20 Things I Love About Men

Neely Steinberg loves men. Below, she shares a list of qualities, actions, and moments that remind her why.

Recently I wrote an article for the Good Men Project about hook-up culture, in which Hugo Schwyzer and I disagreed about the effects of casual sex. It gained the attention of Susan Walsh, author of the blog Hooking Up Smart. She wrote a post about our contrasting opinions, and offered her thoughts as well. The comments section within her post grew quickly—as of today there are more than 1,000 responses. Reading through the feedback, I was struck by the disillusionment and disappointment among men with the content on the Good Men Project, a site whose very purpose is to bring issues of modern manhood to the forefront of national discussion.

One commenter on Walsh’s site wrote: “…the good men project inevitably implies that men are not basically good by default, but work has to be put in to making them that way, or in finding the exceptions who are.” Others agreed with the general sentiment that many of this site’s articles unfairly start with the basic premise that something is inherently wrong with men and men thus need to be socially engineered to become, well, good.

It was with this unfortunate perception in mind that I set out to create a list of things that I love about men. Pure and simple. No talk of feminism or slut shaming or gender depictions in the media or rape culture here—just an unadulterated tribute to men, a panegyric, a compilation of reasons to be thankful for the male species, in ways both big and small, superficial and profound, personal and professional. They are in no particular order, the creation of my stream of consciousness. I could have gone on for hours, but it’s my hope that you, Good Men Project readers, will add to this list, so that anyone who visits this site will see how much we appreciate and adore men and what they bring to our lives and the world. We can return to the heavier debates tomorrow. For now, let’s have a Kumbaya moment. Leave your reasons in the comments section, and let’s see what we can come up with together!

Here are mine:

  1. I love when a man puts his hand on the small of a woman’s lower back, as if to say, I’m here for you if you need me.
  2. I love when a man wipes away a woman’s tears or pushes a strand of her hair away from her face, tucking it lovingly behind her ear.
  3. I love how millions of men go off to work every day and then come home after long work hours to share in the housework and child-rearing.
  4. I love how men contribute hundreds of millions of dollars every year to charities in the U.S. and across the globe.
  5. I love when a man makes us feel like women.
  6. I love when a man waits patiently inside an elevator to let all the ladies out first.
  7. I love how a man who would go to the ends of the earth for a woman he loves.
  8. I love how a man who will rub his partner’s feet at the end of the day even though he’s had a hard day at work too.
  9. I love the men who so bravely and willingly risk their lives in service to our country and to protect us all.
  10. I love being Little Spoon.
  11. I love the way a man looks into his child’s eyes and loses himself.
  12. I love that men’s various discoveries throughout the ages (scientific, mathematical, medical, etc.) have made our lives easier.
  13. I love the way a man runs into the ocean like maniac.
  14. I love the shape of a man’s big, strong back when he leans over to pick up something heavy.
  15. I love when a man knows what to say and what not to say to make a woman happy.
  16. I love when a man tells a woman how lucky he is to have found her.
  17. I love the way a man takes a woman’s delicate hand, brings it to his lips, and kisses it gently, showing how much he adores her.
  18. I love when a man chows down on his food, as if only a 9.0 Richter Scale earthquake could shake him from his glorious feast.
  19. I love how a man in love thinks of his partner’s sexual pleasure before his own.
  20. I love a man who will do the jobs that most of us would never consider. Sewer inspector, anyone?

What do you have to add?

About Neely Steinberg

Neely Steinberg is a freelance writer living in Boston. Her work has been published in the Boston Globe Magazine, Boston Magazine, the Boston Phoenix, and New York Magazine, to name a few. Formerly, she hosted two internet radio shows and an internet TV show on dating, sex, love, and relationships. Currently, Neely is the relationship/dating columnist for Blast Magazine. Send your relationship/dating questions to her at neely@blastmagazine.com and she will answer them in her column on Blast called “MP4 Love,” in which she posts her video responses. Follow her on Twitter and check out her website: www.neelysteinberg.com.

Comments

  1. Michael Rowe says:

    Reading some of these comments, the only conclusion that can be arrived at is that heterosexuals are lunatics, and it’s a minor miracle that you’re not all single.

  2. I can write 40 things I love about women 🙂

  3. for guys dont like this list, read this http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/i-love-men/

    its better, and its shows how she love about men even when they didnt do anything to women, they just be themselves, they just a man!!!

    read that, its so lovely….

    doesnt mean i dont like this list by neely, but i really hope to find our qualities women like even hen we didnt do anything to women.

  4. Imdefender says:

    “I understand the appeal. There was a time in my life when I thought the world of people who didn’t clutter my life with their own needs or concerns for their own well-being; who did all the nasty, painful, dangerous and sacrificing tasks in life, while I got to remain protected, carefree and clueless. I got to live on a pedestal at the expense of others, and I didn’t have to consider the cost.

    Yes, I remember it clearly now. It was called childhood. It was a time that was, in retrospect, one of unending self-indulgence – provided by responsible people that knew such sacrifices came with raising someone who, by the nature of life, was relatively helpless. Fortunately, they also took the responsibility of walking me through pain of growing out of that and showing me the more realistic world that did not revolve around me.”- Paul Elam

  5. Good point Patrick!I’ll have to try some of these for my subject lines as well ….Cheers,

  6. Quadruple A says:

    “12. I love that men’s various discoveries throughout the ages (scientific, mathematical, medical, etc.) have made our lives easier.” – I am not sure what to think about this. I mean it is generally agreed upon by feminists that women weren’t/aren’t granted the same opportunities as men so they weren’t able to make as many discoveries as men. So I wonder what Neely meant by this?

  7. I love when women don’t expect me to be subservient to them because of their gender out of some outdated non-existent chivalric responsibility. I love when a women doesn’t expect me to fit her unrealistic archetype of what “masculinity” is, especially because the very idea of it is similar to expecting the asian people in your life to be good at math… It’s a condescending stereotype that degrades those who don’t fit it by implying that they have something wrong with them. I love when women can take care of there own damn selves. Feminism brought a deserved power back to women, and with that power comes the responsibility of taking care of certain things for yourself.

  8. I can’t help but notice two things.

    First, that the intent of this article was thoroughly undermined by the commentary. That said, I love the commentary for the most part. It was inspiring in various ways – as many ways as its directions varied I suppose. To respond to the article’s concluding request, however, I will add some things that I love about men. Though I am doing my best to make my contribution irrespective of gender or predilection, I’ll preempt: I am a hetero male.

    21. I love that men are loyal to their friends, but also have the confidence and mutual respect to tell them when they’re fucking up.
    22. I love that men that die to win, and live to celebrate afterwards, no matter the game or the outcome.
    23. ____________(come on, keep them coming)

    Second,
    I found the first half of the article very engaging and thoughtful, but the actual list left me feeling slightly awkward in a way I couldn’t initially put an adjective to. After reading much commentary and deliberating on my own I realized that my discomfort was with the way the list, more often than not, used “when a man” rather than “that a man.” It was an ideal, rather than a universal.

    The first half promised universals, I felt. In fact, it had to, in order to refute the named critics. However, “when a man” made it seem somewhat begging of a prince charming, which was the original contention of the people the article was meant to refute.

    But then I realized that this was a difference in gender’s linguistic tendencies, not in conviction or ideology. Here is something I love about women: even the feminists equivocate. They are all politicians in that respect. There is a tendency, for them, to say “when” rather than “that,” but this is a very ancient cognitive development, and I see no reason to try and “correct” that which has worked perfectly well for a very long time (nor would any of us attempt to re-engineer the lung or the foot other than to juryrig meager technology in place of a working part), or for that matter to pretend that “correct” is even relevant terminology.

    My initial awkward reaction was purely semantic. I appreciate the intent here on all fronts. Opinions and dissent make everyone better. Basically what I mean to say is, kudos to both Steinberg and all other contributors.

    • Though I just realized I missed many responses by not clicking “older comments,” I think much still applies. Sorry ’bout that though…

  9. Hey Steinberg,

    Andybob says, “I think Dr Elam is correct in surmising that Ms Steinberg is a plausable individual who is beginning to question feminist hypocricy, but who has yet to fully grasp the extent of the radfem horror so apparent to AVFM commenters.”

    The work that you do on our part is appreciated.

    Perseus.

  10. I wish I could go to a magical place where women could be women and men men without all this messed up American feminist ideology gumming up society.

    One more generation and marriage and courtship (and society’s future) will be truly dead and buried.

    • Hi, mjay.
      In my experience, that wonderful, “magical place” can be the intimate space shared by a couple who is in love.
      Reading these comments, I am unhappily surprised to see how deeply politics penetrates into some presumably private, intimate relationships, AS IF the range of possible feelings, thoughts, interactions and experiences is — and must be — always restricted within a political straightjacket.
      Such painfully self-conscious politics can be quite boringly dull, to the point of cliche.
      I believe Naomi Wolf — who has, herself, earned the feminist-awarded label, “feminist,” has written about this same topic, the contrast, in fact, between the often strident rhetoric of feminism and the private lives of feminists.
      I regard myself as very much a pro-woman feminist, but some who imagine themselves to be more “feminist” by far regard many of my views as verbotten to contemporary feminism, which, in my impression, is often anti-man.
      As a heterosexual woman, I am definitely NOT anti-man!

      • “As a heterosexual woman, I am definitely NOT anti-man!”

        Noted. So, what does it mean to be anti-woman or anti-man? Is it being homosexual? If a person is heterosexual, does that mean that they are not anti-woman or anti-man?

        I’ve noticed that feminists often accuse men how strongly disagree with feminism of being misogynists, despite the fact that most of those men are also heterosexual, which means that they cannot be anti-woman/misogynists – correct?

