1. Take him to your favorite restaurant
Not McDonald’s. Not Burger King. Take him to a real, grown-up sit-down place and share a meal. Trust me: he already knows that this is where you take important people.
2. Let him stay up past his bedtime
And do something together. Stare at the stars. Make fudge. Build a model. Being up with Mom or Dad alone in the dark is a powerful memory.
3. Play Risk with him
Or Monopoly. You know – the kind of game you never have time to play. Just get out the dice and roll.
4. Hug & kiss him
All boys need to be hugged and kissed. Even (or maybe especially) the ones who tell you they don’t.
5. Make his favorite meal
For no apparent reason. He’ll know and appreciate it.
6. Play cars—or dinos or whatever—with him
It’s so hard to find the time to get down on the floor, and so hard to put away your grown-up-sized worries and concerns, but nothing means as much to a boy as playing with him.
7. Don’t complain the next time he comes home muddy
This comes straight from the mouth of my 8 year-old. What more can I say?
8. Watch his favorite movie with him
Pop some popcorn and settle in. His taste in movies probably isn’t exactly the same as yours, but who knows? You might realize you like foreign films.
9. Introduce him to your hobby
Golf, knitting, rock climbing—whatever you do, he knows it’s important to you. Show him the ropes and invite him into your world.
10. Ask him where he’d like to go. Take him.
But feel free to set boundaries. You might be surprised at where he wants to go.
11. Listen to him
Really listen to him the next time he starts talking about his passion. Ask questions. Challenge him. Show genuine interest.
12. Read him your favorite book.
You know, the one you loved when you were a kid. Tell him why you loved it and read out loud, with enthusiasm. He just may see you in a whole new light.
13. Let him help you
Do laundry. Fix the car. You’ll get to spend time together and he’ll learn new skills.
14. Talk calmly, even when he frustrates you
Again—straight from the mouth of my eight-year-old. Keeping a level head shows your son that you respect and value him as a person.
Originally appeared at Blogging ‘Bout Boys
Also read: This is What Real Fatherhood Looks Like
Lead image courtesy of Flickr/popofatticus
Jennifer, Joseph, and Andi…wonderful suggestions and advice!! Question: what do I do if I love my three boys with all my heart, but I am in the middle of a custody battle where I have 50/50 custody now, one week on and one week off, and my ex is trying to get full custody b/c I got remarried? I have a 14, 12, and 6 yr old. The 6 yr old is fine, loves my wife’s 3 girls (yes, brady bunch!), and the girls are 8, 6, and 3. But my 14 and 12 yr old are having a hard… Read more »
This is not legal advice. However, from one divorced parent to another, I can tell you to check your divorce orders. What are the current orders re custody and placement? If it’s 50/50, and in the order, your ex can’t change it without some legal action. If legal action has been filed — if she’s filed for full custody — you may need to retain a lawyer. Know, though, that in most places, it’s very difficult for one parent to get full custody unless there are extenuating issues, such as abuse or substance use. Most courts now recognize that kids… Read more »
Love this!
How about #15? Tell him in words “I love you” (with meaning, on a daily basis).
this…. i really hope i find this simple ways, just tell your son ” whatever you do, whatever other people think of you, you know that your’e my son and i love you very much ”
I think saying straight ” I love you ” to a boy is the best way to teach him how to love, and to tell him that you really love him.
Lead him to Christ! Pray with him, pray for him, teach him Bible stories and Christian songs, give him Christian heroes to look up to, take him to church, memorize scripture, point out the wonder of God’s creation, teach him humility and thankfulness, teach him to choose Godly friends and a Godly wife and how to be a good husband and father, and teach him how to grow into a man who models his life after Jesus. The best way to show love for your son is to give him to the One who loves him more than you do.… Read more »
As a single mom with a father who had opted to not have a relationship with our kids both the article and Josephs reply was awesome. I do all the “mom” stuff and plan to expand my horizons with Josephs feedback so I can relate to my son in a more comprehensive manner. While we don’t have to ascribe to gender stereotypes it help s to break us out of our own comfort zones towards personal growth. I appreciate it all and so will my son! THX!
Great piece Jennifer and great response Joseph. As a father of two boys I heartily agree.
Also, teach him to check his spelling before submitting comments.
Your article is how women show love. Here’s how a man does it: 1) Get him to work in the yard with you. Teach him about the birds and the bees (literally). Explore wildlife. Teach him their eating and mating and living (and dying) habits. Teach him to identify animals, and what role they play in the real world. You can also use this opportunity to teach him about aesthetics, how to create beautiful things, and well as problem solving, such as removing a stump. 2) Be althetic with him. Rough house. Play physical games. It can be as simple… Read more »
Joseph,
I really like your post, it is full of great ideas. But do we have to specify how men and women show love? I think a woman can do all of the things you suggested, and a man can do all of the things that Jennifer suggested. Right? Right.
🙂
I agree, elee. I don’t see the lists as gender-specific. In fact, I’ve done most, if not all, of the things on Joseph’s list with my boys too.
And, for the record, I think both lists include some perfectly great ways to show love to daughters too.
i agree only with the 8th point…rest is just an assurance of a clingy father of his masculinity!!!
You said: But do we have to specify how men and women show love? I think a woman can do all of the things you suggested, and a man can do all of the things that Jennifer suggested. Right? Right.” I think we do. Women CAN do all the things I’ve mentioned, and men CAN do all that Joanna mentioned. But look at the lists. Joanna’s list was about exterior feedback. My list is (mostly) about teaching him to create his own interior feedback. There are some other points that I’ll address in other comments. I did love her comment… Read more »
Forgive me, I referred to Joanna when I should have referred to Jennifer. I guess that “email me” post stuck in my head. Again, apologies for miscrediting Jennifer’s post to Joanna.
I’m sorry, but I disagree. There is nothing a man can’t do in the articular and Josephs list is not a list of ways to show your child you love him, but a list of things he thinks you should teach a child. Not only that, but things that are stereotypically “manly”. How dose teaching your child to be violent show them you love them? Just because your a man dose not mean you have to be a cliche of violence, emotional suppresion and power tools.
I fully agree with John Smith. While Joseph’s list is surely a great list of things to do with your sons, it’s more a “how to raise your son to be an adult” list instead of a “how to show your son you love him” list. There’s nothing wrong with the list, IMO, it’s just a list for a different subject.
John Smith said: “I’m sorry, but I disagree. There is nothing a man can’t do in the articular and Josephs list is not a list of ways to show your child you love him, but a list of things he thinks you should teach a child. Not only that, but things that are stereotypically “manly”. How dose teaching your child to be violent show them you love them? Just because your a man dose not mean you have to be a cliche of violence, emotional suppresion and power tools.” I did not claim that either sex could not do either… Read more »
Hey Joseph, I sent you an email, but in case you didn’t get it, will you email me at [email protected] ?
Thanks! Loving your list, these two compliment each other very nicely!
Your list is better, bro. Good stuff.