Developmental psychologist Ritch Savin-Williams argues that most gay teens are not in peril, and that the well-intentioned It Gets Better campaign nonetheless promotes a false “suffering suicidal script.”
The recent tragic deaths of several teens who were gay, or were believed to be gay, have received national attention and reminded us of the unrelenting pain and desperation that we believe characterize the lives of gay youth. But this portrait is an overgeneralization that communicates a cynical, hopeless, and inaccurate message that to be young and gay is to suffer.
Despite its apparent public appeal, scientific research simply does not support the picture of gay youth in psychological peril. Rather, many gay youth are proud, enjoy life, and, by most accounts, appear to be quite ordinary adolescents and young adults. In fact, there has never been a better time to be young and gay.
For most gay youth, the truth is not “It Gets Better.” The truth is, “It’s Better, Right Now!”
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In response to the popular view that there is a gay youth suicide epidemic, it’s important to realize that there is no scientific evidence to support it. There is no scientific data that compares gay and straight youth on completed suicide rates.
Why do we believe the suicide epidemic myth to be true? Likely because early research conducted in the 1970s and 1980s—based on small, biased samples of homeless youth, prostitutes, substance abusers, and military rejects—reported a horrific existence. From these lives the myth of the suicidal gay youth grew. It is still with us.
This myth is embraced by both ends of the political spectrum. Progressives, gay activists, and helping professionals (clinicians, medical providers, public health officials) believe that such dire messages will raise awareness of gay-rights issues and garner needed services for gay youth. In addition, government funding for research often depends more on investigations that explore what goes wrong than what goes right in human development.
Conservative religious and political advocates use the gay suicide myth to give warning to youth who are “considering” being gay or who have crossed the line and might be a candidate for conversion therapy that a gay life is hazardous to their health. Their banner is “Be Healthy, Be Straight”—as if it were a choice, and an easy one.
From these early research studies to the present day, the proportion of at-risk gay youth has significantly decreased. The major difference now is that when we ask gay youth about their mental health, we can tap into more representative samples of youth. As more young people come out as gay, they are looking healthier. Another interpretation is that life is better for gay youth now than it was for those growing up 30 years ago.
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When research reports gay versus straight differences in depression, anxiety, and suicidality, they evaporate when one does one or all of the following.
1) Separate lesbians from bisexual women. In previous research, the two groups were combined because of small numbers. Once separated, lesbian youth often report equal or even greater mental health than heterosexual women.
2) Control for gender expression. It is not sexual orientation per se that is the most accurate predictor of at-risk status. Rather, many youth (regardless of their sexuality) are at-risk if they do not act like someone of their sex is “supposed” to act. That is, bullies select their victims based less on their same-sex sexual attractions than on their gender non-conformity. Gay quarterbacks and track stars in high school are not bullied to the same degree as are gay theater and drama club members.
3) Consider that gay youth are more likely than straight youth to give “false positive” statements. Some gay youth report that they attempted suicide, but further questioning reveals that they actually did not. Perhaps they had a suicidal thought, but that’s not the same thing as a suicide attempt. Why gay youth are more likely than straight youth to falsely report their mental health status is not known.
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Given these doubts about a real gay-versus-straight difference in mental health, from a developmental psychological perspective, the larger picture is more compelling for a positive view of gay youth. Research has shown no gay-versus-straight difference in the number and quality of adolescent friendships, peer popularity, closeness and connectedness to parents, personality characteristics, and positive mental health.
When we ask not about mental-health problems such as depression but about positive characteristics such as psychological wellbeing, self-esteem, and life satisfaction, gay youth appear as “healthy” as straight youth.
Based on my read of the scientific literature, the conclusion I reach is that gay youth are rather ordinary adolescents and young adults. Yes, some are at-risk, but these clinically fragile youth exist in the same proportion and to the same degree among heterosexual youth.
Why this is important is that as a clinician, I’m worried about the “message” we’re giving to gay youth. I’m worried about suicide contagion (publicizing gay youth suicide may provoke similar behavior among vulnerable youth). I’m worried about our inability to understand their lives. And, I’m worried about adult tendencies to insert our life experiences onto those of youth. Just because we had a difficult gay adolescence does not mean that today’s gay youth experience the same pain.
