20 Lessons From My Men’s Group That Have Improved My Life

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About Dale Thomas Vaughn

After a decade of leading more than 150 award-winning men’s workshops, Dale has fine-tuned a 5 step program that has transformed entire communities of men who are looking for a team, a clear direction, and a chance to connect and mentor other men while having fun in the process. As seen on CNN Live, CBS “Texans With Character,” and in the LA Weekly, Dale has been proclaimed as “a man of quality and one of the leaders of men of quality” by best-selling author and top feminist attorney Gloria Allred. In addition to founding The EmpowerMentorship Institute, Dale also works with universities and fraternities to prevent sexual assault on campus. Reach Dale at EmpowerMentorship.com or MenWithIntegrity.com.


  1. Michael Hale says:

    Thank you for the work done in the writing of this article. Just by putting your experience in a men’s group out into the world, the potential exists for another man to step into what may be a foreign and uncomfortable stretch; finding a circle of men. In my Durango, Colorado community of men, there are a total of eight circles and approximately 100(?) men actively sitting. Our greater community feels the reverberations of this and I am made aware through these men’s partners, friends, and families. In my judgement, these men’s groups are some of the most important work we can endeavor towards, as the healing of our woundings and the connection with other men as they are doing the same is so very integral in creating the greater health. Thanks again for your insights.

  2. Dale, great article. My men’s group has been meeting regularly since 1979. We started out in the San Francisco Bay area and met weekly for years. Now we are more dispersed and have kept our commitment to be in the group throughout our lives. So we have to fly to keep our group together (one guy lives in Seattle…damn you Tony for beating up on our 49ers). But once you’ve been with a group of guys who have gone deep, deep, deep with each other, you don’t want to lose it. We’ve been through births, deaths, marriages and breakups, and now issues around aging and the pains and dis-eases, as well as the joys and comfort, that go with adding years to our lives.

    Being here on the Good Men Project reminds me of all the good men in the world and our group of these particular good group of 8 guys who have been with me for 35 years and will be with me until my time in this earth has ended and I’m ready for whatever comes next. I look forward to hearing more about the men and men’s groups that are connected here.

  3. Steven McDade says:

    Having been bullied as a kid, I learned to distrust other boys. I’m still searching for a few good men that I could form bonds with.

  4. Thank you for the comments Michael, Jed, and Steven!

    Steven, It’s a tough search; but there are good men and good groups that can help you a lot. If you’re in LA, check us out at NextGent.com… you’ d be very welcome.

  5. Great article! So important…! My hubby is currently on a “man weekend” with his old roommate from grad school and his cousin…they are doing “man stuff” on a remote mountain (fishing? ATVs, beer, etc.)….

  6. Thanks Dale! Fantastic article!

    Living in a foreign country where many of the lessons you communicate are even more foreign to the natives than what you experienced in the US, I can tell you that even on-line groups of men to call you on your BS are a big help.

    Having recently gone through a divorce, in part because I didn’t accept her challenge, I am looking more and more to find these male connections but perhaps it is time to develop a group for the 1/1 thing just does not work when you are an outsider in this culture, even though I have been here almost 10 years.

    Worth giving a shot in any case!

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