Watching the 2014 World Cup made Russ Clark realize that he’s a different man than he was the last time he watched the World Cup. The reason? The upcoming birth of his first child.
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It was 6:30 am on Father’s Day morning—the first Father’s Day that had any meaning to me and my role as a dad. I awoke from a short sleep that was fueled by beers the night before at a local dive bar. I was tired, but my habitual internal alarm had me up and unable to fall back asleep.
My wife, with her basketball-sized belly heard me stirring, rolled over and said, “Happy Father’s Day, what do you want to do today?” “Finish painting the dresser,” I said with one foot already on the floor. “Can you help me roll it outside?” I asked. “I want to work on it now.”
She looked at me with questioning eyes. We had barely been awake for five minutes, and I wanted to start a DIY project? Before the sun had even risen over the horizon? “What has gotten into you?” she said, with a voice that told me she wanted coffee.
What has gotten into me? I have never been one to sleep past 7 am, but my early morning hours were usually spent on SportsCenter, running, or catching up on the DVR’d shows I missed the night before.
It’s HER, isn’t it? She’s changing me… already.
As I think back over the past few months, I can see a steady pattern of change in my behavior. My own desires have slowly begun to take a backseat to her needs. As she has been developing from an embryo to a fetus and eventually to a child, I have been evolving as well.
The responsibility of caring for our child is making me a better person, and I won’t even meet her for another three months. My drive has improved as my desire to create an amazing life for our daughter has seemingly taken all precedent. I’ve noticed I work harder, take more pride in projects, and concentrate deeper on important tasks.
In the past, I have struggled through periods of apathy which obviously included a lack of motivation. But, as I look back over the past year or so, I can see an upward trend of optimism and work ethic. Taking a look further back, I notice an even greater change.
When the World Cup started recently, a friend texted me and asked, “Remember where we were eight years ago for the World Cup?”
I did remember. We were at a friend’s beach house—our only responsibilities being beer consumption and sun-screen application. Had I been keeping a Google calendar at the time it would have looked like this:
And, this past Sunday, I received a text from another friend which read, “Bar—Monday at 6, we are recreating the 2010 World Cup.”
Four years ago, I sat with two of my best friends at an Irish pub in Rome, Italy, drunk from whiskey and a red-eye from Philadelphia. It was the first night of our ten-day tour of Italy and Spain. We had graduated from beach house and beers to “Aqua de Valencia” in Valencia.
[Side note: I never considered myself a big drinker, but, upon reflection, I’m noticing a disturbing trend…]
Oh yes, things have changed. But, as great as those times were, I can say that I have never felt as excited or as fulfilled as I currently do. Being in a strong marriage with my wife, preparing for the birth of our daughter, and having these responsibilities along with a solid direction have given my life more meaning.
The funny thing about comparing the past to the present is that, while there appears to be a lot of sacrifices being made, none of them feel like sacrifices. If you had told the 2006 or even 2010 version of me that instead of spending my Saturday at the beach, I’d be at Home Depot comparing shades of coral, I would have slapped you.
But I suppose this is growing up—recognizing what is important in life and allowing those aspects to hold more weight. Ultimately, I believe my current level of happiness is driven from a balanced life. My wife and I share a solid understanding that we both need opportunities to indulge in some low-level debauchery. A few hours to tickle the part of us that longs for the times of less structure and responsibility. With that in mind, she encouraged me to go ”Recreate the 2010 World Cup.”
So, as I sat at the bar watching the U.S. Men’s National team defeat Ghana in the 2014 World Cup, I downed a few beers and shared some laughs with friends as we remembered where we were for World Cups of the past. But, as the game wore on, my mind began to drift. My focus deviated from corner kicks and slide tackles to knobs and pulls for the now-coral dresser sitting in my living room.
A recreation of 2010, it was not—I arrived home around 8 o’clock and settled in on the couch with my wife. We turned on Bravo, watched an episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, and I was in bed by 10 pm. Man, things have definitely changed—and I’m perfectly happy with that.
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Originally appeared on TheNewFatherhood.com; Credit: Header Image—Mobilus In Mobili/Flickr; Other images courtesy of the author