Meeting My Sperm-Donor Dad

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About Ben Sommer

Ben Sommer is currently a senior at Carleton College in Minnesota where he studies English and creative writing.


  1. Ben, this is an awesome story. I can’t wait to read the rest. I’m glad you’re telling your story.

  2. I have a lesbian daughter and she and her partner have two children with the same “father.” I sometimes wonder when (if ever) the children will want to meet their donor, and how it will play out. So it will be fascinating to read part 2. Well done for sharing this.

  3. Ben, thanks for sharing this story. I look forward to reading part 2.

  4. You are one brave soul! Like others here, I look forward to part 2!

  5. Ben,

    Great story and I had no idea there were so many in your shoes. I’m a single mom and really there are a lot of parallels. Can’t wait to read part 2.

  6. Hi Ben,
    I read your post with interest and look forward to part 2. My spouse and I (thank you to the state of Iowa) have an 8month old son, conceived with an identity-donor from TSBC. The identity-donor program, as well as the research they conduct, was an important aspect of our decision to use TSBC services. I expect your posts will be reading for our son one day. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Compelling stuff Ben, can’t wait for the finale.

    My aunt and her partner had two artificially inseminated daughters with a third-party friend. Then they split up. My aunt married another woman and had three more kids through artificial insemination using a donor they did not know. The youngest are now 8 years old and it never occurred to me they might one day want to know who their father is. But I think that’s a testament to the parenting they already get, because it doesn’t seem like anything is missing. Sounds like your situation.

    Anyways, thanks for sharing and I can’t wait for Part II.

  8. Noah Coolidge says:

    Really great story. Can’t wait for the rest.

  9. Ellen Brodsky says:

    You write so well. What a great, compelling story about the common and uncommon! I will share this with many friends. Can’t wait for part two. Valentines’s Day is such an interesting choice – as the story is so infused with love.

  10. Thanks Ben,
    Your story is so engaging and written with such heartfelt clarity. I first met one of your moms when we were about the age you are now. She was already such a community builder, exuding such powerful love and intellect. It’s fascinating to read your piece and see those qualities —among many others— in you. Thank you for this! …and now I know a second thing I want to do on Valentine’s Day!

  11. Helen Laughlin says:

    What beautiful writing and what a beautiful soul you are! I await Part Two eagerly. I am so proud of who you are and celebrate your courage in meeting your Sperm-donor Dad. Dick often said what great parents you had in your two Moms. You know that I have always concurred! I love you,
    Grandma Helen

  12. Kim Beckman says:

    I remember the binder that contained Donor #35′s bio and the giddy laughter that came with your moms’ choosing. Your clear and straight-up (so to speak) telling of the tale is courage in action. I’ll be back on February 14th for the unfolding of the tale. Much love, Aunt Kim

  13. Priscilla Ballou says:

    Ben, I knew your moms back before you were born, and I met you by chance with one or both of your moms from time to time through the years. Your sister, too.

    It’s so wonderful to read what you’re writing and to see what a bright, articulate, and grounded young man you are growing up to be. More power to you. I have a feeling the world is going to continue to hear from you!

    Priscilla Ballou, Roslindale, MA

  14. COLAGE: People with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer parent applaud you for sharing your story, and applaud all of you who are commenting and discussing these issues. COLAGE recently released a Donor Insemination (DI) Guide and launched a new website to provide community to all of us who have an LGBTQ parent! Check it out :)


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