Developmental psychologist Ritch Savin-Williams argues that most gay teens are not in peril, and that the well-intentioned It Gets Better campaign nonetheless promotes a false “suffering suicidal script.”
The recent tragic deaths of several teens who were gay, or were believed to be gay, have received national attention and reminded us of the unrelenting pain and desperation that we believe characterize the lives of gay youth. But this portrait is an overgeneralization that communicates a cynical, hopeless, and inaccurate message that to be young and gay is to suffer.
Despite its apparent public appeal, scientific research simply does not support the picture of gay youth in psychological peril. Rather, many gay youth are proud, enjoy life, and, by most accounts, appear to be quite ordinary adolescents and young adults. In fact, there has never been a better time to be young and gay.
For most gay youth, the truth is not “It Gets Better.” The truth is, “It’s Better, Right Now!”
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In response to the popular view that there is a gay youth suicide epidemic, it’s important to realize that there is no scientific evidence to support it. There is no scientific data that compares gay and straight youth on completed suicide rates.
Why do we believe the suicide epidemic myth to be true? Likely because early research conducted in the 1970s and 1980s—based on small, biased samples of homeless youth, prostitutes, substance abusers, and military rejects—reported a horrific existence. From these lives the myth of the suicidal gay youth grew. It is still with us.
This myth is embraced by both ends of the political spectrum. Progressives, gay activists, and helping professionals (clinicians, medical providers, public health officials) believe that such dire messages will raise awareness of gay-rights issues and garner needed services for gay youth. In addition, government funding for research often depends more on investigations that explore what goes wrong than what goes right in human development.
Conservative religious and political advocates use the gay suicide myth to give warning to youth who are “considering” being gay or who have crossed the line and might be a candidate for conversion therapy that a gay life is hazardous to their health. Their banner is “Be Healthy, Be Straight”—as if it were a choice, and an easy one.
From these early research studies to the present day, the proportion of at-risk gay youth has significantly decreased. The major difference now is that when we ask gay youth about their mental health, we can tap into more representative samples of youth. As more young people come out as gay, they are looking healthier. Another interpretation is that life is better for gay youth now than it was for those growing up 30 years ago.
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When research reports gay versus straight differences in depression, anxiety, and suicidality, they evaporate when one does one or all of the following.
1) Separate lesbians from bisexual women. In previous research, the two groups were combined because of small numbers. Once separated, lesbian youth often report equal or even greater mental health than heterosexual women.
2) Control for gender expression. It is not sexual orientation per se that is the most accurate predictor of at-risk status. Rather, many youth (regardless of their sexuality) are at-risk if they do not act like someone of their sex is “supposed” to act. That is, bullies select their victims based less on their same-sex sexual attractions than on their gender non-conformity. Gay quarterbacks and track stars in high school are not bullied to the same degree as are gay theater and drama club members.
3) Consider that gay youth are more likely than straight youth to give “false positive” statements. Some gay youth report that they attempted suicide, but further questioning reveals that they actually did not. Perhaps they had a suicidal thought, but that’s not the same thing as a suicide attempt. Why gay youth are more likely than straight youth to falsely report their mental health status is not known.
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Given these doubts about a real gay-versus-straight difference in mental health, from a developmental psychological perspective, the larger picture is more compelling for a positive view of gay youth. Research has shown no gay-versus-straight difference in the number and quality of adolescent friendships, peer popularity, closeness and connectedness to parents, personality characteristics, and positive mental health.
When we ask not about mental-health problems such as depression but about positive characteristics such as psychological wellbeing, self-esteem, and life satisfaction, gay youth appear as “healthy” as straight youth.
Based on my read of the scientific literature, the conclusion I reach is that gay youth are rather ordinary adolescents and young adults. Yes, some are at-risk, but these clinically fragile youth exist in the same proportion and to the same degree among heterosexual youth.
