J.R. Reed learned a lot about his teenaged daughter by getting stranded in a broken down car in a grocery store parking lot.
My teenage daughter (whom I affectionately refer to as Drama Queen) and I had a date on Sunday. A hockey date.
Never before had she uttered the words, “What hockey game is on tomorrow?” Nor has she asked, “Can we watch the Kings game?” But on Saturday she said both.
That night, she slept at Grandma’s house. I picked her up at 11:00 Sunday so we could get back before the noon game. Of course when I got there she wasn’t ready, so 11:00 became more like 11:20, which meant we needed to hurry when we stopped at the grocery store on the way home. I was wearing my authentic 1990 LA Kings black with silver Marty McSorley jersey and got a couple head nods from people in the store. You know that nod… as if to say, “Right on.”
We grabbed some raspberry lemonade, chicken and pork chops then hopped in the car. Turning the key in the ignition, I heard the sound every driver cringes at.
“Click, click click,” went the engine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
C’mon, I told myself. Don’t get stressed. It’ll all be good.
The only things I know about cars are how to change the oil, add fluids, check the air filter and (until my 2009 Dodge) change the battery. I don’t know why they started putting batteries in odd places, but I can’t seem to get to mine now. I digress.
After a couple text messages from friends, I was told to bang on the spark plugs with something. I found one of those cheap all-in-one tools in the back of the car and proceeded to tap the spark plugs. Of course I got the same result, and after fifteen minutes my daughter started to get uncomfortable.
“If I can’t figure this out in the next fifteen or twenty minutes,” I told my daughter, “I’ll call and see if grandma can pick you up.”
“No,” she said. “It’s okay. I’d rather spend time with you.”
Hearing that made me happy—but I felt bad for her being stuck in this situation. “Are you sure?” I asked. We could be here a while.”
We had the same conversation 45 minutes later and again at an hour. Each time she repeated that she would rather stay in a grocery store parking lot with me than relax in comfort at Grandma’s house.
And so we listened to the game in the car. My brother came and we figured out how to get the car home, and we saw the last eight miserable minutes of the Kings’ loss on our TV.
It would have been cool to sit with my daughter and watch LA sweep their way into the Stanley Cup Finals, like the game I watched in 1993 that sent Gretzky & Co.
The bottom line? It may not sound like a lot but the fact that a teenage girl wanted to spend Sunday afternoon with her dad in a grocery store parking lot spoke volumes to me. I’ve been lacking in self-esteem lately and that gave me the shot I needed.
I love when life takes a crappy situation and puts a positive spin on it.
*After the game we recorded my podcast and she was my in-studio guest. When you’re done here, listen as we debate “To Glee or Not To Glee.”
Photo of Man Pushing a Car courtesy of Shutterstock
About J.R. Reed
Lovely post, I love dads! The men who are posting on here about their experiences warm my heart and make me feel so positive towards men in general. I wish I’d had a dad like one of you guys, the only consolation is that I married one and my kids will.
I have only cried once in my life (I am talking full tears, bawling like a newborn crying) and it was when my youngest daughter was in grade 12. She had an assignment to cook a full turkey dinner for her home economics class. It turned out great and everyone seemed to enjoy it. The one thing everyone commented on (including the teacher) was how moist the turkey was and subsequently how great the gravy tasted. The teacher asked her the secret and jokingly she told the teacher she couldn’t because she would have to get permission from her dad. The teacher was quite amazed because she never realized that her dad (ME) was the one who taught her how to cook. My wife can cook and is very good BUT she hates to cook , me I am a good cook and also LOVE to try it out.
As a result of this thing with the turkey she was asked by another teacher to write an essay detailing how her dad has influenced her life. She won an award at the school for both content and writing style and was asked to read it at a local language fair. When she read it, I actually full out cried.
The things I did, I didn’t consider special, just things I liked to do and things we both liked to do together. I wonder perhaps if that is what makes it special, that it was so common for us to do thing together that it was “no big thing”.
One other ‘weird’ thing we do together is play online games. ala World of Warcraft. My daughter is in a guild which is quite good and is in the top 10 in the world ( a big deal for those in the know), she was asked one day by the guild leader if she knew a decent healer, they were blown away when she told them “My dad has a level 85 healer and is quite good”. I joined them and have been in the guild ever since.
I know alot of people who look down on MMORPG and how they are anti social, but my daughter is now 24 , done university and out working and has moved far away from home BUT we still play online a couple of times a week. For us, it has become our way of staying in touch, catching up on our lives and having some fun together
It’s all about moderation – I think the difficult thing with mmorpgs is that certain elements of them are designed to encourage you to overplay. But I think that’s a very cool and unique way to bond with your daughter!!
A heart warming read. Have a handful of like memories with my teenaged (now twenty something) daughters. Wouldn’t trade ‘em for anything – safe maybe for tickets to the NBA finals, Superbowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, World Cup, Olympics…
Wishing I had a dad who actually wanted to spend time with me. Gambling and alcohol were his companions. OK, got that off my back.
I LOVE hearing dad and daughter stories – despite the element of envy, they give me hope for all our kids.
I always had my son involved with me. Once we volunteered to plant trees to hold an embankment at a local high school. Don’t wait until the kids are older to be involved. I started teaching my son to cook when he was two. He would stand and watch me on a stool and do things like turn burgers. Sometimes you have to think ahead about what is needed a what to watch for.
It was funny my son was doing gourmet cooking for his girl friends in high school. Breakdowns are good teachers because your daughter was also observing you being patient and persistant. Remember you’re always being watched.