Maybe we should listen to youth about their actual lives. If we did, we would learn that, for the most part, the “suffering suicidal script” is not an accurate one. In reality, the gay kids are all right.
This article has been updated with links to the cited studies.
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For other Good Men Project Magazine articles on gay youth and bullying, check out…
Battling the Bullies, by Jared Stearns
On Bullies, by Dave Ford
About Ritch Savin-Williams
This article is pure bullshit. Anyone who is conscious of the LGBT community and the plight of gay youth know that the perils of low self-esteem and depression. Please don’t talk to what you have no experience. I know from first hand experience how misleading this article truly is.
It is misleading and ultimately harmful to “debunk” scientific data without citing ANYTHING. Please, please, cite these “studies” so we can look at the results for ourselves.
Pretty sloppy article for a PhD…. No sources cited for the research or “scientific literature” he references? A criticism of grand overgeneralizations while they abound in his own writing? I agree that the environment is probably better for gay youth today than it was 10 or 20 years ago, but if someone is going to make this blatant of an argument against the “suffering suicidal script,” he should be prepared to back it up with meaningful research and not just optimistic postulations. Dislike.
I’m definitely into keeping an open mind on this issue because I do think there are more resources today for gay youth than there have been when I was a teenager in the 70s, for sure. But Mariah has a point: you need to present your findings with scientific evidence, preferably with links so we can see for ourselves where the bases of your arguments lie. Also, you have to keep in mind that coming out to family, friends and your town or city is different than being exposed worldwide, which is the possibility today with social networks.
Links to cited studies have been added. Sorry about that. Editor’s mistake.
Now that the links are provided, they won’t have anything to complain about
This author says that “It is not sexual orientation per se that is the most accurate predictor of at-risk status. Rather, many youth (regardless of their sexuality) are at-risk if they do not act like someone of their sex is “supposed” to act. That is, bullies select their victims based less on their same-sex sexual attractions than on their gender non-conformity. Gay quarterbacks and track stars in high school are not bullied to the same degree as are gay theater and drama club members.”
And he seems to say that such gender norm policing is OK. I don’t think so! Why are we shaming boys or girls who are more well-rounded?
Being gay doesn’t make you more likely to be depressed BIOLOGICALLY. That is a very important point to make, especially with the deathist cults trying to say the opposite.
Still, the sissy with friends in the city cannot just say ‘cheer up’ to the sissy who fears for his life in the country.
I am posting what I posted on another Good Men forum, which Ritch refuses to address until I identify myself:
Ritch, as odd as this may seem to you and your idealistic utopia, I am not using my full name on a website discussion about homosexuality for privacy reasons. I know that must seem unfathomable to you, as everything is hearts and flowers out there for gay people in your eyes. And no, I will not contact you privately because I feel that others have the right to read what I am saying as well. You addressed little of what I presented to you. Regarding your ideas of gay well-adjustedness/happiness, you are blatantly ignoring the findings of such entities as the CDC (http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/stigma-and-discrimination.htm), the APA (http://www.apa.org/about/governance/council/policy/discriminatory-legislation.aspx), the SPRC (http://www.sprc.org/library/SPRC_LGBT_Youth.pdf), and various other legitimate public agencies. You admitted during your NPR interview to “selecting” the information you use, which is information that supports YOUR views and thus your own personal advancement. And with the lack of other studies out there right now, you are seizing a window of opportunity to capitalize on the media’s focus on the death of gay teens and using it to support your warped ideas and to sell books. That is criminal. How is what you are doing going to better the lives of the youth that are struggling when you are not even recognizing their struggles to begin with?? You say “it’s better now.” Why? Because that’s what you have written in your books, and you don’t want egg on your face. What’s worse, you have recognized an audience in the conservative movement, who you know (and as we have seen) will use you and your work to support their own agenda–now more than ever. Read the discriminatory legislation piece from the APA. Did you account for this in your own “findings”? You are acting as if