Why this is important is that as a clinician, I’m worried about the “message” we’re giving to gay youth. I’m worried about suicide contagion (publicizing gay youth suicide may provoke similar behavior among vulnerable youth). I’m worried about our inability to understand their lives. And, I’m worried about adult tendencies to insert our life experiences onto those of youth. Just because we had a difficult gay adolescence does not mean that today’s gay youth experience the same pain.
Maybe we should listen to youth about their actual lives. If we did, we would learn that, for the most part, the “suffering suicidal script” is not an accurate one. In reality, the gay kids are all right.
This article has been updated with links to the cited studies.
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For other Good Men Project Magazine articles on gay youth and bullying, check out…
Battling the Bullies, by Jared Stearns
On Bullies, by Dave Ford
About Ritch Savin-Williams
Dear Readers,
At the risk of further antagonizing you, but in the spirit of information and conversation, a reader back channeled me on a recent critique of the It Gets Better Project.
By forwarding this I want to be clear that I am NOT endorsing these points, although if you have been hanging on this long you will recognize that some of the 13 points I find more compelling than others. Perhaps this magazine might sponsor an article on these points?
http://tempcontretemps.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/why-i-dont-like-dan-savages-it-gets-better-project-as-a-response-to-bullying/
Ritch.
Maybe what everyone can take away from all this is that generalizations of any kind can be damaging, and stigma of any extreme is bad (i.e. depressed/suicidal vs. happy/alright). There needs to be a balance. We have to highlight what is good about our gay population as a whole, as young individuals, sons and daughters, students and teachers, mothers and fathers. But we cannot understate, overlook, or dismiss the negatives that are a direct result of a society that is oppressive. Perhaps a better sentiment to get both points across (using this article’s title as an example) is saying, “Gay kids are strong” instead of “Gay kids are alright.” This allows for recognition of the good that Ritch speaks about while underscoring the fact that there are those who are able to be “alright” DESPITE the adversities out there, not in the absence of them. But it’s mandatory to understand and communicate that even our most courageous youth meet insurmountable challenges which take them from us in various ways, and these obstacles that result in the loss of human life (or quality of human life for many others) are rooted in societal bigotry and legalized oppression. This is why we cannot lose sight of this part of the equation.
I don’t think there would be the amount of religious communities reflecting on how their churches and teachings have handled homosexuality if the recent news coverage was “Gay kids are just like straight kids” as opposed to stories of the tragedies that have occurred. Yes, the media can also be damaging, but counteracting this coverage with polar opposite theory can be too. Unfortunately sometimes it takes publicized tragedy to bring about reflection and reform, and we need to recognize our responsibility to hold oppressive forces accountable in order to get to the next level of understanding and acceptance. A quote from the above link (which is all over the place, but has a few decent points) regarding “It Gets Better”: “Don’t insist that those in pain relocate themselves to the future.” I would add, “…and don’t insist that they aren’t.” Neither address the issues that are occurring now.
beautifully stated. Ritch.
Wow. I’ve never read so much bullshit all in one article. This is so ignorant I want to throw up. How can someone write about a topic when they don’t know shit about it. I’m nonviolent and this article makes me want to punch the writer in the face. To whoever wrote this or agrees with it: get you head out of your ass, open your eyes, and shut your god damn mouth.
I want to thank you for being an advocate for gay youth Ritch, However, I have always disagreed with your perspective that things are better for gay youth BEFORE they come out. It is true that they negotiate the coming out process earlier and that they are better than those in my generation (I am 47). However, it is absolutely not true that before they come they are better. In my experience, it is exactly the same for gay and lesbian children today than it was when we were growing up. The cultural trauma of hiding one’s identity and being young gay and lesbian spies listening and witnessing the hate and bigotry (which is much more visible today then in the 1970′s) is a form of covert cultural sexual abuse. Coming out is still traumatic. Being out is much better these days and that is where I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Respectfully,
Joe Kort,
Thanks for the kind words Joe.
