when he has been playing Grand Theft Auto or Halo 3?”
Ms. Robinson, I’ve played games like Fallout 3, Demon’s Souls, and Bioshock — and I still enjoy a good game of Pac-Man. If you’re going to compare porn to video games, then learn something about video games before you start to resemble another lawyer with a bad habit of demonizing games. Does the name Jack Thompson ring a bell?
I play video games. Pac-Man may be as fun as those advanced games, but surely it is far less immersive and graphically advanced, no? In any case the metaphor might be inaccurate, but perhaps it would be best to understand context before tossing around hyperbolic pejoratives like “Jack Thompson” in such a Jack Thompson-esque manner, yes? And who’s demonizing video games anyways?
“Masturbation based on imagining affectionate contact with a real potential mate is stimulating enough, especially for a teenager.”
I don’t think the author is ‘crazy’, but she is definitely judging. Affectionate contact with a mate is great. It is far from the only appropriate sexual fantasy.
I agree. Who is Ms. Robinson to decide what constitutes an “appropriate sexual fantasy”?
Porn, no matter how unrealistically depraved or lovey-dovey, is still a symptom and not a problem and the problem is still plain old sexual-frustration and that isn’t going to go away till inverse gender mechanics (more sexual encounters = enhanced endurance for men and decreased sensitivity for women) and diverse libido levels go away.
Unfortunately , familial attitudes still have the biggest influence and science still has no influence over who starts a family.
Well, I think it’s ridiculous to say that porn can’t be addictive. I actually think it’s one of the greatest addictions of our modern times and the fact that it’s so easily hidden has made it that much easier to ignore. Just look at our culture as a whole, it’s addicted to porn. There are porn stars that are household names and that’s not because our society is so sexually healthy. Today’s average guy does not only look at porn once a month when the Playboy magazine comes in the mail. Today’s average guy most likely spends more time viewing porn then his father did. And that’s not because men today *need* porn in a way they didn’t need it 50 years ago. It’s because the formula for consumption of porn has changed due to technology, cheapness, ease and anonymity. These are factors that shouldn’t be ignored because it’s these factors in combination with porn thats changed the way we view sex; and honestly, what men expect in the bedroom. I’ve experienced it personally and have had conversations with other women that also have experienced it. So hey guys, maybe you do always go back to the good ole trusty PacMan game. But that doesn’t stop you from saying “ I sure do like PacMan but damn, I can’t do the things I can do with it that I can with Halo”. And there is no woman in the world that wants to be her man’s “PacMan” when he is so easily and happily entertained by the more flashy “Halo”. You might go back to the PacMan, but it’s the fact that you use both PacMan AND Halo to self pleasure and meet your *needs*, is the real concern.
I also think it’s important to note that whether you believe porn is addicting or not, whether you think it’s harmful or not, what does it say about what collective masculinity desires in women where it’s sexy to see women called names, belittled, and used roughly to only be tossed aside for the next new face? Whether you think porn is addicting or not, whether you like it or not; not one person here can’t deny that depictions of women through porn are mostly belittling to women. Is that what you want to stand up for?
Stand up for your sexuality. Stand up for your right to masturbate. Stand up for being a man. But don’t stand up for an industry that makes money off treating an entire gender as second class citizens. There are things you can say and do to a woman in porn that you could not legally do to a man regarding his ethnicity or religion.
Lastly, I think it would be helpful for today’s parents to also talk to their daughters about porn. Boys aren’t the only one with the internet and girls can receive just as many negative and ill-advised ideas about sex and their bodies from porn just as boys can. We also have to consider how differently we treat boys and girls when it comes to sex. We praise guys when they get sex. We justify degrading sexual attitudes towards women because guys are just being guys. I have seen comments from the other posters where they were angered by the article because they felt that it was demeaning to men to dare suggest that porn can be addictive or that masturbation should be controlled. But somehow I guess it’s not degrading to see woman used in any way imaginable for male enjoyment? I guess it’s not degrading to see women called four letter names (the way so much porn does) as long as men have something to masturbate to?
When it comes to a man’s own daughter or wife, the rules magically seem to change. If boys are taught to respect women just as they want their mother’s and sisters to be respected, if boys are taught to respect their own sexuality, to not be ashamed of it, but that they aren’t allowed to have it at the expense of women (and yes sorry guys, all to often porn does come at female expense) then maybe we can really start having healthy attitudes about sex. That’s never going to happen if it’s always justified that the degradement of women is *okay* because men get horny. And I fully understand that these women choose to do porn. But I also understand that many of the men that watch porn are fathers and husbands that would *never* want their daughter or wife treated or viewed in a way that the women in porn are viewed as. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t treat half the population as their only there for your sexual pleasure and then A)Expect the women in your own life to be respected by other men B) Expect women to hold men in turn with respect.
I’m confused. I looked at one of my old harddrives from when I was 15 or so and browsed through my old porn collection and… it’s pretty much like what I look at now, just lower quality (the internet was slower back then).
And it’s not like I don’t jack off all the time. Back in high school and the first few years of college I was doing it three to five times a day. I only slowed down when I moved in with my boyfriend and started having sex regularly.
So where’s the escalation?
Oh, and to the women who want to know how to make it hurt less: lube, patience, and a patient boyfriend. And if he’s not willing to take it as slowly as you need, then he can do without.
There’s not necessarily an escalation, just as not everyone becomes an alcoholic or addicted to fast food or whatever other substance boosts your dopamine receptors in life. Doesn’t men that escalation doesn’t exist.
As for the latter point- I think unfortunately in these days, more women are not realizing they can do without, because more men are insisting on not going slow.
I agree with the author. But I think she needs to extend the scope of her judgments.
Many women agree that the sexual pleasure they get from a vibrator is far superior to the sexual pleasure they get from having sex with a man.