the only stressors on our gay youth are the stigma that activists are creating in making them appear “different” and the push by the religious right to “change.” Really? A “professional” such as yourself, and you don’t feel there is more to it than that? We are dealing with hatred, ignorance, and bigotry out there. Informing an ignorant society that gay kids don’t have any additional struggles completely releases that same society from 1) ownership and accountability for their oppressive actions, and 2) any responsibility to change their beliefs and opinions. It is a smack in the face to all who continue to live in fear, to be harassed, to be discriminated against, to lose their job for being gay, to not be able to marry their lifelong partner, to lose a child–or relative–or friend–to suicide, or to basically continue to be treated like a second class citizen. Celebrating strength and resiliency is a good thing, Ritch, but not when coupled with negating the realities that exist out there. And that is what you are doing. You stated that those who focus on the “negative” (which I term “reality”) are giving the religious right “ammunition” to make homosexuals convert. So then you think that by telling everyone that gay kids are happy and resilient and face no adversity that the religious right will back off? Are you serious here?? They don’t give a shit if gay people are happy or not, Ritch. Their plight for conversion goes much deeper than that. And your words will not only NOT assist in this regard, but they are going to act as a REINFORCEMENT for them to continue to do what they are doing. And what do you think publishing things like this very article (as I stated in my posts above)– without recognizing people who are fully homosexual–is going to do in terms of this religious “conversion” issue? And for education in our schools, as one of the biggest arguments against it is that parents don’t want their kids to think homosexuality is an acceptable “option.” You are causing a lot of damage in your self-interest, and I am not letting this go. What you are doing is WRONG. Isn’t your grad degree in religious studies? And why was FOX news at your press luncheon today? Unreal.
Well said Intrigued. I am a lesbian student in a Psy.D. program and have faced tremendous bias and stigma in my program. Which, contrary to Ritch’s view was a continuation of what I experienced as a teen and young adult. I find this piece to be disheartening, largely because Ritch is clearly in an influential position as a result of his contributions to the literature and his appointment at Cornell. What he says carries a lot of weight.
Ritch, I am one of those gay kids and I wasn’t a gay teen in the 70s or 80s. I’m more recent then that. I faced stigma, bias, and bigotry. I attempted suicide. I think you should consider the impact such statements, from an influential man such as yourself, have upon the field, the public, and the very kids you wish to protect. You’re attempt to promote a strengths and resilience based view of gay teens is admirable. I just wish you wouldn’t do it at the expense of those who are struggling. Your attempt to promote a more positive view of these kids, only serves to further the silence about how hard it is being LGBT identified in the U.S.
Thanks, Student. Agreed and also well stated. Best of luck to you.
I will continue to do everything in my power to make this society and culture a better place for you and others. I believe I have done this in the past and will continue to do so in the future. I am not giving up. I go to court for us, I do workshops for us, and I do teacher education for us. Everything within my power I am doing to make sure that future generations do not face what you did. My advocacy for a positive message to be delivered to youth does not, I believe (and here many readers apparently disagree with me) negate your experience but will make this a better place.
I have to believe that there are multiple ways to do this and I admire those with greater political, clinical, educational skills who can do this.
Ritch, can you please address the issues I presented above?
I believe I have in most of my responses to other readers. Which one do you feel is still outstanding?
All that end with question marks.
Back in the 15th century, Savin-Williams would have been one of those Catholic prelates who would have told Galileo, “Since you can’t prove the sun doesn’t revolve around the earth, it does.”
He’s arguing that, because there are no solid studies (in his opinion) that gay teens suffer from depression, bullying and thoughts of suicide, it must not be true.
Rather, he logically pointed out that the studies that are cited in justification of such views are not as accurate or related as they claim to be. If you want to make an argument, as Galileo did, that would be different, but as it is you haven’t said anything meaningful here. If evidence for the idea hasn’t been gathered, there is no reason to believe the idea is true.