However, I do not recall ever making the claim that gay kids are necessarily healthier BEFORE they come out (come out to self or come out to others? Two very different processes). Have I? I am not sure how I or anyone else would know because such kids are awfully difficult to get to in our research. Not even sure how one would identify them (except to ask out to self but not out to others).
What I have done is to “question” the assumption that gay kids who are not out are necessarily more depressed, anxious, suicidal, etc. In my clinical work I am always very careful in talking with same-sex attracted youth about public disclosure. Some youth believe it will solve all their problems, the “Answer,” and I will caution them about what might be on the other side, to make sure that they are prepared (sometimes families are capable of rejecting them).
What I will say is that several decades ago youth who were out were those most likely to transgress gender boundaries (likely pushed or pulled out rather than to come out on their own). Of course because of their cross-gender behavior they were likely to be bullied, and that can do great harm to life satisfaction scores. One of the most powerful predictors of mental health problems among gay youth has been “gender atypicality,” which is not restricted to gay youth.
My goal is to question unexamined assumptions. For some youth their life blossoms when they come out; for others, it becomes immeasurably worse.
Ritch.
I am glad for the clarification Ritch. I don’t think I have read anything from you or anyone else in terms of before the coming out process. Seems like a new concept for people to consider. As a clinician who treats gay teens before, during and after the coming out process they all say exactly what was said by gays and lesbians from past generations in that before coming out they were as frightened and traumatized about what would happen to them. I do agree that after they come out, even here in the midwest, things are better for most than any other generation. That said, being the only out–or only a few of the out–gays in a school still feels isolating and alone and is hard.
I also really apprecaite your speaking out about suicide contagion as I am also concerned about that and we all should be. I did not know there was not enough research on that until you mentioned that.
I think the fact that suicides of gay teens has not gone down in numbers let’s us know things are not much better. I have never heard reports that gay teens attempting or committing suicide are going down in numbers. I know they are not rising however–just receiving more media attention.
Just to be clear, in terms of your statement, “I think the fact that suicides of gay teens has not gone down in numbers let’s us know things are not much better. I have never heard reports that gay teens attempting or committing suicide are going down in numbers” I want to re-state my position.
First, we have no data on gay teen suicides, so whether it has gone up, down, or stayed the same, we don’t know.
Second, we do know that the reported suicide attempt has decreased dramatically over the past generation. Whether this is because of an actual decline or because our research is better (that is, perhaps it was never as high as reported by early studies), we do not know.
Third, to state what you say in your second post, the gay teens we see in clinical practice are not likely “representative” of gay teens in general.
Again, data do show that many gay teens really like being gay and their gay life. Bravo!
Ritch stated, “First, we have no data on gay teen suicides, so whether it has gone up, down, or stayed the same, we don’t know.” So then how can it be asserted that gay kids are alright? Those who say that gay youth are in pain and prone to suicide cannot–in Ritch’s estimation–say this because there is not enough evidence (in his opinion) to support it. But if lack of evidence is used to negate that, how can that same lack of evidence support “Gay youth are fine”?
The answers lie in the clinical practices of the therapists treating these kids. And you are right it would have to be the kids who are out to themselves but not to others–which are the kids I tend to treat along with those who are simply out and dealing with a normative gay youth life which is so wonderful to see.
To Question:
Gay teen suicides = death. We have no data on suicides by sexual orientation.
As to being in pain and prone to suicide, that is another matter (though I maintain that we do not have adequate data and that there are data that dispute this, on a group level).
By “fine” and “all right” I have always said in these posts that I mean no group difference with straight youth on developmental and psychological health.
If I were to maintain that gay youth are healthier than straight youth (no data to support this view), then that would be a different matter.
I hope this clarifies. Ritch.
You make some good points here and SOMEBODY needs to hold social scientists, journalists, and activists accountable for making over-arching claims in the absence of sufficient evidence. Those claiming that we’re in a sudden LGBT suicide crisis deserve tough scrutiny.
