My Biggest Fear as a Father? That My Son Will Grow Up Just Like Me.

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About Mickey Fuertes

Mickey Fuertes is the proud father of a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. He has written about his adventures in fatherhood since 2010, when he started a personal blog called Sippycups & Cufflinks.

Comments

  1. Tom Brechlin says:

    First things first…. You concluded by saying “….he would never grow up to be a jerk like me.” You are not a jerk, maybe you were when you were younger but it appears you’ve changed.

    Keep the bar high for your son. Believe it or not, he will appreciate it some day. Last Fathers day my grown son said in a hand written card said “Hard work, caring, giving and love. You’ve taught me the true meaning of these. I often think of those tough lessons that went along with these words. Thank you Dad”

    Keeping that bar high is a lot of work, it’s tiring but well worth it in the end. What you’re gonna find is that he will often meet that bar, at which point it’s no longer “your” bar but his own. All you’re doing is seeing that he maintains his bar.

    In so far as you’re being a jerk when you were younger, people change. We learn from our mistakes, recognizing our short comings is half the battle.

    No matter you’re motivation, the truth is that you want the best for your son. There is nothing wrong with that.

  2. “What you’re gonna find is that he will often meet that bar, at which point it’s no longer ‘your’ bar but his own. All you’re doing is seeing that he maintains his bar.” – thank you for this Tom. It truly means a lot to me.

  3. Forgive yourself for the man you used to be. It certainly sounds like you’ll never forget it and make those mistakes again. It is great to have the bar set high, we need to learn to struggle to achieve success. But be brave enough to let him make mistakes so he can learn from them as well.

  4. Thanks Tom. I think it is important for us to be able to have these conversations in an open and sincere way. I know for me it serves as a cathartic exercise when I write these longer pieces. And it is encouraging to have found a network/community of articulate and intelligent fathers who can share their experiences and words of wisdom. I know that we can all walk away from these interactions as better men and, ultimately, as better fathers.

  5. Brian Purnell says:

    One of the best reflections on fatherhood I’ve ever read. Thank you Cuff. You the man!

  6. Sarah S. says:

    I think the suspicion that is nagging at you (that you’re too hard on your kid) is probably right, and I’ll fix the problem: your kid doesn’t have “infinite potential.” He’s just a normal kid, and not an angel. All the kids I knew with super-strict parents rebelled (and some were huge jerks, too). Just work on being reasonable and keep being loving, and he’ll meet the potential he inherently has.

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