        • Hi, Eric.
          I see your point, and I appreciate your pointing out my misstatement.
          I definitely do not imagine that sexual orientation determines even a little bit whether one is a misogynist or a misanthrope or whatever the corresponding word would be.
          In fact, I’ve known gay men who were horribly misogynistic, and I’ve known straight men who were misogynistic, too. I also have a very dear gay friend who empathizes deeply with women, and I have the pleasure of being deeply in love with a straight man who is completely adoring towards me and the other women in his life, too.
          Thank you for pointing out my misstatement, Eric.
          I just don’t understand the impulse, which, unfortunately, is not uncommon, to become sexually involved with — or have any kind of volitional personal relationship with — anyone whom you essentially hate. For that reason, I am both surprised at and confused by some of the man-bashing comments, attitudes and behaviors that seem to be fashionable lately for presumably straight women.
          Liz

          • Liz,

            BTW, I too, am pro-women/girls – as a father of two daughters. However, I’m not a feminist (nor an MRA). Somehow, the feminist movement has never figured out how to strike that reasonable balance of being pro-women/girls without being anti-male.

            I know many people who are pro-women/girls but are not feminists because they want to strike a reasonable balance of being pro-whomever happens to need a hang/leg up at the time, while being able to switch to whomever else needs a hang/leg up the next time, or giving both a hang/leg up (e.g. whether it women, girls, boys, men, minorities, whomever).

            The feminist movement doesn’t seem to be able to / want to see the world is such broad terms, or recognize that this isn’t 1921 or 1950 anymore, and that women do have the vote. It is instead busy claiming that virtually all married men are rapists, even if they are (in the opinion of their wives and children) great husbands and fathers.

            BTW, the argument presented here that essentially all married men are rapists was made by a male feminist. So, despite the seeming illogic, male and female heterosexual (at least they claim to be) feminists maintain overt anti-male views. I have seen a number of women stop calling themselves feminists, while maintaining the same views, for that reason.

            • I hear you, Eric!
              I often feel that good, worthy term “feminist” has been hijacked and held for some sort of blood ransom!
              I consider myself very much a feminist because I am pro-woman, pro-girls.
              However, as a heterosexual woman and the mother of a wonderful son, too, I am also decidedly pro-man.
              What’s more, I am staunchly pro life — same as another notable feminist, Susan B. Anthony!

      • “Reading these comments, I am unhappily surprised to see how deeply politics penetrates into some presumably private, intimate relationships …

        The Personal is Political !!! Go Team Vagina – oo-Ra !
        Surprised? WTF?

        • Hi, Perseus.
          I’m guessing from your remark you are a woman.
          I am interested, too, in knowing whether you are straight, bi, or lesbian.
          If you would not mind sharing your sexual orientation, I would be grateful as I try to understand your point of view.
          For example, I’m curious about why a person of any gender or sexual orientation would wish to have an intimate relationship with a person with whom they also have an antagonistic relationship.
          Thx in advance for your insights on this question.
          Sincerely,
          Liz

          • Hello Liz,

            Straight, according to my sex drive, so biology I guess is the answer to your curiosity as to ‘why’. Is that surprising? If so, how?

            Thanks

            • Perseus,
              Whomever you are and whatever your sexual preferences may be, your remarks appear to intentionally obfuscate.
              If you are not interested in straightforward communication in response to straightforward questions, fine. You can, of course, continue talking to yourself or directing your messages to whomever may “get” your coded meanings, if any.

          • Btw, bad guess, I’m not a woman.

          • I’m sorry for butting in, but I must.

            There is a difference between liking someone and wanting to have sex with them. There is a difference between wanting to have sex with someone and wanting to get to know them as a person. This is especially true for men. Oftentimes a someone will see whats on the outside and have sex with it and not really care what’s on the inside. Once again, this is particularly true when it comes to men.

            I’m a man basher, and I’m not currently not in a relationship. Id be open to one with an exceptional man or a man. I’m just not that horny most of the time so the urge to go out and find one just isn’t that great.

            • Alice,

              If you insist on maintaining that point of view it is very unlikely that you will find anything more than the men that you have already run into and experienced. You can only find something exceptional if you are expecting that something exceptional can be there in the first place. An exceptional man has the self respect to realize that he will not put up with a man-basher.

              From my experience, you’re right about the fact that a lot of men will talk big and give the impression that all they want is sex, when inside, most men I know really do want to find love and companionship.

              • Hi kckrupp,
                I see where are you coming from, but it doesn’t change the fact that men are the way they are.

                I think men still want activity partners or whatever, but they still will go out and look for the next thing to chase. I also think that men define love very differently from the a lot of women.

    • mjay,
      Let’s not forget that men are partially to blame. Men don’t value courtship and all that stuff unless it’s to get laid. But then again this is how feminists like things- just read Betty Friedan.

  11. Very nice article Ms. Steinberg. I don’t get some of the negative comments though. I found your article as well as your reasons for plublishing it to be as I would say “Quite Refreshing”. I agree that sometimes a break is needed from all the Male Privilage/Female Privilage/Rape Culture/MRA/Feminisim/etc..etc… and I do thank you for sharing your appreciation of men.

    • I really appreciate #20. A month ago I went to the wake of a co-worker killed on the job (I work in heavy construction and he was killed by a hit and run while fixing a truck on the side of the road). It was the seventh one I’ve gone to (3 of them were in their last year before retirement). Other than police or firefighters, I wonder how many can claim to have that many people die on their job?

  12. @ Always Sunny: “This should make feminists happy since the destruction of marriage and family has been a stated goal of feminism for the last 40 years.”

    Guess again. Feminism is concerned with the problem of domination, and unfortunately, that extends out far beyond marriage and into the overall gender structure. Plenty of feminists marry and have kids (and report significantly more satisfying romantic and sexual lives), and plenty of anti-feminists don’t marry and have kids. It’s not a split issue.

    • If feminist are concerned that women are dominated in America then they need to find a new hobby. That simply isn’t today’s reality and the few examples of that behavior you could come up with could easily be countered by examples of women dominating men. Now if the issue is men in positions of power I think the fear of that is as irrational as men fearing women in positions of power. We should not presume either gender is inherently sexist and out to get us.

      Feminist did attack marriage as a oppressive patriarchal institution so it is fair to blame them for contributing to the decline of a good institution designed to foster stable families.

    • Paul, I actually agree with Always Sunny. Feminists have planned to destroy the family because they view it as an impediment to women’s success. If you go back a couple decades you’ll even find books where they extol the virtues of living in the ghetto. They like “da hood” because black women work and black men are less likely to be sufficiently employed. Yes, black women outearn white women, but black women are also less likely to get married. Black women as a whole have about a 50% abortion rate, yippee!!! What were going into is the Soviet/ghetto system.
      Ok yes a man will cheat when he’s married, but marriage is to provide stability to the KIDS.

  13. Always Sunny says:

    The fact remains that the things Neely loves about a man almost exclusively involve his utility to her.

    Love isn’t just what you get but what you give. If I made a list it wouldn’t have just the things about her character or things she does for me but also the things that I give to her. Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a willingness to obligate yourself to another human being.

    We see that men are willing to obligate themselves in very powerful and longterm ways. Yet there isn’t a single obligation that a woman has that she can’t disregard on a whim.

    It is for that reason that women do not love men and as Neely has shown in the above list her “love” is conditional on a man’s service to her.

    That’s not love Neely and it’s the reason why more and more men refuse to marry and or are going their own way.

    This should make feminists happy since the destruction of marriage and family has been a stated goal of feminism for the last 40 years.

    • Her list isn’t about what makes a loving relationship, it’s not a bird’s eye view of how men & women interact. It’s some things she appreciates about men. In many ways, it’s probably how women would love to be appreciated by men, but as we communicate differently & interpret words differently, it’s not well received by men.

      You’ll notice, she is not using the word love in the sense of falling in love with a man. She is expressing appreciation to a group of people, living & dead, known & unknown. Every obligation men have can and are disregarded on a whim, so your question of what obligations women have that cannot be disregarded is ridiculous. My husband disregarded all obligations to me on a whim, completely, unequivocally, & with no warning.

      What I give to those I love (romantically and platonically) is not from any societal or legal obligation. It is an abundance of freely given gifts, thoughtfulness, compliments, support, encouragement, pampering, and cooperation.

      The man in my life has told me what he loves most about me: That he knows I have his back. No matter what choices he makes or what misfortune befalls him, I’ll stand by him & be there for him. He has no doubt that he can rely on me. Another thing he loves about me: that I accept him for who he is.

      I have never heard those words & thought he was being selfish. He tells me ways that I am special & irreplacable to him. That I provide for him what he can’t find (or hasn’t found) easily in other women. The ways that he gives to me isn’t why he loves me, it’s how he shows his love to me.

    • Always Sunny,
      Oh please. Like I said before, most of what men like about women is superficial and physical, so what’s the point of getting one’s panties in a wad over this post?

  14. @ Lisa Hickey:

    I appreciate your taking time to respond to my comment.

    I agree that seeking a wider audience isn’t a bad thing. I think it’s quite a good thing! I also think that widening the audience while silencing the minority voice mitigates the value of content your readers, who have gained so much from GMP in the past. And while your marketing direction may or may not see the minority voice as compromising the appeal of mainstream gender discussion, it can’t ethically deny the urgency of its counterarguments.

    Many of the biggest gains I’ve gotten from the GMP were not the result of my finding them, but them finding me. If you segregate the feminist critique of gender into a designated space, and acquire many new readers (who are almost guaranteed to have the same preconceived notions of feminism that I once had), they are less likely to seek out the information if it’s displaced. The discourse needs to be an ongoing and integrated one, not a reserved one that is considered as separate, Given the content of the GMP, I feel it is never ‘off-topic’.

    As a graduate student in counseling psychology, I can also speak to the enormous benefit I’ve gained in critical thinking from the inclusion of multiple diversity issues (eg: sexism, racism, ageism) in each course, and not just in one designated semester. It is woven into the fabric of the entire program because it is necessary in order to produce consciousness-raising. Otherwise, we would be fish who didn’t know we were swimming in water.

    I 100% support the retention of gender-sensitive content and comments across all articles at the GMP.

