‘Women, not girls, rule my world’.- Prince
I have the unfortunate luck of finding too many girls in my life and not enough women. It’s not an age thing – some women are younger than girls. The difference is in the way the two types act, think and live their lives.
Women and girls see the world differently. They understand the world differently. And they interact with it differently. Girls are a dime a dozen, but women… women are a scarcity.
This isn’t to say they are non-existent; they’re just difficult to come by. To be fair, they aren’t completely to blame — women and girls have to deal with the same dynamic with men and boys.
As men (not boys), we have to make sure we don’t get stuck dating a girl, it’ll probably be the worst decision of our lives. While it can be difficult to tell the two apart, there are 10 obvious giveaways:
1. Girls like to dress in revealing clothes because they think they look sexy – women know they look sexy no matter what they wear.
Women understand that being provocative isn’t the only way to be sexy. A woman doesn’t have to have her everything hanging out in order to feel sexually appealing. Women are so confident in their own skin that they do not care what they are wearing – they know that they are sexy because they are sexy.
2. Girls expect their men to know how they feel and what they’re thinking – women use their words.
Ladies… men cannot read minds. We wish that we could, it would make things a whole lot easier, but we can’t. Girls believe that their men should understand them so well that they simply know what they are thinking, how they are feeling and what they are “hinting” at.
Unfortunately, most men are not well-versed in picking up such signals. This is the point at which women get frustrated and bitchy while women accept their counterpart’s shortcomings and speak their minds instead.
3. Girls expect you to pay the tab – women are financially independent.
Girls like to be babied and taken care of, maybe they were spoiled growing up. Whatever the reason, girls don’t like whipping out their wallets. A woman, on the other hand, although confident enough to allow her man to pay for her sometimes, also makes a point to cover the bill herself from time to time – for both of them.
A woman likes to remind her man that she only keeps him around because he respects her and treats her well, and that she doesn’t need his cash.
4. Girls go out and get wasted – women can hold their liquor and know their limits.
You know that woman who’s hounding the table at the clubs, waiting to pounce on the next bottle? Of course, you don’t. A woman doesn’t do that. Only girls chug down free booze in order to get hammered – it allows them to make poor decisions.
This isn’t to say that women don’t drink their fair share. They do. But they know their limits and never drink to the point of losing control. Women always stay in control.
5. Girls can’t wait to update their Facebook status to “In a relationship” – women forget they have a Facebook.
Women are just too busy with real life to bother updating their Facebook statuses. They will probably do it eventually when they happen to be on there and remember to do so, but they won’t go running onto the site the second they believe an updated status won’t freak out their new man.
6. Girls watch junk TV – women read.
Some TV is great TV – the rest is pretty much garbage. Women do have their TV shows – some being guilty pleasures – but they also like to spend their time with their nose in books and magazines with substance.
They don’t enjoy filling their lives with meaningless pop-culture garbage that gets regurgitated over the decade. Women like to keep sharp. Girls like to keep occupied.
7. Girls talk about trivial matters – women know how to hold a stimulating conversation.
This is probably one of the biggest differentiating factors. Most girls are awful at holding conversations. They aren’t up-to-date on global affairs. They don’t have any intellectual hobbies or interests. And their opinions aren’t really their own, but are the opinions of others they heard and took as their own. Girls are boring. Women are fascinating.
8. Girls eat salads – women eat whatever the hell they want.
This isn’t to say that women don’t eat salads – some do. But they don’t eat salads in front of men just to go home afterwards and chow down on a pint of ice cream.
Women eat healthily because they respect their bodies. Girls eat healthily to let everyone else know that they are eating healthily. A real woman will sit down and have a burger and fries with you, with no fuss. She knows she can and because she wants to, she will.
9. Girls stick to what they know – women are always searching to widen their horizons.
Women are experienced in life and therefore understand the importance of experiencing life. They do their best to see the world, meet people, explore possibilities. They are passionate and driven. Women take life by the horns. Girls aren’t really sure what their purpose is – they’re hoping to find a man to pick them up and show them the way.
