Joanna Schroeder finally revealed to her children just how much of a maniac she truly is.
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I just officially taught my children how to completely overreact and behave like maniacs.
We saw a huge spider in the kitchen. In our house, we have a policy to never kill anything that isn’t trying to hurt us. So Izz went at it with a cup, and I had a piece of paper to put under the cup to escort this spider outside. The spider was 3 inches long. I’m not being dramatic. It was 3 inches.
The spider jumped away from the cup and ran away, top speed. This is where things got totally out of control. I screamed at the top of my lungs and climbed on top of the table.
Mind you, I’m not a freaker-outer. Honestly, I am not. So at that moment, both kids witnessing my screaming started screaming. Then I screamed again, and they screamed again. We were all on top of the table. The spider had run deeper into the living room, presumably under the couch.
So, how did I teach the kids to be complete maniacs? I made them help me take the entire couch apart (including flipping it upside down), strip the covers off, then put it back together, move the coffee table and sweep under the other couch… Apparently, that’s what did it, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Next thing I knew, having given up, I looked over at the basket full of kids’ shoes and there he was. Staring at me. I said, quietly, “There he is.”
The kids stood on the coffee table. I picked up Izz’s shoe. They wanted me to kill him. I didn’t want to kill him. I felt bad. But I was so afraid! I screamed as I took aim and then chickened out. They screamed in response.
Finally Izz came forward and took the shoe from me. “Mom, just let me do this. Don’t be such a little girl.”
Then I realized that I had to be the one to do it, because I couldn’t let my 8 year old suddenly have a memory of having to take care of something for his mother. I was so afraid I’d miss it, that it would run away, that I would never be able to enter the living room again. And so I made them run to get one of their dad’s shoes (size 14) from the bedroom so I’d have a better chance.
So I gave in and killed it. It would’ve run deeper into the shoes had I not and I would’ve been outside in the dark with my kids dumping out every shoe. And screaming.
So, it’s dead. And my kids are watching Phineas and Ferb and all is well. Except now my kids know how much of a freak their mother is.
(A fact I’d been hiding).
Photo: Flicker/lizzardo
I’m the spider-killer in our house – my husband is totally icked out by them and will only go near them if he has to – but like Izz, I hate killing and feel bad for it every time. Almost in a masochistic way, I’ve made myself watch a spider twitch and die after I sprayed it with spider spray. One too many times of that and I’ve decided, no more insecticides, that’s just cruel. My husband can use it if he wants but I’m done with it. I will still kill a spider if we’re confronted with one (though… Read more »
Joanna, I’m curious as to how your husband would have handled the situation? Also, I’m Kinda curious as to how you viewed the comment “like a little girl?” Do you think guys in general look at these little critters differently then girls? Just yesterday I was taking a break at work and was sitting at a picnic table and there in front of me was a spider which I’d never seen the likes of. Hairy, bumpy and looking closely I would even categorize it as muscular. I actually found myself playing with it, moving things around so that it would… Read more »
I’d say that the sight of you screaming in terror of a spider and jumping on the table is sending a powerful message about how to confront fear.
Then I realized that I had to be the one to do it, because I couldn’t let my 8 year old suddenly have a memory of having to take care of something for his mother.
Im curious. Why couldn’t you let your 8 year old do this for you? Are you of the mind that there would be some negative consequence of that happening?
I don’t want my kids to think they need to take care of me. They so young, that’s not their job. My job is to care for them, not the other way around.
They can care for me in other ways, like bringing me a glass of water when I’m sick, or something sweet like that. But I still need to be the hero, you know?
But I still need to be the hero, you know? Oh I know. I know because, even though I bet you don’t mean it, it sounds a bit like a dad that wants his kids (to show his sons what kind of man he needs to be be and/or to show his daughters what kind of man they need to choose) to know that he is invincible. (Or I may still be overthinking my thoughts behind my last post over at my blog.) I really don’t mean to pry (so feel free to ignore this bit). Just finding it weird… Read more »
I think it’s super important for kids to feel like they get a long time at being kids, and not have to take care of their parents. I don’t actually want my kids taking care of me when I’m sick, but showing signs of thoughtfulness (ie a glass of water) are important. Izz was set to catch the spider the first time, because he actually really likes to do it. He doesn’t like killing creatures, so that was another reason why. I didn’t want him to feel forced to do something that’s not really in his nature because his mom… Read more »
Oh yeah it makes sense. I guess my experiences just took me to a different conclusion.