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What Are Life Skills?
Life skills are all those things we do most of the days of our lives without even thinking too much about it. Things like how to do laundry or paying bills. Do you know if your teenager knows how to do those things? Then there are also skills such as how to take criticism and to discern if it is justified in the first place. When you distill adulthood down to its most basic level you are left with a seemingly endless string of decisions. Our teenagers go from having us helping them make all sorts of decisions to being the decision maker of their lives in varying lengths of time and success. However one psychologist, Dr. Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, has actually labeled this phase the “emerging adult” period. He suggests a teen’s success, or failure, depends largely on how well their parents do at teaching them life skills.
The Importance Of Life Skills
Usually we talk about form and function as elements of architecture. Basically, ‘form follows function’ means buildings should be designed according to their intended use. Well, I happen to believe successful lives are not all that different. By helping our teens acquire the proper life skills to be successful adults, we help them create strong, independent lives. It is a popular cliché that boys and men do not cook or clean when it is usually more a matter of they do not know enough to feel confident about using those skills. Raising confident sons who can take care of themselves ultimately helps them become strong men, fathers, and leaders.
The Basics
When we allow our sons to be fully dependent on their mothers or us for all their personal needs is not doing the men they will become any favors. Boys should learn to care for their personal needs.
- Laundry—If your son has a driver’s license but doesn’t know how to do his own laundry thankfully there is still time to teach him how the washer and dryer work.
- Cooking—No, ramen does not count. Making sure your son can shop for and prepare his own food is important. Young men often become adult men with poor eating habits because they never really learned how to cook.
- Banking and Bill Paying—Teaching your son how to manage his finances and to pay his bills on time is going to save you from lots of, “Dad, I need money” phone calls.
- Housekeeping—If you son grows up hoping his girlfriend or wife is going to clean up after him he might also need lessons in loneliness. Girls are learning they are more than just housekeepers so chances are they are not going to want to have a relationship with men who have this expectation.
Of course these are just a very few of the basic life skills young men need to prepare themselves for a successful future.
Take A Look Across The Aisle
Dads, I don’t know if you have noticed but there is a huge ‘girl power’ movement happening in this country. It is a wonderful thing too. However, sometimes it makes me concerned for the young men. Flip on the television any night of the week and it won’t be hard for you to find a program with a father who is depicted as hapless and helpless. Our generation was part of the first wave of children of divorce. The absence of the father figure has harmed us and our sons. Young men are not learning to be strong men from good fathers anymore. The crazy thing about it is we men are the only ones who can do anything about it.
The Next Level
If we expect our teenage sons to grow to be great men then we certainly need to step up our game.
- Respect—Teaching our sons to respect women is so important. But, I also think we need to showing our boys they need to be respecting themselves.
- Taking Compliments—As men, we strive to do things well but we also tend to not want anyone to notice. Girls are getting the ‘pride’ message but are our sons? Boys need to be taught it is okay to be recognized for their achievements.
- Accepting Criticism—There is a real art to accepting criticism. Sometimes our egos get in the way and we don’t want to admit we were wrong. We need to do a better job of teaching our sons to honestly self-evaluate and change direction when necessary.
- Walking Away—Boys are supposed to be strong, right? That has been the message for generations but times have changed and I think our boys are not learning when it is time to walk away from bad situations especially substance abuse.
- Bouncing Back—It used to be a man worked for the same company his whole life. It would be rare for today’s young men to find that type of opportunity. As layoffs happen, the men who can move one quickly are the ones who will be re-employed quickly.
- Negotiation—Today’s teenager is growing up in an increasingly more competitive world. The boys who will win as men are the ones who are well versed in the art of negotiation.
No matter our son’s interests raising our teenagers to be good men needs to be our primary focus. The world is in need of good men.
This story has been republished to Medium.
Photo: iStock
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