Gay Dad Rob Watson felt that he wanted to approach the sex talk with his sons in an alternative way. By discussing intimacy, rather than procreation, he found it was a different discussion. Here is how it went.
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It is one of those rites of passages for a dad… the sex talk. My parents had done a pretty good job of it, so they thought, until I asked a question that sent them scurrying back to the drawing boards. (Watch the video to find out what that question was.)
Having worked with so many youth that were anything but just “straight”, I did not want to enter into the conversation having preconceived ideas on where my sons’ sexual instincts would lead them. I wanted to give them information that would fit whoever they turn out to be.
I also wanted to be honest about the nature of sex. While many couch this talk as the “where babies come from” discussion, a scant few actually save sex for only those times in which they want to have a baby. So, sex is obviously more than that. It was that “more” which I wanted to discuss with my sons.
I had my plan. I knew what I wanted to say about sex. I knew what I wanted to say about sexual orientation. Here is what happened when the inevitable day presented itself:
Photo: Flickr/Chris Smith
Well done, Rob. My favorite part is your sons’ reactions. While I haven’t had the “full” sex talk yet with my daughters, I’ve had plenty of mini-talks. We have talked about love, we have talked about sexual orientation, and most recently, kissing is the hot topic for my 11 year old. I like how you include that sex is not just about making babies, it’s about intimacy. That’s really important and I certainly did not hear that from my parents when I was given “The Talk”. I hope more parents share this truth with their kids. I have one question,… Read more »
Thanks for your comments Cindy! And what you said about the car…. Truth! We’ll have to ponder that one….
The car is best for the big questions/talks because neither party can leave the room!
Good point, Mike. I like that, plus, if I don’t choose to end the conversation, as the driver, I can circle the block a few times!
I find it works best to only reply to the question they ask, and in the simplest of terms. Of course it all depends on the question and their age. My husband has twin granddaughters who are now 7. I’ve been there all of their lives. They know that we live together, but don’t fully understand the relationship. They visited us last year and one of them counted the bedrooms and beds, then asked where I sleep. I pointed to the bedroom upstairs and she asked if I slept in the same room as her grandfather. I answered simply with… Read more »
Right on BB… !