In a world where controversial ‘Hot Topics’ are abuzz, Brian Gawlak finds the teachable moments in trending issues.
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I remember December 14, 2012 like it was yesterday – a flashbulb moment that permanently etched the events of that day in my brain. I can smell the smells of the recipes my business partner and I were testing in my kitchen as we launched our new personal chef business; every now and again I catch a breeze that reminds me of the mild, yet crisp weather that day. We were sitting in my kitchen making small talk about our mission statement, our business strategy, and our holiday plans when the breaking story came on the news: a school in Newtown, CT was under attack.
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My then five-year-old nephew lived in Brookfield, CT an adjoining town to Newtown. My heart began to race and full-on panic ensued as my mind conjured images of a possible terrorist attack on elementary schools. I assume I never got over the trauma of 09/11/01, when I was living in Hollywood, CA in an apartment building next to the Hollywood/Highland Kodak Theater, just under the Hollywood sign, just over the CNN building, and just to the right of downtown. I remember sitting on my rooftop looking around on that cursed day and realizing I lived right in the center of major landmarks in Hollywood. Would we be attacked? Would we survive? The underground gas explosion that occurred the next morning solidified the full-on PTSD reaction I had, and it came into play this fateful day. Was this school shooting an act of terrorism? Was my nephew safe? Was my daughter safe?
As my mind conjured every possible worst case scenario, my body took action and I grabbed my keys to run and pick up my third-grade-daughter to make sure she was safe. My business partner grabbed my arm and told me to calm down and wait until we heard additional information. I grudgingly agreed. We learned soon after that this was not a terrorist attack, but an isolated incident specific to one school and to one deranged, evil, sick, twisted beast. I calmed down enough to finish up the dishes we were cooking, and my partner agreed to stay with me and my sleeping four-year-old twins until my daughter returned home.
I hugged my daughter tighter than I ever had before, and tried my best to not alarm her. I realized that would be the last day I would ever put my children on a school bus without worrying and praying.
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It felt like an eternity before the school bus pulled up, and the driver and I exchanged a look – both knowing what was happening in Newtown, and both trying to not alert the children to what we were feeling. I hugged my daughter tighter than I ever had before, and tried my best to not alarm her. I realized that would be the last day I would ever put my children on a school bus without worrying and praying.
I pray each and every morning as I put my kids on the bus and ask God to surround them in a white protective light and to bring them home safe. What has become of this world where you have to fear sending your children to school? School shootings became a hot topic the next year in my twin’s kindergarten class when the school implemented lockdown drills – reminiscent of the stories my mother told me about atomic bomb drills she had to undergo when she was in school. My girls had to practice hiding under their desks as silently as possible. My five-year-old girls had to randomly practice how to survive if a real-life monster ever came to attack them! What has become of this world?
I learned that my nephew would have attended Sandy Hook Elementary School had he lived one street closer to the school. I also learned he attended pre-school with some of the victims. I don’t know that even three years later he has truly comprehended what happened. How could he? It is incomprehensible even for adults.
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I try to stay out of gun control debates on Facebook and other social media. I see people who are passionate about their second amendment rights, and who feel Obama wants to take their guns. “Blaming guns for mass shootings is like blaming a car for a drunk driving fatality.” I get the argument. I understand the fear of losing rights. What has become of this world?
We are so busy in the chatter and the noise that comes from gun control and mental health debates that nothing is being done about the problem. Mass shootings continue to happen as we point fingers and get clouded in debate and ignore the issue at hand. We have become so desensitized to gun violence that when news breaks about a mass shooting, it isn’t covered in the same way Sandy Hook was covered. I’m guilty of initially reacting to last week’s shooting with an “oh, again?” response. Shameful, but telling. What has become of this world?
People Magazine has taken a bold stance and spoken out about gun control. The Editorial Director used his weekly Editor’s letter to put out a call to action to speak out on gun control by listing the contact information of all 535 voting member of the house and senate (click here for link to article and list). I applaud People Magazine and will encourage as many people as possible to heed this call. It is time for us to take action. It is time to take a stand. I understand people’s passionate views about guns, but if everyone of us don’t see that something must be done? I truly fear for our children’s futures.
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I think most parents spend a lot of time teaching children how to resolve conflicts. We advise our children when to shut up and listen, when and how to argue their side of an issue, and how to have respect and tact when agreements can’t immediately be reached. Even if it takes a time-out to get our children in the correct mind frame, we do what is necessary to solve problems and come to a place of compromise.
Why do we forget as adults the basics to solving a problem or coming to a place of compromise? If it is not a gun control issue, and is not a mental health issue, what is the issue? What is the solution? It is time we have a fair and reasonable conversation about the ridiculous number of mass shootings in America and take action as a society to find the solution. We need to look past the noise of debate and anger and passionate viewpoints and get to the bottom line: our children’s safety. Perhaps we all need a time-out to remind ourselves how to get this problem solved!
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What do you think? Share this on Facebook to spread the word and share your thoughts on Twitter: #answerthecallonguns @people @goodmenproject
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Photo: flickr/US Embassy Canada
Originally appeared on Dad’s Daily Buzz. Reprinted with permission.
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Can you think of a “compromise” that will satisfy short of complete confiscation?