All Liam Johnson’s 4-year-old son wanted was a hamburger. But mean adults kept taking it away.
My 4-year-old son, Liam, has a few small medical problems, including a sensitivity to gluten (a protein found in wheat and some other grains) and casein (dairy protein).
In recent months, he’s taken to telling people the foods he can’t have. He likes announcing it to waiters, and to friends at picnics. “I can’t have dairy or wheat,” he’ll say.
The written word cannot convey just how cute this is, coming out of his little mouth, especially since he doesn’t really grasp what those things actually are. He just knows he can’t have them.
Two nights ago, we were at the local 99 Restaurant, and as so many restaurants do, they now have a gluten-free hamburger bun available. It’s essentially equivalent to serving a nice, thick juicy filet mignon on a paper plate with plastic utensils, in that the bun doesn’t taste so much like a hamburger bun as it does like a cross between sawdust (for that subtle dry, sandy feel you just can’t fake) and cement (for density).
Nevertheless, Liam likes it when he can get one of those, because it gives him the chance to eat a burger like his siblings do—in hand, in a bun. So, when we have the chance, we order it for him that way, making sure to emphasize that dairy is also a problem. No cheeseburgers for my boy.
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When the food came out, Liam’s burger had cheese on it. We noticed this just in time, as they were about to put it down in front of him, so it barely registered on Liam’s radar. Besides, two of his sisters’ entrees were not yet ready, so he wasn’t the only person without food.
It took them about five minutes to cook another burger. They set the cheese-less bruger down in front of him, and, just as he was about to dig in, I became suspicious. The bun looked way too tasty to be gluten-free. Without gluten, yeast doesn’t make the bun rise so much as anemically swell.
I asked the waitress what the deal was. What kind of bun was my son about to eat? She looked at the burger. “I’m not sure,” she conceded. “I stepped away and didn’t actually watch them make it. But, you’re right, it doesn’t look right. Let me go check.”
And so we had to take the burger away from Liam just as it was inches from his mouth. As you might imagine, he was not pleased. He’d been complaining about being hungry for a while (in a very polite way), he’d finally received his food, and now Mommy & Daddy were cruelly whisking it away.
He started crying. I picked him up and tried to distract him while the harried waitress hurried off to rectify the situation. I tried to console him as he sobbed in that heart-breaking 4-year-old way that screams, “What did I do? I’m sorry for whatever it was! Can I please have my food?”
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To try to help him understand, I explained that the burger had had the wrong bun on it, and that it would make him sick if he ate it. I assured him a new hamburger—an awesome hamburger— would be out momentarily.
And then, in an effort to engage him in the conversation, I said “You know why, right? What is it you can’t have?”
And, in the sort of pathetic, sobbing voice you just can’t fake, Liam responded, “My hamburger?”
Words can’t express the mixture of emotions I felt at that moment. A titter swept the table, because everyone was fully expecting Liam to respond, “Dairy and wheat.”
For me, though, there was nothing funny about it. All I could see was the anguish in my son’s eyes, knowing that he was still hungry, his food had been taken away, and for some reason Mommy & Daddy had cooperated in this injustice.
The most tragic moment of his life? If so, he’ll be a lucky boy. Still, the incident was a poignant reminder that we can’t protect our children from all of the little pains of life. There will always be life’s hamburgers.
a touching story, man.
Wow, what a change in me since I became a dad, I can really imagine this happening and as a consequence I’ve got tears in my eyes. Must never read these things at the office, very embarrassing! Thanks though, nice reminder of the world from their view.
Poor tyke. I have a gluten and diary sensitivity too and haven’t eaten those things in over a year. Luckily for him that he can eat the substitutes like corn, rice and beans. I can’t eat those either. He’ll have his challenges in life. God bless him.