James Tew is tired of being looked at as a substitute for mom. He is a parent too.
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“I see you’re playing dad today?”
This comment annoys me. A lot. Unfortunately, it is all too common here in Australia, and I’m guilty of using it too. But I’m making a stand and I’m inviting you to make a stand with me.
As the primary caregiver to four daughters, I “play” dad every day. From the school run to cleaning up spew and trips to the doctors, I do it.
This is after eight years of my wife following me around the country as I serve in the Australian military. Now it’s her turn to chase her career aspirations while I look after things at home.
Now I’m not going to stand here and tell you that I’m perfect. I’m far from it. There are mountains of clothes that need to be folded, the dishwasher isn’t packed and I can’t remember the last time I cleaned the toilets.
But one thing that I do well is parent. I don’t play parent. I don’t play dad.
I am Dad.
Today, a friend of mine posted a status on Facebook saying she won’t be going to any women-only events because while they promote equality, not allowing men to attend is hardly equal.
This statement made me smile.
I am 100 percent for equality. I believe all men and women should be afforded the same opportunities in life. However, we don’t treat men as equals when it comes to parenting.
Just take a look at brands. They love dad bashing. They have done so for a long time.
Until recently.
Us men, well, we’re beginning to stand up for ourselves because in spite of what you think—we are parents too. We are competent, we know how to look after our children and most importantly, we do know what is in their best interest.
Many of the men out there leading the charge against this inequality towards male caregivers write here at The Good Men Project. We write and speak out about this because we want to create a better world for our sons and daughters.
If my daughters grow up with me involved in their lives, they’ll know what standard to expected because at the end of the day fathers should be just as involved as the mother.
This isn’t the 1950’s Toto.
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Photo: GettyImages
It’s also common here. “playing dad” or “dad is baby sitting today” and even worse in divorce cases “dad’s visitation” rights. The only thing I take issue with is “This isn’t the 1950’s toto.” I don’t know what happen through the years but in realities, dad’s in those days were in fact VERY involved with their kids. I know my dad was in the 50’s-70’s. Back when you didn’t have to chose between a mortgage payment or tickets to a ball game, we often went to sports games. “Little league” was coached by dad’s who cared more about having fun… Read more »