10. Girls need guardians – women don’t need anybody but themselves.
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, sexier than a female who can take care of herself. All females are capable of it, but few actually take care of business. Girls like to coast along in life – always looking for handouts.
Women take what they want and don’t need anyone to help get it. They are strong, confident, independent and strong. Women are the future. Girls are the past.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily / Photo Elite Daily
Also read Stephen Michell’s response to this article: 11 Signs You’re a Boy Trying to Put Women and Girls Into Boxes
About the author: A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and the two entrepreneurial endeavors he is currently pursuing: a mining company in Turkey and a video content platform called lilHub. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.
This column reminded me SO MUCH of Michael Kimmel’s “Guyland – the perilous journey from boy to man” (or something close to that anyway..)
So…I’m immature because I eat salads? As someone who used to be obese and is healthy now after yes o hard work I don’t think caring about your health and body makes you less of a woman. Same goes for larger women who are happyvin their skin. Just me people be and stop with the labeling OK?
Sure. And sometimes a Fedora is just a hat. Same thing.
Mary.. I think you missed his point.. it’s not “eats salad” that differentiates “girl” from “woman”.. The difference is WHY she’s eating salad only when on a date.. a woman can eat salad whenever she wants.. or anything else she wants, whenever.. and her choice is defined by her answer to “what am I hungry for right now”… otoh, a “girl” eats salad if she’s worried about / trying to influence how her date and others around will perceive and judge her. She “wants” a big plate of shrimp Alfredo, but she denies herself that and says “house salad, vinaigrette”… Read more »
I LOVE this article!
You made my day!
I’m just 21. And I have all the woman characteristics :/
Something wrong with me 😮
If I take this article as I believe the author intended it as a discussion of maturity level, it’s OK and gets a lot of things right in general. That’s the other general problem with articles that try to set things in stone. We have to read them with an implied disclaimer that it doesn’t apply to every situation. For example financial independence is usually a sign of maturity, but any person can run into “rough patches” in their lives like having to take a lower paying job because your employer is down sizing. There are other things to consider.… Read more »
Some of the most ridiculous comments I’ve ever read here. This is about maturity, and finding a responsible adult as your partner. I’d now add an 11th point: Girls object to having their behavior evaluated and demand universal acceptance, whereas a woman demands a man who can discern the qualities of a responsible adult and desire a relationship with her.
Personally I find the word ‘woman’ used to describe someone my age (20) seems a bit forced. I like girls!
Let me rephrase that, because ‘Jonathan G’ has a point:
Number One Way to Tell You are Dating a Judgmental Person:
He thinks that his arbitrary definitions of woman v. girl should be applied to every female by all males.
“Girls talk about trivial matters…” This sounds so derogatory towards “girls”….The class speaker at my son’s 8th grade promotion ceremony spoke so eloquently about the right to an education that all kids in this country have…something that many of them take for granted….she mentioned how Malala in Pakistan was shot because she spoke out about this…she also mentioned how 200 girls in Nigeria were abducted from their school so that they could become sex slaves/servants of armed militants…. A 13 year old girl spoke so well and maturely for herself and for her fellow classmates….why is it a bad thing… Read more »
Oh how adorably cute, a boy is learning to mansplain thanks to the wonders of the internet!
Please come back in about 10 or 15 years and tell us how amusingly embarrassed you are for proving the empty barrel adage. THAT would be a fun read… and it will underscore the difference between a boy and a man.
Bill, regardless of your stance towards the article or the author, blatant sarcasm and condescension are not compelling arguments- it just seems like you’re veering into the territory of personal attacks there. Nothing shuts down a dialogue quicker than a cry of ‘mansplainer! mansplainer!’ IMHO
In addition to what Mostly_123 said, it’s also quite remarkably tone-deaf that you’re objecting to an article that explains the difference between girls and women by trying to shame the author as a boy and not a man.
