We can see the importance of fathers by looking at their absence.
–––
by Jessica DeLaMora
No father
No love
Feelings eaten away
Crying myself to sleep
Wondering if I matter.
Seeing everyone else with their dads,
Not being Daddy’s little girl,
Listening to everyone talk about their dads.
Me?
Lucky enough to have a full memory
Of his time with me.
My dad, a big-hearted man to his two daughters
And to his family
A scary, tough, tattooed criminal to others.
In prison, locked up since 2003
Lies about coming out next year,
I’ve been told that for as long as I can remember.
Who knows what year he’ll be back out here?
Listening to different stories
About my father being locked up.
Not knowing the truth
Looking at him but
Not knowing the truth.
Getting up at 4 a.m. to go visit him in prison
A four-hour drive
Standing outside in the freezing weather.
Cops being mean, waiting to hear, “DeLaMora, Mike,”
Passing through all this trouble
Taking off my shoes, jewelry…
Being told what I can and cannot wear
Feeling like a criminal myself
When all I want is to be Daddy’s little girl.
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The Day My Life Changed. |
Photo Credit: Nisha A/Flickr
In my experience, there are events that can cut a little girls soul deeper then an absent, or abusive father, but not many. I’ve had women speak to me of this many times. I believe them, but this is the first time I’ve felt it.
That is the best compliment that I can lend to this writer; this poet.
Every little girl needs a loving daddy. Of this I am certain.