I’m sure Ms. Robinson would agree that this is wrong. These women are hurting themselves and their partners by turning to sexual stimulation that’s greater then what they can get naturally. There is a serious potential for abuse here and women should start limiting their use of vibrators considerably.
Funny you should bring that up. I subscribe to a listserve of academic sexologists, and just the other week one of them asked if there was any research being done on women and vibrators. It seems there’s ample anecdotal evidence that vibrator use leads to less sensation in the clitoris. It’s likely the decreased response is due to brain changes (decline in dopamine receptors), which numb the pleasure response (as with porn users).
I look forward to your next article on how women shouldn’t be using vibrators.
When I’ve been listening to their distress for five years, as I have in the case of porn users suffering severe symptoms and having a very difficult time quitting, I’ll certainly write that article. I do write about women, too. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/200909/sexual-energy-and-the-single-woman
Just to give you a taste of the kinds of symptoms men are finding clear up when they skip porn for weeks, here’s what one wrote today. (They started about 10 years after he began masturbating frequently at age 12.)
“When I began to question the benefits of frequent masturbation, I was struggling with strange symptoms. For a couple of years (or even more) I had been noticing:
* unfamiliar headaches
* a very shallow and almost tight voice
* I felt dry inside my eyes.
* My face felt dry
* In the mornings, I felt a strange unpleasant feeling in my whole body.
* I couldn’t focus on my studies for longer than 40 minutes before getting the same strange feeling in my body which made me lie down on the couch and have a nap for an hour.
* I felt crazy. I thought I had diabetes (low blood sugar) or bad vision (I tested my vision which was perfect).
* I even thought I had ADD or ADHD, because I could be pretty impulsive from time to time.
* In addition to that, I was feeling pretty insecure in social interactions, and didn’t feel safe and comfortable around people in general.
* I felt like a child sometimes: impulsive, restless and so on.
* I could even feel how my sex appeal was down at zero. But I couldn’t do anything about it!
Just a heads up for those of you who may not connect your neurochemical overstimulation with your symptoms.
Marnia, you are a nut job. This is plain and simply junk psychology. That guys symptoms are no more related to masturbation than they are to reading your articles. Please tell this “patient” to see a real doctor for a proper diagnosis before whatever disaese is causing these symptoms get worse.
Thanks for your thoughts, Normal, but name calling won’t cut it here. Symptoms such as the ones mentioned above often go away when men cut back on Internet porn use. Read these accounts for a fuller understanding: http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-benefits-do-people-see-as-they-reboot.
Thanks, Marina. We’re still unsure about the whole thing about giving your kid a jack-off schedule. But we gave you some 8-bit-love – http://www.8bitdad.com/2010/12/07/good-men-project-talks-porno/
Oh, this is rich: a woman lecturing men on their sexuality, and how we’re expressing it are hurting us? Me thinks its time to wander over to the feminist websites to lecture the ladies on how they’re really only hurting themselves every time they say no to a man for sex. I mean, there’s scientific studies that show that semen improves a woman’s health, so it’s true… right? Or maybe I should tell them how wrong they are for refusing anal sex, because I’ve personally talked with women that swear by it.
While that last one is true, I think I would get a good verbal lashing… a well-deserved one, at that… for telling women how their particular views on sexuality are wrong. Just like you deserve one for dragging that tired old trope of, “Masturbation will make you go blind, and grow hair on your palms!” in here.
I just recently discovered this website, and have been enjoying it up till now. But seeing this kind of rubbish junk-science on here… I’m very disappointed.
Dear David,
No ones leacturing you. We don’t care what anyone does with their genitals, but is is important to understand what happens to the brain.
Feel free to actually read the article and my other posts – and tell me about the junk science.
here’s more science
strong> STUDY: Dopamine D2 receptors in addiction-like reward dysfunction and compulsive eating in obese rats., By Paul J. Kenny, Ph.D
Unlimited acces to especially enticing food caused a decline D2 receptors in the reward circuitry. It occurred rapidly, along with behavioral changes. The dopamine receptors had not returned to normal even two weeks after the animals were returned to normal food.
Compare that to the rats taking cocaine – they had a similar drop in D2 receptors, yet their receptors returned to baseline in 2 days.
This means that unlimited access to an especially exciting version of a natural substance or phenomenon can lead to brain changes that indicate an addiction process. A decline in Dopamine receptors is a known marker of an addiction process.
Simplified:
1. Overeating tasty food (sausage, cheesecake, frosting) CAUSED a reduction in dopamine receptors.
2. This also shows up in human findings.
3. One of the main findings in drug addictions is a decline in reward circuitry dopamine receptors.
4. In short, natural reinforcers can be addictive if the stimulation is supranormal, i.e., higher than what our ancestors evolved with.
Extended use of Internet Porn is far more stimulating to the reward circuitry than sausage.
Welcome to the new world David – its not just Men instructing men and women how to live their lives, women are joining the ranks too. Women have listened to men tell them how they should be sexually and even how they should give birth to babies for eons. In my knowledge, no man has ever given birth to a baby and yet, a whole group of them are experts. So when you drop your ego and cease being threatened, you’ll realise that the article, written by an woman with kudos in this area, is about brain functioning in the reward circuit. And yes, the topic is sex.
as a general rule, more stress=more masturbation. ask any college boy and they will tell you that the number of time a day goes way up nearing finals and before a paper is due. I have heard people comment that they are just avoiding their work but thats not it. Its a stress reliever and allows the brain to clear and you are much more focused. Although 51 years old, I am a full time college student and i was surprised at the increase in masturbation as the work got more difficult. Funny thing is. I can be struggling with math and take a beat off break and everything is clear and goes much smoother afterward.