“Mansplain” is a sexist and childish term used to silence and mock others by those without an actual argument. It has no place among mature, well-adjusted adults.
If this article is true, my wife is definitely a women.
Reading this I agree with most of it, BUT I believe there has to be a balance from both Girl/Woman descriptions; having scored 10/10 in this article doesn´t make you better than somebody that didn´t. I know men who like to take care of their woman, and they alow them not because they can´t take care of themselves. Women have the right to have fun too, having to mucho to drink or watch a tv show won´t make them less worth it. Even my boyfriend doesn´t agree with everything o it´s not about being feminist.
I once dated a woman. She ruined girls for me, and I can and will never date a girl again.
Listen, I’d probably be a “women” according to your article… But holy shit, you are the last kind of person I’d want to date. Who says a girl can’t let loose and enjoy herself at a club? Who says she’s dressing herself provocatively? Just because you get turned on, doesn’t mean it’s her fault that you did. The junk TV versus reading comparison is stupid as hell, too. Who gives a shit what your hobby is? It’s meant to relax you, whether that’s by turning off your mind with a some dumb TV show, or by reading a book, which… Read more »
Well said…….anonymous 😀
Nehhh went down hill for me after 2…..sometimes it’s nice to loose control and let loose, clubbing is not always about being seen by the opposite sex, sometimes it’s just about having a reallly time and having a good story to tell your gran kids one day……And the FB one, for me that’s a man who is uncomfortable about being in a relationship openly. And maybe I love salads…..now we dictating what ppl should eat ??
this is very false and idiotic
I, as a woman, was not offended by this article at all. I think that manly of the comments may focus too much on the definition of “girl” and “woman” in a traditional sense, regarding age. I think the author of this article intends it to be more used to demonstrate a difference in maturity levels. I know plenty of older females who would be considered “women” based on the traditional age standard, however I know that based on this article they would be considered “girls.” The definition that the author is using is denoting maturity levels, and I appreciated… Read more »
Excellent Lauren
Spammer!!….A human will review it shortly! Wowzers! I assure you I am a real live person….one that doesn’t appreciate being put in a ‘box’ by no think literary geniuses.
I like this.You can read the comments and find out who’s who. Now they should do no for men. That way boys can learn to be men from it.
I have helped raise my daughter to be confident, well-read, financially independent and responsible and yes, she is a girl. On the other hand, there are many women out there who do not fit that description. I am guessing that women that are not so confident, well-read, financially independent or responsible are probably suffering from being slighted educationally by influential people in their lives who are perpetuating 1950s household chauvinism.
Let’s pretend the article wasn’t published here. Let’s pretend a man and a woman are enjoying dinner and a date at a sidewalk table on a warm summer evening and she casually asks, “What qualities do you most admire in a woman? What MOST attracts you?” Pretend his confident answer included elements of all 10 items in the article. Then he takes a sip of beer and asks her, “What about you?” My experience is that a woman will either run for the hills OR rock his world in the bedroom a short time later. One is turned off. One… Read more »
Agreed! I like opinions, and everyone is allowed their own. I agreed with many points, but disagreed with a couple, like the salad thing. however, not everyone feels the same way about everything… and thats what is so great about our world.
Eh, I don’t think that’s really the tone of this article, though. It isn’t titled “10 things I like in a woman,” it’s trying to make a broad statement telling men how to assess if their woman is mature or has quality. I agree with the general sentiment– that women who have have some life experience/growth tend to be comfortable in their own skin/have opinions, etc. That said, dividing people up by whether they like TV or reading (or- gasp!-both depending on their mood!) or always want to have serious conversations, or asserting that sticking to what you know is… Read more »
Yes. This.
Finally an actual constructive comment.Thanks.
Wow, this is so profound. I am at peace knowing that I have a woman in my life. I have just scored her 10/10.
I believe this article is extremely false!!!!
