Po-tate-o, Po-tat-o

 

“Look at that dumb fuck, Daddy,” said my 3-year-old from his car seat.

“Where?” I asked. There were quite a few around us, he could have been talking about any of them.

“The white one,” he continued.

That narrowed it down. There was only one that fit that description.

“That dumb fuck is dirty,” he said. “Why is that dumb fuck so dirty?”

I considered my options. Carefully.

“Some are dirtier than others,” I replied. “It comes with the territory.”

We were sitting outside Starbucks waiting for my wife. We were passing the time the way men do, talking about our feelings, scratching what itches, and cursing a little—some of us more than others.

“Do you like dumb fucks, Daddy?” he asked. It had an added air of the rhetorical.

“I don’t like being too close to them,” I answered. “They are pretty fun to watch, though.”

My wife returned with our coffee and took a seat in the car.

“Mommy, did you see all the dumb fucks?”

I knew that she had.

“Honey,” she said with a straight face. “They are called dump trucks.”

“Dumb fucks,” he repeated.

“Exactly,” I told him, and we sipped our coffee as he watched the last one rumble past.

Originally published on DadCentric.com (If you haven’t checked DadCentric out, do so. They are one of the rockstars of parenting blogs). Whit Honea also performed this post (to riotous laughter) at the #Dad2Summit.
Photo: TobyOtter / Flickr
About Whit Honea

Whit Honea is an award-winning writer, blogger, and producer living in the greater Los Angeles area with his wife, two sons, and way too many pets. His online work can be found on such popular sites as Babble, GeekDad, and DadCentric. His personal blog is called Honea Express, because Honea sounds like pony, and it's actually quite clever when you think about it.

Comments

  1. Mason says:

    Friar Fucks are fairly popular around our house!

  2. That made me laugh! Didn’t see it coming! My son is into rhyming right now! Sometimes he just rhymes made-up, nonsense words. Other times he puts a word or two together that brings the house down (or clears the room). Did you know that “Gassy” and “Assy” rhyme? How ’bout “Flicker”, “Licker” and “Dicker”? I can confidently tell you that EVERYONE at our local grocery store is now aware of those rhyming words!
    Justin- Writing Pad Dad
    Follow my blog!

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