The Oscars are done, now it’s time to talk about what real-life dads wear. Ariel Chesler breaks down the fundamentals of Real Dad Fashion.
–
Now that we’ve come down from the high of Oscars fashion, it’s time for something a little more practical: Dad Fashion (TM). What’s that, you ask? It’s the stuff that Real Dads (TM) can be found wearing in an average week. And, in particular, we’ll be looking at the wardrobes of fathers with young children.
First up, the Last Good Suit. This is a Real Dad’s go to suit, the one he wears to work most often. It is very likely to be navy blue, well worn, but still in good shape. It’s comfortable and versatile as it can be paired with a number of shirt and tie combinations. Today, our Last Good Suit model – Kevin – is wearing his with a light blue shirt and a brown tie. As he spins, you’ll see, uh . . . wait a minute. It seems the crotch on the pants has begun to rip, and what’s that? It appears to be a combination of oatmeal and yogurt on the back of his jacket. Just keep smiling, folks. Let’s not tell him. He’s managed to wrangle his older child out the door for prescholol and he’s already late for work as it is.
Next, we have David who’s modeling what we call the “Goddamnit my Last Good Suit is being cleaned” look. Some may refer to this look as business casual. Others like to think of it as the outfit they wear when it’s raining or snowing or the “I just can’t be in a suit today” look. This look is convenient as it consists of pairing the first pair of slacks and first shirt you find in the closet. Thanks David.
What about date nights, you are wondering? Well, stop it. Those never happen. We don’t even have a model for this one. Real Dads date on the couch. With the invention of Netflix and food delivery services, and the difficulty in securing childcare, not to mention the exhaustion, why bother? This look can range from Weekend Jeans (see below) paired with a sweatshirt to sweatpants and T-shirt. If there comes a day that a Real Date Night is taking place, the Real Dad is advised to throw on a pair of Khakis and that Last Good Casual Buttondown.
What should a Real Dad wear on the weekend? “Weekend Jeans”, of course. Here we have Danny in his Weekend Jeans paired with his college sweatshirt, which, truthfully, just makes him feel old. Weekend Jeans are good for sitting around and drinking coffee wondering how to survive two full days with the little monsters. They are also great for playing at playground or park, walking for hours in a museum, or attending storytime or music activities. Planning on doing an art project? Weekend Jeans have you covered. That’s right, they’ve already been splattered with everything imaginable, including whatever the kids ate last weekend, so go for it.
What if a Real Dad manages to find time to exercise? I’d like to tell you that this workout outfit consists of matching workout shorts and T-Shirt. But, it doesn’t. Unlike this model (above), the Real Dad only needs two things to workout: His boxers and the old T-shirt he wore to bed the night before. Look, the Real Dad has mere minutes to exercise before he may be interrupted by a child who wants to crawl under him as he attempts push-ups or who needs to be held during squats. Good luck keeping in shape!
What else is left in the closet? There’s the wedding tuxedo! Unfortunately, our model for this look – John – refuses to join us, even though he insists that the tux “absolutely still fits” him, but that he “just doesn’t feel like trying it on.” Maybe another time, John.
Next time, join us for a look at Real Dad Socks, also known as “I can see Daddy’s toes.”
–
Photo credits, in order top to bottom. All from Flickr: grendellion, JonoMueller, Victor1558, Pink Sherbet Photography, mikebaird.