And I believe this article is written in Cyrillic script!!!!
I, as a woman, was not offended by this article at all. I think that manly of the comments may focus too much on the definition of “girl” and “woman” in a traditional sense, regarding age. I think the author of this article intends it to be more used to demonstrate a difference in maturity levels. I know plenty of older females who would be considered “women” based on the traditional age standard, however I know that based on this article they would be considered “girls.” The definition that the author is using is denoting maturity levels, and I appreciated… Read more »
I don’t think this is a particularly good article, but I identified with more points in the piece than I have the objections to it. Why are people automatically resisting the idea of being confident, well-read, financially independent and being responsible?
It’s not that anybody thinks the “women” things are bad, or that the “girl” things are good; it’s that we balk at the idea of having a man define who we “should” be…. again. All media and society has many conflicting and often ridiculous expectations of what women “should” be, and this is just another example of that. To be human is to have flaws, and an actual real women most likely has traits of both “woman” and “girl” in her, and probably traits that haven’t been described here at all because they don’t fit into the societal conception of… Read more »
Oh, you mean the same thing women do and have been doing to men for decades: i.e. trying to define what makes a “real man,” differentiating between “men versus boys,” and trying to shame grown men by referring to them as boys, etc. When the tables are turned, you can’t handle it. If you (not you personally) can’t take it back, you need to stop giving it. I’m a woman and I’ve seen in real life and read plenty of articles that do the same thing, if not worse, that this article did- but to men. Society has gotten to… Read more »
You couldn’t have said it any better. I am a women and I am sick of the close minded individuals who only see things from a feminist point of view. Men have just as much expectations and media influences as we do about how they should act and look. Its completely unfair.
Thank you for bringing some truth, Amy!
Wasn’t the whole “end of men” fiasco all about how today’s young men aren’t living up to the standards that women would like in a marriageable man? And I just saw another post on Facebook today about not settling for a relationship with a “boy” because you’ve “already got a pussy and don’t need another one.” This sort of article, but aimed at men, is so common you don’t notice it.
Exactly! And that Facebook quote is also homophobic suggesting that first of all, women can define what it means to be a man and that any man who fails at this is not a real man or is a “pussy.” Imagine the outrage if men wrote articles defining what it means to be a “real woman” and constantly lecturing women to “woman up” and shaming them for being homosexual if they don’t conform to any of this. You are right that familiarity breeds complacency. We are so used to seeing articles bashing men that we don’t even notice it. that’s… Read more »
My favorite thread I have ever read. Especially since it’s women talking about women being hypocritical.
I agree, and would like to add, beauty is in the eye of the beholder…what defines a woman or man in one person’s opinion will differ completely w/ another! Stereotyping has no place in gender, race religion, etc. Ideals vary in every category! If a girl is raised to believe a real man takes care of her financially, emotionally, or whatever, then she needs to find a man that has the same ideas. If a woman is raised to believe being independent and self-reliant is the way to be, then she better find a man who is confident enough to… Read more »
As a man, I can say that this article is dead on. To all the feminists who complained about this article, you really need to learn how to respect opinions that differ from your own. The majority of your comments seem downright vitriolic. Feminism should be about promoting equality, not about silencing and shaming people you don’t agree with.
1) As a man, I am glad it’s dead on for you.
2) Do you have any resources for us to learn your definition of respect & how and when to apply it? As feminists, we need men like you to teach and lead us.
3) Thanks for tone-policing.
4) Feminism is about promoting equality. This article does anything but.
5) google “mansplanation.”
You must be a girl.
That’s not an insult, is it?
“Mansplanation” : when a man comments on, or explains something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner
As a WOMAN, he is right… learn to respect an individual’s opinion. I see more condescending, overconfident, and inaccurate banter in your comment than his. He was not directly attacking you, so why attack him?
This article sucks, but who cares what this guy thinks? Everyone has a right to their own opinion, woman OR man.