  15. All of you reacting badly to this piece need therapy! Wow! I wonder if people would react the same if the author had used the word “appreciate” instead of love.

    Just because you love someone’s selflessness, that doesn’t make you selfish. Just because you love when people put you first doesn’t mean you don’t often put them first.Just because you love certain qualities in men doesn’t meant that you don’t also see & love those qualities in other women.

    I know selfish people VERY well, they don’t LOVE selfless qualities in others, they take them for granted, expect them, or they are amazed by them knowing that they are incapable of it. Narcissists have entitlement, not appreciation.

    Here are some things I appreciate about people, but I shall phrase it “What I love about men” since that is the topic here:

    * I love when a man can tell me his opinion or desires, to give me a chance to make him happy without trying to read his mind.

    * I love when a man is clear about his intentions so that I can chose for myself whether to allow him into my life.

    * I love a man’s drive, ambition, and accountability in making his life the best he can for himself. His belief in himself is incredibly sexy.

    * I love when a man says “You don’t need to do that, darling, you take care of me all the time. Just relax for a change.”

    * I love a man who appreciates all that women have added to his life without being resentful over what he’s done for women.

    * I love a man who accepts love and appreciation graciously without insinuating that he deserves more.

    * I love when men talk out an issue even though they’d rather not, because it benefits the relationship AND both people in it.

    * I love a man’s passion that has nothing to do with his family, his children or his partner. It’s unique to him & it lights him up from the inside.

  16. Neely I appreciate the motive behind this article, in your words to create “just an unadulterated tribute to men”. I believe lots of the male commentors have probably responded badly because it is very much a list of men doing something (in many cases for women) rather than being something in and of themselves. Maybe if these are the things that come from “the creation of my stream of consciousness” then you should have a look at how you view men.

    In the spirit of the article I’ll leave some of additional reasons that I feel might go on the list about my fellow men.
    1. Their sense of humour – just the range and depth, even in the face of all the shit we have to deal with. I think it is very male phrase to say “well you’ve got to laugh or else you’ll cry” (yes I think most of us do still have hang ups about crying when we are hurt, though i do cry when emotional …. some movies really do get me!)
    2. Their sense of duty and honour – I think all men live by a set of personal rules and codes that we develop throughout our lives – bro’s code anyone?
    3. Their tenacity and fortitude – we get enough shit thrown at us, yet we will always carry on.
    4. Their kindness and gentleness – we are the protectors and providers. My dad, my uncle, the fireman, the policeman, the teacher etc etc. I don’t think that men get to feel that way around other men that often, yet women and kids do, that warm feeling of being “looked out for”. I think it is something that women should feel very lucky to experience rather than see it as something negative and chauvanistic quite often.

    I could go on and on about men and I’m not homosexual so I haven’t and won’t experience a lot of their features. Half the reason why I’m fighting against misandry is because all that we are as men is being degraded into what we can do for others, and as objects of hatred and blame. We are a beautiful gender as well (though to me, not on the outside quite as much)

    • Hi Matt,

      That was a lovely, well-thought-out comment. I appreciate it; thank you. My intention, of course, was to post a list of reasons I appreciate men, in big and small ways, which I thought was pretty innocent and lighthearted. But I think it is a reasonable question to ask me to view how I view men based on the things I listed. I can say with all honesty, though, that I don’t view men as being in service to women at all. I think women and men should be in service to each other. I think my boyfriend could write an equally long list of things I do for him, and I would never view it as a chauvinistic piece of writing, in which women are in service to men. I would have viewed it as: “Wow, isn’t that so sweet that he appreciates all the things I do for him.” I also have to wonder: Do men not enjoy making women happy? Does it not feed something inside of them? Take giving sexual pleasure before their own with a woman they love, for example. I don’t characterize it as being “in service” to women, but as I have found, it is more driven by a desire to do things out of love and appreciation for the woman they are with. I could say the same for women: that we enjoy giving a man we are in love with sexual pleasure before our own, because it makes a man happy and feel good, and to see that makes us happy. And yes, I recognize that most of the things on my list could be reversed (“I love how women … “), but I wanted to keep it strictly about men. Again, I respect that different people viewed this list differently and have enjoyed reading the various perspectives. They are fodder for my next article. 🙂

      I’d also like to point out that I’ve been critical of feminism and feminists on many occasions (here on GMP and in other writings). Not sure that’s worth anything, but, anyway…

      Neely

      • Hi Neely,

        Thankyou for your response; I think men do enjoy giving and even though there is an argument “we give so that we recieve (sex etc)” I personally think that is bullocks. I think a lot of men give in a relationship because it is a way we show love rather than emoting our feelings.

        Do you feel that in many ways your list could be instead condensed down to 3 points of male being? Their empathy, kindness and generosity, maybe if the list had been constructed in that fashion there wouldn’t have been some of the negative responses there have been? I know it is a semantics argument, maybe it should be more on the honus of the reader to see you appreciating these aspects of male being by your appreciation of the consequental actions, I just know it is a sore point for many men out there including me, the “being and doing argument”.

        I know why there is quite this distinct dividing line between feminists and mrm, I agree with Paul Elam on some of his remarks that just talking politely with reason and logic to some of the nutters out there will get you nowhere because they are bat shit crazy male haters or people who point blank refuse to see any different.

        Thats probably why you picked up flak because in an “us or them” attitude means slight deviation from “us” leads you in the middle, and no man’s land gets gunfire from both sides. Understandably a lot of the mrm have this attitude, though I probably hold more to Warren Farrell style WHEN confronted with reasonable people. Unfortunately those are the times we live in, and until there are some markable changes in policy and attitudes you probably will pick up flak for an article like this no matter your past views of feminism.

        Cheers, Matt

  17. The Bad Man says:

    Wow, that’s quite a list, I don’t think I’m man enough. I suppose everyone is different and maybe I have too many expectations of women too. People really do appreciate being appreciated. Is anyone going to take a shot at writing an article about women?
    I love when a women makes an effort to take the load off my back for all the responsibility and effort.
    I love a woman in work boots doing hard labor.
    I love when a woman mows my lawn and picks weeds while I’m taking care of the kids and making dinner.
    I love when a woman brings me flowers just because she’s thinking of me.
    I love when a woman wakes up early on the weekend, cleans my pool and makes breakfast.
    I love when a woman takes equal responsibility for her own orgasms.

  18. Justa Mann says:

    I love it when a woman gets out of the car to help change a tire.

    I love it when a woman reaches for her purse to pay her way.

    I love it when a woman hears “no” and accepts it with grace.

    I love it when a woman takes responsibility for her own feelings, bad or good.

    I love it when a woman embraces my need for things in my life that do not involve her.

    I love it when a woman solves problems in a relationship with reason and fairness.

    I love it when a woman takes responsibility for her mistakes and corrects them.

    I love it when a woman stops trying to get validation for an idea that has no merit.

    I love it when a woman realizes that equality comes with some burdens.

    I love it when a woman recognizes that a “home” is a shared domain.

    I love it when a woman is willing to get dirty and bruised and scraped up to get a job done.

    I love it when a woman doesn’t know how to say, “You’re the man.”

    I love it when a woman refuses to use tears to get her way.

    I love it when a woman never says, “Speaking as a woman.”

    I love it when a woman doesn’t confuse being shrill and cruel with being strong.

    I love it when a woman has no expectation of me at all based on my being a man.

    I love it when a woman has no expectations at all based on her being a woman.

    I love it when a woman finds no one to blame for her problems but herself.

    I love it when a woman recognizes that love is in what you give, not in what you take.

    I love it when a woman understands that all these things are things that I love in men, too.

  19. Anonymously Annoyed says:

    Maybe you’re an avid reader of A Voice For Men…then again maybe you’re not, but I couldn’t have put it better than Mr. Paul Elam when he said the following in response to your article:

    “I understand the appeal. There was a time in my life when I thought the world of people who didn’t clutter my life with their own needs or concerns for their own well-being; who did all the nasty, painful, dangerous and sacrificing tasks in life, while I got to remain protected, carefree and clueless. I got to live on a pedestal at the expense of others, and I didn’t have to consider the cost.

    Yes, I remember it clearly now. It was called childhood. It was a time that was, in retrospect, one of unending self-indulgence – provided by responsible people that knew such sacrifices came with raising someone who, by the nature of life, was relatively helpless. Fortunately, they also took the responsibility of walking me through pain of growing out of that and showing me the more realistic world that did not revolve around me.”

    It’s time to grow up and realize it’s not about what your man can do for you, but what you can do for each other. And no, giving him sex every once in a while, when YOU feel like it and only if he’s been good doesn’t count.

  20. wet_suit_one says:

    What I find utterly shocking about this list is the lack of the mention of manhood. The physical kind, found betwitxt the legs of men. Surely to God women in general and this lady in particular love men for that don’t they/ doesn’t she?

    Or maybe that’s what she meant by “I love when a man makes us feel like women.”

    Dang, confused again…

    Sigh… It sure is tough being this dumb…

  21. I feel that these comments are relevant to the posted aritcle and they don’t belong segregated in an alternative forum at the expense of an additional viewpoint that threatens the author’s omniscience about ‘masculinity’. To do so in the absence of any real trolling activity, to me, seems like a political move to mainstream the content of the GMP and marginalize the minority position, as has been done ubiquitously over the last 50 years in gender discussion. What once gave the GMP its unique voice and authentic value appears to be in the process of being dumped in favor of appealing to a discussion that is quiter, an audience that is wider, and wallets that are fatter. You are doing a great disservice to a what I think could be your contributions to a revolutionary point in history. So is greed.

    • Paul, I agree with you. I believe all comments should be welcomed. It’s my understanding that the author of an article has a say in what he or she wants for his or her published pieces, but I’m not totally sure how it will work. If it is up to me, I do not plan not to censor anyone’s feedback.

