2012: A Year of Outrages

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About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is the co-founder of The Good Men Project. He has a 18-year-old daughter and 16- and 7-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life. Follow him on Twitter @TMatlack.


  1. You know something just hit me about this outrage from Feministe:

    Unless the GMP is willing to show some major change (replace Matlack, ban MRAs, don’t publish pieces by admitted serial rapists), let’s avoid reading them. Let’s avoid reading anyone who cross-promotes with them. Let’s avoid reading their writers on any other websites. If they want to be MRA-ville, more power to ‘em. But they don’t get the cover of feminism or progressivism anymore.

    Since when is feminism the center all be all of progress and when it progressivism the center all be of changing gender roles? Seriously those folks need to get over themselves when it comes to the gender discourse….

    • I believe its one of the blessings of 2012, with all the transformation and upheaval going on in the world, that we have a place like GMP where we can talk passionately with each other about things that matter to us and the world. Thank you Tom, Lisa, and all the other writers and supporters of GMP that are willing to stick their necks out to speak truth from the heart. May the blessings of honest dialogue take us home and may we expand the dialogue to include more supporters and dissenters.

      • Tom Matlack says:

        Thanks Jed.

      • Amen to that.

        Those folks are just going to have to get over themselves. Actually its more of they have to get over the fact that they may not be the bleeding edge of gender discourse anymore. Maybe that’s it. Maybe they are simply jealous that GMP is taking the very lead in the gender discourse that they once held. Having such a prominent position is pretty important, especially when one wants to control the conversation to the point of exiling those that don’t tow the party line.

    • That was polite, referring to some people’s behaviour and attitude as “…Gender Discourse..”. Discourse means “any unit of connected speech or writing longer than a sentence. “. Maybe they are confused and think it reads Gender Discord and have been practising the wrong skill set?

  2. What I find “So” surprising is just how much negativity comes from such a small group. In particular, how can one person can do so much mud slinging alone? Anyone would think Tom knew them personally, had ruined prom night or maybe had a secret love child with them. Else, It gets quite Bunny Boiler!

    • It’s worse than not showing up at the prom – some of these topics can be articles of faith/ belief systems that form individual and group identities. That wonderful need for social connectedness can run amok under certain sets of circumstances and create a rigid barrier to further progress. The speed and fury of the internet does not help much either :) It is a real pickle!

      Maybe you heard of Lapierre’s speech the other day – nothing new, the truth is self evident and cannot waiver and I’ve invested way too much into this belief system that I really can’t let any parts of it go – one iota.

      On the question of outrage – how can we tell when we’ve gone too far and how then do we adjust our thinking? Free speech, with all its quirks, is one o four prized assets on this front, even though it too is susceptible, as an idea, to premature ejaculation, and why does pretty much everything eventually reduce to cum shots? :)

      • “Free speech, with all its quirks, is one o four prized assets on this front, even though it too is susceptible, as an idea, to premature ejaculation, and why does pretty much everything eventually reduce to cum shots?”

        That’s….a rather apt, if somewhat disturbing analogy.

        And now I have some rather disturbing mental images of what Twitter resembles.

      • On the question of outrage – how can we tell when we’ve gone too far and how then do we adjust our thinking?

        Well from personal observation, anyone who can consider the question is always walking a tight rope and wondering if they will fall. They tend to have balance and you see a lot of it here at GMP. It’s a actually a very positive and reassuring sign.

        Other wise the only way to deal with the Balance issue involves very large hammers, baseball bats and adjusting some people’s privilege levels with a 3 foot length of lead pipe. Rage and Outrage – One and the same thing except with one the person has been drinking multiple Well Justified Cocktails which come with added aggression and self serving cherries on top! Salt Rim optional.

        I do think that the Cum Shot analogy does have some value. I fear that the more people talk about sex, what it is, how to do it and what should come where, it just shows a massive reduction in actual nookie – and so you have this Bravura issue of bragging to have great sex and being completely fulfilled, whilst at the same time there being a Freudian need to hide the truth, justify and so you have Outrage as a cover and relief system. The more Outraged the less sexually fulfilled and it becomes a downward spiral as outrage reduces the means of attaining any nookie.

        It could be seen as Darwinian selection via iPad!

        I’m working with some associates to develop a study for the foundation of Bloggers Anonymous – a place where those who have been driven by improper blogging to destroy those around them, family friends, total strangers on twitter. We have some issues though, on what to have as a replacement for blogging and cyber lording in general. It seems that as soon as you pull the plug for good, all those in recovery just want to screw, drink, free base and have babies.

        Maybe it would be best to ask Sir Tim Berners Lee if teh net was such a good idea in the first place.

  3. Ovik Banerjee says:

    I think Winston Churchill said it best. “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

    I’m grateful for what the Good Men Project is trying to do, one of which is creating a dialogue and a discourse about a number of issues that are far too often swept under the rug.

  4. If you’re annoying both Internet feminists and MRAs, then you must be doing something right ;)

  5. Mr Supertypo says:

    getting attacks and insult from both feminist and MRA it means you are on the right track. All great thinkers and changers where attacked and insulted, some even incarcerated and tortured.

    Keep up the good work, and dont let yourself be scared by the conservationists :-D

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