Tommy Maloney gave his son Connor a bad rep at school. But he’s an awesome dad. How can that be?
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From time to time my evilness comes out.
Come on, admit it—yours does, too.
As I’m about to explain, my particular brand of evil made my son’s friends hate him—but in the best way—and made him love me all the more.
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And when it does, I really don’t care about the consequences, especially when it comes to my son Connor. Now before you out me as a bad dad on Twitter or call child and family services, bear with me. There’s a method to my madness. And as I’m about to explain, my particular brand of evil made my son’s friends hate him—but in the best way—and made him love me all the more.
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In grade school “Steve” was brought lunch every week, and he received a full helping of the hatred that came with it.
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I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and other than the best pizza on this planet (don’t even think about challenging me on that), one of my favorite childhood meals was McDonalds. Like everyone else, I was drawn by the powerful aroma of those fries. When I was in middle school, there was a horribly unfair weekly routine involving a classmate of mine, and I have picked up the torch to make my son Connor the “Hated Kid” at lunchtime. Now don’t get ahead of me and call in the bully police; just let me tell the story. In grade school “Steve” was brought lunch every week, and he received a full helping of the hatred that came with it. Because Steve’s mom brought him McDonalds. We all despised him for it, and we despised our lame parents for not doing for us what Steve’s mom did for him. And now I’ve continued this tradition with Connor.
I love sitting at the table next to him and hearing about his day while his friends try to negotiate a trade of lunch foods—how cool is that!
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My special delivery is not always a Big Mac and fries. Connor is not a health nut, but he is more conscious of his diet than I was at age 12—do I need to mention the smell of those fries again? When I call him to let him know I want to come and have lunch with him, he might ask for Subway or sometimes Chick fil A. The point is not what food I bring but just being there to have lunch with my son. I love sitting at the table next to him and hearing about his day while his friends try to negotiate a trade of lunch foods—how cool is that! A quick side note to you parents of when it comes to packing lunch; Ask you kids what they want! Most of you probably do, but remember they don’t have the luxury of dashing over to the mall’s food court and choosing what they want to eat. I am not encouraging you to bring fast food to your kids everyday—that would be truly evil—but they do need variety, even though I was the kid who ate a PB&J everyday and was happy. The bottom line is this: if you work within a reasonable distance of your kid’s school, reschedule your lunch meeting and go and have lunch with your kid. Because I’m the only dad at the table, sitting with my hated kid.
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The roles of dads are changing, and we need to find ways to be more present in the lives of our kids. You can start by creating the time in your daily agenda.
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The roles of dads are changing, and we need to find ways to be more present in the lives of our kids. You can start by creating the time in your daily agenda. Be that guy who takes time out of his schedule to stop by and bring your kids lunch. I understand that when you’re not at work you may not be getting paid, but there is a bigger payoff for your family than a paycheck when you’re the guy whose kid’s friends say, “I wish my dad brought me lunch.” You might even start a trend.
Whether you’re bringing or packing—and I mean lunch, not heat—ask your kids what they want for lunch and don’t roll your eyes if they want their favorite fast food or something from the health food store. Just ask. And if they want $5 mac and cheese from a local restaurant when you know it comes out of the box you can buy for $.99, just do it.
Interact with your kid’s friends. Play catch, kickball, even four square—remember that game? Or video games if that’s what they’re into. Don’t just show up. Be on the same team as your kid. Have fun and don’t be afraid to get dirty.
Recently I went to Connor’s basketball game, and as I was sitting there watching the warmups, a kid sitting next to his dad looked over at me and said “Hi Mr. Baloney!” I have known that kid since he was in kindergarten, and even though he flubbed my name, he remembered me. That’s the guy I want to be. And that’s the dad I want to be. How about you?
Photo—woodleywonderworks/Flickr
If your idea of good pizza is a greasy overrated manhole cover than maybe it is ok.