      Thanks for your comment!
      Neely

    • Lisa Hickey says:

      Paul — thanks for your POV. I do think we can have contributions to a revolutionary point in history. And while I also agree we are seeking an audience that is wider, I can’t possibly see how that could be a bad thing. We’re looking to be not just the “enlightened few” that talk back and forth to each other, but a community that embraces newcomers and learns from their perspectives.

      Same too, with the idea of creating a parallel thread or forum area — it’s to create more conversation not less, more comments not fewer, more provocative discussions in general but simply a place where people know what is acceptable and what is not. But we will keep your concerns in sight as we move forward. Again, thanks for the input.

  22. Thanks for this. GMP is starting to find a new and more assertive voice.

  23. This piece needs some serious proofreading at the sentence level. “I love how a man who will…” Really?

    That aside, I understand and share Steinberg’s love of men, but this piece leaves out so many valuable males. What about homosexual men? Or disabled men? Parts of this post seem to laud straight, able-bodied men exclusively. Lifting things and rubbing your girlfriend’s feet? That’s all well and good, but not exactly new territory. I’ll just add to the list: I admire men who thrive in the face of adversity.

    • @Rword: “but this piece leaves out so many valuable males”

      Oh please! Nobody can ever please everybody.
      The piece was from a heterosexual woman and dedicated to the men she loves.
      Should we write anything mentioning every possible variation, inclination and hypothesis? Should we write always mentioning every possible disability?
      C’mon! How absurd is that?!?
      We don’t expect an LGBT writer to always consider all the different inclinations.
      And rightly so. So why an hetero should?

      @Rword: “Parts of this post seem to laud straight, able-bodied men exclusively”
      And so what? Can’t the author have her own taste? Don’t everybody have their own?
      And rightly so.

      This kind of PC whining drives me mad…
      Nothing valueable would have ever been written, if we had to consider all the possible complaints. Homer, Cicero, Shakespeare, Wilde… all would have been muted by PC critics.

      Whiners don’t add anything valuable to the world; they just enhance the entropy.

      • Definitely not whining, just an observation. I’m just saying that there is more to what it means to be a man than this mere list. The writer herself even acknowledged this and wanted commenters to add items to the existing list. I think it’s important to acknowledge the experiences of men who don’t fit the stereotypical model of masculinity, and this piece doesn’t really do that. I, too, am a hetero woman, so I understand where Neely is coming from, to a point. It’s just not exactly new territory, as other commenters have pointed out. Not all criticism is tinged with whining or malice… mine certainly wasn’t. This article just presents a very specific and, in my opinion, limiting picture of male-ness.

        Just as an example, I have a boyfriend, whose back I do very much enjoy, but I also have a great father, who taught me to stand up for what I believe in and look at everything with a critical eye. I could mention one of my best friends, a man who is gay, biracial, and a drag queen. I could mention the kind autistic man who I chat with at work every day of my life. So, even when drawing from personal experience, there is plenty of fertile territory from which a writer can pull to consider new ideas and perspectives.

        • But RWord, you did exactly what I was hoping people would do with this piece. My experience with men, for the most part, has been what you see above and that’s what is reflected in my list – that’s what I pulled from. I posted several things that I love about men. I then invited others to write what they love about men, realizing that my view is not all-encompassing. You say you “could mention one of your best friends, a man who is gay, biracial, and a drag queen.” And so you did, which is what I wanted readers to do. I wish you had mentioned what you love about him, because, after all, he is a man! 🙂

          Oh, and yes, luckily I’ve had wonderful editors review many of my published pieces. What would a writer do without them!?

          Neely

          • It would take a very strong back to lift that pedestal you live on. Pray tell, what should men love about a woman? I already know but I’m interested to find out what you think. What is their utility?

      • I agree Crescendo.
        Neely was posting what she loved about men, others were free and welcome to post what they loved about men

    • Oh wow, Rword, thank you. Point taken. I am cringing at my error. I was rattling them off as I typed them and did not do the necessary proofreading. Ugh.

      Sometimes we writers miss these things. I suppose I was caught between “I love a man who will … ” and “I love how a man will … ” and then forgot to delete the extra word. I appreciate being called out for that, though; it will make me be more careful next time. Thanks for your comment and feedback. 🙂

      Best wishes,
      Neely

      • No problemo. I currently do proofreading and copy-editing for a print publication, so I just have an eye for that stuff. Always harder when it’s your own work, of course, as your brain sort of reads what it thinks you’ve said, not what’s actually on the page (or screen.)

        • I loved your comment, but if you’re a proof reader you’d know that problema is a female noun.

          • Well, I generally read English texts, so… not necessarily. Thanks for the compliment, though.

          • Problema is actually male. In Spanish, it’s “el problema,” not “la problema.” Most Spanish nouns ending in “-ma” take the masculine.

            The more you know! 🙂

  24. Tim Stobierski says:

    Yeah, this list is pretty sub-par. You love men for acting in the way society tells everyone that men SHOULD act. Have some creativity. As a man, I’m not impressed with your observations.

    Oh, and FYI: I love being little spoon.

    @tendrecroppes

  25. I love when a person puts hir hand on the small of hir partner’s lower back, as if to say, I’m here for you if you need me.
    I love when a person wipes away hir partner’s tears or pushes a strand of hir hair away from hir face, tucking it lovingly behind hir ear.
    I love how millions of people go off to work every day and then come home after long work hours to share in the housework and child-rearing.
    I love how people contribute hundreds of millions of dollars every year to charities in the U.S. and across the globe.
    I love when a person makes us feel like we’re human.
    I love when a person waits patiently inside an elevator to let all the others out first.
    I love how a person who would go to the ends of the earth for another ze loves.
    I love how a person who will rub hir partner’s feet at the end of the day even though ze’s had a hard day at work too.
    I love the people who so bravely and willingly risk their lives in service to our country and to protect us all.
    I love spooning.
    I love the way a person looks into hir child’s eyes and loses hirself.
    I love that people’s various discoveries throughout the ages (scientific, mathematical, medical, etc.) have made our lives easier.
    I love the way a person runs into the ocean like maniac.
    I love the shape of a person’s big, strong back when ze leans over to pick up something heavy.
    I love when a person knows what to say and what not to say to make someone happy.
    I love when a person tells a partner how lucky ze is to have found hir.
    I love the way a person takes another’s hand, brings it to hir lips, and kisses it gently, showing how much ze adores hir.
    I love when a person chows down on hir food, as if only a 9.0 Richter Scale earthquake could shake hir from hir glorious feast.
    I love how a person in love thinks of hir partner’s sexual pleasure before hir own.
    I love a person who will do the jobs that most of us would never consider. Sewer inspector, anyone?

    • What is a “hir” and a “ze?”

      Regardless, this is just silly. It’s true that some of these can and should be gender-neutral but some of them simply aren’t, realistically. For example, I have worked extensively with my County’s sewer line maintenance department and waste management departments and there were no women even applying to physically deal with waste. They are certainly free to but few if any were even interested.

      And, I am seriously not into women with “big strong backs.” But, if that’s your thing, not knock yourself out.

      • spidaman3 says:

        It would be hard to find a woman with a big strong back too. Even women who know how to work out acknowledge that women aren’t very muscular or physically strong.

  26. Yet another list of commands disguised as appreciation. It’s just more subtle but basically the same thing. What used to be “be a real man and do xyz” has now become “I love it when you do xyz”. I don’t buy it. It’s just another carrot dangling in front of our noses.
    If you really appreciate the specific work that men do and the sacrifices that they make, then you must be prepared to admit that you are either not willing and/or unable to do those things.

    • We can only appreciate in others that which we are unwilling or unable to do ourselves? That’s preposterous!

  27. Despite your list, the majority of women will still choose the bad boy who displays few if any of these traits.

  28. Paul –
    You note “the femininity associated with women, and the cultural repudiation of it in favor of masculine as the model of ideal” and you describe, too, how “feminism and the women’s liberation movement” have granted “women the same access and privilege (theoretically speaking) to the same resources as men. The ideals and values of our culture, like most other cultures, are founded upon masculine ideologies . . . Since the second-wave of feminism, women have joined the market of emulating masculine ideals (eg: power, success, autonomy). Fair game and good progress, but the baby got thrown out with the bath water when simultaneously we continued to allow our culture to see women as ‘lesser than’. ”

    I agree with those observations, but disagree with your conclusion, that today’s flavor of “feminism sees culture’s repudiation of anything stereotypically associated with women as the problem.”

    Too often, it seems to me, the feminist movement of our day disregards and disrespects “anything stereotypically associated with women” in favor of women emulating the roles traditionally held by men.

  29. @Weber: You made a number of points I thought were worth noting and elaborating upon:

    “Many girls want guys to open up but don’t realize that means the guy will also have weaknesses being displayed. They like openness but hate weakness.”

    This is because culture socializes us to equate openness (or ‘bleeding hearts’) with weakness. The fact that weakness is at the ‘weakness’ end of the continuum reflects the same observation we have seen in gender polarization: with the masculine as ideal and the feminine as regression. This speaks volumes to our societies views of the femininity associated with women, and the cultural repudiation of it in favor of masculine as the model of ideal.

    “But now it seems like women are masculinizing. Thhey’re starting to try to intimidate each other and guys. But being an unintimdating woman seems to be politically-incorrect somehow.”

    What feminism and the women’s liberation movement did was grant women the same access and privilege (theoretically speaking) to the same resources as men. The ideals and values of our culture, like most other cultures, are founded upon masculine ideologies and the purposes they served for their time. Since the second-wave of feminism, women have joined the market of emulating masculine ideals (eg: power, success, autonomy). Fair game and good progress, but the baby got thrown out with the bath water when simultaneously we continued to allow our culture to see women as ‘lesser than’. Now that there is a legitimate threat being posed to the masculine bread winner, I think that has confused a lot of people from the safety and comfort of familiar gender roles. As a result, we’re seeing a backlash response to feminism through the increased polarization of gender roles (eg: sexual objectification of women). A big laymen misperception of feminism is that feminists consider men the problem. But it is quite the contrary. Rather, feminism sees culture’s repudiation of anything stereotypically associated with women as the problem.