However, you didn’t stop there. You make a claim, which is also your title, that “The Gay Kids Are All Right.” Where’s your proof? Every good scientist knows that the burden of proving something lies on whomever makes the claim. Now it’s on you.
Furthermore, the more a claim deviates from conventional views, the more evidence is required from a claimant. This quote is worth committing to memory: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
I could go on and on about how insulting your claim is, how it trivializes/dismisses the amount of trauma LGBT kids go through, but the only thing that matters here is how extraordinary is. Even those who think homosexuality is a moral abomination would agree that you can’t be psychologically sound when you fraternize with Satan!
The angry comments you have received for writing this are, if not justified, certainly predictable. Yes, things are comparatively better for LGBT youths now than 30 years ago. No, LGBT youths should not be fed a victimhood narrative from the media. But there’s a world of difference between these claims, and saying that things are hunky dory.
All excellent points.
I agree that “Every good scientist knows that the burden of proving something lies on whomever makes the claim. Now it’s on you.” One could argue, however, that the basic premise in social science is one of “no difference” between groups and that it is up to those who assert a group difference to prove it. Part of my critique of previous studies is that they do not demonstrate the group difference. That analysis seems a bit picky within the present context, so I’ll drop it.
My dilemma is not knowing how to show to you the reader the no sexual orientation difference (which might be a bit different than showing everything is “hunky dory” for gay kids) within this magazine context. My task was to write an essay for the “general reader” and so this is what I did. Usually I have scientific research citations at the conclusion of my writings.
The supporting evidence is provided, of course, in my professional writing. I don’t want to be accused of hocking my book, The New Gay Teenager, but there I do review these issues. However, since that book came out 5 years ago there are more studies that show no group difference between gay and straight kids on a number of developmental and psychological health issues.
What to do? I recognize that when statements are made that we believe to be true (gay youth suicide epidemic) because we have been led to believe them or they just “feel” to be true, no evidence is necessary. It is when assertions go against conventional truth that evidence is needed. I accept that, but not sure how to do it here with boring everyone or going beyond the intended purpose of this magazine…
Ritch.
Yeah, arguing for no evidence of a difference in sexual orientation is different from saying things are hunky dory. That may be your personal experience, but it’s not scientifically justified.
The scientific consensus is that homosexuality is linked to suicide, depression, substance abuse, and many other mental illnesses. This is debatable, and I’m curious to learn more from reading your book, but even if you can dismantle that view, it doesn’t warrant making overly rosy statements about LGBT youths.
Non-scientific statements based on your own personal experience may reasonably hold a more positive perspective, but be careful how you phrase things. Somebody who has been abused/abandoned by their family/peers on account of their perceived/actual sexual orientation, or even a friend of such person, might read your title and find it as dismissive as “let them eat cake!”
I said that there is no difference in mental health between gay and straight youth and I believe that the scientific evidence backs me up on this. The “scientific consensus” you speak of does not exist; it is very debatable within the scientific literature. Not so sure I made “overly rosy statements,” but perhaps that is a matter of personal interpretation.
BTW, the religious right is extremely likely to use the “suicidal literature” to buttress their view that gay teens should undergo conversion therapy. It is like “magic” for them–select what you want and throw away the rest.
Ritch.
A scientific consensus implies general agreement, not necessarily unanimity (e.g., global warming, evolution, etc.).
If you take a look at Wikipedia’s article on suicide among LGBT youth, you’ll see that it doesn’t even include a dissenting opinion! Maybe you could be the very first to write one for this article (and others), as thus far nobody has questioned their LGBT/mental health link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_among_LGBT_youth
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_topics_in_medicine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_and_psychology
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_sexual_orientation_and_medicine
To be fair, I don’t think any progressives are arguing that being LGBT by itself causes mental health problems, but rather it’s homophobia and heterosexism that are to blame. Can we at least agree that social rejection can cause mental illness? Is there not a scientific consensus on that?