Sorry but I having a bit of a problem following your logic. Nevertheless, in science we assume no group differences and then it is up to those who posit such differences to come forth with the evidence. I maintain that they have not done so (that is, gay versus straight youth difference in mental health problems).
Is this author gay or straight? Did he experience childhood and adolescence as a gay boy?
I doubt it.
Then you would be wrong.
It is better– for some people. For the people who are still suffering horribly, I think it is important to tell them that it WILL get better.
Very interesting- I think this is a worthy discussion. I’m no psychologist and I wasn’t bullied for being gay or gender-nonconforming. But I do wonder if the issue is not so black-and-white as “bullied gay teens are committing suicide.” After all, gay people *are* coming out younger and younger and it’s not as big of a deal as it was even just 10 years ago. So I wonder to what extent these 40+ year-olds are projecting their own experiences onto today’s gay youth. Or maybe the “It Gets Better” campaign has been misinterpreted as “Being a Gay Teen Is Hard” when instead it’s more like “Some Gay Teens Are Suffering and We Want to Help Them.”
I respect the psychologist viewpoint, but I think he’s missing the forest for the trees. The question isn’t whether queer youth are more likely to commit suicide than straight youth–the larger question is how do we identify and dismantle the systematic targeting and oppression of queer youth.
For more ‘scientific’ data about queer youth look to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force: http://www.thetaskforce.org/issues/youth
and
The Williams Institute at UCLA: http://www.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute/home.html
Why are 30-40% of homeless kids on the street queer? it isn’t that we are more prone to depression– which i think is a big part of the authors point in this post–its that we a trapped in a system and culture that targets difference.
What absolute garbage.
From start to finish.
Heterosexuals really enjoy keeping the wool over their eyes, don’t they?
Perhaps LGBT youth should have been consulted for this piece so that it would contain a grain of truth to what is really going on.
TOTAL BARF.
I call BS on this article. I don’t know what Universe the writer lives in where there are tons of out and happy kids living their care-free high school lives. In the real world it is tough. The reason most gay people don’t need “studies” to let us know that gay bullying and suicide are a real problem is that almost all of us who went to school in this country have seen and/or experienced it firsthand.
Doing “studies” of gay kids is always troublesome because most gay kids are still in the closet.
I think the author has misunderstood the intended purpose of the “It Gets Better” campaign. I’ve been following the campaign and I never got the impression that it’s projecting a message that all gay youth are at risk of suicide. It’s simply reaching out to those who are either at-risk or just facing a difficult time b/c of their sexuality. It’s telling them that IF they are facing obstacles now that it can get better.
Exactly. How on earth could it harm young people who are doing fine? No-one is going to think, “Oh, wait, I’m obviously not doing this properly if I’m not suicidal”.
Ritch Savin-Williams you are an ass for writing this. This is not the truth and you just spat into the faces of suffering gay teens everywhere.
This is like saying “Most people don’t die in car accidents, so there’s no point in wearing a seat belt.” I guess when it’s gay kids we’re talking about, it just doesn’t matter… or maybe there’s another agenda here? Coincidental that Prof. Savin-Williams got his MA in Religious Studies?
personally, i believe that the premise of “it gets better” is setting up false expectations. yes, some things get better, but in my experience, i have encountered and been hurt by more bitter, shallow, gay men than heterosexual individuals. i encourage all homosexuals to take a hard look at yourselves and at the communities that you create to ask yourself if you REALLY think that it gets better…for me personally, it did not. it got worse.
So wait, gay men made your life worse because you’re gay? Somehow I think your bitter experience and the chip on your shoulder concerning your failed romantic and platonic relationships with other gay men doesn’t quitw fit the comparison you’re trying to make.
lol, thanks for very aptly demonstrating my point Terence!
Oy vey, brother.
I don’t quite see how he proved your point?
instead of making an attempt to understand where i was coming from, he attacked by calling me “bitter” and saying i have a “chip on (my) shoulder” and assumed that my feelings were based on “failed romantic and platonic relationships”
Everyone already knows the gay kids are initially allright. It’s the bigot grownups that are the sickos and spread the illness and abuse.