  30. Fellas,
    If you find a woman or a few who are man-bashing man haters, for goodness sake, move on quickly!
    Distancing yourself from man haters is no complicated solution that requires a Ph.D. in “gender studies” or anything of the kind!
    You can be sure, plenty of women love men for far more reasons than can even be put into words in any number of “lists.”
    Sincerely,
    Suzy

    • Always Sunny says:

      A woman doesn’t have to spew manhate to be a misandrist. Plenty of women make dimeaning, offensive, and abusive comments and accusations about men on this website and claim to have no idea of what they are doing. The above article is one of those posts. In particular is #9: “I love the men who so bravely and willingly risk their lives in service to our country and to protect us all”

      What she is basically making military service as a condition of receiving love. It’s like dangling a carrot before the horse.

      Do you really think that any female who is educated in the U.S. hasn’t absorbed 18 to 22 years of feminist hatred taught in schools?

      Even if she’s a real saint there is still one big problem. Men are obligated to women but women have no obligations to men. How can that result in an equal partnership or even a healty long term relationship.

  31. @Jean Valjean: I get where you’re coming from, but I am cautious about the risks associated with polarizing the argument. Non-feminist identified individuals reacts to such arguments with contempt and usually become more polarized in their position as a result. Certainly, there are a number of valid points made in your argument, but let’s be cautious when inferring on someone’s character and intention based upon differences in underlying beliefs. Neely and I have very different viewpoints on gender, but we’re also acquainted personally and I do know that she is a good person who would never intentionally wrong a male. Perhaps she would fair best in agreement with someone who values traditional gender roles as she does, and although she may find some allies here at GMP, the mainstream authority opinion on gender is compromised here by the percentage of us who advocate for a shift in the figure ground from ‘gender role’ to ‘human being’.

    • Agreed, it’s not fair that we try to defend ourselves against something that’s not even an attack. Let’s put PC aside and just enjoy the article for what it is.

    • Perhaps she would fair best with somebody who is into “traditional female roles”. Tit for Tat.

  32. Jean Valjean says:

    1, 2, 3,4, 6, 7, 8,9,15, 16, 17, 19, 20 can all be boiled down to, “I love how a man defers to my female privilege and kisses my ass.

    You know what I would love? I would love it if you would tell me one obligation that you have to this man that you can’t get out of. Just one thing that you have to do for the rest of your life that is enforced by law or custom and you can’t escape on a whim?

    You claim to love men but I believe you love a man as a farmer loves a mule. We are beasts of burden put on this earth to make your life easier. And so long as we pull the weight, take the risks, make you “feel like a woman” you will “love” us and the moment we fail at any of it or you just get bored you will decide you don’t love us and off you’ll go to the lawyers and show us what you really think about us.

    I’ll be waiting for that response on your obligation to him.

    • @jeanvaljean,
      I’ve noticed this before on other sites about men. The moment a woman tries to finally say something positive about men, it’s twisted around into being something negative. This post is a whole lot better when men start talking about what they like about women-which boils down to liking breasts, ass, and legs. I just want to be like you want that regular or crispy? because it sounds more like they are ordering at KFC than talking about females. A lot of men seem to think women are put on this earth to cater to their sexual so called needs, so how about you stop complaining about this well-intentioned post and we call it even???
      (sorry about grammar)

      • DavidByron says:

        On a point of fact, sociologists have figured out what parts of women’s bodies men do tend to look at most and the top one isn’t breasts, ass or legs, it’s her eyes. I think after that it is a few other parts of her face – mouth, hair line. I dunno if that helps you or not. As far as I can see a person is not their eyes any more than their breasts. But it seems like looking at eyes is something women do too so I guess it’s harder to characterise that as “objectifying”.

      • Justa Mann says:

        Oh yes, of course, when a woman FINALLY says something she thinks is positive about men, we are all supposed to go ga-ga with appreciation.

        I’ll pass.

        Personally, I don’t have things that I love about men or women in that way, just qualities I admire in human beings. And I don’t trust anyone who puts an adjective in front of the word man or woman. Yes, that refers to the name of this website.

      • @alice

        The man asked a perfectly legit question, so how about answering it for a change.
        I would really like to hear the response on that one.

      • Always Sunny says:

        Alice, you have a pretty narrow view of what you believe men want from women. Perhaps you could qualify the attributes that women possess that men should be looking for. What special qualities do women offer men in a relationship? And no you can’t mention cooking, cleaning, sex, or child care because that would be sexist. What else ya got?

        While you are at it perhaps you could also answer Jean Valjean’s more salient question and name for us the obligations that women have towards men in our society.

        I’ve spent a few minutes thinking about this question and I cannot think of a single obligation that women have towards men. So it begs the question, “If women have no obligations towards men then why should men be expected to do anything for women?”

        • Perhaps the pertinent “obligations” occur between individuals, rather than between large, nameless groups, identified only by sex.

    • wellokaythen says:

      Jeanvaljean’s post uses more strident language than I would use, but I think there is a good point at the heart of it. Most of the list about what she appreciates about men has to do with being nice to women, or defines goodness in terms of deference to women. As a man I tend to admire independence, telling the truth even when it’s not popular, and using direct communication. Those are the admirable things that I would add. At least, I tend to associate those with masculinity.

      I lived in the shadow of #15 for decades and I wore myself down to nothing because of it. I’ll be damned if I find that admirable anymore. Where does telling the truth and being authentic fit in there?

      I would also point out that the list is made up of things that could just as easily be done by women if the listmaker was attracted to women. Are any of these things particularly male?

    • DavidByron says:

      Calling Lisa Hickey!
      This article is kind of bitter sweet for a lot of guys I think. On the one hand there’s this sincere and glowing appreciation of men by the author and some others in comments. On the other hand we feel as if some of the things we’re being appreciated for, are kind of things were trying not to do because they are this stereotypical masculine way of things. So it’s like a beautiful rose but for some, it also has its thorns.

      It’s a very positive article and I hate to see negative responses, and at the same time some of the negative responses are so important to hear too. Is it possible to somehow split this thread into two pieces so we can get the best of both worlds? I wouldn’t want to offend anyone or censor anything here, and I don’t know if it would work very well, but I just wondered if it might.

      One thing not discussed here is how this relates to women receiving compliments from men and how that can be a rose with a thorn too. Alice comments above that if it was men talking about what they love in women it would be “breasts, ass and legs”. She is able to identify that as “objectification”. That sort of complaint by women is something men often don’t understand because to a man being “objectified” would be terrific. Except here we have an example where some men at least are feeling “objectified” by this list. Not as a list of gorgeous body parts, but as a list of masculine protector role traits.

      • A rose with a thorn is a good way of putting it. Because yes, celebrating what we love in each other is a beautiful thing. And yet it can feel so much like a list of ways to fall short of the ideal. If I’m brushing the tears out of my boyfriend’s eyes for the third time this week, has he failed me at masculine protection? Or is he granting me an opportunity to be his hero, one which I should cherish? Maybe love is so deep, so rich, that every list will fall far short of the wonders of the human experience.

        • beautiful post , nerd

        • I concur with The Nerd.
          I thought these sorts of “lists,” the imagined qualities of an ideal male mate, were the sorts of things girls dawdled over in middle school and high school, but not much beyond that age.

      • Lisa Hickey says:

        DavidByron, what a great and insightful comment. This is exactly the type of thing that we hope having a “forum” will solve, that is, the moment you or someone else sees something like this happening, you yourself can open up the question there and we can all help direct people there. It will probably take another two weeks before we get that beta tested and fully functional.

        For now, I will post your comment as “comment of the day”, with a short explanation, and hope that people will use the rest of this thread for positive comments and use the “comment of the day” post for discussion and critiques. Thanks for thinking of it.

        Ok, here is the post: http://goodmenproject.com/comment-of-the-day/the-bittersweet-world-of-male-objectification/

      • You don’t see how this objectifies males as a female accoutrement, a servant or for his utility. Men are objectified on a daily basis. What is the appropriate reciprocal objectification? Utility? What utility? Mother (no guarantee), sex (no guarantee).

        So what if I want my woman to be a mother to my children? So what if I love it when a woman wants to please me sexually when I get home from a long day of work (even though hers was just as tough)? Why is my member less important than her feet?

  33. Authenticity is a good theme here. I think that many MRA’s see some individual feminists as not being Authentic. For example they say they want men to be able to cry and show emotion but in reality they still want their man to be “a rock” and not show emotion in a crisis.
    Conversely, some MRA’s will say it is important for a modern man to cry and show emotion but they still refrain from showing emotion or crying in front of their female partners. Authenticity is important in our lives. I also call it Integrity.

    • Yes, definitely! I feel more willing to be a guy and sensitive when it is actually acceptable.

      Many girls want guys to open up but don’t realize that means the guy will also have weaknesses being displayed. They like openness but hate weakness. Guys try to open to each other, but shut each other out when they aren’t intimidating enough.

      It’s kinda retarded how we’re all acting with each other. There should be more posts about the opposite gender like what’s above. I love doing the cute things, the cuddling, the pillow talk, etc. That doesn’t mean I’m not a hardass when I need to be. That means I don’t need to be a hardass all that much.

      But now it seems like women are masculinizing. Thhey’re starting to try to intimidate each other and guys. But being an unintimdating woman seems to be politically-incorrect somehow. So it screws over the millions of guys who don’t want to play some stupid chest-puffing game. because now the whole planet hates them. “you want non-power-hungry girls?” “some girl is doing better than you? you’re a deadbeat.” It’s a twisted way in which Feminism flipped upon itself by not taking men’s psychology into consideration. They expected better respect AND treatment of women. So if a girl is doing worse than the guy, it’s some sort of repression. If a girl is doing better, the guy is a deadbeat.

      • Hi, Weber.

