Melanie Campbell believes we should stop stereotyping dads as not being equal parents and give them the recognition they deserve.
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I am not a feminist, I am not an anti-feminist. I am a human being who wants change. I am a human being who wants equality for men, women, and children.
It bothers me when I see parenting jokes depicting fathers as incapable, unaware, or unwilling to take care of their children’s needs. There are many memes circulating on social media like the Father’s Day T-shirt by Old Navy, ” It’s really HER day”, that are “meant” to be harmless/humorous, when in fact, it devalues fathers and men on a much broader perspective.
Those who know me, know I do not tolerate racism, gender bias, gay bashing, male bashing, women bashing, stereotyping, parental inequality, or sexism.
Perhaps if society viewed men as equal parents/partners then we would see a generational shift towards more men feeling empowered, secure, confident and comfortable in parenting and caring for their children.
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Every father I know including my husband are hands on parents. They share equal responsibility in caring for their children. My husband changed diaper’s, feeds our children, dresses them, gets them ready, reads to them, helps them with homework, and gets up in the middle of the night to comfort our 3-year-old when she wakes up crying from a bad dream. He has a full-time career, and I work part time. Like any parent he finds life can be challenging, striving to find the right balance, being a father, a husband and having a career.
As someone who believes in equality, I resent the gender bias and stereotyping of fathers being incapable of parenting.
My husband doesn’t babysit—he parents—just like I don’t babysit—I parent.
Society tends to use the excuse that men don’t have the same or equal maternal instinct as women do, which is not true, and only contributes to an outdated stereotype. I am not saying this to disparage the concept of a motherly instinct, but there’s also a fatherly instinct.
The only thing that men cannot do is breastfeed. I wish society would stop the portrayal of negative images/jokes/advertising of fathers lack of participation in their children’s lives. I would like to see more positive role modeling advertising/promoting of fathers. Men need to be supported for their parenting efforts in equality, not discouraged, devalued, belittled, or mocked.
We should encourage the importance of father’s roles in their children’s lives. Not mock them.
If we all started within our own homes by focusing on increasing our son’s emotional intelligence perhaps more young men would grow up wanting, feeling and knowing that they are equally important and valued as caregivers.
Perhaps if society viewed men as equal parents/partners then we would see a generational shift towards more men feeling empowered, secure, confident and comfortable in parenting and caring for their children. After all, don’t we want our young daughter’s and son’s growing up in a world of equality? I would love for our children to grow up in a world where the typical stereotyping of men as “useless” was abolished, and that our children as adults, lived in a society that focused on parental equality.
As a mom, a stepmom and a wife, parental equality is very important to me, because that is the kind of world I want our daughters to grow up in.
If we are not teaching our son’s and daughters how to cook, clean and care for themselves and their younger siblings then we only have ourselves to blame. It’s time to break the cycle of male/father bashing and change our views and attitude about parenting equally as partners and as parents.
Stereotyping and male bashing isn’t helping the cause. Remember this as you are raising your sons, remember this as you are raising your daughters.
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Perhaps we all would think differently if there were meme’s circulating about women being incompetent, or lazy in the workforce.
Perhaps if we saw posts on people’s Facebook pages or on T-shirts, illustrating how women are incapable or unwilling to pull their own weight, or too stupid to go to college or university, would this then not be so funny to you?
Memes like these aren’t helping the cause. If you don’t think meme’s and T-shirts like these are hurtful or disrespectful to fathers. just ask Thomas Fidler the founder of The Fathers Rights Movement and millions of other Fathers fighting for equality.
I wondered at first if I should be asking people to boycott Old Navy. But then I thought to myself surely no one is that selfish or ignorant to buy and wear a T-shirt like this? Are they?
Remember when PETA and Animal Rights activists ran around throwing paint on people wearing exotic furs? As a Father’s Rights activist and Children’s rights activist, can I throw paint on someone wearing this t-shirt? Probably not.I know the jokes are meant to be funny and harmless, but they cause more harm then we are all aware. It’s no different than when society accepted the 1950’s stereotype of women as the “slave to the caveman.” We were inundated with cartoons making fun of women. It was the norm to stereotype women in newspapers as the homemaker. We were viewed as only being capable of cooking and cleaning and changing diaper’s, while the father comes home from a hard day of work, sits in his recliner with a smoke and paper in his hands. Women were here to be their husband’s servants.
Thankfully we have come a long way in the workforce, in the home, and in society for equality because women and men have fought together to abolish the stereotype of women.
Society needs to embrace those same efforts in supporting men as equal parents, and sharing equal parental responsibilities. Parental equality should be the norm in regards to shared parenting between divorced parents as well.
Our children’s future depends on it. Stereotyping and male bashing isn’t helping the cause. Remember this as you are raising your sons, remember this as you are raising your daughters.
Parental equality starts with all of us.
We honor and celebrate motherhood all over the world.
We should embrace and celebrate fatherhood with the same respect and appreciation.
Fathers Matter. Happy Father’s Day
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Photo: GettyImages