Single moms of all ages share the sexy things they absolutely love. The answers might surprise you.
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By Lisa Bien
What is sexy to you may not be sexy to me. I discovered the truth behind that sentence when I prepared to write this article. I did some research and asked single moms of all ages to share the sexy things that they absolutely love. And the answers might surprise you.
I’m sure you’re expecting to read such tips as: “Grab her when she least expects it,” or “Kiss her so passionately that you’ll make her want to jump in bed with you and have sex all day long,” No! That’s not what my research discovered.
The ten tips below come from the answers the single moms gave me. They are not about being physical or making love. Nope. It appears that what most single moms want, or should I say find sexy, is having a real friendship with a man who can be a friend and partner. That is quite the sexy turn on.
So, how do you do that?
Well, here are the top 10 things single moms find sexy in a man:
1. Show Patience:
Yes, patience tops the list. To date a single mom, you have to be patient with her schedule, with her kids and most importantly – with her.
2. Be Understanding:
Knowing kids take priority is such a turn on for women! No one enjoys feeling conflicted about spending time with their children. A big turn on is saying: I understand, your kids come first. Believe it, practice and live it, and you will be the sexiest guy ever.
3. Be Kind:
This one is my favorite tip for everyone, in all relationships, sexy or not, if you are a man and you are genuinely kind and compassionate, you can sweep me off my feet…right into the bedroom.
4. Take Initiative:
This is not hard at all! When a man takes initiative and does something like plan an unexpected dinner or a weekend getaway, or he just gives her a night off and offers to watch her kids: Wow! Now that is sexy!
5. Be Truly Caring:
To care for someone is to provide safe keeping, to provide nurturing. And for many women, it means security, it means if you break down and you need someone to come change a tire on the side of the road, they will come. It means if someone has not heard from you for more than a few hours than they normally would, they’ll begin to worry. When you care about a woman and her children, that is sexy.
6. Offer Emotional Support:
It is probably one of the most refreshing things a man can do; being emotionally supportive. In case you are wondering what that means: it means to ask about her job, her career; what is important to her and talk about it. If you really want to go all in, tell her that you are there for her and really want to be there for her. Ask if there’s anything you can do for her.
7. Lend a Hand:
This is really one of my personal favorites: helping around the house. Lend a hand with something. If leaves need to be cleaned up, offer your help. When you lend her a hand with a chore, you are showing her you want to help her and you want to make her life easier because you care.
8. Show Interest:
SHOW that you care. Everyone likes to know someone cares about them and this takes no time. It’s easy. Check in with a call or a text that shows that you care and are interested. Showing someone you care means much more than saying you care.
9. Don’t Fear Being Vulnerable:
When a man is able to express emotions and talk about them…whoa! This is better than any foreplay you can imagine. In fact, it is the best emotional foreplay ever. And you know what that leads to, right?
10. Be Adventurous:
Being willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things is a big turn on! No one likes the same old, same old, so men take note and be open to new adventures.
There you have it! Try doing a few things on this list. Who knows? You may even find that you and your partner are so turned on by this “emotional stuff” that the sex is better than before, and it will only keep getting better and better.
This article originally appeared on Divorced Moms
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Photo credit: Getty Images
In any relationship with a single parent the rule is “kids come first” you come second. You can accept this or find someone else. I, for one, have no issue with this rule in regards to my partner, or in regards to myself . This is, and always shall, be the descending order of priority. It is a fact – accept it or move on.
As soon as I know she’s a single mom, I find someone else. You do you though!
I’m trying to understand the article. Why do I care what divorced moms find sexy in a guy? I want a single, childless, never married woman. Unless it’s only about sex, then yeah, I guess this is OK insider info to know. But otherwise, these “tips” are kind of pointless because why would you let the relationship get to that level?
Aaron, why are you trying to understand this article if the topic doesn’t even interest you? You do realize there are men who do date divorced moms right? This article is for them. It’s not for you. Why even take the time to read and comment in it?
Im a good women with 3 kids and i consider it verry hurtfull sum would be such an a hole just because someone has kids most men dont know what they want and when they do get it they dont want to do what it takes to keep a good women or the cheet with the bad girls who do all the things they say they dont want i dont drink smoke do any drugs of any kind i cook clean dont go to bars am a freak in the bedroom i love fishing camping bowling skating race cars and… Read more »
“Might I suggest that those that believe all this, rather then a laundry list of what they want, start making lists of what they offer that man in exchange for the mountain of responsibility that you expect him to heft upon his shoulders when he can simply go out and find a single woman without kids, raise his own family, not have to deal with an ex, or all the complications involved in being second to her and her kids.” Divorced mothers are completely allowed to talk about the things they want and need in a man without someone attempting… Read more »
Missed the part where I said that I married one?
The reply was not to besmirch, but to advise. Read the comment above yours. The reality is that the deck is stacked against them. They are competing with women that are single and childless. if I were a single dad out there looking for a mate, sure I’d have expectations, but I’d lead with what I have to offer first.
Take it as you will.
DJ – No, I did not miss the part where you said you married one. I just wasn’t really responding to you on a personal level. I was simply responding to your general comments about the topic. And I stand by my comments.
Whether you got kids or not, you should be leading with what you offer. That’s why so many people do poorly with online dating. They talk about what they want from a person and rarely talk about what they have to offer.
That’s all great. This is something that all men (and women) should be. …but what do you offer in return. What is it that you have that will motivate him to take on your life, raise someone elses kids beyond your expectations? Might I suggest that those that believe all this, rather then a laundry list of what they want, start making lists of what they offer that man in exchange for the mountain of responsibility that you expect him to heft upon his shoulders when he can simply go out and find a single woman without kids, raise his… Read more »
Outstanding reply, as always.
I’m often astonished how many women will tease a man with some “nookie” to get him to perform for her (do this and you are sexy, do this and it is better than foreplay, do this and the sex will be better than ever!), yet vehemently deny there’s such a thing as a “transaction” for sex!
Thank you, DJ
Thanks, Kal. Appreciate it.