        For me, your concluding paragraph, above, articulates my frustration and dissatisfaction with contemporary feminism. I feel that its overriding theme is giving women a socially acceptable license to mimic men and traditionally male views, habits and manners. Of course, any woman who prefers such values has every right to them!

        In my view, however, what is popularly called “feminism” today can do more and also better by focusing, instead, on recognizing and also valuing a range of experiences and ways of being and doing that are considerably beyond and different from the already-dominant, traditionally male paradigm, which seems to include some philosophy of “You must be down so I can be up.”

        At least, that was my sense when I read your remarks . . . ” being an unintimdating woman seems to be politically-incorrect somehow. So it screws over the millions of guys who don’t want to play some stupid chest-puffing game. because now the whole planet hates them. ‘you want non-power-hungry girls? ‘some girl is doing better than you? you’re a deadbeat.’ It’s a twisted way in which Feminism flipped upon itself by not taking men’s psychology into consideration. They expected better respect AND treatment of women. So if a girl is doing worse than the guy, it’s some sort of repression. If a girl is doing better, the guy is a deadbeat.'”

        Liz

    • Do we really need this mindless woman validating what men do? http://goo.gl/obiC

  34. I love when a man opens the car door.
    I love when a man sees spending time with his children as quality time not babysitting.

  35. I was a bit put off by the heteronormative bias in the piece, but then again as a Kinsey 6……

    I do have some equivalent experiences which are a little different as they are man on man. Some are sexual and others just why men can be so lovable – and some are just man to man.

    I love men who giggle in bed over who gets the damp patch.
    I love men who bring you coffee in bed, done just right – strong, black no need for sugar.
    I love men who love to scrub your back in the shower.
    I love men who quietly read books with loud laughter at the funny parts.
    I love men who move in their own skin and it says just how they feel.
    I love men who say “NO You’re Not!” when you say “I’m Fine”.
    I love men who give flowers for the shear hell of it.
    I love men who respect that your work sometimes interrupts their life.
    I love men who respect you as you say “You are too busy for me. Sigh!”.
    I love men who laugh freely and loudly.
    I love men who kiss you on the cheek and it means “I love you”.
    I love men who kiss you on the mouth and the message is clear. “I desire you”.
    I love men who leave the seat up.
    I love men who let me borrow their best dress shirt.
    I love men who look better in your bathrobe than you do.
    I love men who sit together in different silences.
    I love men who’s eyes light up when they see a dog and it comes over to say Hi!
    I love men who do brunch and news papers at their favourite restaurant.
    I love men who’s favourite restaurant is the one you introduced them to.
    I love men who see people in need of help and he’s the first to ask “what can I do?”.
    I love men who see a problem and ask “What are “WE” going to do about it?”.
    I love men who see a world that is bigger than them and feel no fear.
    I love men who feel fear and do it anyway.
    I love men who are afraid and do not fear being supported and cared for.
    I love men who aspire and want to be bigger, or better, or even both, than they already are.
    I love men who say that’s my limit, when they have gone as far as they can.
    I love men who say “you go on”, and support you until your limits are reached.
    I love men who are willing to live and let live.
    I love men who see injustice and get angry.
    I love angry men who have no limits when they see that injustice still exists.
    I love quite men who comfort the mind and the heart untroubled by Injustice.
    I love men who accept contradictions in others.
    I love men who contradict themselves and laugh.
    I love men who live in the moment, what ever type of heaven or hell that moment may be!
    I love men who see a world filled with wonder and can’t stop sharing it.

    • I love men who aspire and want to be bigger, or better, or even both, than they already are.
      I love men who say that’s my limit, when they have gone as far as they can.

      Seems contradictory.

  36. Paul wrote:
    I appreciate the sentiment of the posting but think that most of these ‘appreciations’ are not of actual men, but merely (socialized) ideas about men, delivered in the narrative of polarized gender roles. Indeed, there is a place for sexism, but I don’t think it’s here at the GMP. My two cents.

    Paul good perspective on your part. Perhaps these posts mainly by women are stereotypes of men and objectify men as strong, even keeled, a rock in a womans life. Like the Marloboro Man- a man should always be a rock in a womans life and never cry. A man should always lift things and help a woman with heavy stuff. Women can exploit men.
    Thanks for sharing your perspective Paul

    • @cleopas: Thanks. Like anyone else, I’m not exempt from some kind of internalized (benevolent) sexism either. I like walking a woman home, for instance. Call me a romantic. But my primary concern in human interactions is authenticity, which is something that I feel is negated by a socially conditioned gendered rhetoric. Although I choose to opt out of most gendered behaviors, I am not so much as adiment about eliminating them as I am about advocating for a shift in the figure ground, admiring the person before the socialized role, and not the other way around, which is the ubiquitous version of desire today.

      • “”Call me a romantic. But my primary concern in human interactions is authenticity, which is something that I feel is negated by a socially conditioned gendered rhetoric.””

        Could we have that in 24 point Double Bold – Please!

        • I’m not sure there is such a thing as authenticity; like the word ‘natural’, the word ‘authentic’ seems somewhat superfluous – if we humans are part nurture and part nature and always changing then any condition in which we find ourselves is authentic and natural – the bad as well as the good. I worry that ‘authenticity’ can be used (not by anyone here, I hasten to add) to exclude some groups, opinions and heart-felt positions as in-authentic: hence women in the workplace being accepted as surrogate men and non-white people having to play the coconut. But I would certainly agree that honesty can be an extremely attractive trait.

          • Nick – it’s easy to think and talk yourself out of being authentic.

            I find it fascinating how Authentic can be polarised, manipulated, changed, genderised and misused.

            I have been reading the responses here and one just sang out ” I love when a man leads me on the dance floor. He is in the moment, and I can follow every inspiration of his heart.”

            It speaks of the moment of Authenticity – of respect for that Authenticity – symbiosis with that Authenticity – Joy for that Authenticity….. and yet so many would miss the moment and dissect the Authenticity along gender lines, stereotype lines, political lines.

            C’est La Vie

          • Lisa Hickey says:

            One way that I like to use the word “authenticity” is someone whose words and actions are congruent. I agree that it is sometimes used as synonym for real, as in a “real man”, which makes no sense to me. But I do think there is often a disconnect between the what a person says they believe, or the values they say they hold true, and then the way in they act in the real world which doesn’t always support those beliefs. And while we all make mistakes, as humans, it is the inability to see that you haven’t acted in accordance with with your stated beliefs that leads to inauthenticity.

        • Julie Gillis says:

          Amen

  37. ^oops…typo

    The #1 compliment I could ever receive from a woman would be something that acknowledges my efforts to own and redirect male privilege toward egalitarian values. I feel that the masculine ideal is so ubiquitous that my contributions in these areas often go overlooked because I’m male, and fade into the background.

    • The term male privilege is usually used in either ignorance or contempt. I assume the former. The term male privilege is racist and is dismissive of the struggles of black and Latino males.

      There is no such thing as male privilege as a blanket term and concept. There may be well-placed white male privilege but that is where it ends.

      • People who use it may be stuck in the 1960s/70s or earlier where the historic well educated white who was truly dominant. However, if you look at the data of today, white women have it all-over all men, with the sometimes exception of white men. They also dominate in a number of areas formerly dominated by white men, and have many powerful advantages over all men.

        If one considers the data, that term is truly fact-defying, born in either ignorance, contempt or both. I haven’t ever seen anyone substantiate the use of that term with facts, as they don’t support it.

        • Fixing a type (missing word)

          People who use it may be stuck in the 1960s/70s or earlier where the historic well educated white MAN who was truly dominant.

        • Eric,
          please supply links to the data you mention. My own experience tells me that feminism in the area of the UK where I live (rural Devon) and in my father’s town (Bangkok) is less supported now than 20 years ago and, if anything, values are in some ways regressing. I’m astounded that you have found data that paints the picture you suggest. I have to say that I doubt there is such data.

          • Nick, perhaps there are no minorities in the rural town in which you live. And, perhaps nothing has changed there for decades, I don’t know.

            I don’t have time to look up the links, but you can go to various .gov websites and substantiate all of the below.

            Here in the United States, black men are 2x more likely to be unemployed than white women. (US Bureau of Labor Statistics)

            White women hold more managerial jobs than even white men. Black men aren’t even in that conversations. Black men are 5x more likely to be murdered and 5x more likely to be victims of violent crime/assault than white women. (US Dept of Justice, FBI)

            Women in general are nearly 60% of college graduates, with black and Latino men having the lowest percentage of graduates per capita. (US DoEd)

            White women outlive black men by 7 years, and suffer less chronic health problems overall. Black men are incarcerated far, far more often than white women, and commit suicide (the ultimate evidence of despair) with far greater frequency. (CDC, NIH NLM)

            By the way, all of this is true of men in general, but the delta is the greatest between white women and black men.

            So, here in the United States, it is a fact that women are doing better in most key areas when compared to men, and far better than minority men. According to the data, the objective facts, males, especially minority males are suffering the greatest inequality here in 2012.

  38. The #1 compliment I could ever receive from a woman would be something that acknowledges my efforts to own and male privilege toward egalitarian values. I feel that the masculine ideal is so ubiquitous that my contributions in these areas often go overlooked because I’m male, and fade into the background.

  39. Tom Matlack says:

    Thanks for this Neely. I love men too (more on that next week). Of course the great irony is that I started GMP because I so much believe in the idea that men are inherently good and that there are as many ways as their are men. I sought out men who showed me their goodness and inspired me to do better, not because I need to be better but because I want to be. And a lot of the guys I found in my travels were just damn cool dudes.

  40. Thank you Neely, and thank you ladies!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
    You know, we love you back, for thousands reasons; and this page is one more!
    God bless the women.

  41. I am smiling ear to ear reading the lists you all have come up with. Thank you. Keep them coming!
    Neely

  42. I appreciate the sentiment of the posting but think that most of these ‘appreciations’ are not of actual men, but merely (socialized) ideas about men, delivered in the narrative of polarized gender roles. Indeed, there is a place for sexism, but I don’t think it’s here at the GMP. My two cents.

