Turning our attention to substance and selecting a new President for the right reasons is nothing less than an act of patriotism.
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Many are considering casting a negative vote against one of the candidates rather than a positive vote for the best-qualified person.
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Each of us has what I call a “Chooser,” the part of us that analyzes things and makes decisions. Between the daily onslaught of political rhetoric, posturing by the candidates, and current culture of pitting ourselves against our fellow Americans, the greatest challenge of this election might be getting the electorate to render a clear, well-thought-out decision. With many Americans still deliberating, fine-tuning our Choosers may be the best thing we can do for our democracy and ourselves.
As a shrink, I help patients understand what factors matter to their Chooser, for example, within the context of dating and marriage. In past elections, our Choosers have been greatly influenced by party loyalty, physical appearance, and a charismatic personality. Opinions of the press and endorsements have also played a big role. However, decisions made based on the substance of what each candidate stands for and has actually accomplished is more likely to result in electing a leader who can build a stronger America.
This year people seem less focused on issues and more focused on contentious anger and bitterness. It reminds me of when I learned about “negative identity” in my doctoral training. A person with a negative identity will tell you, “I’m not like my Mother” when asked who he is. Having spent a lifetime trying to not act like his mother, he will struggle when communicating who he is, what he feels, or what his values are. This may explain why many are considering casting a negative vote against one of the candidates rather than a positive vote for the best-qualified person.
In the midst of the avalanche of attributions like “Hillary’s a liar” or “Donald’s a narcissist,” I wonder if millions of Americans negatively identify with Secretary Clinton or Mr. Trump and whether this is behind all the name calling and vitriol. Like the individual who needs to determine his positive identity before he can move forward in life, none of this will help discern who is a better leader to move us forward as a nation.
Asking our polarized populace to step back from deeply ingrained, negative opinions and consider other perspectives may be unreasonable…
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Like all of us, Hillary and Donald are far from perfect, so if you want to focus on the negative it’s easily found. Naturally, we may be at odds with some of the things they say and do, or like some of their attributes and dislike others. Relationships are a mixed bag. Self-righteously building a case by compiling evidence that someone’s a “bad person,” “liar” or “dick wad” is a formula for disaster in any relationship, though.
Asking our polarized populace to step back from deeply ingrained, negative opinions and consider other perspectives may be unreasonable. But doing so is precisely what makes us strong as a democracy.
If you think that fine tuning your Chooser and re calibrating your objectivity might make you a better, smarter, more objective and principled voter, here are some questions to ask yourself about the candidates:
- What attributes do I value most in a leader?
- Who do I feel more aligned with regarding the things that are most important?
- Who approaches conflict more effectively and could make the world/our nation a safer, fairer place?
- Who has the knowledge and experience to put our economy back on track?
- Am I making things like personality, physical appearance, gender or brashness more important than they are when it comes down to effectively leading our country?
- Am I allowing my need for peer group or family approval and/or social status to influence my decision?
- Would I allow my strong party identification to override my better judgment?
- Am I so emotionally-charged with anger, fear and distrust that I’m unfairly projecting it onto (and demonizing) one of the candidates?
- Am I allowing my emotions, including “false pride,” to over-ride a choice that would probably be better for our country?
- Am I “negatively identifying” with one a candidates or disallowing myself from seeing them in a more positive light?If so, who?
Let us aspire to be less reactive, more reasonable, less angry, more conciliatory neighbors and citizens.
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Let’s fine tune our Choosers, free our minds of convoluted political narratives, pay closer attention to issues of substance, prioritize integrity over polarity and make a considered choice. A thoughtful analysis, for example, might favor Secretary Clinton as the superior choice on the basis of proven leadership in government. We might conclude that Mr. Trump is the better selection based on his business acumen and tenacity. Basing our decisions on either political party’s self-righteous arrogance, voracious hunger for winning or thirst for being right, will only result in “We the People” losing the election.
Let us aspire to be less reactive, more reasonable, less angry, more conciliatory neighbors and citizens. The next President of the United States should be the person who is most closely aligned with our highest and best judgment—and best qualified to lead America into an era of peace, prosperity, humility and unity. Turning our attention to substance and selecting a new President for the right reasons is nothing less than an act of patriotism.
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