“Select what you want and throw away the rest.” Funny, that is exactly what you do.
Cute, but not true.
Would you also say the same for those who say gay youth are more suicidal, depressed, etc. than straight youth?
Is it that difficult to believe that our gay youth are normal?
Nope, I would not say the same for those who state that about gay youth. I say this because I have spent significant time researching this issue and have found an equally significant and overwhelming base of studies and research that support that finding. I can’t seem to find any research supporting yours that does not have your name printed on it.
Also, big difference between “normal” and “suicidal, depressed, etc.” Gay youth are inherently normal. The other descriptors (“suicidal, depressed, etc.”) are the results of a homophobic society. Stop confusing the two.
I know this is almost a year old but if you had really spent any time researching this topic, you’d actually find lots of research about how homosexuals are as “fine” as their heterosexual peers, most of it without the Savin-Williams name on it. There’s also a fair amount of research attempting to do away with the “gay crisis” stigma as well as really interesting research showing that certain aspects of homosexual life cause homosexuals to happier and more satisfied with their lives than their heterosexual peers. And by research, let me clarify that I mean actual legislative academic research, not browsing wikipedia for hours. Lack of preparation to debate a topic on your part doesn’t mean your opponent is wrong or somehow a mastermind in lqbqt research.
*legislative was supposed to be legitimate
The teenage years are difficult for most people and the bullying that gay people experience only serves to exacerbate the pain in the maturation process. I think its important to teach all teenagers, gay or straight, that it gets better. I look back now at the really popular people in high school and find it quite funny and pitiful that they are all still partying and drinking together. Its important to show teenagers that high school is really only four years and you never have to speak or see those people ever again when its over. And not to mention the majority of those “popular” kids become complete losers right after high school.
Much to the relief of many of you, this will be my last post. I am covering again and again the same territory, so it’s time for me to move onto other projects. It has been quite a ride, and a learning experience. I wish all of you the best, and to keep an open mind and to listen to our youth.
Ritch.
Well I’m using all of my power right now to avoid profanity. I remember quite well being a gay teen. When your not out your forced to repress emotions and can become depressed because you can’t express yourself. When you do come out not only are you made fun of to your face but the more meaningful blows are when you hear a glimpse of people talking about you behind your back and you know they don’t just make fun of you for their own pleasure but because they actually do despise you. As for the suicide and depression I must say you are quite wrong. I contemplated suicide every other if not every day. I even went as far as putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. I’m only here today because I forgot to turn the safety off and changed my mind. Also after you graduate it doesn’t get immediately better, you still have bigots at work and all through college. Now I’m going to assume the author is straight and I would like to point out to you that your most embarrassing day of school whatever it was that happened, being gay forces you to feel that way every day. Being a teenager is already hard enough but not even being able to blend in or be “normal” only makes it so much worse. Has someone ever thrown a brick though your parents house window just because your different? I still get made fun of for it and I’m one of the slightly more normal type. Probably about two weeks ago actually I was walking off of a train and a man knocked the papers out of my hand just like back in high school, and muttered something about being queer. They don’t allow gay marriage to protect the sanctity of marriage when they allow drunk people in Vegas and gold diggers to marry but not couples that have been together for ten years and are still madly in love. I’m sorry Rich but no matter how many studies you do the only way you’ll know how homosexual feel and are treated would be to become one yourself.
Dear Daniel,
The bullying and the resulting pain you’ve received in your life are horrific and inexcusable in this supposedly “progressive” society. I hope that you have the strength and support to move beyond the idiots. Second, I have been gay since the day I was born (if not before) and I have dedicated my life to change the world in a way that will reduce the kind of experiences that you had. I realize that not all of us agree on how best to do this and I can understand that you believe my emphasis on emphasizing the strengths and abilities and positive attitude of today’s young gays (and straights) might not be your approach. That is okay; I hope that you too are working toward the same goals to end the hate and prejudice and discrimination. Ritch.