    • I have a feeling that most if not all of the appreciations are based on personal experiences. I know mine are.

    • Paul, I agree – the list seems at best somewhat sycophantic and at worst
      just another piece of heterosexist anti-feminist propagander.

    • MorgainePendragon says:

      Hear hear, Paul and Nick! Thank you.

      I love men who call out “narrative[s] of polarized gender roles”.

      I love men who acknowledge “heterosexist anti-feminist propagand[a]”.

      I love feminist men– whether they call themselves that or not!

      • ty Morgaine, my spelling is so often shite…

        • MorgainePendragon says:

          Sorry, Nick, not a snipe at you, I’m just MS Pedantic (writer, English teacher, mother was an English teacher. Can’t help it).

          But I love all (so far) the comments I’ve read by you. You’re the kind of “good man” I was hoping to interact with when I first came here 😉

          • Don’t worry, I genuinely like my spelling to be corrected – I’ve had 50 years of mistakes and still don’t seem to spot them. Thanks too for your kind words, they’re appreciated. Happy New Year one and all! 🙂 I warm to your comments as well.

  43. I love when a man offers to do a particularly dirty or difficult household chore.

    I love how men are willing to be the furniture-movers, and I love it when they don’t get annoyed if you change your mind twice on where you want the wardrobe to be.

    I love it when men are patient with a woman’s outburst or sulky strop.

    I love the emotional stability of men. I love how they can have an argument without resorting to screeching, grudges or excessive name calling.

    I love how much fun it can be hanging out with guys. I love how they’re so relaxed with each other, so accepting of each other, and accepting of me. Not as clique-ey as women can be. I love how funny they can be and their enthusiasm for playing games and letting loose.

    I love how a good man can be a rock in a woman’s life.

  44. Wow this is such a blessing to hear since most of the time is how messed up men are.
    Thank You for so much for such a heart touching post Neely, very much appreciated!

  45. Orna wrote”I love when a man shows his love for another man friend – the male-bonding hug. ”
    Orna, thanks for writing. As a 40 year old man, I love when my male friends hug each other. My best friend Richy, and me are real close -we are childhood buddies. We are about as close as 2 heterosexual men can be. You see for years men like me were scared of loving and hugging other men for fear of being labeled gay.
    Now with the advent of the MRM and websites such as The Good Men Project, men are learning it is okay to appreciate other men and bear hug other men for a few seconds. It is real comforting when as Ona wrote when a man shows hiis love for his male buddy. Some call it a “Bromance” as the movie”I Love You Man” depicted. Anyway as a male, I have learned from The Good Man Project how to love and appreciate my fellow men.

  46. I love when my man is willing to be the Little Spoon and I can tuck my hand under that wonderful belly of his.

    I love the weight of my man on top of me.

    I love when my man is so passionate that he is willing to reveal himself entirely, and I love matching that passion and raising it together.

    I love when a man has a project or idea that drives him to search and discover.

    I love when a man leads me on the dance floor. He is in the moment, and I can follow every inspiration of his heart.

    I love to feel safe in a man’s presence, knowing that he will be my champion.

    I love when my man accepts my care and nurturing with satisfaction, whether it is a meal or sweet kisses after a long day.

    I love to feel my man’s desire for me. It makes me feel like a tigress to his tiger. Rrraow.

    I love being able to lift a mood or change the subject with a sexy flirtation. That “one track mind” is so fun to play into.

    I love the charisma of a man’s presence. I’m awe-inspired by a woman’s beauty and charm, but only a man can bring me to my knees.

    • “I love being able to lift a mood or change the subject with a sexy flirtation. That “one track mind” is so fun to play into.”

      Fail. You love that you stereotype us as being only interested in sex and therefore find it easy to manipulate us. Uh no. No thanks at the back handed compliment. Get over yourself. Not all of us will fall for whatever your flirt technique is and be pulled astray from what might be more important to us than validating your ego at the moment.

    • I love when a man leads me on the dance floor. He is in the moment, and I can follow every inspiration of his heart. this one is my favorite. i love a man that can dance because it shows that they can take the lead and passion they put in to the dance. ( i mean it for latin dances mostly) but thanks for it 🙂

  47. I love when a man shows his love for another man friend – the male-bonding hug.

    I love the drive of a man who is completely focused on his desired outcome.

    I love when a man will escort a bug outside where it belongs.

    I love that a man just naturally finds the “Easy Door” and a way to keep things simple.

    I love when a man refers to the professional team he roots for as “We…”

    GREAT article Neely!

  48. I love the stronge embrace when you’re upset that only a man can give, it’s one of the most comforting feelings in the world.

  49. Thanks!

  50. I love men who love their mothers.

  51. Nisha, MM great post. You both love men who love women. I love women who love men. Just the fact that you women are on this site The Good Men Project is cool. We need more bonding between The Mens Right Movement and women who want to support The Mens Rights Movement, We need more of a bridge between MRA’s and Feminists instead of constant conflict. All women here are welcome at the Good Men Project and to support us men in The MRM. Men can definitely use the support of women in the MRM. Thanks Nisha and MM for posting great stuff.

  52. Uncle Woofie says:

    I will NOT sully this list with a bitter personal need to grind axes, vent resentment, or as an opportunity to make the author look like anything other than someone who recognizes that too many men that are out there trying to fight the bitterness, resentment, and other slings and arrows that life has thrown at us all, and tend to get very little credit for the attempt.

    Many of us DO have issues with how men seem to be portrayed and analyzed in modern society, but have no interest in participating in a negative backlash to one of the loveliest articles concerning male qualities I’ve read inna long, long time.

    Thank you very much, Miss Neely….

  53. ok wow..impressed by the article but equally impressed with the response. It’s extremely educational to understand other topics that my clients (at It’s Just Lunch) may be interested in reading. Neely, might you be interested in guest blogging? thx

  54. I love the tall men who get things off high shelves for me at the store.
    I love men who are good fathers, sons, uncles and brothers.
    I love men who are not afraid to love others.
    I love the rough hands of a man who uses them to earn his living.

    My hope for the hurt men, the ones who have been scarred by loves past, can learn to leave their bitterness behind and open their hearts again, because you deserve to be loved and there’s someone out there just waiting for you to be open to let love in again!

  55. Dear Neely,

    As a woman, as the mother of a young adult son and daughter, as a wife, as an aspiring academic grappling with notions of fathering, masculinities and gender relations, and as a human being, I both appreciate your post and can understand the cynical reactions to it.

    As I try to understand your supporters and critics, I ask myself “what are the triggers for the cynics”? I chalk it up to a legacy of unequal and unrealistic gender relations. It appears that bringing the emotional capacities of men to center stage is problematic. We have been taught that the good “sturdy oak” will bear the brunt of all difficulties and “just suck it up” and that he will shield his woman and family from all evil. The flip side of the story is that the guy who can’t (through no fault of his own) live up to that expectation is a failure and unworthy. An alternate view is that women can’t (or don’t) have the same capacity to suck it up, shield and protect and that they shouldn’t.

    We all buy into this story. Men who strive to achieve that standard, women who expect men to achieve that standard, the children we raise who watch this in motion and who are constructing a sense of themselves. We absorb these ideas, build fantasies around these ideas and then are thoroughly disappointed by the failure of any one human being to be able to fulfill these ideals.

    The discomfort generated from a post as yours probably comes from our own discomfort in viewing men as having the same range of emotions as women. Is it possible that emotions and feelings are gendered? Do we believe that one is capable of feeling particular things because of their gender?

    Is it possible that, as many responders have said, these qualities that are possible and admirable in all human beings? The capacity to love and show love, to empathize and demonstrate empathy, to desire to provide care are capacities that we can all share as human beings.

    How do we bring the lives of men into center stage without undermining the lives of women? How do we appreciate both genders without undercutting either?

  56. What a sweet perfectly acceptable post.
    For 50 years ago,pre-feminism.

    I love a woman who stands by her man through thick and thin.
    She does not constantly seek the bigger better deal (hypergamy=%90 of women today)

    She actually knows love takes work and concessions from both sides,and is willing to stay through the bad times as well as the good times.

    She sees men as more than a transient resource to be exploited.
    She is willing to unclog that toilet herself when he is tired after having “worked long hours for her.”

    In other words, it’s a two way street.

    “The love you take is EQUAL to the love you make.”
    -Paul McCartney-

    Men as sewer inspectors?
    Is that the same as saying ‘I’m treating him like crap and he keeps giving?”

  57. Perry Glasser says:

    Hi Neely:
    Nothing you list seems bounded by gender. This seems less about what one might admire about men than it is what one might admire about any loving, caring, well-adjusted human being. So what? I can substitute the word “women” everywhere you’ve written “men” and have a list of attractive, human behaviors. Stepping back from male bashing for a moment to concede that men are human seems less than any admiration for “the male species.” You’ll garner lots of Replies, but try to refrain from believing you’ve said anything that needs saying.

    • This one is way more male specific “I love the shape of a man’s big, strong back when he leans over to pick up something heavy.”

      • Well it doesn’t take much tweaking to amke it apply to a woman, does it?

        “I like the shape of a woman’s big, strong butt when she leans over to pick up something.”

        Think of how women’s lives would change if they really heard that enough to start believing it.

  58. “hmm… i like the idea of this list (although not so much the reason for why it needed to be written and some of the follow up comments).
    im not feeling inspired to add any, but i will say this:
    as a woman, there are sooo many reason why it’s easy to ‘hate’ men. and try as you might, there are many things you’ll never have to experience or have to live with.
    that being said, for all the reasons (large, small, societal and otherwise) to hate – there are so so many reasons to love you. i dare say that the love of man is an underlying root of what moves many women (NOT ALL WOMEN). we may not tell you enough, but there it is.
    i’m definitely will use this a fodder for a future post!”

    Yes, that was all very uplifting, man-hater, back to your cats now.

    • ^^^ WHAT??

    • “Yes, that was all very uplifting, man-hater, back to your cats now.”

      Yes, because saying anything remotely critical about a man means we hate men. And WE are the sensitive ones. *Jadakiss laugh*

      Oh, and looks like the “Feminist haters that don’t even really know what feminism is” bunch is back in town! Lemme get my welcome jello mold… -_-

  59. @dawgslappa says:

    Thanks Neely, that was awesome!

  60. I think one mark of a real ‘man’ is the one who is integral and centered in who he is and who gives his gift not only to his woman, but to the world. But still, knows how to make his woman feel as though she’s the only person in the room amidst the crowd.

  61. 1. I love men who stand up for women.
    2. I love men who show care but also let women be independent and strong.
    3. I love men who love strong women.
    4. I love men when they cry, because it shows that they feel emotions too.
    5. I love men who are tall, short, bald, hairy, have big eyes, have small eyes, wear goggles, wear specs, have a good sense of humor, have a bad sense of humor, have strange feet, have cute feet, have soft hands, have tough, big hands, have soft voice, have deep voice. In short, I love all men who come in different shapes and sizes, provided they let me feel like a woman.

    • Nisha says:
      “2. I love men who show care but also let women be independent and strong”

      If somebody is “letting” you (as in generic you, not you personally) be independent and strong, then something is wrong.

  62. Memo to modern-feminists(all of the people behind this site and the majority of its readers) – your snake oil salesman tactics to “package” this site as something other than feminist propaganda is sleazy and obvious.

  63. hmm… i like the idea of this list (although not so much the reason for why it needed to be written and some of the follow up comments).

    im not feeling inspired to add any, but i will say this:
    as a woman, there are sooo many reason why it’s easy to ‘hate’ men. and try as you might, there are many things you’ll never have to experience or have to live with.

    that being said, for all the reasons (large, small, societal and otherwise) to hate – there are so so many reasons to love you. i dare say that the love of man is an underlying root of what moves many women (NOT ALL WOMEN). we may not tell you enough, but there it is.

    i’m definitely will use this a fodder for a future post!

  64. So many “good” things about men, impossible even to try to mention them all — doting, responsible and sometimes even playful, funny dad is awfully nice; man relaxing at home in comfy chair is very nice, too. From beard stubble to big feet , the list of masculine delights is endless!

  65. I love how men put so much investment into their passions and hobbies.
    I love how men react to things that are cute, like videos of baby animals.
    I love the nonverbal, hardly noticeable but inherently meaningful communication that happens between men who know each other well.
    I love seeing men be good friends to each other, and to women.
    I love how men act on their instinct to protect themselves and others.
    I love the sound of men singing a capella. I especially love old Gregorian chants.
    I love how men over the span of history have expressed their unique genius through literature, poetry, art, music, and science.
    I love when a man bonds with his pet or an animal under his care or study.
    I love that men are typically not afraid to get their hands dirty in the name of a good cause, or good fun.
    I love that men will almost always say yes when asked to help you move something heavy.

  66. Charming *and* beautiful….

  67. Don’t you love it that a man has broad shoulders for you to ride on at a concert?

    • GirlGlad4theGMP says:

      I love that a man’s physique is different. Bigger, broader, etc., perhaps not to carry women around at concerts (spidaman3 😉 ) or to pick up heavy things, but because it’s just damn sexy.

      I love that men approach and solve problems differently.
      I love that men relate to each other in a different way than women do.
      I love that men speak to their children (or the children in their lives) with different perspective.

  68. I wish so many of Neely’s compliments were not phrased in such a blatantly heteronormative way, it seems to me the word “partner” could be substituted for “woman” without any loss of profundity.

    That being said, I guess Neely is creating a personal list as a (presumed) heterosexual.

    Either way the idea is lovely, and I would like to add, as there are many things about men I believe valuable outside their relationship with a significant other.

    I love the way a great male friend will look at you and make you understand deeply that they will do anything for you.

    I love the way a man under stress can set his jaw and bear pain.

    I love how men in competition (sports or whatever) look at each other with a combination of total determination to win and mutual respect.

    I love how men find humor in all situations, whether or not it’s tasteful or suitable.

    I love small male-specific greetings, like the up or down nod, and how men unconsciously know what is appropriate.

    I love how quickly and easily men transition from deadly serious to silly and ridiculous.

    I love men’s fearlessness.

    There are so many more, these just happened to immediately come to mind.

  69. Wow… I’m suprised to see this reaction. This is just her opinion of things she loves. It doesn’t mean that all men need to behave this way in order to be loved, but honestly, it’s nice when the man you love does these things for you and I think a lot of men would say the same for things they love about women. Who doesn’t like feeling special and loved?

    • Wow… I’m suprised to see this reaction.
      So am I Caitlin, some people will look for the dark in everything.
      Caitlin, the negative commenters are new to GMP too, so who knows their agenda.

    • PursuitAce says:

      What does that feel like? Probably not possible to explain it I guess.

      • Obvious feminist agenda is obvious. No one is buying you trying to hide that the man she described she loves is a doormat’s doormat. If that list were shown to women as “what I love about women” they’d scream sexism as usual.

    • PursuitAce says:

      Just pain and loss of trust issues. This is a nice list, but I too am unmoved anymore.

    • @ Caitlyn,

      It’s interesting. I and others have spewed (seemingly righteous to us) anger over Hugo’s man-blaming articles.

      Now a contributor writes a male positive article (I understand there can be some quibbles about her list) and some are still mad. While I agree that feminism is totally messed up (as some have stated) and the practice of removing dads from families is awful this just isn’t the article those comments should be posted on.

      It reminds me of the Monty Python movie Life Of Brian in “Alms for an ex-leper”.

      There’s no pleasing some people.
      ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U74s8nFE7No

      • There are only two items on that list that do not describe mens’ utility to women (her) or society. Jamming down your supper and running maniacally into the ocean. Even those are just primitive behaviours for her personal amusement.

  70. “OK, here’s the idea behind the website. If you massage a man’s ego, you can get him to do anything. So we plant a couple pro-men articles. Let’s use that patsy – Matlack. Then, we flood the articles with the subtext that women are perfect in every way(except when men MAKE them otherwise) and all men have impure blood. We’ll do this by painting a model of what they should be like in order to evolve from their sub-human state. I know what you’re thinking. Feminists yell sexism when women are accused of being deceitful. Well that’s just it – you get to behave badly if you accuse people who call you on it as being hateful. This is how we pulled off the scam of painting the 2 female-specific words that mean “cruel” as offensive while there are way more such words assigned for men. Just pull the patriarchy card as your last resort. Look, we’re headed towards a difficult time. Men will soon realize that the glass ceiling benefited almost no men and shattering it will benefit almost no women. The danger is that they might notice that a huge amount of women have enjoyed the privilege of the glass floor – the horrible jobs. If you think that’s all the ego massaging we need to make up for, think again. Men might also realize that the politicians serve the voters(mostly women) and the corporations serve the consumers(mostly women) and television serves the viewers(mostly women) and especially the advertisers which serve consumers(mostly women.) So try not to use that card too often. Seriously, this site better work out or we might be subjugated to the horrific fate of equality.”

  71. *there(being no good men) *anymore

  72. You forgot:

    “I love it when you accept both equality and chivalry to fulfill a woman’s need to feel superior”

    “I love it that you don’t retaliate much when said woman dumps you because she turned you into a doormat and therefore feels degraded being with you which doesn’t satisfy a woman’s need to respect her lover.”

    “I love it when you tolerate women blaming their loneliness on their being no good men any more.”

    “I love it when you don’t respond to them that these men were raised by women who taught them that there’s something inherently rotten within them, motivated by young women to be a-holes, viewed as not-as-young-women as nothing more than sperm donors and wallets, then blamed by all women for everything.”

  73. Sorry, conniving female supremacist, but the whole “I know what this may seem like to you” isn’t made up for by telling us that you love it when we slave for you.

    • Jack,

      The greatest leader is the one who is the greatest server.

      None of this said anything about being sub-servant to woman. If you serve your woman well, a good woman will see you as a leader in your relationship and will serve you back, in turn making herself a leader in your relationship.

      A good relationship is composed of two individuals who both serve and lead one another.

      • kckrupp

        Great. Now copy that list and change the sexes. Show it to women and tell me if you were capable of finding a single one who didn’t vomit, then went on about how offensive it was describing her like a Stepford housewife.

        Sorry, but the hidden motives of this feminist site is obvious. You wanted equality, yet pushed a purely gynocentric view of the genders, making women turn every little thing as victimizing of women. Mutual worship is no longer possible because of you. Only cordial respect, which ebbs very fast. But you have a bullet-proof answer to everything – blame the men. Well, much to your delight, boys have been miserably failing at school for decades and no one said a word in fear of offending modern women(oh look, an avenue of power that isn’t about the puppet president) and soon enough you’ll get your classist society. Because of course women will not share their wealth with men as men have shared with them(women control 80% of spending.) So the new right wing party in a couple decades will be mostly women and they’ll make the new traditionalism: feminism. The blaming of men for any problems. This won’t last long before a revolt because women forgot to shatter the glass floor they’re so privileged to enjoy – the horrific jobs. Good luck.

        • I would have been fine with true equality over pre-60’s gender roles, btw. But you all based your outlooks on hate and are stammering now to figure what is it that has shattered male confidence. Since your ideology is hatred, you go back to your comfortable base that men are to blame and women did nothing wrong. Your children will curse you.

          • Jack,

            I am thoroughly against blaming the men and have gotten into many major arguments and disagreements with feminist friends of mine over this issue. I think it’s great to be a man and that men should celebrate the things that make them men. I don’t know where you came to that conclusion that I’m speaking from a place of hate.

            Did what you said regarding switching genders and showed it to my fiance: she loved it. Showed it to another female friend and she loved it as well.

            It seems pretty clear from the reply that there is no room left in your heart for any sort of conversation or discussion. I find hate from either side unfortunate and appalling.

            Best of luck.

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